MichaelD is right

[tantos]

Dude..STOP f*cking feeling sorry for yourself and get some balls and dump this whore!
If you don't, I hope to God I never see you post another whiny ass thread about your gf
again!

 

[jaeger66]

Originally posted by: MichaelD


I feel your pain, believe me. What happened to you is NOT the way you want to break up. And you really, really HAVE TO dump her ass.

I can tell you this:

1. It was not the first time she's cheated on you..no matter what she tells you
2. She'll do it again. And again
3. You need to put her out at the curb with the rest of your recycleables.

Good luck. PM me if necessary; I'm here for you.

There's even worse things that happened during the course of all this...I actually found out about 3 weeks ago and forgave her...or so I thought. I thought I had moved right through the stages of grief into acceptance. But the thought that they still work together and still were sort of friendly made me realize that I was stuck in denial and then last week it all came crashing down. Even after the confession I came to find she was still lying to me about the details...sigh.

 

[jaeger66]

Originally posted by: tantos
Dude..STOP f*cking feeling sorry for yourself and get some balls and dump this whore!
If you don't, I hope to God I never see you post another whiny ass thread about your gf
again!

Eh, so don't read it. In nearly 3800 posts this is my first one about relationship crap. I'm allowed one rant every 4000 posts or so.

 

[jaeger66]

Originally posted by: flavio
Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get angry like you should be. It sounds like you live together? Be smart and cover your bases financially, get things setup so you can get the hell away from her or better yet kick her the hell out, call in friends if need be.

Then get one last piece of ass before you leave, when your done toss down 42 cents on the table and say "that should about cover it, now get the fsck out".

Good advice, but right now I just can't until I have income again. I actually did tell her that if she was going to pull a Divine Brown she could have at least gotten the $20, we could have used it. Too bad she didn't get arrested, I mean this was broad daylight in public.

 

[Chaotic42]

:beer:

 

[Pilsnerpete]

I'm sorry that happened. As sorry as if you were a neighbor>

 

[Miramonti]

sorry to hear about it. something like this brings new meaning to 'ignorance is bliss' because its pain like that where you can crave to have the days of ignorance back.

just a few thoughts...

First of all you gave MichaelD deserved credit for being right, only to have him respond with more jibberish that's complete bs and unfounded. His presumptions are not necessarily 'facts' but again show his aged bitterness so end your reverence now!

in one regard, its 'only' selfishness that happened, not an intentional disrespect. it could have happened to you at some point in the future too, even tho you didn't partake before. Its disgusting that it happened but its the oldest thing in the book that people stumble on. If you cheated would that mean you didn't love your SO? not necessarily. Is it possible that in the future you could be in a vulnerable place with a hot babe and wind up cheating? probably.

immediately dumping someone of 4 years doesn't always make sense because now the truth is out...there's no such thing as good girls or bad girls (or guys), either can fail if in a very tempting situation. happens to trash but also happens to pastors who seek to lead a clean life etc. Dump one and you have the same risks with another.

I wouldn't necessarily encourage staying with her either but I think her response to your pain is very important. If she feels it and is sincerely sorry and heartbroken and is consoling etc., then there might be hope. If she's a hardass about it or seeks to justify it or wants to protect herself from criticism or acts like you're overreacting, its over, and it may have happened previously, but even if not, there wouldn't be much to prevent it from happening again.

hang in there.

(and pray for peace, you may get some, seriously!)

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: jjsole
sorry to hear about it. something like this brings new meaning to 'ignorance is bliss' because its pain like that where you can crave to have the days of ignorance back.

just a few thoughts...

First of all you gave MichaelD deserved credit for being right, only to have him respond with more jibberish that's complete bs and unfounded. His presumptions are not necessarily 'facts' but again show his aged bitterness so end your reverence now!

in one regard, its 'only' selfishness that happened, not an intentional disrespect. it could have happened to you at some point in the future too, even tho you didn't partake before. Its disgusting that it happened but its the oldest thing in the book that people stumble on. If you cheated would that mean you didn't love your SO? not necessarily. Is it possible that in the future you could be in a vulnerable place with a hot babe and wind up cheating? probably.

immediately dumping someone of 4 years doesn't always make sense because now the truth is out...there's no such thing as good girls or bad girls (or guys), either can fail if in a very tempting situation. happens to trash but also happens to pastors who seek to lead a clean life etc. Dump one and you have the same risks with another.

