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I'm very sorry it came to this

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you have done everything you can man, you can only do soo much. i hope you will find your way in l,ight of this misleading adventure you have endured.

:brokenheart:
 
That just sucks man. Wow, that sucks. Cut your losses and protect yourself, she obviously doesn't care about you the way you care about her.

GL
 
update:

do a fast track divorce, you have done more than reasonable, she needs to GROW up and not act like a baby
 
Originally posted by: elektrolokomotive
bump for update.
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I can't believe she sucked out another month's rent of you dude, that's pretty sad 🙁.

i hate to say it dude, but this woman has you by the balls.
 
Another month's rent is no big deal in the scheme of things, but I hope you have drawn the line and move on now. And please don't let her lay any guilt trips on you. You did do what was right and best for your family, no doubt about it. Her supposed feelings of abandonment are pure selfishness, a selfishness that bears itself out now that you are willing to move back but she's so self-involved she can't even be bothered to try to get things back in order with you.

Move on and don't look back. Good luck.
 
I read the update. You didn't ask her if there was another guy in the picture? Why not. It's obvious there is. And you shouldn't have offered to pay June's rent.

I really hope this works out for you. Good luck.
 
Originally posted by: MichaelD
I read the update. You didn't ask her if there was another guy in the picture? Why not. It's obvious there is. And you shouldn't have offered to pay June's rent.

I really hope this works out for you. Good luck.
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You cynical people, always so sure that there's another guy in the picture. There is NO other guy.

I feel really sorry for you. You'll be looking over your collective shoulders for the rest of your lives.

This isn't YAGT. This is a thread about a relationship that started with unconditional love, and was rent apart by the malicious actions of others. Her journey started due to the adulterous marriage she got out of. We are both in our '40s; this isn't some high school/college thing
 
Originally posted by: elektrolokomotive
Originally posted by: MichaelD
I read the update. You didn't ask her if there was another guy in the picture? Why not. It's obvious there is. And you shouldn't have offered to pay June's rent.

I really hope this works out for you. Good luck.
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You cynical people, always so sure that there's another guy in the picture. There is NO other guy.

I feel really sorry for you. You'll be looking over your collective shoulders for the rest of your lives.

This isn't YAGT. This is a thread about a relationship that started with unconditional love, and was rent apart by the malicious actions of others. Her journey started due to the adulterous marriage she got out of. We are both in our '40s; this isn't some high school/college thing
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I wasn't trying to offend or piss you off; I was merely offering my opinion. If I'm incorrect, then so be it.

I read your OP and today's update very carefully; you've been thru hell. Nobody wants to see their relationship tank, and fewer people want to admit that they've done everything they can.

Whatever you do with your money and possessions is your business; all I can suggest is that you make the move to sever ties w/this selfish woman who has left you in the cold, romantically, emotionally and financially, as soon as possible.

Good luck.

 
Originally posted by: Shaotai
if she feels that way, sounds a bit fishy.
Have you looked into hiring a PI and see what she's doing with her time? (especially since she's not working??)
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The OP should definitely do this.

This isn't YAGT. This is a thread about a relationship that started with unconditional love, and was rent apart by the malicious actions of others. Her journey started due to the adulterous marriage she got out of. We are both in our '40s; this isn't some high school/college thing
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I'm sorry but this is YAGT. The stakes are higher and the players are older but it's still YAGT. Do you really think you and your wife are experiencing something so emotionally different from what people experience while they are younger? You certainly are wiser than most youths but is it really by a very large degree?
 
Read the update. Damn... and I had a big arguement with my g/f last night too. Or problems are nothing of this calibur though. All I can say is based on the info given I think you are making the best decision however hard it may be. I think its time to cut your losses and move on.
 
Originally posted by: zephyrprime
Do you really think you and your wife are experiencing something so emotionally different from what people experience while they are younger? You certainly are wiser than most youths but is it really by a very large degree?
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Yes, I do. I've been in both situations. Have you?
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Good to see you have figured her out. She wants/needs to be married to get her kid back by showing the judge she is in a stable relationship.

You've been had.

Paying her rent is nice gesture, however, since it is only My 2nd, why can't she get a job? Even a two stoplight town needs another waitress in the bar?


