I am so fvcking mad at my parents.

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: Gonad the Barbarian

Originally posted by: Jfur
You know, I really disagree with the idea that parents SHOULD pay for a college education, a car, or virtually anything after one is old enough to work and has finished high school. If they can help out, that's great. But I find it odd that some people assume that their parents' assets are theirs, that they are *entitled* to inherit property, etc. Call me a hardass but giving people expectations like this leads to a lot of spoiled and lazy people who are not even motivated to find work after their college degree is done. Or feel like they work too hard to make a simple living once things are no longer free. I'M NOT SAYING THAT APPLIES TO ANYONE WHOSE PARENTS BUY THEM THINGS OR HELP WITH SCHOOL, but think about the implications of the entitlement mentality. When did this become the norm?

So parents aren't entitled to get chores out of their kids? Or help & care when they get old and decrepit? You ARE entitled to certain things from your parents, just as parents are entitled certain things from their children. It's part of the nature of the relationship, and it's shameful when one side doesn't even make an effort to deliver.

When did going to college (often apparently to get drunk and play computer games all day on the parents' dime) become a right? Parents do enough already rasing you for 18 years -- it takes a huge financial toll as well as a huge amount of time and energy. A lot of people don't even bother to do chores, and fewer and fewer care for aging parents. I'll certainly care for mine when they need help, but it's because I am thankful for their love and care during my childhood (even if they did not send me to college). I don't resent them for it in the least. If parents can and are willing to help, fine. But there is no way they are obligated legally or morally to do so. What are these generations of people who expect that going to do when the real world hits the fan? When the cushy IT jobs they feel entitled to don't come through? When Mom and Dad sell "your" house and go on a trip around the world (not that AmazonRasta's parents did that)?
etc. ad infinitum?

added: if we are doing our jobs as youth, we can do well enough in school to secure scholarships to cover at least part of our education. Or we can take on the burden of small loans. Most of the people who end up doing things like that come out way ahead in terms of work ethic and maturity. once again, I am NOT saying that people who don't work or pay for school at all are necessarily lazy or don't work hard -- it just seems that if you actually have to work for it you'll take it a lot more seriously.

jfur, i don't think you can definitively say whether one way or another is right. different strokes for different folks... you may not consider it a moral obligation, but others might. for example, i do a lot of website stuff for my mom.... am i morally obligated to do so? a lot of people would probably say no, but i believe that's part of my duty... my parents told me "education is the most important thing, don't worry about the money". a lot of their life has been devoted to making sure that my sister and i have opportunities that they didn't have. and i carry their same viewpoint... when i have children, i'm going to make sure that money will not get in the way of a good education for them. i don't want to have them distracted from their studies by monetary issues. i'm not a spoiled brat or whatever... if my parents stop paying for my school, i'll know that they really tried their hardest, but that's life. i'm eternally grateful to them for working so hard to give me a good life, and i try to show my gratitude by being a good son, etc.... also, part of the reason i have such a strong desire to succeed is so that i can take care of them when they get old. i mean, if it were just me, i think i would just settle for a normal life... but because my parents have been so kind to me, i really want to be rich, so i can buy them a nice big house, winnebago, etc.

i guess this was kind of rambly, but just thought i'd share my perspective.

 

[ed21x]

one acronym- ROTC (i'm serious- they're paying for my entire college tuition)

 

[ed21x]

oh, and if you're parents are charging you rent to live in your own room, i suggest you move out to live with room mates for the same money. it's so much more worth it, and you save on bus fair.

 

[Kerouactivist]

To me it is a parenting decision some people do it for their kids some do not.