I wouldn't necessarily encourage staying with her either but I think her response to your pain is very important. If she feels it and is sincerely sorry and heartbroken and is consoling etc., then there might be hope. If she's a hardass about it or seeks to justify it or wants to protect herself from criticism or acts like you're overreacting, its over, and it may have happened previously, but even if not, there wouldn't be much to prevent it from happening again.

hang in there.



(and pray for peace, you may get some, seriously!)

What I say is fact based on my own personal experiences; and I can tell you I've been around the block.

You sound like some sort of namby-pamby, half-assed counselor or something. "Her response to your pain is important." Are you always this stupid or is today a special occassion? Her response? How about her response to having some guy's organ halfway down her throat? That's not important anymore b/c she "feels badly", right?

I tell you what, there's a BIG difference b/t my GF/SO saying "I went out with the girls, had one too many and I sucked face w/this guy, but that's alll that happened"

AND

"I was hanging out w/Paul from work...we started kissing then I sucked him off...I'm real sorry about that."

Big difference, buddy.

I have been in the situation that I lost my job and suddenly things got real bad. I tend to think that she's being abusive b/c she knows he's screwed; he has no job and no money right now, so it's not like he can just up and leave.

I hope that maybe he can sell a few things and get the hell out of there. He deserves much better than that!

 

[Miramonti]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: jjsole sorry to hear about it. something like this brings new meaning to 'ignorance is bliss' because its pain like that where you can crave to have the days of ignorance back. just a few thoughts... First of all you gave MichaelD deserved credit for being right, only to have him respond with more jibberish that's complete bs and unfounded. His presumptions are not necessarily 'facts' but again show his aged bitterness so end your reverence now! in one regard, its 'only' selfishness that happened, not an intentional disrespect. it could have happened to you at some point in the future too, even tho you didn't partake before. Its disgusting that it happened but its the oldest thing in the book that people stumble on. If you cheated would that mean you didn't love your SO? not necessarily. Is it possible that in the future you could be in a vulnerable place with a hot babe and wind up cheating? probably. immediately dumping someone of 4 years doesn't always make sense because now the truth is out...there's no such thing as good girls or bad girls (or guys), either can fail if in a very tempting situation. happens to trash but also happens to pastors who seek to lead a clean life etc. Dump one and you have the same risks with another. I wouldn't necessarily encourage staying with her either but I think her response to your pain is very important. If she feels it and is sincerely sorry and heartbroken and is consoling etc., then there might be hope. If she's a hardass about it or seeks to justify it or wants to protect herself from criticism or acts like you're overreacting, its over, and it may have happened previously, but even if not, there wouldn't be much to prevent it from happening again. hang in there. (and pray for peace, you may get some, seriously!)

What I say is fact based on my own personal experiences; and I can tell you I've been around the block. You sound like some sort of namby-pamby, half-assed counselor or something. "Her response to your pain is important." Are you always this stupid or is today a special occassion? Her response? How about her response to having some guy's organ halfway down her throat? That's not important anymore b/c she "feels badly", right?

I tell you what, there's a BIG difference b/t my GF/SO saying "I went out with the girls, had one too many and I sucked face w/this guy, but that's alll that happened" AND "I was hanging out w/Paul from work...we started kissing then I sucked him off...I'm real sorry about that." Big difference, buddy. I have been in the situation that I lost my job and suddenly things got real bad. I tend to think that she's being abusive b/c she knows he's screwed; he has no job and no money right now, so it's not like he can just up and leave. I hope that maybe he can sell a few things and get the hell out of there. He deserves much better than that!

Ok crusty you're right, your advice is wise and worldly. You might try to cover up the treadmarks a little more gracefully next time tho.

