I am a marriage n00b *pic included*

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Klixxer

Diamond Member
Apr 7, 2004
6,149
0
0
Originally posted by: Tates
Originally posted by: Klixxer
Originally posted by: Tates
Why would you consider something major like visiting Europe without your life partner?

A major memory source and you would not share it with her. Friends come and go....

Get over it, you're no longer single.
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No, he is no longer single, but does that mean that he is no longer allowed to have a life of his own?

*sigh* and people wonder why more than half of all marriages end with a divorce, when the younger generation becomes my age that will be more like 75%.

IF you are planning to stay married you will have to accept that you are both individuals and have a separate individual life and one life with eachother.

If a man can't have his time alone with his friends then the relationship is doomed from the start, same goes the other way around of course.

If your friends come and go, then you have no friends.
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Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Including Me.

Friends do come and go. That is a fact of life.

I happen to have a wonderful relationship with my wife. She is my best friend and lover. It would be a sacrifice to go to Europe without her.

If I were in a similiar situation, my wife would probably say "it's OK, go". I would choose not to go without my wife, and would tell my friends the same. If they were my friends, they would understand.

I spend all the time I want to with friends without my wife being present. She, in turn, does things without me. For the majority of us, going to Europe is not the same as going out for drinks.
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Of course you are entitled to your opinion, i am sorry if i came off as if you were not.

I have friends that don't come and go, it was a huge mistake not meeting them more when i was married, but when i got divorced they were there for me without question.

You are talking about you, not about him, he WANTS to go, you wouldn't want to go, there is a big difference there.

 
K

Klixxer

Diamond Member
Apr 7, 2004
6,149
0
0
Originally posted by: Doboji
Originally posted by: toekramp
Originally posted by: jjmIII
I'll stay home with her!
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i'll let her know, she'll probably want a resume/pics/crime record...:)
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You know what the really smart compromise is?... Get her a ticket to fly out for the weekend... meet her in venice or something... bring diamonds... accomplish freedom, friends, and romance all at the same time....

-Max
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Now that is a great idea, if you got the dough for it.
 
K

Klixxer

Diamond Member
Apr 7, 2004
6,149
0
0
Originally posted by: Doboji
Originally posted by: Klixxer
Originally posted by: weezergirl
I think it really depends on the people involved. For myself, holidays are a big deal AND i always spend it with family. If my SO left me to hang with his friends...yes...it would bother me. A lot of the people in this thread act like there's no possible way he can go any other time...a trip to Europe isn't exactly a once in a lifetime opportunity or something. Just wait til your wife can go (in the summertime perhaps?) or plan a trip with some of your other friends another time.

So yes, I do think you're being selfish if it bothers her.

Just to clarify, if it was any other time...I wouldn't mind letting my SO go to europe with his friends.

Another thing to point out is that your wife is pretty hot looking and I'm guessing she's a great girl. A lot of guys would give up anything to be with her. If you don't treat her right, it'd be so easy for her to find another guy who will.
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If that is what it comes down to she's not worth the effort anyway.

If she can't take him going on an 8 day trip with his friends then i don't care HOW good looking or great she is otherwise, if that means she will find another man, then she would have anyway, all she waited for was an excuse.

Let me tell you that the most common reason people break up is because they DON'T do things on their own, this "together all the time" BS is just that, BS, you are STILL two individuals living together, you don't become siamese twins who needs to spend ALL time together just because you are married.

If he WANTS to go he should go, end of story, if that makes her break up, then good riddance.
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EXACTLY.... Klixxer... if I hadn't already rated you a 10... I would rate you a 10 now...

-Max
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:beer: thank you.
 
K

Kaiser__Sose

Golden Member
Oct 14, 1999
1,660
0
0
if i were you i'd go.... either way she is going to be a little upset.. (provided she is like every other girl i have dealt with).. but me being me i would go anyway..
If it really bothers her that much she will let you know and you shouldn't go (ie if she is devastated and lets you know that she really does not want you to go)..
otherwise i would go.. it's a once in a lifetime thing for you.. and she should be happy that you are getting to experience something new. and don't worry if she is a little upset.. she'll get over it..

and bring her back something nice that she likes...
 
Turkish

Turkish

Lifer
May 26, 2003
15,547
1
81
Originally posted by: Tates
Originally posted by: Klixxer
Originally posted by: Tates
Why would you consider something major like visiting Europe without your life partner?

A major memory source and you would not share it with her. Friends come and go....

Get over it, you're no longer single.
Click to expand...

No, he is no longer single, but does that mean that he is no longer allowed to have a life of his own?

*sigh* and people wonder why more than half of all marriages end with a divorce, when the younger generation becomes my age that will be more like 75%.

IF you are planning to stay married you will have to accept that you are both individuals and have a separate individual life and one life with eachother.

If a man can't have his time alone with his friends then the relationship is doomed from the start, same goes the other way around of course.

If your friends come and go, then you have no friends.
Click to expand...

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Including Me.

Friends do come and go. That is a fact of life.

I happen to have a wonderful relationship with my wife. She is my best friend and lover. It would be a sacrifice to go to Europe without her.

If I were in a similiar situation, my wife would probably say "it's OK, go". I would choose not to go without my wife, and would tell my friends the same. If they were my friends, they would understand.

I spend all the time I want to with friends without my wife being present. She, in turn, does things without me. For the majority of us, going to Europe is not the same as going out for drinks.
Click to expand...

Real friends don't come and go man. At least not in my book.
 
