lock please

[DougK62]

Originally posted by: tcsenter

You're an idiot.

Hey, it wasn't my girlfriend who went to lunch with this guy she doesn't want to give the impression that she likes <wink wink>. That idiot would be none other than you.

That's harrassment [sic]. Looking up her schedule (that only managers are supposed to see) is borderline stalking. Harassment is defined as any action that makes another coworker feel uncomfortable, she was being harassed and was justified in filing a complaint.

Actually, its not. A lot of people feel "uncomfortable" by virtually anything because they're paranoid, have emotional or psychological problems, have prejudices or unreasonable expectations. Therefore, the mere fact that I make you uncomfortable cannot be harassment. Also, the mere fact that I may be flirtatious with a woman also does not constitute harassment.

There must be pervasive advances which have a SEVERE affect on the ability of the employee to do their job or their psychological well-being, which according to nik's description has not remotely occurred, hence my reason for detailing precisely the "offenses" this guy has committed, none of which are particularly offensive nor run afoul of harassment or stalking laws.

I mean, if this guy is so offensive to her, why on earth would she go to lunch with him? When your actions say one thing, and your boyfriend says another, well we know just how 'offensive' she "really" finds this guy...eh?

Very well put - I agree completely. This guy just seems to be one of the millions of moronic men that treat women like poo. nik- you are overreacting. And calling someone an idiot for posting his opinion on a subject that YOU posted on a PUBLIC forum is pretty silly

 

[Rainsford]

Here's my suggestion. He should take the hint with the manager talking to him at work, and unless he's a total fool he'll realize that he has no chance with your girlfriend and back off. If he approaches her at all outside of work, try to get a restraining order. If he does it at work, let the manager know and I bet this guy will be out of there in no time flat.

But some guys just can't take a hint, and to protect against that, I'd get her a taser or mace or something. Most people get a lot less brave when faced with actual harm, it's easy to pick on a girl, but a girl with mace is a whole other story.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: Beau6183

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
Well, the only other one is in downtown Portland which is 15/20 miles or so east and isn't really much an option. There are similar restaurants around, though. But I also agree that he shouldn't be allowed to run her life, which is what he'd be doing if she gets a new job. Even still, it's up to Chelsea. The only violent thing that has come from him is his threat toward me. If he's willing to hurt me to get her, he obviously doesn't respect her enough to not hurt her, though. So who knows.

nik

One splash of that spray, and he'll have a new found respect for anything you want him to

Yeah, after he gets out of the emergency room.

nik

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: tcsenter

You're an idiot.

Hey, it wasn't my girlfriend who went to lunch with this guy she doesn't want to give the impression that she likes <wink wink>. That idiot would be none other than you.

That's harrassment [sic]. Looking up her schedule (that only managers are supposed to see) is borderline stalking. Harassment is defined as any action that makes another coworker feel uncomfortable, she was being harassed and was justified in filing a complaint.

Actually, its not. A lot of people feel "uncomfortable" by virtually anything because they're paranoid, have emotional or psychological problems, have prejudices or unreasonable expectations. Therefore, the mere fact that I make you uncomfortable cannot be harassment. Also, the mere fact that I may be flirtatious with a woman also does not constitute harassment.

There must be pervasive advances which have a SEVERE affect on the ability of the employee to do their job or their psychological well-being, which according to nik's description has not remotely occurred, hence my reason for detailing precisely the "offenses" this guy has committed, none of which are particularly offensive nor run afoul of harassment or stalking laws.

I mean, if this guy is so offensive to her, why on earth would she go to lunch with him? When your actions say one thing, and your boyfriend says another, well we know just how 'offensive' she "really" finds this guy...eh?

She went to lunch with him before the sh|t hit the fan.

nik

 

[BoberFett]

Ever think maybe you need to worry less about your girlfriend and more about growing up, tough guy? Always wanting to kick somebody's ass. Tsk, tsk.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: BoberFett
Ever think maybe you need to worry less about your girlfriend and more about growing up, tough guy? Always wanting to kick somebody's ass. Tsk, tsk.

