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I'm in love with one of my roommates...

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Originally posted by: SickBeast
This is really messed up. I live in a student co-op. I'm in a unit where 5 of us share a kitchen. 2 months ago a new girl moved in, and from the moment I met her she had me spellbound. We were flirting to the point where I thought she was interested. Then it came up that she had a boyfriend.

In any case, her boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her last week. She asked me the other day what it was like living with two people who were dating in the same multi-unit (a couple used to live in 2 of the rooms). I told her it was fine and didn't bother me. I don't know why she asked, but it sorta struck me as odd.

So...to make a long story short, I've gotten to know her and we have more in common than I've ever found in someone. She's gorgeous to boot, has a great personality, and is highly intelligent. BUT...and here's the problem...she has a date on Saturday. Not with her ex, with this friend of a friend who somehow got her number, called her, and I suppose they hit it off.

Such a complicated mess, and I'm stuck with my heart broken without much I can do about it. I'm TERRIFIED of telling her how I feel about her. I'm worried it will freak her out and it'll be really awkward living with her. I suppose there's nothing I can do now anyway...
Click to expand...

Here's pretty much the best you could do:

Stand by her through this whole new relationship (be it long or short) as a friend and eventually something will happen where she needs someone to talk to. Hopefully you'll be that person and then they eventually they break up and then that leads to that, and that leads to that, and you're dating.

You need to be a stable friend to her.
 
I had a similar situation but it was with a girl at work. She broke up with her b/f, we starting getting close and hung out a lot, and such and such... I made a move based on signals I thought I was picking up from her, and it blew up in my face. "I like you as a friend :|"
Work is kinda awkward now and we're not even comfortable as friends because of what happened.

Apply that to your situation, but since you LIVE together, you'll see her ALL THE TIME. Keep that in mind...
Also keep in mind she's moving away in Feb, so ask yourself if it's worth it.

Edit:
Oh yeah and also remember, she's probably dating ppl purely for rebound and to get herself off her old b/f. Girls will go thru a few sacrificial lambs (guys) before they resettle down...
 
Lol, this sounds almost like my situation. It must be mating season here at ATOT (crude joke).

Actually, you're better off then I am. She is on the rebound right now, the guy she is going out with now is nothing more than a party favor.

Does she know, that you know, about her current date? If not, then just ask her out and pretend you didn't know any better. If she lets you down, at least you told her that you cared about her.

Don't beat around the bush, don't just act like a friend for now and expect something greater later. Just ask her out. And yes, you will likely feel a rush of anxiety before you do, but that's normal. You'll feel so much better afterwards (in some ways) no matter what the outcome.
 
Originally posted by: godspeedx
Originally posted by: SickBeast
This is really messed up. I live in a student co-op. I'm in a unit where 5 of us share a kitchen. 2 months ago a new girl moved in, and from the moment I met her she had me spellbound. We were flirting to the point where I thought she was interested. Then it came up that she had a boyfriend.

In any case, her boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her last week. She asked me the other day what it was like living with two people who were dating in the same multi-unit (a couple used to live in 2 of the rooms). I told her it was fine and didn't bother me. I don't know why she asked, but it sorta struck me as odd.

So...to make a long story short, I've gotten to know her and we have more in common than I've ever found in someone. She's gorgeous to boot, has a great personality, and is highly intelligent. BUT...and here's the problem...she has a date on Saturday. Not with her ex, with this friend of a friend who somehow got her number, called her, and I suppose they hit it off.

Such a complicated mess, and I'm stuck with my heart broken without much I can do about it. I'm TERRIFIED of telling her how I feel about her. I'm worried it will freak her out and it'll be really awkward living with her. I suppose there's nothing I can do now anyway...
Click to expand...

Here's pretty much the best you could do:

Stand by her through this whole new relationship (be it long or short) as a friend and eventually something will happen where she needs someone to talk to. Hopefully you'll be that person and then they eventually they break up and then that leads to that, and that leads to that, and you're dating.

