PARENTING IS HARD WORK!!! update: she keeps calling

[silverpig]

32 in 1.5 days? One an hour on average?

Psycho.

 

[Cheval]

Originally posted by: rh71
umm was the girl good looking ? What kind of 21 year old girl goes for underage boys ?

One that is between teaching jobs. :shocked:

 

[neonerd]

Originally posted by: silverpig
32 in 1.5 days? One an hour on average?

Psycho.

 

[blahblah99]

I hope your son decides for the better when he turns 18 as it can become ugly.

 

[Darilus]

Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey

Originally posted by: acemcmac
but if I was in a situation with... like a 28 or 29 year old... (I'm an undergrad still, so I think this is a good comparison), I'd explore the whole situation to try to discover any underlying motives, keep my spending in check, stay sober and avoid sex until I have such a handle on the situation that I can be sure it's not going to turn into a runaway train. I'm pretty hard to take advantage of.

I had a relatively short uh... episode with a 27 or 28 year old, and I'm 21. She was pretty much a psycho, but it was me that end up hurting her in the end, because I just couldn't stand her psycho ass anymore and ended up basically having to tell her to go away. Man that was a bad experience.

Agreed. I had a 3-4 month fling with a 34 year old(I'm 25), and it ended badly just because I got tired of her issues. I've lowered my limit to 30 now, and so far so good.

Edit: Oh, and :thumbsup: badmouse, you did good.

 

[Megatomic]

Originally posted by: Koing
And he doesn't have a cell phone?!

Koing

Is he supposed to have one? My children won't have one until they're old enough to get one on their own. I don't even carry one, there's no reason for them to either.

 

[Wingznut]

Originally posted by: neonerd

Originally posted by: silverpig
32 in 1.5 days? One an hour on average?

Psycho.

No doubt. A 21 yr-old who doesn't think she can do any better than a 9th grader... So much so that she obsessively phones the kid, is definitely not playing with a full deck.

You guys who think badmouse should allow this, or stand by and do nothing, are nothing short of completely ignorant.

 

[SandInMyShoes]

From a 17 y/o's perspective, you did the right thing. I can see myself wanting to do it when I was 14, but it wouldn't be in either party's best interest. What you've said about the girl tells me that you need to do everything possible to protect your son. Not that I would approve of it happening with my son if they both were actually mature, sensible people (your son is obviously blinded, but if he can't make himself reason in this situation, it's your duty to), but it would be a better situation than this. I can certainly understand not wanting to get the law involved, I'd recommend you do if you have to, to stop her.

 

[dragonballgtz]

Come on. Let your son hit it at least once.





Seriously though. Does your son have a sh!t load of money or something? I would of asked her WTF was her problem and what she sees in him?

 

[Megatomic]

On topic, badmouse, it it tough being a parent. And it seems like the older they get the harder it becomes. I've got 3, they are 12, 11, and 10. Luckily I don't have to deal with matters pertaining to the opposite sex yet, but I know my day is coming. I'm trying to convince them that they don't even want the hassle of a boyfriend/girlfriend yet and that they can do plenty of fun things without one.

So far so good.

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: PrinceofWands

Originally posted by: rh71
umm was the girl good looking ? What kind of 21 year old girl goes for underage boys ?

I dated a 29yr old when I was 17. It happens more often than you'd think.

I don't know... I was very different at 14 when compared with 17... I don't know why any adult girl would want a 14 year old boy.

 

[Xionide]

What are you doing, LET THE BOY LIVE!

 

[Calin]

Originally posted by: acemcmac
I know the kid's probably too young to have the experience to try to run with the situation defensivley... but if I was in a situation with... like a 28 or 29 year old... (I'm an undergrad still, so I think this is a good comparison), I'd explore the whole situation to try to discover any underlying motives, keep my spending in check, stay sober and avoid sex until I have such a handle on the situation that I can be sure it's not going to turn into a runaway train. I'm pretty hard to take advantage of.

It is a good comparation just regarding the age difference. However, as an undergrad you are mature, while at 14 the kid is certainly not.
And badmouse, it was the right choice. The real difficult thing would be to convince your son about that. Good luck, and well done

Calin

 

[Bryophyte]

Would you want someone to have sexual contact with your 14 year old child that is old enough to be a college graduate yet still attracted to children? That is creepy. If she isn't smart enough to get the point that she could spend the rest of her life as a registered sex offender with her records indicating the victim is a child, no less, then she needs the police to tell her that she's treading on thin ice.

 

[SP33Demon]

Stat rape, plain and simple. Good job badmouse, if your son was 16 or 17 I might allow it but this btch seems Psycho calling that many times. She most likely already has 3-4 STD's from the sound of it...

 

[Eli]

Man, he's going to hate you for a long, long time.. lol...

But it will probably be a good thing later on.

Although, I think you're going to have a hell of a time keeping them apart, unless you keep him under lock and key...

 

[Eli]

Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
I'm 32, have a degree, served in the military during time of war, and have children...I don't think there are many people who could define mature in a way that doesn't cover me.

