LOL...I love bash.org

[weovpac]

#853555 +(1970)- [X]

<Taki> I swear I just took a dump with well defined anatomical features
<Taki> a long smooth tail and a bunch of little hardened pellets making up a complex head
<Taki> I didn't want to flush it, it's probably the closest thing I'll have to a son
<bryant> I think in the 3 days I've seen you in this channel you've done a better job keeping me in school and off drugs than every authority figure I've met in my entire life.
<Taki> I do what I can

#853345 +(1029)- [X]

<DaMouse> HP should make weaponry
<zid`> nah
<zid`> the ammo would cost more than the gun

 

[Born2bwire]

I miss Lowbrow somewhat.

Moving from Cambridge to my own apartment (finally!) in a street of duplexes in Somerville, my friend Gorindar helps me with the heavy stuff.

As we're carrying furniture in across the lawn, we see several neighbour's curtains rustling. We're being watched.

On the next trip, we gather five of Gorindar's friends. They all put turbans and those white pajama things on.

When we get to Somerville, they pile out of the truck, talking Hindu at the tops of their lungs, and run up and down the driveway carrying stuff in at top speed. Lots of fun.

After a few days, one of my new neighbours finally works up enough nerve to ask if I am living alone.

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: BlinderBomber
my favorite:

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

OK...I guess I'll come clean and admit I've never gotten that one. What am I missing? I know it must be something obvious, but...

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Originally posted by: jagec

Originally posted by: BlinderBomber
my favorite:

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

OK...I guess I'll come clean and admit I've never gotten that one. What am I missing? I know it must be something obvious, but...

Its just as you see it. The guy came in, insulted everyone, and then said that it was accidental.

Its like me going into a Board meetings shouting "FUCK YOU ALL", then sitting down calmly and saying that I misspoke.

 

[Fenixgoon]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
I don't know why but this always pops first in my head when I think of Bash

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

:laugh: That site is the antithesis to oldsmoboat's law.

i don't get it

 

[bGIveNs33]

Originally posted by: Fenixgoon

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
I don't know why but this always pops first in my head when I think of Bash

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

:laugh: That site is the antithesis to oldsmoboat's law.

i don't get it

For those that don't get this one... imagine it like this. Have you ever walked into the middle of a conversation and taken something COMPLETELY out of context because you weren't around for the beginning? That is what Beefpile did...

Start of the conversation....

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right

** Enters Beefpile

<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time

**Beefpile leaves and says "sick fuckers"

I don't really want to spell out what was sick about it, but just imagine a typical "at the computer activity" that could explode and make a mess.

 

[Phokus]

Originally posted by: Fenixgoon

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
I don't know why but this always pops first in my head when I think of Bash

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

:laugh: That site is the antithesis to oldsmoboat's law.

i don't get it

How the hell are you guys not getting this joke?

 

[Kirby64]

Originally posted by: Phokus

Originally posted by: Fenixgoon

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
I don't know why but this always pops first in my head when I think of Bash

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

:laugh: That site is the antithesis to oldsmoboat's law.

i don't get it

How the hell are you guys not getting this joke?

I'm sure the reason is due to the fact that they never participate in such activity and thus would have no experience in this matter.











AHAHAHAHA Who am I kidding? Nah, they just must be dense.

 

[AbAbber2k]

Originally posted by: LeetViet
I prefer grouphug.us

God it's like watching a car accident... only with each passing second I can feel myself turning more and more emo. That's about enough of that I think.

 

[puffff]

COMRED> A trichinosis larva and a botfly maggot walk into a bar. The botfly maggot turns to the trichinosis larva and says "hey buddy, I heard you like pork." The trichonosis larva looks the the botfly maggot right in the spiracles and says "indeed, I encyst upon it."
<COMRED> Hahah. You get it? It's a homonymn.
<COMRED> fuck you all.


the random link can turn up some really random stuff!

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Wheezer

Originally posted by: amjohns5

Originally posted by: KB
I love bash.org.. almost as much I love bloodninja http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/bloodninja

ROFLLMAO!@!!

This is my favorite bloodninja

How old is this stuff? I must have been asleep when the internet was happening.

 

[bGIveNs33]

couple of my favorites-

<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a fucken impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally


<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...