You need to be a stable friend to her.
Click to expand...

WRONG! that makes you a pillow man that will never get any bootie.
 
Originally posted by: Radiohead
I had a similar situation but it was with a girl at work. She broke up with her b/f, we starting getting close and hung out a lot, and such and such... I made a move based on signals I thought I was picking up from her, and it blew up in my face. "I like you as a friend :|"
Work is kinda awkward now and we're not even comfortable as friends because of what happened.

Apply that to your situation, but since you LIVE together, you'll see her ALL THE TIME. Keep that in mind...
Also keep in mind she's moving away in Feb, so ask yourself if it's worth it.
Click to expand...

Woot. 🙂

Finally someone who says NOT to ask her out right away. Then again I don't think I could ever live it down on these forums if I don't at least tell her I think she's amazing.
 
Originally posted by: SickBeast
Originally posted by: Radiohead
I had a similar situation but it was with a girl at work. She broke up with her b/f, we starting getting close and hung out a lot, and such and such... I made a move based on signals I thought I was picking up from her, and it blew up in my face. "I like you as a friend :|"
Work is kinda awkward now and we're not even comfortable as friends because of what happened.

Apply that to your situation, but since you LIVE together, you'll see her ALL THE TIME. Keep that in mind...
Also keep in mind she's moving away in Feb, so ask yourself if it's worth it.
Click to expand...

Woot. 🙂

Finally someone who says NOT to ask her out right away. Then again I don't think I could ever live it down on these forums if I don't at least tell her I think she's amazing.
Click to expand...

rolleye.gif
 
Originally posted by: Xiety
Originally posted by: godspeedx
Originally posted by: SickBeast
This is really messed up. I live in a student co-op. I'm in a unit where 5 of us share a kitchen. 2 months ago a new girl moved in, and from the moment I met her she had me spellbound. We were flirting to the point where I thought she was interested. Then it came up that she had a boyfriend.

In any case, her boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her last week. She asked me the other day what it was like living with two people who were dating in the same multi-unit (a couple used to live in 2 of the rooms). I told her it was fine and didn't bother me. I don't know why she asked, but it sorta struck me as odd.

So...to make a long story short, I've gotten to know her and we have more in common than I've ever found in someone. She's gorgeous to boot, has a great personality, and is highly intelligent. BUT...and here's the problem...she has a date on Saturday. Not with her ex, with this friend of a friend who somehow got her number, called her, and I suppose they hit it off.

Such a complicated mess, and I'm stuck with my heart broken without much I can do about it. I'm TERRIFIED of telling her how I feel about her. I'm worried it will freak her out and it'll be really awkward living with her. I suppose there's nothing I can do now anyway...
Click to expand...

Here's pretty much the best you could do:

Stand by her through this whole new relationship (be it long or short) as a friend and eventually something will happen where she needs someone to talk to. Hopefully you'll be that person and then they eventually they break up and then that leads to that, and that leads to that, and you're dating.

You need to be a stable friend to her.
Click to expand...

WRONG! that makes you a pillow man that will never get any bootie.
Click to expand...

Or he could be the type of pillow man that gets all the after-break-up bootie but no relationship. 😉

 
Originally posted by: ness1469
Originally posted by: Xiety
Originally posted by: godspeedx
Originally posted by: SickBeast
This is really messed up. I live in a student co-op. I'm in a unit where 5 of us share a kitchen. 2 months ago a new girl moved in, and from the moment I met her she had me spellbound. We were flirting to the point where I thought she was interested. Then it came up that she had a boyfriend.

In any case, her boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her last week. She asked me the other day what it was like living with two people who were dating in the same multi-unit (a couple used to live in 2 of the rooms). I told her it was fine and didn't bother me. I don't know why she asked, but it sorta struck me as odd.