It is the parents primary job to teach a child to seek to judge right from wrong for themselves. Right and wrong are generally subjective besides a few absolutes (like don't murder). If you're a devout Christian your view of right and wrong may be ENTIRELY different from your childs...and if you're trying to force your subjective beliefs on another human being that it's not good parenting, it's child abuse.

Societal standards mean exactly squat. Personal beliefs are true only to the edge of your own flesh. You want kids to think of consequences, learn critical thinking, develop compassion, and above all else be true to themselves against all forces of society and others.

I never said the person did wrong, only that it was likely that the two would end up together anyway, which they very probably will. It's the parents right to make the rules of their own house, but like it or not children are people too and are going to make up their own minds on things. The best we can hope to do is influence and support, not direct.

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

Originally posted by: PrinceofWands
It is only modern american social constructs derived from puritan extreme religious views which have established that notion. Even 50 years ago marriage at 14-16 was common worldwide. Before 1800 12 was ripe and ready. Certainly this was partially due to shortened lifespan at the time, but moreover it's a function of common tradition.

You can certainly name many reasons why waiting till you're older is better/safer for marriage, childbirth, sex, etc...but you can come up with just about as many reasons to go ahead and do it. What it comes down to is personal choice and the person that makes that choice is the individual, NOT the parent. I accept this fact, even about my own daughter, though it will likely cause some pain I believe it's better overall for growth and understanding.

In short, believe whatever you want, but accept that it's a personal belief with no truth beyond your own flesh.

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[IHateMyJob2004]

And to think, your boy could have become a man without your medling.

 

[Kelemvor]

Can you just program Vonage to block that certain number? Not sure what kidn of control you have over that.

 

[Kyteland]

Originally posted by: imtim83
Deeko and YankeezXBA you all are so sick its not even funny. A 14 year old is not even suppose to do that. You people live in a very sick world.


badmouse did the right thing.

No, no. You have the stereotype all wrong.

21 year old man gets with a 14 year old girl he is a pedophile and an all around sick fvck.

14 year old boy gets with a 21 year old woman he is the man and an all around pimp.

</sarcasm>

 

[eigen]

None of this thread matters. All the posts about morality and religon etc... are wasted. In the time between the OP and now, you know this kid has nailed her.YOU KNOW HE HAS.when you guys were wasting time being idealistic and debating subjective ethics, this kid was dealing with realpolitik and being pragmatic and in return got some 21yr old punnany. This whole attitude is the problem with aids prevention in Africa: What people "should do" ( dont fvck) versus what they are gonna do ( fvck like bunnies)

 

[Hammer]

i agree with the people that said to deal with the woman. if they boy wants to sneak away and see this girl ( and it sounds like he does) then he's going to do it. kids have been sneaking out on their parents for every. you will not be able to stop it.

see if you can take out a restraining order against her.

 

[BadNewsBears]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
a female is physically most ready to concieve and give birth between 16 and 18. a male is at his sexual peek at 18.

a female that gives birth before the age of 18 is more likely to have a healthy life (physically).

society has taught us and ingrained in us the fact that people 18 and younger are not actually people and not capable of making responsible decisions. that's just not true.

i don't disagree with the actions of the OP, but the facts are, it's more based on societal expectations than on natural laws.

My mom has delivered 12 and 13 year olds . Most recently a 14yr old. But thats (sickingly) average (average minimum for young mothers).

 

[BadNewsBears]

talking to the police is BAD BAD BAD!!!>>>> SMACK!!!

Consider yourself chastised.

Unless someting horrible is about to happen it is ONLY GOING TO DEEPEN AND MUCK THE MUD HOLE FURTHER. The authorities are not always the awnser to civil disputes. Doing this makes it a forbidden fantasy if you will for your son. He wants to see her even more now. Even though he might not even think it, his natural reaction will be to want to see her against your will. Buy him some condoms and MAKE SURE HE KNOWS HOW TO USE THEM. It is honestly the best piece of advice you could get from this whole thread. Do not assume you can be a good parent and sever the ties between them and think its over and done and he has learned 'mom is boss and I shouldn't do this' . It IS IMPOSSIBLE. You can not even fathom what a young male will do to tap some older, developed ass. He would kill the pope to do it.

 

[BadNewsBears]

Originally posted by: Munchies
talking to the police is BAD BAD BAD!!!>>>> SMACK!!!

Consider yourself chastised.

Unless someting horrible is about to happen it is ONLY GOING TO DEEPEN AND MUCK THE MUD HOLE FURTHER. The authorities are not always the awnser to civil disputes. Doing this makes it a forbidden fantasy if you will for your son. He wants to see her even more now. Even though he might not even think it, his natural reaction will be to want to see her against your will. Buy him some condoms and MAKE SURE HE KNOWS HOW TO USE THEM. It is honestly the best piece of advice you could get from this whole thread. Do not assume you can be a good parent and sever the ties between them and think its over and done and he has learned 'mom is boss and I shouldn't do this' . It IS IMPOSSIBLE. You can not even fathom what a young male will do to tap some older, developed ass. He would kill the pope to do it.

In addition to this. Speak to the girl and tell her. "I do not approve of you seeing my son. I think it is ridiculous for someone your age to see someone so young. You really must be a loser."

But you MUST know nothing will stop your son short of being locked up in jail of seeing her if he wants.