 

[jaeger66]

Originally posted by: MichaelD


I have been in the situation that I lost my job and suddenly things got real bad. I tend to think that she's being abusive b/c she knows he's screwed; he has no job and no money right now, so it's not like he can just up and leave.

That, actually, was part of her rationalization. That she was tired of just getting by every month and here was some new guy without all that baggage...but she ended up forming an emotional attachment to a guy who didn't give a rat's ass about her. It's like the only reason I found out was that she was JEALOUS that the guy she was cheating on me with was cheating on her right in front of her face. How's that for irony?

It would almost be easier if she just screwed him, then I could say she just wanted physical pleasure. But what did she get out of this that was worth the inevitable fallout?

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: jjsole

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: jjsole sorry to hear about it. something like this brings new meaning to 'ignorance is bliss' because its pain like that where you can crave to have the days of ignorance back. just a few thoughts... First of all you gave MichaelD deserved credit for being right, only to have him respond with more jibberish that's complete bs and unfounded. His presumptions are not necessarily 'facts' but again show his aged bitterness so end your reverence now! in one regard, its 'only' selfishness that happened, not an intentional disrespect. it could have happened to you at some point in the future too, even tho you didn't partake before. Its disgusting that it happened but its the oldest thing in the book that people stumble on. If you cheated would that mean you didn't love your SO? not necessarily. Is it possible that in the future you could be in a vulnerable place with a hot babe and wind up cheating? probably. immediately dumping someone of 4 years doesn't always make sense because now the truth is out...there's no such thing as good girls or bad girls (or guys), either can fail if in a very tempting situation. happens to trash but also happens to pastors who seek to lead a clean life etc. Dump one and you have the same risks with another. I wouldn't necessarily encourage staying with her either but I think her response to your pain is very important. If she feels it and is sincerely sorry and heartbroken and is consoling etc., then there might be hope. If she's a hardass about it or seeks to justify it or wants to protect herself from criticism or acts like you're overreacting, its over, and it may have happened previously, but even if not, there wouldn't be much to prevent it from happening again. hang in there. (and pray for peace, you may get some, seriously!)

What I say is fact based on my own personal experiences; and I can tell you I've been around the block. You sound like some sort of namby-pamby, half-assed counselor or something. "Her response to your pain is important." Are you always this stupid or is today a special occassion? Her response? How about her response to having some guy's organ halfway down her throat? That's not important anymore b/c she "feels badly", right?

I tell you what, there's a BIG difference b/t my GF/SO saying "I went out with the girls, had one too many and I sucked face w/this guy, but that's alll that happened" AND "I was hanging out w/Paul from work...we started kissing then I sucked him off...I'm real sorry about that." Big difference, buddy. I have been in the situation that I lost my job and suddenly things got real bad. I tend to think that she's being abusive b/c she knows he's screwed; he has no job and no money right now, so it's not like he can just up and leave. I hope that maybe he can sell a few things and get the hell out of there. He deserves much better than that!

Ok crusty you're right, your advice is wise and worldly. You might try to cover up the treadmarks a little more gracefully next time tho.

Yes....I still have egg on my face from that one. Never again, though!!! "We won't get fooled again..."

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: jaeger66

Originally posted by: MichaelD


I have been in the situation that I lost my job and suddenly things got real bad. I tend to think that she's being abusive b/c she knows he's screwed; he has no job and no money right now, so it's not like he can just up and leave.

That, actually, was part of her rationalization. That she was tired of just getting by every month and here was some new guy without all that baggage...but she ended up forming an emotional attachment to a guy who didn't give a rat's ass about her. It's like the only reason I found out was that she was JEALOUS that the guy she was cheating on me with was cheating on her right in front of her face. How's that for irony?

It would almost be easier if she just screwed him, then I could say she just wanted physical pleasure. But what did she get out of this that was worth the inevitable fallout?

That is very ironic, indeed. But what does that tell YOU, my friend?

I'll help you out. She was jealous that he was cheating w/someone else, right? Where are you in that picture? Correct; you're not in there, at ALL! :Q Mentally, she's already moved on. I hope you can do the same.

