I'm having a 1/4 life crisis and my father is having a 3/4 life crisis...

[Locut0s]

Are you in any sort of therapy?

Not currently.

 

[ShawnD1]

Most studies out there show that the best solutions are usually a mix of meds and therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to be quite effective for example. One has to really be in the right mindset for it to work though. And knowing as I do about the specific techniques uses can be counterproductive.

I'm generally against therapy because it just seems like bullshit. Every person I know who has emotional problems can trace the problem down to something that is measurably wrong with their body. My mood wildly fluctuates based on food, medication, and exercise because I have chronic hypoglycemia. I have every symptom of major depression when I'm not on medication, and people can accurately guess how I'm feeling just by measuring my blood sugar. The problems completely stopped when I started taking blood sugar medication. My gf's anxiety problems are very likely related to her own blood sugar problems, but she's more on the diabetic side of the scale. I know 2 people who are emotionally unstable due to hypothyroidism, but they're completely functional people while taking thyroxine. Within a day their mental condition completely falls apart if they don't take their meds.

The idea that you need therapy seems silly. Were you severely abused as a kid? Were you raped? Did you watch one of your parents get murdered? If not, you probably don't need therapy. If your brain is not working and you have no idea why, it's probably a physical problem. You can't therapy away physical problems like hypothyroidism.

 

[BeauJangles]

Not currently.

I don't know much about your situation, but, like I said above, I'd recommend checking in on it. Finding the right person is trial-and-error, but once you find someone you can trust and work with, it's amazing the kinds of things that you can learn about yourself and overcome.

Just a friendly suggestion! Good luck regardless, I know what it's like to be completely stuck in life.

 

[BeauJangles]

The idea that you need therapy seems silly. Were you severely abused as a kid? Were you raped? Did you watch one of your parents get murdered? If not, you probably don't need therapy. If your brain is not working and you have no idea why, it's probably a physical problem. You can't therapy away physical problems like hypothyroidism.

Right, but you can't medicate away problems that arise from purely psychological issues, which is why it is helpful to pursue both medication and therapy simultaneously. Part of the problem with dismissing therapy as unnecessary unless you've suffered "severe" abuse is that the victim of abuse or trauma often would not call what they were subjected to severe. Not to mention that many psychological problems can arise from something much smaller than the kinds of things you listed. Sometimes they can't even remember it to begin with. Those types of issues, if they exist, will not go away simply by medicating the person.

The idea that you should just stick someone on medication, particularly medications like anti-depressants, and then leave them to their own devices is foolhardy and just plain poor care. Granted, your point about solving physical ailments is a good one -- too often people overlook the purely chemical reasons of why they feel a certain way, but chemicals aren't the end-all when it comes to helping someone.

 

[Zen0]

Not currently.

You don't seem to be willing to help yourself. Nobody is going to be happy for you.

 

[Zen0]

Wow, epic misunderstanding of depression. You are officially the stupidest person on the forum. You aren't a scientologist, are you? Because that's exactly what they would say.

Am I officially? Excellent!

 

[Zen0]

Meh. Some people just don't understand depression either because they are ignorant of it or because it goes against their extreme conservative world view.

I understand depression. Who DOESN'T understand depression? LOL, as if everyone was born with a Harvard degree, incredible good looks, close loyal friends, a soul mate, and great health?

Here's news for you honey, you are not that special. Get over yourself, we all go through ups and downs, for various periods. You either figure it out yourself or find someone or someway to help you get there.

You could also go on Heroine and be really really happy for the rest of your life. That sounds much more pleasant than being on anti-depressants which barely just lets you get by doesn't it?

I never needed to be on meds because unless it's truly a biochemical problem (that means your brain really is fucked up, sorry), no one needs to. Get off your fat ass and do something about it, learn something useful, go make some friends and find someone worth loving instead of just waiting for someone to love you (and honestly, the way you are right now, you don't deserve any girl to really love you).