 

[Goosemaster]

*Whispers*


I think we scared him away




Seriously man, Facing the truth is hard.....Living and succeeding in the truth is sooo rewarding though

 

[snooker]

I guess it depends on your lifestyle etc..... I never went to college after high school, nor did anyone I went to school with. Why? Not because my parents had major financial problems but because my parents had their own life to worry about, which I respect totally. They taught me everything I needed to know to survive in this world and I love them to death for that. Do not hold a grudge against your parents because they are thinking of themselves and their future instead of you and your future. After all, a secondary school is not required, thus holding your parents responsible for the lack of finances is childish.

Look at it this way, They paid for you to goto school until you are 18, paid for your lunches, paid for your clothing, paid for any extra curricular activities you may have been involved in (Band, football, tennis, whatever)

Add all of that up and I bet you will see they did indeed pay your way through school to this point. Take responsability and get a job and pay yourself. It will not only get you in college, but it will also make you feel great because it is all you that is making it possible.


Oh and welcome to the world of being an adult

(Steps down from the soapbox now)

 

[jemcam]

BTW, I didn't glean from his post that he wants to go to college for an education. Sounds to me like he wants to go because he thinks it's fun. If that's his only motivation, then he won't make it through college anyway. Maybe his parents figured that out a long time ago and decided they'd rather pay bills than save it for him to party for a year or so until he got kicked out of college.

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: AmazonRasta
Everybody elses' parents have some money put away for their children so that they can help their son/daughter pay to attend an institue of higher learning (college, university, etc.) after completing high school. My parents don't. I'm left with the whole financial burden of paying for everything - tuition, books, bus fair, etc. On top of that, I have to pay rent to live at home and pay car insurance ($80/month) to drive the car a couple of times a week. I mean, I understand that school is important and that paying for my own education is a great lesson in learning how to spend my money wisely, but who are my parents to teach me this lesson when they are the ones who can't even spend their own money wisely?! We are on the verge of selling our house and renting an apartment because my parents have racked up so much credit card debt, not to mention the money they owe the government. Bah, I'm just upset that I'm not having as good as time as everybody else at college who's living on residence, and everybody who is on residence have said that their parents helped them pay for it one way or another.

WEll, i guess you should have done better in school and gotten scholarships! Sucks fo j000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: wQuay

I have to pay rent to live at home

That's inexcusable.

No it's not.

 

[PC Freak]

That's a tough pill to swallow. Sorry to hear that.

Honestly this is my suggestion. Have you thought about joining the military. The Air Force has been very good to me.
You should really think about it. Education in the Air Force is great with Cleps, Danta's, Boot Strap, Tution Assistance and the GI Bill.
You would gain real working experience and an education to go along with it. Oh, medical and dental is free too. You would also get a free place to stay and money for your food every month.
If you into computers you would love the job I have in the Air Force. Give it a thought.
Just my .02. Good luck though.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: PC_Freak
That's a tough pill to swallow. Sorry to hear that.

Honestly this is my suggestion. Have you thought about joining the military. The Air Force has been very good to me.
You should really think about it. Education in the Air Force is great with Cleps, Danta's, Boot Strap, Tution Assistance and the GI Bill.
You would gain real working experience and an education to go along with it. Oh, medical and dental is free too. You would also get a free place to stay and money for your food every month.
If you into computers you would love the job I have in the Air Force. Give it a thought.
Just my .02. Good luck though.

i agree.... seriously, tha'ts what i'd do if it weren't for my parents (they don't like the thought of their only son in the military)

 

[SCSIfreek]

Stop whining, get you act together and do it yourself. Your parents had done enough to raise you through high school. I paid for my own educationa and I am damn proud of it. If you don't want a huge loan why not consider a less expensive school? <---thats what i did and I dont regret it at all. at the end it just shows who can produce more not the school you're from. Your thread gave me second thoughts of having kids.


--Scsi

 

[OutHouse]

Awwwwww you poor baby! Cry me a fricken river!

my parents didnt pay for my college either. Nor did i want them too. I joined the Air Force and the AF paid 75% of my tuition and now i have the GI Bill with about 8K left to spend on something to further my education.