 

[Miramonti]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: jaeger66

Originally posted by: MichaelD I have been in the situation that I lost my job and suddenly things got real bad. I tend to think that she's being abusive b/c she knows he's screwed; he has no job and no money right now, so it's not like he can just up and leave.

That, actually, was part of her rationalization. That she was tired of just getting by every month and here was some new guy without all that baggage...but she ended up forming an emotional attachment to a guy who didn't give a rat's ass about her. It's like the only reason I found out was that she was JEALOUS that the guy she was cheating on me with was cheating on her right in front of her face. How's that for irony? It would almost be easier if she just screwed him, then I could say she just wanted physical pleasure. But what did she get out of this that was worth the inevitable fallout?

That is very ironic, indeed. But what does that tell YOU, my friend? I'll help you out. She was jealous that he was cheating w/someone else, right? Where are you in that picture? Correct; you're not in there, at ALL! :Q Mentally, she's already moved on. I hope you can do the same.

sounds more like an affair than a one time thing...."emotional attachment" unfortunately sounds like an incomplete explanation.

 

[jaeger66]

Originally posted by: MichaelD



That is very ironic, indeed. But what does that tell YOU, my friend?

I'll help you out. She was jealous that he was cheating w/someone else, right? Where are you in that picture? Correct; you're not in there, at ALL! :Q Mentally, she's already moved on. I hope you can do the same.

I guess, in a nutshell, that's what hurts the most. That for 10 minutes or whatever she was able to forget about me. I was the one who put up with her bi-weekly emotional crises, I was the one who took her out of her Mom's house into a home of her own, I was the one who fixed things when they broke, did ALL the work on buying a house and finding a mortgages...she is anot a girl who can live on her own so I took on all the responsibility of being adults...and somehow swallowing some dipsh*t's tool in a parked car was more important than all of that. This guy was SOOOO great that he deserved no-strings attached knob polishings. I mean she was walking around this house with his...in her stomach...oh dear lord.

 

[jaeger66]

Originally posted by: jjsole


sounds more like an affair than a one time thing...."emotional attachment" unfortunately sounds like an incomplete explanation.

Well they did it several times, although the flirting went on for months before. Emotional attachment is just my view, I guess what I mean was that she thought he cared about her.

 

[DamageInc]

Jaeger, I feel for you, man. That's fvcking horrible.

Things to do:
1. Dump her now.
2. Listen to some Metallica. It helps.

 

[Red Dawn]

Man just thinking of some other guys balls bouncing off her chin would send me over the edge.:evil:

 

[GTaudiophile]

Sorry to hear that, mate!

Women: can't live without them, can't shoot them!

*GTa <-- Has been crushed a few times!

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: GTaudiophile
Sorry to hear that, mate!

Women: can't live without them, can't shoot them!

*GTa <-- Has been crushed a few times!

Hmm, shootings' a bit harsh. I prefer the more factual:

Women: You can't live with them and you can't have heterosexual relations without them.

 

[Azraele]

Sorry to hear what happened. What she did was thoughtless, selfish, and wrong. There really are no words of comfort I can offer, other than that it will get better. Life can teach harsh lessons, but do not let such lessons be your sole guide. Better things can come of the ashes of the old.

Think things through. Take your time.


Were it me, I would have a hard time leaving, but in the end, I do not think I could stay in a relationship with no trust.

 

[Feldenak]

Originally posted by: DamageInc
Jaeger, I feel for you, man. That's fvcking horrible.

Things to do:
1. Dump her now.
2. Listen to some Metallica. It helps.

Well, the situation sucks but some of us have been there. Really there's nothing we can do except sympathize. The relationship I was in before I met my fiance ended along those lines. Everyone's different but what worked for me was friends, booze and music. Large quantities of alcohol, Pink Floyd and Metallica played at disgustingly loud volumes, and some great friends to keep you at least borderline sane.

Like I said, I really can't do anything significant from behind a monitor screen, but send me a PM if you need.