 

[Locut0s]

I'm generally against therapy because it just seems like bullshit. Every person I know who has emotional problems can trace the problem down to something that is measurably wrong with their body. My mood wildly fluctuates based on food, medication, and exercise because I have chronic hypoglycemia. I have every symptom of major depression when I'm not on medication, and people can accurately guess how I'm feeling just by measuring my blood sugar. The problems completely stopped when I started taking blood sugar medication. My gf's anxiety problems are very likely related to her own blood sugar problems, but she's more on the diabetic side of the scale. I know 2 people who are emotionally unstable due to hypothyroidism, but they're completely functional people while taking thyroxine. Within a day their mental condition completely falls apart if they don't take their meds.

The idea that you need therapy seems silly. Were you severely abused as a kid? Were you raped? Did you watch one of your parents get murdered? If not, you probably don't need therapy. If your brain is not working and you have no idea why, it's probably a physical problem. You can't therapy away physical problems like hypothyroidism.

Yes in many cases it is largely or entirely medical however I believe there is often if not almost always something in the way of a nurture issue behind it as well. I know for a fact that a large portion of my problem is medical as my father also has emotional issues, he had a serious nervous break down in his 20s. However one doesn't need to be beaten or sexually abused as a child to have lingering issues. If you combine problems from nurture AND nature the issues become magnified.

 

[Locut0s]

I understand depression. Who DOESN'T understand depression? LOL, as if everyone was born with a Harvard degree, incredible good looks, close loyal friends, a soul mate, and great health?

Here's news for you honey, you are not that special. Get over yourself, we all go through ups and downs, for various periods. You either figure it out yourself or find someone or someway to help you get there.

You could also go on Heroine and be really really happy for the rest of your life. That sounds much more pleasant than being on anti-depressants which barely just lets you get by doesn't it?

I never needed to be on meds because unless it's truly a biochemical problem (that means your brain really is fucked up, sorry), no one needs to. Get off your fat ass and do something about it, learn something useful, go make some friends and find someone worth loving instead of just waiting for someone to love you (and honestly, the way you are right now, you don't deserve any girl to really love you).

Actually no NOT everyone understands depression. Being down every now and then is normal for everyone, this is NOT depression. Depression usually has no obvious cause, you aren't down because your GF left you or because your life sucks, you are down because (amongst other reasons) your brain chemistry is off. Have you even felt suicidal for no reason? Have you ever had ZERO energy for days on end for no reason and contemplated taking your own life? Again not feeling sorry for yourself, just not feeling anything AT ALL. Like you are a walking zombie? This is depression, though it can be better or worse than this as well.

 

[Zen0]

Yes in many cases it is largely or entirely medical however I believe there is often if not almost always something in the way of a nurture issue behind it as well. I know for a fact that a large portion of my problem is medical as my father also has emotional issues, he had a serious nervous break down in his 20s. However one doesn't need to be beaten or sexually abused as a child to have lingering issues. If you combine problems from nurture AND nature the issues become magnified.

LOL, also another newsflash - parents suck. They will put undue pressure, stress, and expectations on you. They will shame you and fuck with your head.

Again, you are not special and your parents are no worse than the rest of them who are fucked up enough themselves far too much to be having kids.

Also society sucks. People tells us we are fags and are going to hell. We risk being harmed physically just be walking down the street.

Your life is a freaking utopia if your problems are based only on "my upbringing and/or parents suck boo hoo".

 

[Zen0]

Actually no NOT everyone understands depression. Being down every now and then is normal for everyone, this is NOT depression. Depression usually has no obvious cause, you aren't down because your GF left you or because your life sucks, you are down because (amongst other reasons) your brain chemistry is off. Have you even felt suicidal for no reason? Have you ever had ZERO energy for days on end for no reason and contemplated taking your own life? Again not feeling sorry for yourself, just not feeling anything AT ALL. Like you are a walking zombie? This is depression, though it can be better or worse than this as well.

If you physically and measureably lack certain neurotransmitters or hormones, then like I said, you have a fucked brain... sorry. It's a bit like being born with a genetic disease, sickle cell, or some deformity. Nothing you can do about it, so take your meds.

Also, don't have kids. Your kids don't need to live a sad existence like yours.

 

[ShawnD1]

I understand depression. Who DOESN'T understand depression? LOL, as if everyone was born with a Harvard degree, incredible good looks, close loyal friends, a soul mate, and great health?