So...to make a long story short, I've gotten to know her and we have more in common than I've ever found in someone. She's gorgeous to boot, has a great personality, and is highly intelligent. BUT...and here's the problem...she has a date on Saturday. Not with her ex, with this friend of a friend who somehow got her number, called her, and I suppose they hit it off.

Such a complicated mess, and I'm stuck with my heart broken without much I can do about it. I'm TERRIFIED of telling her how I feel about her. I'm worried it will freak her out and it'll be really awkward living with her. I suppose there's nothing I can do now anyway...
Click to expand...

Here's pretty much the best you could do:

Stand by her through this whole new relationship (be it long or short) as a friend and eventually something will happen where she needs someone to talk to. Hopefully you'll be that person and then they eventually they break up and then that leads to that, and that leads to that, and you're dating.

You need to be a stable friend to her.
Click to expand...

WRONG! that makes you a pillow man that will never get any bootie.
Click to expand...

Or he could be the type of pillow man that gets all the after-break-up bootie but no relationship. 😉
Click to expand...

nope...if he becomes shoulder boy he will get no bootie. go after it now...dont hold back.
 
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
You're in the friend zone dude!
Click to expand...

I don't think that her going on a date with someone else means he is in the friends zone.
Click to expand...

he is well on his way if he does not act
 
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
You're in the friend zone dude!
Click to expand...

I don't think that her going on a date with someone else means he is in the friends zone.
Click to expand...

I think that he means the "friend zone" is something bad, as in, since I'm friends with her nothing will ever materialize.
 
Originally posted by: SickBeast
Originally posted by: dman
Well, you have 2 options:

1) Ask her out and
a) get denied
b) she agrees

2) Not ask her out

I guarantee you will regret #2 more than either outcome of option 1.
Click to expand...

So it's not off-limits to date someone you live with? What if things go south?
Click to expand...
If things go south start being a d!ck then she'll move out...

 
Originally posted by: SickBeast
Originally posted by: Doggiedog
Don't look back on your life regretting "Why didn't I ask out my ex-roommate? She was so great."

Be a man and go for it.
Click to expand...

Dude, she's got a date TOMORROW. She's been all exstatic about it, bouncing off the walls, going on and on about how good looking she thinks he is. I think my hands are pretty much tied. If I say anything to her it's just going to make things very strange around here for the next while, and probably confuse her.
Click to expand...

whip out your <insert>

a) you win
b) you lose

j/k
 
Be a man, don't be scared. I heard you were running from your roomie is what I hear.

Be a man, don't be a chump, I never thought SickBeast would be wild like a chump.
 
I've been in this situation before, and here are basically the only options you have:

1) Ask her out.
2) Don't ask her out. Continue living with her and become miserable/envious while she goes out with other people.
3) Move out.

In my case, I was moving out anyway so I chose #3. I still wonder a year later what would have happened if I had just had the balls to ask her out. Of course now I'll never know.
 
Originally posted by: dman
Well, you have 2 options:

1) Ask her out and
a) get denied
b) she agrees

2) Not ask her out

I guarantee you will regret #2 more than either outcome of option 1.
Click to expand...


I did #2 once and regretted it my whole life, ask her out before it's too late:brokenheart:
 
just because she is going to go out with some guy doesnt mean jack. her "relationship" if you can even call it that is way way young with that guy.
you have plenty of time to turn the odds in your favor!!!

you can do it, for you are a champion.

ANANDTECH CHAMPIONS!!
 
Originally posted by: dman
Well, you have 2 options:

1) Ask her out and
a) get denied
b) she agrees

2) Not ask her out

I guarantee you will regret #2 more than either outcome of option 1.
Click to expand...

 
Originally posted by: SickBeast
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
You're in the friend zone dude!
Click to expand...

I don't think that her going on a date with someone else means he is in the friends zone.
Click to expand...

I think that he means the "friend zone" is something bad, as in, since I'm friends with her nothing will ever materialize.
Click to expand...

I think this will explain it all to you.

Ladder Theory
 
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