laugh, just by reading the title and subtitle, of course the answer is yes.
wives do not wish you to be having any fun unless they are present. play a video game, they will come in and vacuum/read. plan a trip to australia, they will contract hepatitis A and suddenly need you to stay home and take care of them.
hypothetically, of course...
wives do not wish you to be having any fun unless they are present. play a video game, they will come in and vacuum/read. plan a trip to australia, they will contract hepatitis A and suddenly need you to stay home and take care of them.
hypothetically, of course...
Originally posted by: toekramp
Over Thanksgiving a couple of my friends (one of them XietyCom) are going to be making a 8 day trip to Europe. I, of coure, invited myself and my wife to go along since she loves Europe and I've never been. Well apparently she isn't allowed to take vacation days since she's a teacher and they get all sorts of breaks. So I said I would just go, which of course I got the response "What you'd rather spend Thanksgiving with them than me..." so i said "Well, yes it is Europe" Anyways she didn't like that...
Am I being unreasonable? Is this something I need to accept as part of married life? It's not a huge issue between us I'm just trying to adjust to this whole 'dependence' thing
cliff notes:
wife can't go to europe, i still want to
does that make me suck
NEVER EVER forget what comes around goes around and although I am not a gambling man normally, I would bet this will come back and bite you in the a$$ BIG TIME.
It may not be tomorrow
It may not be next week, next month or next year but you will pay....oh yes you will pay, and believe me when I say she will drag this one out for a while....
just for sh!ts and giggles go, then when you get back do weekly updates on how you and the misses are getting along over the next year...would be interesting.
Think about it like this.
Think about the biggest way you feel loved/appreciated by your wife. Everyone has that aspect - whether it be time she spends with you, things she does for you, how she treats you in front of other people,etc. Consider this your "love language." This is how your wife shows that she loves you and how your feel appreciated. Even if you feel like you don't have that - you do - either youre in denial or you don't know yourself well enough.
Now imagine your wife screwing you and not doing this anymore. Not just stopping it alltogether but going one step further and mistreating you in that area. That's pretty much what you're doing here and that's why your wife is pissed/sad. Whether you mean it or not, you're telling her to "screw off." In marriage, you gotta learn to speak the same "love language." Learn hers and married life will be much easier for you.
Think about the biggest way you feel loved/appreciated by your wife. Everyone has that aspect - whether it be time she spends with you, things she does for you, how she treats you in front of other people,etc. Consider this your "love language." This is how your wife shows that she loves you and how your feel appreciated. Even if you feel like you don't have that - you do - either youre in denial or you don't know yourself well enough.
Now imagine your wife screwing you and not doing this anymore. Not just stopping it alltogether but going one step further and mistreating you in that area. That's pretty much what you're doing here and that's why your wife is pissed/sad. Whether you mean it or not, you're telling her to "screw off." In marriage, you gotta learn to speak the same "love language." Learn hers and married life will be much easier for you.
I spent five minutes working up a post using an example from my own experience, but I felt the meaning would get lost.
But it boils down to this:
Successful marriage = compromise. Don't keep score, just accept it. If you're not willing to do that, you probably shouldn't be married.
But it boils down to this:
Successful marriage = compromise. Don't keep score, just accept it. If you're not willing to do that, you probably shouldn't be married.
Geekbabe
Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
I've been to Europe, it was one of the most fabulous times of my life and one I think every adult should experience.
If you were my husband I'd be packing for you and driving you to the airport.
If you were my husband I'd be packing for you and driving you to the airport.
StageLeft
No Lifer
- Sep 29, 2000
- 70,150
- 5
- 0
I would "allow" my wife to go if we were both in that situation. I'm not so self-centered to think that thanksgiving with me is better than a trip to Europe. Your wife is, or she's jealous that you get a nice trip and she sits at home alone. Of course you can't say that to her - that Europe is better, flat out to her face, but it obviously is. She knows it and you know it. She is being selfish, but if she puts up a big fuss I'd probably just forget about the trip and drink as much as possible over that weekend to spit her
Originally posted by: Skoorb
I would "allow" my wife to go if we were both in that situation. I'm not so self-centered to think that thanksgiving with me is better than a trip to Europe. Your wife is, or she's jealous that you get a nice trip and she sits at home alone. Of course you can't say that to her - that Europe is better, flat out to her face, but it obviously is. She knows it and you know it. She is being selfish, but if she puts up a big fuss I'd probably just forget about the trip and drink as much as possible over that weekend to spit her
What do you care......... your Canadian and you egt 2 thanksgivings
Cheers,
Aquaman
i'm not married but thanksgiving is a fake holiday anyways.........
yeah lets get together and feast because we slaughtered native americans who kept us alive. woot!
yeah lets get together and feast because we slaughtered native americans who kept us alive. woot!
So you would rather spend thanksgiving with XietyCOM than your wife?
This is a sad state of affairs indeed...
Ok contrary to the other people here I don't think your selfish for wanting to go. I also don't believe that you must give up your entire life and become a couple 100% of the time. In fact I think it is extremely unhealthy in a relationship to not have some alone time.
Would I go to Europe? Well if it was a real opportunity then yes. Meaning it was a great deal not likely to happen. Or a trip I won or something. But if I wa spaying out of my pocket the same amount I would any other time then why not wait.
You are a grown up and should be able to make decisions as a grown up. Your wife should be as well. She should be able to see that it is selfish(but understandable) that she wants you to stay home.
If you do decide not to go for whatever reason you can turn this into mucho bonus points for you. Make her dinner each night that you would have been away. First night French food and wine music etc. Next night italian. German etc etc. Do it up right with music and picture CD's on the TV with sights fromt he country etc.
In case anyone was wondering I have been happily married for 6 years now. My wife is my partner not my boss.
Would I go to Europe? Well if it was a real opportunity then yes. Meaning it was a great deal not likely to happen. Or a trip I won or something. But if I wa spaying out of my pocket the same amount I would any other time then why not wait.
You are a grown up and should be able to make decisions as a grown up. Your wife should be as well. She should be able to see that it is selfish(but understandable) that she wants you to stay home.
If you do decide not to go for whatever reason you can turn this into mucho bonus points for you. Make her dinner each night that you would have been away. First night French food and wine music etc. Next night italian. German etc etc. Do it up right with music and picture CD's on the TV with sights fromt he country etc.
In case anyone was wondering I have been happily married for 6 years now. My wife is my partner not my boss.
NAhhh you're incorrect...
First mistake: You got married
Second Mistake: You told her you were going to europe, you should have called her from europe to tell her you were there.
Third Mistake: asking for female related advice on ATOT
-Max
since she has never been there, I'd suggest waiting to go when she's available, so you two can experience it together
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