Yeah, cuz I'm all about talking about kicking his ass and not the least concerned with keeping the girl safe

WTF... you guys just like pushing buttons or something?

nik

 

[GL]

Those damn hispanics and dark-skinned types eh guys?:disgust:

 

[Brutuskend]

That's messed up dude!

I'm sure that anything I could suggest has already been posted.

Hopefully his fear of losing his job, will over ride his testosterone........

 

[tcsenter]

Yeah, cuz I'm all about talking about kicking his ass and not the least concerned with keeping the girl safe...WTF... you guys just like pushing buttons or something?

It sounds more like you want to ensure that nobody moves in on your 'property' more than you're concerned about her well being. You are either her father, or her boyfriend, but you can't be both, and unless I'm mistaken, she already has a father, no?

If your GF is even remotely un-hideous, she will spend the next 30 years having to deal with men hitting on her about every other day. Are you going to beat them all up?

If she has not already come to terms with this fact of life and learned to be a big girl who can speak and act on her own behalf or acts like a helpless damsel in distress every time she receives unwanted attention, then she is a child who isn't mature enough to handle adulthood and thus shouldn't be allowed to leave the house without supervision.

 

[Geekbabe]

Nik,

First off I hope Chels doesn't have any further problems with this guy.

A couple of questions though

When he asked her out to lunch why didn't she just say "thank you but no, I have a boyfriend" ? it's not like they're doing the type of
work that requires collaboration via working lunches.

Number 2 while looking up people's schedules in order to stalk them isn't ok, the schedule at my job is freely available to all employees, lol,it's the most well worn document in the place as people reference to see who isn't working so they can try to get coverage for themselves for a day off, is doing that illegal where you are?



I think I'd just wait to see if the manager talking to this guy did the job,if I had any trouble after tha I'd just find myself another job
in the meantime she should make sure to park her car close to the restaurant in a well lit location and to always leave at the end of her shift with other people.

 

[DeafeningSilence]

Originally posted by: GL
Those damn hispanics and dark-skinned types eh guys?:disgust:

I assume you're taking offense at the stereotypes presented here, which is definitely understandable. But have any of you been to South America? Holy freakin' cow... "forward" or "agressive" doesn't even begin to describe the general male population (speaking from my experiences).

Anyway -- ffmcobalt, if you are getting this serious about protecting your girl, then she needs to get this serious about protecting herself. I'm not just talking about karate and pepper spray, I'm talking about her interaction with this guy. Not only should she be cold as ice to this guy, but she should openly talk about her loving, jealous boyfriend with violent tendencies and a rack of guns. Trust me on this one -- he needs to know she's serious before he's gonna take you seriously.

 

[weezergirl]

If I were your gf, and truly felt threatened by him, I would quit my job and work elsewhere. believe me, every restaurant is the SAME. if she's a good waitress she can work anywhere and get good money. it's not worth it if she feels that he is "dangerous".

just wondering but how does she feel about him? she should know best if she needs to worry about him or if he's just another one of those "dark skinned types" really, those guys are a dime a dozen. every restaurant has them and rarely are they actually dangerous stalker types. more likely just annoying guys who don't get the hint.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: baffled2
Nik,

First off I hope Chels doesn't have any further problems with this guy.

A couple of questions though

When he asked her out to lunch why didn't she just say "thank you but no, I have a boyfriend" ? it's not like they're doing the type of
work that requires collaboration via working lunches.

Number 2 while looking up people's schedules in order to stalk them isn't ok, the schedule at my job is freely available to all employees, lol,it's the most well worn document in the place as people reference to see who isn't working so they can try to get coverage for themselves for a day off, is doing that illegal where you are?



I think I'd just wait to see if the manager talking to this guy did the job,if I had any trouble after tha I'd just find myself another job
in the meantime she should make sure to park her car close to the restaurant in a well lit location and to always leave at the end of her shift with other people.

Baff, what's wrong with going to lunch with friends? She goes to lunch with people that we both know and people that only she knows. When she went to inspect the car that she recently bought, she picked up her roomie's boyfriend who is a mechanic. They're good friends. They were alone. There's nothing wrong with that, and it's the same situation (or so she thought at the time she went) when she went to lunch with him: a coworker wanting to do something after work with her. When she was in California, there was this guy she worked with (a looney fruitcake) who became one of her best friends. Granted, he was gay, but they did things together, and I don't see anything wrong with it.