True that. Even though I don't have Parkinsons disease and I don't know anyone who has it, I can claim that I completely understand it :awe:

Right, but you can't medicate away problems that arise from purely psychological issues, which is why it is helpful to pursue both medication and therapy simultaneously.

I dismiss it because most of the therapy stuff I've heard from psych students seems to be about teaching people to relax and accept things. That's a good solution to a lot of problems, but I think you can chill people out a lot easier with drugs than with therapy, and the result would be the same. Let's use the example of panic disorders. You don't want to talk to people because you're afraid you'll say the wrong thing. That's a real fear, and the solution is to stop caring; old people who say racist things out loud have this one mastered. Now you can either try to pound this into your head that you're not special and nobody really cares if you say something stupid or you can take this pill and you will immediately stop caring what other people think.

Overall I think a lot of things just can't be taught. Your brain either has it or it doesn't. Everyone is told every single day that they should act confident and hold their head up, but it never seems to sink in. You can say that to someone every day for years and it never helps. When people get nervous or intimidated, there's no way to talk them out of it. You can tell someone to stop being nervous but it just doesn't work. After smoking a cigarette or drinking a beer, people calm down even if nothing has been said to them, and it works every time. That's the difference between words and drugs.

Another reason I don't have faith in therapy is because a lot of people seem totally incapable of learning. I'll use my friend as an example. He's always late for things, and there's probably some deep rooted reason why. We've tried to change him, but it never seems to work. We've taken hard stances where we say be ready at X time or we will leave without you, and that's exactly what we do. He'll sometimes be left out of things because he wasn't ready when we came to pick him up. After years of constant negative reinforcement, he is still late all the time. Some people (and some pets) cannot be trained and it's as simple as that, unfortunately.

 

[Locut0s]

LOL, also another newsflash - parents suck. They will put undue pressure, stress, and expectations on you. They will shame you and fuck with your head.

Again, you are not special and your parents are no worse than the rest of them who are fucked up enough themselves far too much to be having kids.

Also society sucks. People tells us we are fags and are going to hell. We risk being harmed physically just be walking down the street.

Your life is a freaking utopia if your problems are based only on "my upbringing and/or parents suck boo hoo".

LOL of course my life is a fucking utopia compared to many, all of the global average. Depression is a medical condition and has nothing to do with how good or bad your life is. Millionaires and Billionaires suffer from depression and end up committing suicide for no apparent reason. Their lives should be fucking glorious.

 

[Zen0]

LOL of course my life is a fucking utopia compared to many, all of the global average. Depression is a medical condition and has nothing to do with how good or bad your life is. Millionaires and Billionaires suffer from depression and end up committing suicide for no apparent reason. Their lives should be fucking glorious.

Why would their lives be glorious? Having money allows you certain creature comforts and luxuries, it doesn't bring you glory nor happiness.

Maybe your head is more fucked up than I thought.

 

[Locut0s]

Why would their lives be glorious? Having money allows you certain creature comforts and luxuries, it doesn't bring you glory nor happiness.

Maybe your head is more fucked up than I thought.

You're point was that my life should be a fucking utopia if my problems are only based on X (something not serious). I was just trying to take that to an extreme to show that even people who have absolutely nothing at all to complain about and have no problems in their lives at all (of course it's no just money I know that) also can have sever depression. At any rate it's pointless to continue this so I'll just leave this here.

 

[ShawnD1]

Why would their lives be glorious? Having money allows you certain creature comforts and luxuries, it doesn't bring you glory nor happiness.

Man you suck with money. If I had mad cash, I would get those coconut mocha frappucinos at starbucks every day. I love those so much. And we'd go skiing in the mountains. And I would own my own ski boat and I would ski until my legs were numb. I would buy clothes that fit properly instead of trying to lose weight as my clothes shrink in the wash.

 

[Zen0]

You're point was that my life should be a fucking utopia if my problems are only based on X (something not serious). I was just trying to take that to an extreme to show that even people who have absolutely nothing at all to complain about and have no problems in their lives at all (of course it's no just money I know that) also can have sever depression. At any rate it's pointless to continue this so I'll just leave this here.