This one kills me everytime-

<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering wise and beautiful woman.
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window
<d|syztem> what the FUCK

<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section

[Turtle] hmm
[Turtle] ctfmon.exe
[Turtle] no jamacians capturing any flags on my computer that i know of

<kats`awake> sometimes when i masturbate i look up at my hand and say gg


LOL... just found this one-

After fatal school shooting in Littleton Colorado, 4/20/99
[18:38] <THE_RAY> Any people from the school in here?
[18:39] <scitz0> oh yah i got home from the shooting and "logged on" you idiot
[18:39] <PunCHie> i got shot in the head 4 times.. but i'm okay..

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Phokus

Originally posted by: Fenixgoon

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
I don't know why but this always pops first in my head when I think of Bash

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

:laugh: That site is the antithesis to oldsmoboat's law.

i don't get it

How the hell are you guys not getting this joke?

i agree...makes sense to me first time through. I LoL'ded

 

[SirStev0]

pretty sure bloodninja was originally a bash.org bit.

 

[JJChicken]

random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye

:laugh:

 

[CptCrunch]

Some of my favorites:

<BronsonTheBeef> So we were supposed to have a guest speaker in one of my classes
<BronsonTheBeef> to talk about diversity and racism and shit today
<BronsonTheBeef> prof's never met him..
<BronsonTheBeef> in walks this super black gangsta ghetto dude
<BronsonTheBeef> he's got a 'pimp' chain around his neck, wearing FUBU everything
<BronsonTheBeef> has a gold watch and a ring on each finger, smells like pot and beer
<BronsonTheBeef> he even had a do-rag on and a cigarrette tucked behind his ear
<BronsonTheBeef> walks in in true rapper style flashing his crazy ghetto signs at us
<BronsonTheBeef> the prof's like...'are you... jeff?'
<BronsonTheBeef> he goes 'true dat, ho' and says 'you all my niggaz!' and he turns in a circle
<BronsonTheBeef> waving his arms in the air singing about 'niggaz in 'da house' or some shit
<BronsonTheBeef> so she tells him to give his speech on diversity and shit
<BronsonTheBeef> and he starts talkin about 'the man' and how 'white folk be dissin'
<BronsonTheBeef> then like a minute later this other black dude runs in dressed in a suit
<BronsonTheBeef> and says 'sorry I'm late'
<BronsonTheBeef> it turns out the first black dude was just baked. he doesn't even go to college
<BronsonTheBeef> he just wanted to buy weed in the dorms

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^

<DmncAtrny> I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING."
<DmncAtrny> And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer
<DmncAtrny> and run like hell

<Stormrider> I should bomb something
<Stormrider> ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
<Stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
<Elzie_Ann> I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
<FBI> We saw it anyway.
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

 

[Fritzo]

Sounds made up, but it could be a sit-com script

 

[sdifox]

once in a while I'll read the whole top 100 again...


all time favorite


<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> fucking ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was




this one is interesting

<Axe> I
<Axe> do
<Axe> not
<Axe> know
<Axe> where
<Axe> family
<Axe> doctors
<Axe> acquired
<Axe> illegibly
<Axe> perplexing
<Axe> handwriting;
<Axe> nevertheless,
<Axe> extraordinary
<Axe> pharmaceutical
<Axe> intellectuality,
<Axe> counterbalancing
<Axe> indecipherability,
<Axe> transcendentalizes
<Axe> intercommunications'
<Axe> incomprehensibleness.
<JediHobbes> woah
<JediHobbes> *blinks*


Best retort

<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants

 

[Chiropteran]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
I don't know why but this always pops first in my head when I think of Bash

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

:laugh: That site is the antithesis to oldsmoboat's law.

The OP quote sounded fake and wasn't all that funny to me, but this one is hilarious.

 

[sdifox]

Originally posted by: SirStev0
pretty sure bloodninja was originally a bash.org bit.

you mean this?

Text

 

[TecHNooB]

Too funny ^_^

 

[Nerva]

too bad bash is blocked at work for me

 

[ViviTheMage]

sooo funny

 

[Pshawn5]

damn they blocked bash.org at work recently. dammit!

 

[LordSnailz]

tagged