From what she tells me (and I don't question my trust in her in the least), it was an innocent lunch with a growing friend. Now the guy's running around saying that she's interested in him and getting all worked up because she thinks she's going to leave me for him.

Well, from what I understand, the schedule is in an area where employees aren't supposed to be at all.

nik

 

[Tripleshot]

Its a macho thing for hispanic males. Most times it is harmless. He has been warned by his supervisor. He has been warned indirectly by Chelsea. Until and unless this young man persues further "harassment" then you should relax and go about your business. Nothing has been done that raises the level to the assertions and enuendo expressed in here so far. Latinos do act differently. It is cultural. If you find that threatening, then you got problems. Lots of different people have cultural differences. Understand them, and let it be.

If, on the otherhand, an overt action becomes "threatening" then law enforcement is the next logical and safe step in enterdiction.

Primarily, this is Chelseas problem. Ladies can take care of themselves much better than we males give them credit for. If she feels in eminate danger of leaving for the parking lot, two things should be done. First, she lets management know. They are responsible for her safety while at work, and they should be aware of what is going on. Anything less than responsible action on there part can leave them civily liable.
Second, you call a squad car if he is in the parking lot after work. The law knows what to do and they will damn sure do it.

Only failing that,should you even entertain getting personally envolved. It can get you hurt, her hurt, or them hurt, and when someone gets hurt, the law gets interested. Understand?

Now chill, and forget this testosterone nonsense.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Uh... nobody's itching to bust heads, here. I'm just getting her some pepper spray and inquiring about what else there is to do...

nik

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt

Originally posted by: baffled2
Nik,

First off I hope Chels doesn't have any further problems with this guy.

A couple of questions though

When he asked her out to lunch why didn't she just say "thank you but no, I have a boyfriend" ? it's not like they're doing the type of
work that requires collaboration via working lunches.

Number 2 while looking up people's schedules in order to stalk them isn't ok, the schedule at my job is freely available to all employees, lol,it's the most well worn document in the place as people reference to see who isn't working so they can try to get coverage for themselves for a day off, is doing that illegal where you are?



I think I'd just wait to see if the manager talking to this guy did the job,if I had any trouble after tha I'd just find myself another job
in the meantime she should make sure to park her car close to the restaurant in a well lit location and to always leave at the end of her shift with other people.

Baff, what's wrong with going to lunch with friends? She goes to lunch with people that we both know and people that only she knows. When she went to inspect the car that she recently bought, she picked up her roomie's boyfriend who is a mechanic. They're good friends. They were alone. There's nothing wrong with that, and it's the same situation (or so she thought at the time she went) when she went to lunch with him: a coworker wanting to do something after work with her. When she was in California, there was this guy she worked with (a looney fruitcake) who became one of her best friends. Granted, he was gay, but they did things together, and I don't see anything wrong with it.

From what she tells me (and I don't question my trust in her in the least), it was an innocent lunch with a growing friend. Now the guy's running around saying that she's interested in him and getting all worked up because she thinks she's going to leave me for him.

Well, from what I understand, the schedule is in an area where employees aren't supposed to be at all.

nik

I understand totally,my best friend is male.. I just wouldn't have gone if I were her after I'd heard he'd been telling people he had a crush on me, or if I did go I'd have let him know I already had a b/friend


At any rate, I think I'd just rela about this,wait and see if her manager talking to him did the job,if she still feels uncomfortable,I'd look for another job if I were her before I'd let my boyfriend possibly get seriously hurt or ruin his future because he accidently killed some moron he was just going to rough up to convince him to leave me alone.

 

[Lithium381]

Originally posted by: amnesiac 2.0
You know what's funny? I work at a restaurant (The Cheesecake Factory) and there's a crapload of sexual harassment that goes on there too. One of the bussers got canned just last week due to several complaints about sexual harassment! :Q And yes, he was hispanic. I tell you, the bussers and the guys in the kitchen are DIRTY and RUDE. I have nothing against hispanics but when all they do is talk trash about the women behind their backs as well as TO THEIR FACES (in Spanish) that makes me lose lots of respect for them.