I have 3 kids, 3 years apart. I will HELP them out SOME but i will not pay for their whole education. I feel that the student paying for his own education will be more motoviated to be a better student and not waste money.

 

[Red Dawn]

Bah, I'm just upset that I'm not having as good as time as everybody else at college who's living on residence

Poor baby, I guess the only option you have is to just study your ass off instead of partying.

 

[Beau]

Everybody elses' parents have some money put away for their children so that they can help their son/daughter pay to attend an institue of higher learning (college, university, etc.) after completing high school. My parents don't. I'm left with the whole financial burden of paying for everything - tuition, books, bus fair, etc. On top of that, I have to pay rent to live at home and pay car insurance ($80/month) to drive the car a couple of times a week.

Wah wah wah wah. Poor baby. I got a new flash for ya: Not everyone's parents have a college fund for their kids. I'd imagine that there are more that don't than do.

I mean, I understand that school is important and that paying for my own education is a great lesson in learning how to spend my money wisely, but who are my parents to teach me this lesson when they are the ones who can't even spend their own money wisely?!

THEY ARE YOUR PARENTS, that's who they are. Your grandest teachers in life, the ones you should look up to and either a) learn from what they did right, or b) learn from their mistakes.

We are on the verge of selling our house and renting an apartment because my parents have racked up so much credit card debt, not to mention the money they owe the government.

Bah, I'm just upset that I'm not having as good as time as everybody else at college who's living on residence, and everybody who is on residence have said that their parents helped them pay for it one way or another.

Just get over it. Bitching about it is going to get you about as far as pyonir's ever got with a girl. Accept it, deal with it, move on.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: AmazonRasta
Everybody elses' parents have some money put away for their children so that they can help their son/daughter pay to attend an institue of higher learning (college, university, etc.) after completing high school. My parents don't. I'm left with the whole financial burden of paying for everything - tuition, books, bus fair, etc. On top of that, I have to pay rent to live at home and pay car insurance ($80/month) to drive the car a couple of times a week.

I mean, I understand that school is important and that paying for my own education is a great lesson in learning how to spend my money wisely, but who are my parents to teach me this lesson when they are the ones who can't even spend their own money wisely?! We are on the verge of selling our house and renting an apartment because my parents have racked up so much credit card debt, not to mention the money they owe the government.

Bah, I'm just upset that I'm not having as good as time as everybody else at college who's living on residence, and everybody who is on residence have said that their parents helped them pay for it one way or another.

I know it is hard for you right now, but put yourself in your parent's shoes and think how bad they must feel not being able to provide better for you.

 

[Chaotic42]

Life isn't free. You'd better get used to it. I don't want to be preachy, but everything that everyone has told you about life not being fair, and about you getting what you earn. It's true. It took me years to figure it out, and I had to do it the hard way.

You could be diseased, starving, and unable to complain about your situation lest you get a bayonet in your gut. Think about it that way.

 

[Aceman]

Originally posted by: Gonad the Barbarian

Originally posted by: Jfur
You know, I really disagree with the idea that parents SHOULD pay for a college education, a car, or virtually anything after one is old enough to work and has finished high school. If they can help out, that's great. But I find it odd that some people assume that their parents' assets are theirs, that they are *entitled* to inherit property, etc. Call me a hardass but giving people expectations like this leads to a lot of spoiled and lazy people who are not even motivated to find work after their college degree is done. Or feel like they work too hard to make a simple living once things are no longer free. I'M NOT SAYING THAT APPLIES TO ANYONE WHOSE PARENTS BUY THEM THINGS OR HELP WITH SCHOOL, but think about the implications of the entitlement mentality. When did this become the norm?

So parents aren't entitled to get chores out of their kids? Or help & care when they get old and decrepit? You ARE entitled to certain things from your parents, just as parents are entitled certain things from their children. It's part of the nature of the relationship, and it's shameful when one side doesn't even make an effort to deliver.