Do you have close friends? My guess is no.

You have no loved ones clearly and no sex life.

You are probably fat and have low self esteem.

Do you have any passions in life or real interests? Probably not.

Do you believe in anything except hedonism?

You can't claim your problems are purely biochemical (physical), because frankly, both your psyche and your social life is pathetic. Come back and whine about your unexplained sudden suicidal depression when you get a life and you're STILL depressed. :hmm:

 

[Zen0]

Man you suck with money. If I had mad cash, I would get those coconut mocha frappucinos at starbucks every day. I love those so much. And we'd go skiing in the mountains. And I would own my own ski boat and I would ski until my legs were numb. I would buy clothes that fit properly instead of trying to lose weight as my clothes shrink in the wash.

OH FUCK YEA I had one the other day oh my god the coconut is so fucking good.

But I can have one every day and I'm not a millionaire. And I intend to have one everyday (at least before I go to the gym so it doesn't make me fat).

Um, you need to find a brand of clothing (or types) that DON'T shrink. Dress shirts don't shrink, neither do jeans and chinos and if your tops shrink but you have a nice body, who cares.

 

[ShawnD1]

You can't claim your problems are purely biochemical (physical), because frankly, both your psyche and your social life is pathetic. Come back and whine about your unexplained sudden suicidal depression when you get a life and you're STILL depressed. :hmm:

And how are you supposed to go talk to people when you're depressed? Depression literally means your nervous system is depressed. Depression means you're tired all the time, NOTHING is enjoyable.

 

[Zen0]

And how are you supposed to go talk to people when you're depressed? Depression literally means your nervous system is depressed. Depression means you're tired all the time, NOTHING is enjoyable.

Chicken or the egg. You have a brain and you have a free will, so it's your choice to use it.

Fuck, we all decide to go to work even though it's not enjoyable lol. Not everything in life starts, continues to be, and ends in glorious ecstasy. Am I enjoying this conversation? Not really, it's pretty sad how some people live their lives with such weak wills and low wit.

 

[ShawnD1]

Fuck, we all decide to go to work even though it's not enjoyable lol.

D: D: D:

My job is pretty sweet. My gf's job is even better :biggrin:

 

[Zen0]

D: D: D:

My job is pretty sweet. My gf's job is even better :biggrin:

Well most people do not go to work to be in joyful ecstasy. That's why it's called work lol.

 

[Doppel]

I understand depression. Who DOESN'T understand depression? LOL, as if everyone was born with a Harvard degree, incredible good looks, close loyal friends, a soul mate, and great health?

Here's news for you honey, you are not that special. Get over yourself, we all go through ups and downs, for various periods. You either figure it out yourself or find someone or someway to help you get there.

You could also go on Heroine and be really really happy for the rest of your life. That sounds much more pleasant than being on anti-depressants which barely just lets you get by doesn't it?

I never needed to be on meds because unless it's truly a biochemical problem (that means your brain really is fucked up, sorry), no one needs to. Get off your fat ass and do something about it, learn something useful, go make some friends and find someone worth loving instead of just waiting for someone to love you (and honestly, the way you are right now, you don't deserve any girl to really love you).

Despite your claims to the contrary you clearly don't know the first thing about depression. But you think you do, which is inexcusable but extremely common. I've read this tripe from others a million times, though. Same kind of nonsensical "get over it" that's like telling a person if they want to get to the moon to just jump higher. Patently incorrect but you'll argue until you're blue in the face nonetheless.

Also, who said to get out of your parents' house. Yes. Now.

 

[Locut0s]

wtf what toys is he spending all his money on? you sure it's not hookers?

I estimate that I've spent 12 to $13,000 or more on my computer, home theatre and other tech hobbies over the past 5-6 years or so. However I don't own a car, or pay rent. The cost of owning a car and rent would have added up to MUCH more than that over 5 years so while many people may think my priorities are screwed up I haven't actually spent more than others, just on different things (and also saved 65k as well).

 

[Locut0s]

UPDATE: Well looks like he might buy the property after all. Wonder if my parents will split over this? I think my father has a mental disorder. He certainly HAS had anxiety and depression problems for decades, which I have inherited.