rational decision is to dump that b!tch, wash your hands of anything to do with her and move on with your life.
so basically... dump her, mope for a few days, watch swingers, feel better
rational decision is to dump that b!tch, wash your hands of anything to do with her and move on with your life.
so basically... dump her, mope for a few days, watch swingers, feel better
Whether his family is full of cops or not, don't do something stupid. He wasn't the one that forced her to do it. He is just as guilty as she is for the act, but her willingness to do it and her actually going through with it should make you want to focus more on her than him. Have a nice long talk with her NOW. While your feelings are the way they are. Don't put it off. Talk to her NOW and lay down the law. Either she shapes up or leave the relationship (I would highly suggest the latter).
Oh, I blame her...don't get me wrong. How could she just...do this without a second thought? Like it was all a game?But this guy is a real slime. He took advantage of some insecurities to get what he wanted and then tossed her aside.
Schadenfreude
Lifer
- Dec 28, 2001
- 11,391
- 3
- 0
Yeah - there's women everywhere . . . as soon as you can, pack your things and get out. I'm sure you have a friend's you can crash in for a few nights if you need.
First and foremost, you should break it up with her and then calm down, and think of the next logical step.
First and foremost, you should break it up with her and then calm down, and think of the next logical step.
No, I won't do anyting stupid. I'm just venting my anger. We've talked..but it seems like I just keep thinking of new ways to feel worse so it never helps. I'm hoping I get to a point where I've let it all out and then I can decidehow to proceed without all this pain clouding my judgement.
I need something to fill my thoughts...otherwise I'm afraid I'll go insane just playing that scene in my mind. Even if we do break up, how the hell am I ever going to trust anyone ever again?
It seems rough. It seems impossible. But trust me, you will.
--haha, trust me... lol.Anyway, trust is something that you CAN rebuild in someone. Trust is something that can be re-established. It will just take MUCH longer to establish it.
Schadenfreude
Lifer
- Dec 28, 2001
- 11,391
- 3
- 0
As much as it sucks for me to tell you this, that's something you're going to figure out yourself.
What REALLY pisses me off is that a few years ago she sort of thought I was cheating. And I could have, with a girl I was doing some work with. Anytime I wanted she was there. But I didn't, I didn't even come close even though I was a little tempted.
Complete cure:
1) Get a bottle of vodka.
2) Drink it all
3) Go round the other guys house and break the empty bottle over his head (Taxi)
4) Chuck your girlfriend out
5) Go to a club/whatever (see old co-worker?)
6) Get laid.
1) Get a bottle of vodka.
2) Drink it all
3) Go round the other guys house and break the empty bottle over his head (Taxi)
4) Chuck your girlfriend out
5) Go to a club/whatever (see old co-worker?)
6) Get laid.
man i know exactly how you feel about playing the scene over... my ex gf tortured me once by telling me exactly how many times she had blown her new bf (it was a large number given the number of days they had been together). did wonders for my academics actually... turn it to something positive, bury yourself in something to forget about it
IMHO, you should break up with her. There are the obvious reasons like you probably will never trust her, dealing with the co-worker, etc.
The one reason that I would look at is that it sounds like she told you about her infidelity not to long after it happened. If she was serious about your relationship, more likely than not, she would not have told you because she knew it would have screwed you emotionally. She would have dealt with the guilt and remorse and kept quiet. It's harder to keep something like that to yourself rather than get it off of your chest and feel better about it while the other person feels that s/he's just been stabbed in the heart.
Dump her big time.
The one reason that I would look at is that it sounds like she told you about her infidelity not to long after it happened. If she was serious about your relationship, more likely than not, she would not have told you because she knew it would have screwed you emotionally. She would have dealt with the guilt and remorse and kept quiet. It's harder to keep something like that to yourself rather than get it off of your chest and feel better about it while the other person feels that s/he's just been stabbed in the heart.
Dump her big time.
That's an issue...it only ended because she was basically forced to and not because she wanted to. I found out about it about a week after the last encounter. He sent her an email telling her how great it was...she saved it. She says she felt terribly guilty, but the complete lack of hesitation on her part, saving hte email, and the multiple 3 minute dates tell me otherwise.
MichaelD
Lifer
- Jan 16, 2001
- 31,528
- 3
- 76
Originally posted by: GoodToGo
Ouch, that sucks dude
And when was MichaelD wrong? :beer:
Thank you.
Jaeger66,
I'm real sorry to hear this, man. That just sucks...what a bitch. I'll say this though: Knowing she "completed the act" you better not kiss her goodbye! :Q
Sorry...you know me; gotta throw that "jab" in there no matter what.
Four years is a long, long time. Ironically, I was in a very similar situation a long time ago. 1986, to be exact. My HS GF and I had been together almost four years. I had a feeling she was cheating, as she was never home anymore and her friends would all play ignorant.