I'm entitled to feed, shelter and love my children. I ask for chores to be done by them to teach them that cleaning a room or doing dishes are a part of life and as a simple "repayment" of the neccessities I provide them. Do you pay for the electric bill that your computer generates? Nope, your parents do. Do you pay for your public education? Nope, your parents do through taxes. Paying for college does not equal love and at 18yrs old you are no longer a child, you're an adult. As a parent, I don't have to pay or provide jack sh!t for you anymore!

 

[Brutuskend]

"I'm so mad at my mother. She's 102 years old and she called me up last week - said she wanted to borrow ten dollars for some food. I told her, 'Hey ... I work for a living.' So I lent her the money - had my secretary bring it down - and yesterday she calls me up and says she can't pay me back for a while ... I said, 'What is this bullsh!t?' ... So I worked it out with her. I'm gonna have her carry my barbells up to the attic." Steve Martin

 

[w0lfe]

I didn't read every single post, so I'm not sure if this has been suggested, but here's an idea:

Go to the university you want to go to (regardless of money). Get student loans to pay for tuition. After you graduate, file for bankruptcy. You're young. You can rebuild your credit

Just a thought if all else fails.

 

[VFAA]

Hey I'm on the same boat. I'm attending a $40,000 school, paying my own car $230 a month + $200 insurance + $50 Cable TV + $40 Cable ISP.

Life sucks when you got all this to pay on your own.

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: VFAA
Hey I'm on the same boat. I'm attending a $40,000 school, paying my own car $230 a month + $200 insurance + $50 Cable TV + $40 Cable ISP.

Life sucks when you got all this to pay on your own.

Wish my monthlies were that low. You don't even know.

 

[johnjohn320]

I guess I take it for granted that my parents will help cover tuition through my undergrad years (I'm still 16). I mean, I've never complained about that or anything, but still, it's just a fact that I'd gotten used to throughout my life: Parents will pay tuition through bachelor's, but I will cover living expenses and everything else, basically. When I go to grad school and start going for my masters and beyond (and I will), everything will be up to me.

I guess I'm lucky.

 

[Jfur]

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: Jfur

Originally posted by: Gonad the Barbarian

Originally posted by: Jfur
You know, I really disagree with the idea that parents SHOULD pay for a college education, a car, or virtually anything after one is old enough to work and has finished high school. If they can help out, that's great. But I find it odd that some people assume that their parents' assets are theirs, that they are *entitled* to inherit property, etc. Call me a hardass but giving people expectations like this leads to a lot of spoiled and lazy people who are not even motivated to find work after their college degree is done. Or feel like they work too hard to make a simple living once things are no longer free. I'M NOT SAYING THAT APPLIES TO ANYONE WHOSE PARENTS BUY THEM THINGS OR HELP WITH SCHOOL, but think about the implications of the entitlement mentality. When did this become the norm?

So parents aren't entitled to get chores out of their kids? Or help & care when they get old and decrepit? You ARE entitled to certain things from your parents, just as parents are entitled certain things from their children. It's part of the nature of the relationship, and it's shameful when one side doesn't even make an effort to deliver.

When did going to college (often apparently to get drunk and play computer games all day on the parents' dime) become a right? Parents do enough already rasing you for 18 years -- it takes a huge financial toll as well as a huge amount of time and energy. A lot of people don't even bother to do chores, and fewer and fewer care for aging parents. I'll certainly care for mine when they need help, but it's because I am thankful for their love and care during my childhood (even if they did not send me to college). I don't resent them for it in the least. If parents can and are willing to help, fine. But there is no way they are obligated legally or morally to do so. What are these generations of people who expect that going to do when the real world hits the fan? When the cushy IT jobs they feel entitled to don't come through? When Mom and Dad sell "your" house and go on a trip around the world (not that AmazonRasta's parents did that)?
etc. ad infinitum?