Sorry to hear that Chelsea had to deal with that, Nik. If you need to round up a posse, count me in. Those kinds of guys make my fist itch.

yep, the kitchen guys where i work are also all hispanic.....they are also very dirty, heh, one or two anyways.....but they're funny.....i watch 'em a bit close when we have females on shift though....dunno why, i just do.......*shrug* no problems yet, and they don't talk dirty around the ladies, so i geuss they have a shred of dignity......they're basicly good guys, at least IMO.....

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

yeah, Baff, nobody's being serious when they're talking about physical abuse to the man in question. She told him that she would go, and she kept her word - which is admirable. She didn't feel comfortable, so she asked a few friends to come along with her, who ended up having to cancel per a mutual emergency. Apparently (new info), he told her that he would bring a friend and, of course, ended up alone. Honestly, if she had cancelled, I wouldn't have blamed her, but she was prepared not to be alone and just turned out that she was.

nik

 

[weezergirl]

Originally posted by: baffled2

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt

Originally posted by: baffled2
Nik,

First off I hope Chels doesn't have any further problems with this guy.

A couple of questions though

When he asked her out to lunch why didn't she just say "thank you but no, I have a boyfriend" ? it's not like they're doing the type of
work that requires collaboration via working lunches.

Number 2 while looking up people's schedules in order to stalk them isn't ok, the schedule at my job is freely available to all employees, lol,it's the most well worn document in the place as people reference to see who isn't working so they can try to get coverage for themselves for a day off, is doing that illegal where you are?



I think I'd just wait to see if the manager talking to this guy did the job,if I had any trouble after tha I'd just find myself another job
in the meantime she should make sure to park her car close to the restaurant in a well lit location and to always leave at the end of her shift with other people.

Baff, what's wrong with going to lunch with friends? She goes to lunch with people that we both know and people that only she knows. When she went to inspect the car that she recently bought, she picked up her roomie's boyfriend who is a mechanic. They're good friends. They were alone. There's nothing wrong with that, and it's the same situation (or so she thought at the time she went) when she went to lunch with him: a coworker wanting to do something after work with her. When she was in California, there was this guy she worked with (a looney fruitcake) who became one of her best friends. Granted, he was gay, but they did things together, and I don't see anything wrong with it.

From what she tells me (and I don't question my trust in her in the least), it was an innocent lunch with a growing friend. Now the guy's running around saying that she's interested in him and getting all worked up because she thinks she's going to leave me for him.

Well, from what I understand, the schedule is in an area where employees aren't supposed to be at all.

nik

I understand totally,my best friend is male.. I just wouldn't have gone if I were her after I'd heard he'd been telling people he had a crush on me, or if I did go I'd have let him know I already had a b/friend


At any rate, I think I'd just rela about this,wait and see if her manager talking to him did the job,if she still feels uncomfortable,I'd look for another job if I were her before I'd let my boyfriend possibly get seriously hurt or ruin his future because he accidently killed some moron he was just going to rough up to convince him to leave me alone.

I totally agree with Baffled. If i'm in a serious relationship with a guy and then some other guy, who i barely know except from work, suddenly wants to take me out for lunch?! i'd just be like no thanks, i have plans with my bf. it seems like she was kind of weary that the guy might have had other intentions from the start if she wanted to bring her other coworkers along too right??

my bf and i have NO problems if i go out to eat with a male friend by myself. but i think this is a different situation. doesn't sound like he was even a "friend" to begin with.

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: LordMaul
Come on Nik...I've got a ticket for 9:00. We'll give him some good ol' american assbeating. :|

nice, the good ole boys get together again, you guys in the same huntin club?

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: weezergirl

Originally posted by: baffled2

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt

Originally posted by: baffled2
Nik,

First off I hope Chels doesn't have any further problems with this guy.

A couple of questions though

When he asked her out to lunch why didn't she just say "thank you but no, I have a boyfriend" ? it's not like they're doing the type of
work that requires collaboration via working lunches.

Number 2 while looking up people's schedules in order to stalk them isn't ok, the schedule at my job is freely available to all employees, lol,it's the most well worn document in the place as people reference to see who isn't working so they can try to get coverage for themselves for a day off, is doing that illegal where you are?



