- Nov 28, 2001
- 22,205
- 43
- 91
UPDATE: Well looks like he might buy the property after all. Wonder if my parents will split over this? I think my father has a mental disorder. He certainly HAS had anxiety and depression problems for decades, which I have inherited.
Below is a brool story co, don't expect much more. Quit now and turn back if you are expecting anything else.
I think you all know my situation by now, I've certainly posted enough by now. For those who don't here are the cliffs:
* 29yrs old still living at home with parents
* Suffer from life long depression and anxiety
* Never had a relationship, am a virgin etc..
* Have 1/4 of a degree but dropped out of university multiple times due to #2 above.
* Been working retail jobs the last 5 or 6 years
* The only positive to the above is I do have some savings from my time working (about 65k).
Anyway you all know that. Well recently my father has been going through something of a 3/4 life crisis (He's 63). My parents have always been very different types and frankly I'm often amazed that my parents have not split up by this point. They certainly don't hate each other but there's obviously no passion left in their marriage and they have no interests in common. They stay together as much as anything because our lives together are comfortable and things have worked out well. Where things get messy are finances. Here's how things break down:
* Together they make probably around 110-120k/yr. But about 90k is from my father and about 35-40k from my mother.
* Father basically has 0 savings and over spends all the time. He never has any really large debts but has never really saved a dime in his life for retirement.
* My mother comes from a strict Chinese wealthy family that doesn't spend a penny. She has worked hard at 7-11 (she got me the job there I had) for the past 20 years or so and of the two is the only one with any savings. She also inherited about 300k from her parents when they died which she has put into a property that she rents out.
* They don't see eye to eye on savings at all so basically they keep their finances seperate.
* Father pays the big bills like mortgage, utilities, house tax, etc.. But he's also spent most of the money he earns on other toys over the years.
* Mother paid off the mortgage on the main house using some other money she got from her parents some years back and my father now pays her monthly to pay that back (so the mortgage is paid off but he pays her monthly to pay back that money)
* Mother pays for food, some entertainment and other stuff and saves for herself.
However he's now getting to the point where he will be retiring and feels like he wants to do some things in his older age. Those things include buying a property in Europe and spending a some time there. How he will manage to do this once retired god only knows. Actually he's looking at working part and tutoring for as long as he physically can. Anyway my mother thinks he's crazy and won't have any part of it. Because she is as angry about it as she is my father agreed not to buy the property but HAS bought a plane ticket to Italy to spend a week there to look at some of the properties and travel a bit. My mother has agreed to him going but still thinks he's crazy.
Even more nuts a few days after he gets back we are all going on a trip to Belize that we already have booked.
Again they stay together I suppose as much as anything because aside from money they are comfortable where they are and don't want to make drastic changes to something that has been comfortable for so many years, even if there isn't much passion left (they still do love each other though). I'm trying to stay out of this whole thing but it certainly has gotten me thinking more recently about my own situation and how it HAS to change soon.
Below is a brool story co, don't expect much more. Quit now and turn back if you are expecting anything else.
I think you all know my situation by now, I've certainly posted enough by now. For those who don't here are the cliffs:
* 29yrs old still living at home with parents
* Suffer from life long depression and anxiety
* Never had a relationship, am a virgin etc..
* Have 1/4 of a degree but dropped out of university multiple times due to #2 above.
* Been working retail jobs the last 5 or 6 years
* The only positive to the above is I do have some savings from my time working (about 65k).
Anyway you all know that. Well recently my father has been going through something of a 3/4 life crisis (He's 63). My parents have always been very different types and frankly I'm often amazed that my parents have not split up by this point. They certainly don't hate each other but there's obviously no passion left in their marriage and they have no interests in common. They stay together as much as anything because our lives together are comfortable and things have worked out well. Where things get messy are finances. Here's how things break down:
* Together they make probably around 110-120k/yr. But about 90k is from my father and about 35-40k from my mother.
* Father basically has 0 savings and over spends all the time. He never has any really large debts but has never really saved a dime in his life for retirement.
* My mother comes from a strict Chinese wealthy family that doesn't spend a penny. She has worked hard at 7-11 (she got me the job there I had) for the past 20 years or so and of the two is the only one with any savings. She also inherited about 300k from her parents when they died which she has put into a property that she rents out.
* They don't see eye to eye on savings at all so basically they keep their finances seperate.
* Father pays the big bills like mortgage, utilities, house tax, etc.. But he's also spent most of the money he earns on other toys over the years.
* Mother paid off the mortgage on the main house using some other money she got from her parents some years back and my father now pays her monthly to pay that back (so the mortgage is paid off but he pays her monthly to pay back that money)
* Mother pays for food, some entertainment and other stuff and saves for herself.
However he's now getting to the point where he will be retiring and feels like he wants to do some things in his older age. Those things include buying a property in Europe and spending a some time there. How he will manage to do this once retired god only knows. Actually he's looking at working part and tutoring for as long as he physically can. Anyway my mother thinks he's crazy and won't have any part of it. Because she is as angry about it as she is my father agreed not to buy the property but HAS bought a plane ticket to Italy to spend a week there to look at some of the properties and travel a bit. My mother has agreed to him going but still thinks he's crazy.
Even more nuts a few days after he gets back we are all going on a trip to Belize that we already have booked.
Again they stay together I suppose as much as anything because aside from money they are comfortable where they are and don't want to make drastic changes to something that has been comfortable for so many years, even if there isn't much passion left (they still do love each other though). I'm trying to stay out of this whole thing but it certainly has gotten me thinking more recently about my own situation and how it HAS to change soon.
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