T

toekramp

Diamond Member
Jun 30, 2001
8,426
2
0
Originally posted by: moshquerade
i say go. she is being selfish.
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in all fairness we just had that brief conversation, we really haven't talked about it since then. i figured i'd post here just to get some general responses cause i thought it was an interesting situation. but thanks for the response! :)
 
W

weezerdude

Senior member
Jul 24, 2000
338
0
71
listen brotha'man .. you actually can't go to europe without knowing the fact that it is gonna come back to you .. all of the things said here have some validity and truths... we really can't understand how you and your wife really are rite??? shi't if it was me, i would stay just because the fact that i believe in kharma and it will kick yo ass some other day 'round when you least expect it (as mentioned earlier by peers of Anandtech).. it may not be the same thing either... AN example:
'ahem. You come home from a hard days work to see your wife having wild kama sutra sex with some dood you called a best friend. You know something like that.

Kharma police man. Kharma police. Good luck with all of your adventures with married life. Peace out.

Originally posted by: mobobuff
Or does everyone think that a relationship should be chock full of double-standards in favor of the wife?
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Damn.. hahahaha I love this quote... :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer:
 
Tates

Tates

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Jun 25, 2000
9,079
10
81
Originally posted by: XietyCOM
Originally posted by: Tates
Originally posted by: Klixxer
Originally posted by: Tates
Why would you consider something major like visiting Europe without your life partner?

A major memory source and you would not share it with her. Friends come and go....

Get over it, you're no longer single.
Click to expand...

No, he is no longer single, but does that mean that he is no longer allowed to have a life of his own?

*sigh* and people wonder why more than half of all marriages end with a divorce, when the younger generation becomes my age that will be more like 75%.

IF you are planning to stay married you will have to accept that you are both individuals and have a separate individual life and one life with eachother.

If a man can't have his time alone with his friends then the relationship is doomed from the start, same goes the other way around of course.

If your friends come and go, then you have no friends.
Click to expand...

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Including Me.

Friends do come and go. That is a fact of life.

I happen to have a wonderful relationship with my wife. She is my best friend and lover. It would be a sacrifice to go to Europe without her.

If I were in a similiar situation, my wife would probably say "it's OK, go". I would choose not to go without my wife, and would tell my friends the same. If they were my friends, they would understand.

I spend all the time I want to with friends without my wife being present. She, in turn, does things without me. For the majority of us, going to Europe is not the same as going out for drinks.
Click to expand...

Real friends don't come and go man. At least not in my book.
Click to expand...

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for friends staying friends, but time has a way of straining relationships at points you never thought would be vulnerable.

Peace...:)

 
JImmyK

JImmyK

Golden Member
Oct 9, 1999
1,145
36
91
Justin? haha your fing kidding me, dude werent you at tech?

what a small world, anyways yeah women are always unreasonable.

did you like that win today 63-0 haha
 
DrPizza

DrPizza

Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
Mar 5, 2001
49,601
167
111
www.slatebrookfarm.com
Originally posted by: frankierx
Originally posted by: DAGTA
I'd rather wait and go with my wife some other time, so I could experience Europe with her.
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I second that notion. :thumbsup:
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thirded..

For what it's worth (and I'm not reading all the other posts), taking separate vacations is just fine.... BUT, not during the first few years of marriage, (certainly not 8 day vacations)
Later, as you have your own hobbies, it might be okay to take vacations separately, as long as you also take vacations together.. examples would be if you hunted and went on a guided hunting trip someplace with some buddies... or if she wanted to go shopping at the biggest mall in the world with some of her friends..
(I advise you to go with her on that trip... or you'll be in debt up to your eyeballs!)
 
T

toekramp

Diamond Member
Jun 30, 2001
8,426
2
0
Originally posted by: JImmyK
Justin? haha your fing kidding me, dude werent you at tech?

what a small world, anyways yeah women are always unreasonable.

did you like that win today 63-0 haha
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holy christ :) jimmy from soccer :)
 
erikistired

erikistired

Diamond Member
Sep 27, 2000
9,739
0
0
apparently you are retarded and if you don't wise up quickly your wife is going to leave you for another man who won't spend holidays away from her.

just passed my 4 year mark and i'm not sure how i've managed to stay married this long, and i KNOW better than to do stuff like that.
 
T

toekramp

Diamond Member
Jun 30, 2001
8,426
2
0
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: frankierx
Originally posted by: DAGTA
I'd rather wait and go with my wife some other time, so I could experience Europe with her.
Click to expand...

I second that notion. :thumbsup:
Click to expand...

thirded..

For what it's worth (and I'm not reading all the other posts), taking separate vacations is just fine.... BUT, not during the first few years of marriage, (certainly not 8 day vacations)
Later, as you have your own hobbies, it might be okay to take vacations separately, as long as you also take vacations together.. examples would be if you hunted and went on a guided hunting trip someplace with some buddies... or if she wanted to go shopping at the biggest mall in the world with some of her friends..
(I advise you to go with her on that trip... or you'll be in debt up to your eyeballs!)
Click to expand...


while i understand your viewpoint, i still think this is a unique situation where a couple of my friends that live in turkey have this one chance to make the trip. if i could rearrange it so it'd happen when hannah could go I would do it in a heart beat. this isn't going to be the last opportunity i have to go to europe, i realize this. hell she talks about moving there all the time. so yes it may seem unreasonable to be gone for Thanksgiving, I think it's equally as unreasonable to turn down this opportunity when I have 70 bagillion thanksgivings and holidays in front of me.
 
T

toekramp

Diamond Member
Jun 30, 2001
8,426
2
0
Originally posted by: fisher
apparently you are retarded and if you don't wise up quickly your wife is going to leave you for another man who won't spend holidays away from her.

just passed my 4 year mark and i'm not sure how i've managed to stay married this long, and i KNOW better than to do stuff like that.
Click to expand...

:confused:
 
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