I think I'd just wait to see if the manager talking to this guy did the job,if I had any trouble after tha I'd just find myself another job
in the meantime she should make sure to park her car close to the restaurant in a well lit location and to always leave at the end of her shift with other people.

Baff, what's wrong with going to lunch with friends? She goes to lunch with people that we both know and people that only she knows. When she went to inspect the car that she recently bought, she picked up her roomie's boyfriend who is a mechanic. They're good friends. They were alone. There's nothing wrong with that, and it's the same situation (or so she thought at the time she went) when she went to lunch with him: a coworker wanting to do something after work with her. When she was in California, there was this guy she worked with (a looney fruitcake) who became one of her best friends. Granted, he was gay, but they did things together, and I don't see anything wrong with it.

From what she tells me (and I don't question my trust in her in the least), it was an innocent lunch with a growing friend. Now the guy's running around saying that she's interested in him and getting all worked up because she thinks she's going to leave me for him.

Well, from what I understand, the schedule is in an area where employees aren't supposed to be at all.

nik

I understand totally,my best friend is male.. I just wouldn't have gone if I were her after I'd heard he'd been telling people he had a crush on me, or if I did go I'd have let him know I already had a b/friend


At any rate, I think I'd just rela about this,wait and see if her manager talking to him did the job,if she still feels uncomfortable,I'd look for another job if I were her before I'd let my boyfriend possibly get seriously hurt or ruin his future because he accidently killed some moron he was just going to rough up to convince him to leave me alone.

I totally agree with Baffled. If i'm in a serious relationship with a guy and then some other guy, who i barely know except from work, suddenly wants to take me out for lunch?! i'd just be like no thanks, i have plans with my bf. it seems like she was kind of weary that the guy might have had other intentions from the start if she wanted to bring her other coworkers along too right??

my bf and i have NO problems if i go out to eat with a male friend by myself. but i think this is a different situation. doesn't sound like he was even a "friend" to begin with.

A few days before her luncheon with the guy, she found out that he had a crush on her. It was then that she realized that she might be giving the wrong impression since a man who has had a lunch invite accepted by a woman he's interested in can potentially twist it into something untrue - like this guy thinking that she's going to leave me for him. But, she thought keeping her word was important (which it is) and thought that taking friends along might show that she didn't want to be alone with him.

nik

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: LordMaul
Come on Nik...I've got a ticket for 9:00. We'll give him some good ol' american assbeating. :|

nice, the good ole boys get together again, you guys in the same huntin club?

No, we don't have time to hunt. We're too busy fixing TheGeneralLee after jumping the creek bed every weekend.

nik

 

[Stark]

from what i've seen, you're going to find high sex-drives with employees in any trendy restaurant... or for that matter any job where young, unmarried people are grouped together.

The guy sounds like a dirtbag, but nothing to get too concerned over... at least not yet. if she ever feels threatened after a shift, have the manager/another waiter walk her to her car. If he makes things hard on her at work, all she has to do is go to the boss and the guy will be gone.

OSF has pretty high standards (unfortunately the servers down here all seem to suck) and it's a great college job. I'm sure they don't tolerate scumbag bussers who make the servers unhappy. plus, the mizithra cheeze is the bomb.

So don't kick his ass (yet) and don't tell her to quit.

 

[Legendary]

If he goes any further, fvck him up big time.
I work at Shoprite (if you don't have shoprites around, it's a grocery store). Lots of Hispanics work there. I speak Spanish pretty well for an Indian kid, and I see them talking about girls (cashiers) in front of their faces to the next bagger. I'd say something but I'm not confident enough in my Spanish to be sure I don't mistake one word for something else, but I'm pretty sure of what they're doing. Also I love Batman so I'm a big fan of vigilante justice

Just make sure she's protected in one way or another when you're not around. GL.

 

[eakers]

chances are now that the manager has talked to him about it he will stop. sometimes when guys like girls and girls dont like them back they purposely be jackasses just to get attention from her.

(ps: if something like this happened to me i hope my bf would get permission before posting it on a forum we both frequent)