Jew Jokes

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: PlasmaBomb


An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities' brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman's or a Scotsman's brain could be bought for £500 but an Englishman's brain cost £10,000. That proves,' said The Englishman, 'that Englishmen are much cleverer than Irishmen or Scotsmen.'
'No it doesn't,' said The Irishman, 'it just means that an Englishman's brain has never been used.'

__________________________________

An Irish man is sitting a a bar drinking
A flamboyantly gay man comes up to him and asks, "Can I give you a blow job?"
The Irishman stands up and punches the gay man.
The bar tender comes over and asks, "Why did you hit that guy?"
The Irish man replied, "He said som'tin 'bout me gettin a job"

___________________________________

Three men walk into a bar: a Frenchman, an Italian and an Irishman. Each orders one beer. Three flies fly into the bar and one fly lands in each man's beer.

The Italian man plucks the fly out of his beer, says "tutto e bene" (all is well)" and drinks the beer.
The Frenchman shows his beer with the bug still inside it to the bartender and demands another beer.
The Irishman yanks the bug out of the beer, grabs it by it's wings, shakes it while yelling

"Cough it up, you wee theivin' bastard!"

:laugh: awesome.

 

[jonks]

Originally posted by: OCguy
No, they are jokes. Actual racism disturbs me, not joking about it.

Stereotypes are the funniest shit around.

purty much

e.g. What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.


Now that sounds offensive, but I'm jewish (atheist) and me and my friends used to tell jokes like that to each other. Even if a KKK guy tells the joke, it's not the joke that would piss me off, it's that the guy telling it really wants to put jews in ovens.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: mrkun

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: AVAFREAK182
Anyone else find jokes about Jews really just distasteful, hurtful, and just flat out rude?

I'm athiest and I even think they are just wrong.

/blog

No, because I'm not a pussy.
Those people endured thousands of years of horrible shit.
If they cant take a joke now, fuck em.

And if you dont like it, go be a slave for egypt and see if the jokes bother you after a while. I think you'll be more concerned with the whipping and working to death.

This is why Jews account for the majority of comedians and all-around funny people in the world.

next to the Irish, you can't find a more hilarious group of people.

Canada: Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Jim Carrey, Rick Moranis, Mike Myers, Leslie Nielsen, Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short. Need I go on?

that's a 50 year history.

*golf clap

while I like all of those to a certain degree, they can't together add up to the singular wit and awesomeness that is Beckett. I'd wager that your ave. Irish bar fly has as much wit as a guy like John Candy or Jim Carrey.

humor tends to come from suffering. I don't see that in Canada 😉

 

[Insomniator]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: mrkun

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: AVAFREAK182
Anyone else find jokes about Jews really just distasteful, hurtful, and just flat out rude?

I'm athiest and I even think they are just wrong.

/blog

No, because I'm not a pussy.
Those people endured thousands of years of horrible shit.
If they cant take a joke now, fuck em.

And if you dont like it, go be a slave for egypt and see if the jokes bother you after a while. I think you'll be more concerned with the whipping and working to death.

This is why Jews account for the majority of comedians and all-around funny people in the world.

next to the Irish, you can't find a more hilarious group of people.

Canada: Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Jim Carrey, Rick Moranis, Mike Myers, Leslie Nielsen, Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short. Need I go on?

that's a 50 year history.

*golf clap

while I like all of those to a certain degree, they can't together add up to the singular wit and awesomeness that is Beckett. I'd wager that your ave. Irish bar fly has as much wit as a guy like John Candy or Jim Carrey.

humor tends to come from suffering. I don't see that in Canada 😉

You don't have to bother responding when Rick Moranis, Martin Short and Mike Myers are mentioned in an argument about who the best comedians are.

 

[seemingly random]

Originally posted by: BassBomb
when its something like calling someone a jew for being cheap, that i do not like as that is NOT a joke, that is just wrong
...

That's ironic since some take these as a compliment on their frugality.

 

[Joemonkey]

Originally posted by: Insomniator

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: mrkun

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: shortylickens

Originally posted by: AVAFREAK182
Anyone else find jokes about Jews really just distasteful, hurtful, and just flat out rude?

I'm athiest and I even think they are just wrong.

/blog

No, because I'm not a pussy.
Those people endured thousands of years of horrible shit.
If they cant take a joke now, fuck em.

And if you dont like it, go be a slave for egypt and see if the jokes bother you after a while. I think you'll be more concerned with the whipping and working to death.

This is why Jews account for the majority of comedians and all-around funny people in the world.

next to the Irish, you can't find a more hilarious group of people.

Canada: Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Jim Carrey, Rick Moranis, Mike Myers, Leslie Nielsen, Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short. Need I go on?

that's a 50 year history.

*golf clap

while I like all of those to a certain degree, they can't together add up to the singular wit and awesomeness that is Beckett. I'd wager that your ave. Irish bar fly has as much wit as a guy like John Candy or Jim Carrey.

humor tends to come from suffering. I don't see that in Canada 😉

You don't have to bother responding when Rick Moranis, Martin Short and Mike Myers are mentioned in an argument about who the best comedians are.

the best mike myers scene EVER was in inglourious basterds and it wasn't even funny, riddle me that batman

 

[Paratus]

An Texan, a Mexican, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are flying in a plane when one of the engines fail. The plane begins to fall and the pilot tells them to throw amything they can out the door to lighten the plane. After throwing everything out the plane is still going down so three of them are going to have to jump out to save the other one and the pilot.

The Englishman decides to sacrifice himself and yells "God Save the Queen!" and jumps out.
Not to be out done by an englishman the French guy yells "Viva La France!" and jumps out.

Now only one more must jump and the Texan goes to the door, looks out and yells "Remember the Alamo!" and throws the mexican out. 😛

(It's ok I'm part jewish and live in Texas)

 

[SandEagle]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smo3gc2zl84&NR=1

classic

 

[Crono]

Racial (and religious jokes, for that matter) jokes can either make us laugh about ourselves, and bring to mind that we are all human and have funny/weird things about us, or they can be used to feel racially superior and put down another race.

As long as it's the former and not the latter, I see no problem with Jew jokes. If they are told in good humor and not to offend, I don't see why people can't enjoy them. There's an issue when it comes to tactfully telling racial/religious jokes, though, and sometimes it's better to err on the side of caution.

 

[tyler811]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: techs
I'm proud of my Jewish heritage and our tolerance of all others.
In fact the only sin in the Jewish religion is paying retail!

🙂<--click me

Funniest thing in this thread

 

[eits]

i still dunno what "unstasteful" means

 

[tyler811]

Originally posted by: zerocool84
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.


How do you know jews are living nextdoor?

There's wet toilet paper on the clothesline.


Whats the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?

A canoe tips.


Have you heard about the Jewish sports car?

It stops on a dime, then picks it up.


What's a Jews biggest dilemma?

Free pork.


I'm half Jewish so it's all good.

Nice jokes but how can you be half jewish?? That is like being half fucking pregnant...Are you Jewish below the waist and above the waist muslim so your always trying to kick your own ass?

Jewish is a faith like baptist without the tight ass. Do you read the Tanakh with only one eye open?