 
Originally posted by: elektrolokomotive
This is my Jesuit upbringing rearing its ugly head. I feel so terrible about turning her out like this, but I did everything I could.
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Religion is so good for America :roll:
 
Originally posted by: dmcowen674
Originally posted by: elektrolokomotive
This is my Jesuit upbringing rearing its ugly head. I feel so terrible about turning her out like this, but I did everything I could.
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Religion is so good for America :roll:
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So, you're saying his Jesuit upbringing is the cause of all this mess Dave? Stick with fearmongering over in P&N you twit.
 
Run, don't walk to get the divorce process started. I read the update and it seems once you let her know what your plans are then all of a sudden she starts calling. She still fails to give you any answers or even give you the slightest bit of emotional nourishment that you come out and ask for. She sucking you dry emotionally and financially. Get out of there. You could then continue your apparently great career path in Seattle, meet some new people, and begin saving up all of your newfound cash.

good luck!
 
Just read after your update.....you sound like one hell of a guy man. Hang in there. Sounds like she showed her true colors when you told her the free ride was ending.

I hope for the very best for you in your ordeal and props to you for standing your ground. BTW, IMHO I think you did the right thing by giving her one more month of rent though it sounds like she doesn't deserve it.
 

This is a very sad situation for you (and probably her daughter). I agree with other posters that you are handling yourself in a very reasonable and responsible manner. No one can find fault with your conclusion that the marriage is over. I fear that any further efforts on your part to "save your marriage" will only lead to more sadness.

I'll agree up front that none of the posters knows anything about your wife, and so they can't really know what she might or might not do. However, their speculations do describe the kinds of shinnanagins that have gone on in other cross-country relationships.

Based on your knowledge of her, I'm sure you didn't anticipate that your marriage would be endangered by your move to Seattle (regardless of the results in court). Perhaps this suggests that her actions are harder to predict than you realized. I hope you will be open to the possibility that you don't know her as well as you think.

I worry about your statement about "... a relationship that started with unconditional love, and was rent apart by the malicious actions of others." With your marraige being the latest in a string of relationships for her, consider the possibility that she may have some real problems maintaining long-term relationships.

None of this was meant to give offense. Best of luck to you into the future.

:thumbsup:
 
Man...your situation SUCKS!

I'd probably tell her you were paying June's rent and then skip it completely. Used the rent money as a retainer for your attorney.
 
I agree that your wife is involved in a relationship with someone else and that is one of the main reasons for the breakup of your marriage, but unlike the others, I don't think it is with another man. It's with her daughter, friends, and family back home. This is not a case of absence makes the heart grow fonder for her, it's more like out of sight out of mind. She's happy with the way her life is going now with the people she cares about around her and you are making it possible by supporting her. She may have loved you once, but now she's found that she can be perfectly happy without you, but not without your financial support. That's why she's not particularly interested in you moving back and possibly losing the good job you've found in Seattle because it would disrupt the good thing she's got going now. She didn't plan it that way, you didn't forsee it happening that way, but that's the way it is now.

You, on the other hand, are not surrounded by family and friends. You are alone and missing her and are not receiving any sort of help or support from her. You are trying your best to support her and save your marriage and she is not making an effort to do either. That is not a marriage. It has been over for a while now, filing the papers will just make it official. She will probably try to change your mind or try to find some way to continue receiving your financial support because, sadly, that is the only part of the relationship that she seems to still value, but you should view it with optimism. Certainly you'll be sad to see a once loving relationship come to an end, but it will also be an end to the misery you've been experiencing recently as well. Get on with your new life, don't look back, and good luck.

Just my opinion, ya know.
 
Originally posted by: joshsquall
Get out. She's using you for money.. and that's it. If she even has to question whether or not she wants you to move back, why would you stay with her? She doesn't love you anymore.
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this is so true. do it man. stop wasting your time. women are jerks sometimes and won't tell you when its over
 
elektrolokomotive wrote:
I went back into the indifference issue, and told her that all I was asking for was some small sign that there was still any kind of spark. I apologized yet again for my (in her view) misguided decision. I told her that I really didn't want to do this (again). I gave her every opportunity to say something that would prompt me to relent. I also promised her that her stuff would come back and reminded her that in the entire course of our relationship, I have ALWAYS done exactly what I said I would do.

It didn't happen.
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bwahahaha

nice.. dont be a carpet and get all used and walked over FTW!
 
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