One Friday night, I parked down at the end of her block. I saw this car pull up to her house, she got in. I followed them to OUR makeout spot. :disgust:
I watched from a distance as they got in the back seat, the clothes came off and then proceeded to watch his ass pumping up and down thru the back window.
I got out of my car, walked over to his car, and gently rapped on the window. I said "Hey there, I hope you have a nice life" and I walked off. Of course, I then proceeded to get rip roaring drunk and speed all over town...thank God I didn't hurt anyone. That was a loooong time ago.
I feel your pain, believe me. What happened to you is NOT the way you want to break up. And you really, really HAVE TO dump her ass.
I can tell you this:
1. It was not the first time she's cheated on you..no matter what she tells you
2. She'll do it again. And again
3. You need to put her out at the curb with the rest of your recycleables.
Good luck. PM me if necessary; I'm here for you.
Originally posted by: jaeger66
Originally posted by: gopunk
man i know exactly how you feel about playing the scene over... my ex gf tortured me once by telling me exactly how many times she had blown her new bf (it was a large number given the number of days they had been together). did wonders for my academics actually... turn it to something positive, bury yourself in something to forget about it
Well, another not insignificant problem is that I lost my job as a DB programmer about 6 weeks ago so all I do all day is sit here and stare at the wall. So in less than 2 months I'm looking at losing my job, the only girl I've ever loved, my home, and everything I put into this relationship. I mean, SOMETHING good has to happen soon!
Nothing good is gonna happen from staying with someone you cannot trust anymore.
MichaelD
Lifer
- Jan 16, 2001
- 31,528
- 3
- 76
Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1
Originally posted by: jaeger66
Originally posted by: gopunk
man i know exactly how you feel about playing the scene over... my ex gf tortured me once by telling me exactly how many times she had blown her new bf (it was a large number given the number of days they had been together). did wonders for my academics actually... turn it to something positive, bury yourself in something to forget about it
Well, another not insignificant problem is that I lost my job as a DB programmer about 6 weeks ago so all I do all day is sit here and stare at the wall. So in less than 2 months I'm looking at losing my job, the only girl I've ever loved, my home, and everything I put into this relationship. I mean, SOMETHING good has to happen soon!
Nothing good is gonna happen from staying with someone you cannot trust anymore.
I agree with the alien 100%. Dump her with vicious hatred. Don't be nice about it and certainly don't listen to a word she says. Dump her ass with extreme prejudice! :|
I have been fortunate to never have had this particular nightmare happen to me, but I have someone who use to be a pretty good friend that went through this and all I have to say is dump her and do it quick before forgiveness makes you do something stupid and accept her back into your affections. My friend actually got quite use to having his wife leave him for a week or a month (while she wanted to go whore around). He knew she was doing it and he got all wierd about it. He would spy on her all the time and try to involve me in his plans. He really flipped out. She finally left him for good (and good and screwed up).
My thoughts on this matter: If she was capable of doing this for whatever reason, then she is capable of doing it again and you would be fooling yourself not to fully believe it. Infidelity in a long-term relationship is more often than not a fatal blow. It may take some time for the wound to fester and make the relationship unhealthy but it more often than not does. Save your heart and your mind the damage and sever the emotional strings now, mourn your loss and go forward with your life and realize this. There are other women out there who would never cheat on you. Look for someone with confidence and stability. Someone who isn't vain about their looks, but isn't insecure about them either. The happier someone is with themselves the more capable they are of sustaining a deep and meaningful relationship and of resisting natural temptations.
Sorry for the long ramble, but I sure hate seeing people going through this.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do though...........
My thoughts on this matter: If she was capable of doing this for whatever reason, then she is capable of doing it again and you would be fooling yourself not to fully believe it. Infidelity in a long-term relationship is more often than not a fatal blow. It may take some time for the wound to fester and make the relationship unhealthy but it more often than not does. Save your heart and your mind the damage and sever the emotional strings now, mourn your loss and go forward with your life and realize this. There are other women out there who would never cheat on you. Look for someone with confidence and stability. Someone who isn't vain about their looks, but isn't insecure about them either. The happier someone is with themselves the more capable they are of sustaining a deep and meaningful relationship and of resisting natural temptations.
Sorry for the long ramble, but I sure hate seeing people going through this.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do though...........
flavio
Diamond Member
- Oct 9, 1999
- 6,823
- 1
- 76
Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get angry like you should be. It sounds like you live together? Be smart and cover your bases financially, get things setup so you can get the hell away from her or better yet kick her the hell out, call in friends if need be.
Then get one last piece of ass before you leave, when your done toss down 42 cents on the table and say "that should about cover it, now get the fsck out".
Then get one last piece of ass before you leave, when your done toss down 42 cents on the table and say "that should about cover it, now get the fsck out".
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