added: if we are doing our jobs as youth, we can do well enough in school to secure scholarships to cover at least part of our education. Or we can take on the burden of small loans. Most of the people who end up doing things like that come out way ahead in terms of work ethic and maturity. once again, I am NOT saying that people who don't work or pay for school at all are necessarily lazy or don't work hard -- it just seems that if you actually have to work for it you'll take it a lot more seriously.

jfur, i don't think you can definitively say whether one way or another is right. different strokes for different folks... you may not consider it a moral obligation, but others might. for example, i do a lot of website stuff for my mom.... am i morally obligated to do so? a lot of people would probably say no, but i believe that's part of my duty... my parents told me "education is the most important thing, don't worry about the money". a lot of their life has been devoted to making sure that my sister and i have opportunities that they didn't have. and i carry their same viewpoint... when i have children, i'm going to make sure that money will not get in the way of a good education for them. i don't want to have them distracted from their studies by monetary issues. i'm not a spoiled brat or whatever... if my parents stop paying for my school, i'll know that they really tried their hardest, but that's life. i'm eternally grateful to them for working so hard to give me a good life, and i try to show my gratitude by being a good son, etc.... also, part of the reason i have such a strong desire to succeed is so that i can take care of them when they get old. i mean, if it were just me, i think i would just settle for a normal life... but because my parents have been so kind to me, i really want to be rich, so i can buy them a nice big house, winnebago, etc.

i guess this was kind of rambly, but just thought i'd share my perspective.

Gopunk, I don't think you are taking advantage of or expecting too much of your parents, as I know that you work hard in your classes and also that you started college well before 18

Actually, I'd say making websites for your Mom *is* an obligation of sorts. And caring for parents when they age is also an obligation, even after "just" 18 years. In many cases (yes, even in the USA and certainly in parts of Asia) children work to help support the family in addition to going to school. It seems nowadays many people feel they are owed things by their parents and that they should have an eternity to "grow up" and explore. I think a parent also has a MORAL obligation not to spoil a child or give them unreasonable expectations, because it is not just the parent who ultimately sacrifices. The child and the rest of society are also burdened if people do not develop a strong work ethic and reasonable expectations about what it takes to live. So even if I were a billionaire, my children would do some work to help support their education, either through scholarships or working a few hours a week on campus. And although I am a strong advocate of higher education, I would never make a child feel like they *had* to go. For some people, it's not the right answer.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: Aceman

Originally posted by: Gonad the Barbarian

Originally posted by: Jfur
You know, I really disagree with the idea that parents SHOULD pay for a college education, a car, or virtually anything after one is old enough to work and has finished high school. If they can help out, that's great. But I find it odd that some people assume that their parents' assets are theirs, that they are *entitled* to inherit property, etc. Call me a hardass but giving people expectations like this leads to a lot of spoiled and lazy people who are not even motivated to find work after their college degree is done. Or feel like they work too hard to make a simple living once things are no longer free. I'M NOT SAYING THAT APPLIES TO ANYONE WHOSE PARENTS BUY THEM THINGS OR HELP WITH SCHOOL, but think about the implications of the entitlement mentality. When did this become the norm?

So parents aren't entitled to get chores out of their kids? Or help & care when they get old and decrepit? You ARE entitled to certain things from your parents, just as parents are entitled certain things from their children. It's part of the nature of the relationship, and it's shameful when one side doesn't even make an effort to deliver.

I'm entitled to feed, shelter and love my children. I ask for chores to be done by them to teach them that cleaning a room or doing dishes are a part of life and as a simple "repayment" of the neccessities I provide them. Do you pay for the electric bill that your computer generates? Nope, your parents do. Do you pay for your public education? Nope, your parents do through taxes. Paying for college does not equal love and at 18yrs old you are no longer a child, you're an adult. As a parent, I don't have to pay or provide jack sh!t for you anymore!

you don't have to, but wouldn't you want to?