 

[jaeger66]

Originally posted by: Azraele
Sorry to hear what happened. What she did was thoughtless, selfish, and wrong. There really are no words of comfort I can offer, other than that it will get better. Life can teach harsh lessons, but do not let such lessons be your sole guide. Better things can come of the ashes of the old.

Think things through. Take your time.


Were it me, I would have a hard time leaving, but in the end, I do not think I could stay in a relationship with no trust.

Thanks. There will be no happy end...if I go it will mean saying goodbye to the person who brought me some of the only happy times in my life. There was so much good we had that I can't imagine ever finding again. If I stay, we'll always have this horrible memory to repress. I don't know yet how I want this to happen...I can't think straight from the shock.

7 years ago my best friend, who I knew for 16 years, shot himself. No warning, nothing. And I thought that if I could get through that I could get through anything. I hope the pain I'm going through now will fade as that tragic even did as well.

 

[Feldenak]

Originally posted by: jaeger66

Originally posted by: Azraele
Sorry to hear what happened. What she did was thoughtless, selfish, and wrong. There really are no words of comfort I can offer, other than that it will get better. Life can teach harsh lessons, but do not let such lessons be your sole guide. Better things can come of the ashes of the old.

Think things through. Take your time.


Were it me, I would have a hard time leaving, but in the end, I do not think I could stay in a relationship with no trust.

Thanks. There will be no happy end...if I go it will mean saying goodbye to the person who brought me some of the only happy times in my life. There was so much good we had that I can't imagine ever finding again. If I stay, we'll always have this horrible memory to repress. I don't know yet how I want this to happen...I can't think straight from the shock.

7 years ago my best friend, who I knew for 16 years, shot himself. No warning, nothing. And I thought that if I could get through that I could get through anything. I hope the pain I'm going through now will fade as that tragic even did as well.

You will get over her. Trust me. There are some damn fine women out there who are worthy of your trust. Your current is nothing more than a two-bit tramp. Sorry if that's a bit harsh, but I have no tolerance for cheaters.

 

[jaeger66]

Originally posted by: Feldenak


Well, the situation sucks but some of us have been there. Really there's nothing we can do except sympathize. The relationship I was in before I met my fiance ended along those lines. Everyone's different but what worked for me was friends, booze and music. Large quantities of alcohol, Pink Floyd and Metallica played at disgustingly loud volumes, and some great friends to keep you at least borderline sane.

Like I said, I really can't do anything significant from behind a monitor screen, but send me a PM if you need.

Yeah, I need to be numb for a while or I'll just totally lose it. Type O Negative's "Kill You Tonight" and some Vicodin should do it. It was for my tooth, but what the hell. Unfortunately I'm 2,000 miles from my hometown so I don't have friends here close enough to help me through this.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: Feldenak

Originally posted by: jaeger66

Originally posted by: Azraele
Sorry to hear what happened. What she did was thoughtless, selfish, and wrong. There really are no words of comfort I can offer, other than that it will get better. Life can teach harsh lessons, but do not let such lessons be your sole guide. Better things can come of the ashes of the old.

Think things through. Take your time.


Were it me, I would have a hard time leaving, but in the end, I do not think I could stay in a relationship with no trust.

Thanks. There will be no happy end...if I go it will mean saying goodbye to the person who brought me some of the only happy times in my life. There was so much good we had that I can't imagine ever finding again. If I stay, we'll always have this horrible memory to repress. I don't know yet how I want this to happen...I can't think straight from the shock.

7 years ago my best friend, who I knew for 16 years, shot himself. No warning, nothing. And I thought that if I could get through that I could get through anything. I hope the pain I'm going through now will fade as that tragic even did as well.

You will get over her. Trust me. There are some damn fine women out there who are worthy of your trust. Your current is nothing more than a two-bit tramp. Sorry if that's a bit harsh, but I have no tolerance for cheaters.

Well said. Jaeger66, you'll get over it in time. Right now and for quite some time, you're gonna be hurting and really frickin' pissed off at the world; that's natural. Down the road, in the long run, you'll be a healthy, happy and productive person again. You'll see.