Jew Jokes

[GodlessAstronomer]

OP needs a sense of jewmor.

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

Originally posted by: lifeobry

Originally posted by: biggestmuff

pssstt...the Pollock brought an electric razor to a fight. :Q

But I don't get why that's funny. Do Poles like electric goods over non-electric goods?

Yeah I don't get this either, but I don't know a thing about Polish people. I must be missing a stereotype.

 

[lxskllr]

Here's a 2fer...

Q: How do you take census in a Polish village?

A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and subtract one for the Jew who catches it.


:^P

 

[venkman]

He's a J-O-O

 

[Anubis]

humm so theres an entire thread in OT with jew jokes yet i get a mod warning for saying i was jewed out of something

yea that seems fucking fair

 

[BoomerD]

Little kid of mixed race came home one day and asked his mom,
"Am I more black or more Jewish?"

"I don't know...go ask your father," she replied

"Hey dad, am I more black or more Jewish?"


What? I don't know...What the hell difference does it make?" the dad replied.

"Well," the little kid says, "My friend Tommy has a bike for sale, and I don't know whether to talk him down on price...or just steal it."


Since some other rude, crude bastard already opened the Holocaust jokes...

Didja hear about the new German microwave oven? Seats 400.


I have tons of flat-out racist jokes that I've picked up over the years working with rednecks.
MOST would result in an instant vacation...or permaban, so I'll stop with those...and HOPE I don't get a spanking for the last one.


The Polish Joke...for youse Polacks who are too fucking dumb to understand...

A straight razor can be a beneficial tool in a fight...similar to pulling a knife.

The polack pulled an electric shaving razor...then had no place to plug it in. (from the days before cordless)

And yes, Polacks are picked on for being dumb...not just "not intelligent," but dumb.

 

[OCGuy]

No, they are jokes. Actual racism disturbs me, not joking about it.

Stereotypes are the funniest shit around.

 

[lifeobry]

Originally posted by: BoomerD

The Polish Joke...for youse Polacks who are too fucking dumb to understand...

A straight razor can be a beneficial tool in a fight...similar to pulling a knife.

The polack pulled an electric shaving razor...then had no place to plug it in. (from the days before cordless)

And yes, Polacks are picked on for being dumb...not just "not intelligent," but dumb.

Thanks for clarifying, I feel enriched.

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: lifeobry

Originally posted by: BoomerD

The Polish Joke...for youse Polacks who are too fucking dumb to understand...

A straight razor can be a beneficial tool in a fight...similar to pulling a knife.

The polack pulled an electric shaving razor...then had no place to plug it in. (from the days before cordless)

And yes, Polacks are picked on for being dumb...not just "not intelligent," but dumb.

Thanks for clarifying, I feel enriched.

As well you should, young jedi.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: lifeobry

Originally posted by: biggestmuff

pssstt...the Pollock brought an electric razor to a fight. :Q

But I don't get why that's funny. Do Poles like electric goods over non-electric goods?

The idea behind the joke is that Polish people tend to do somewhat stupid or impractical things.

My parents had a mug labeled "Polish Coffee Mug."

The handle was on the inside of it.

 

[PlasmaBomb]

Unstasteful

:laugh:

 

[PlasmaBomb]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: AVAFREAK182
Anyone else find jokes about Jews really just distasteful, hurtful, and just flat out rude?

I'm athiest and I even think they are just wrong.

/blog

No, because I'm not a pussy.
Those people endured thousands of years of horrible shit.
If they cant take a joke now, fuck em.

And if you dont like it, go be a slave for egypt and see if the jokes bother you after a while. I think you'll be more concerned with the whipping and working to death.

This is why Jews account for the majority of comedians and all-around funny people in the world.

next to the Irish, you can't find a more hilarious group of people.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities' brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman's or a Scotsman's brain could be bought for £500 but an Englishman's brain cost £10,000. That proves,' said The Englishman, 'that Englishmen are much cleverer than Irishmen or Scotsmen.'
'No it doesn't,' said The Irishman, 'it just means that an Englishman's brain has never been used.'

__________________________________

An Irish man is sitting a a bar drinking
A flamboyantly gay man comes up to him and asks, "Can I give you a blow job?"
The Irishman stands up and punches the gay man.
The bar tender comes over and asks, "Why did you hit that guy?"
The Irish man replied, "He said somethin about me gettin a job"

___________________________________

Three men walk into a bar: a Frenchman, an Italian and an Irishman. Each orders one beer. Three flys fly into the bar and one fly lands in each man's beer.

The Italian man plucks the fly out of his beer, says "tutto e bene" (all is well)" and drinks the beer.
The Frenchman shows his beer with the bug still inside it to the bartender and demands another beer.
The Irishman yanks the bug out of the beer, grabs it by it's wings, shakes it while yelling

"Cough it up, you wee theivin' bastard!"

 

[Possessed Freak]

I find this completely offensive. My grandpa died in a concentration camp... he fell out of a guard tower.

 

[techs]

I find your making up the word untasteful distasteful.

 

[ViviTheMage]

I like the funny ones

 

[destrekor]

I'm 50% German, 50% French, and 50% Polish.
I'm always at war with myself.

 

[BassBomb]

when its something like calling someone a jew for being cheap, that i do not like as that is NOT a joke, that is just wrong

when its actually a joke like say a rabbi and a preist walk into a bar... then i don't really care

 

[CRXican]

where da joke?

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Originally posted by: Possessed Freak
I find this completely offensive. My grandpa died in a concentration camp... he fell out of a guard tower.

Mine too, He died when someone fell on him while he was standing under a guard tower

 

[destrekor]

Originally posted by: tenshodo13

Originally posted by: Possessed Freak
I find this completely offensive. My grandpa died in a concentration camp... he fell out of a guard tower.

Mine too, He died when someone fell on him while he was standing under a guard tower

i had to :laugh: at this exchange.

 

[techs]

Originally posted by: destrekor

Originally posted by: tenshodo13

Originally posted by: Possessed Freak
I find this completely offensive. My grandpa died in a concentration camp... he fell out of a guard tower.

Mine too, He died when someone fell on him while he was standing under a guard tower

i had to :laugh: at this exchange.

Yeah, that's a keeper.

Did you hear about the guy who was half polish and half italian?
He made himself an offer he couldn't understand.

 

[40Hands]

I usually get more of a kick out of people who get offended over jokes more then the jokes themselves.

 

[Cogman]

So René Descartes walks into a bar, the bar maid asks him
"Would you like a beer?"
And he responds,
"I think not."
Then, POOF, he disappears.

 

[RyanPaulShaffer]

This reminds me of that Seinfeld episode...

"He converted to Judaism for the jokes!"

:laugh:

 

[mrkun]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: AVAFREAK182
Anyone else find jokes about Jews really just distasteful, hurtful, and just flat out rude?

I'm athiest and I even think they are just wrong.

/blog

No, because I'm not a pussy.
Those people endured thousands of years of horrible shit.
If they cant take a joke now, fuck em.

And if you dont like it, go be a slave for egypt and see if the jokes bother you after a while. I think you'll be more concerned with the whipping and working to death.

This is why Jews account for the majority of comedians and all-around funny people in the world.

next to the Irish, you can't find a more hilarious group of people.

Canada: Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Jim Carrey, Rick Moranis, Mike Myers, Leslie Nielsen, Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short. Need I go on?