How much to give for a wedding...

[Looney]

Well, not everyone can afford $500-1000 for cash/gifts. Many people live paycheck-to-paycheck and even $25 is a stretch. And the cost of my dinner has NEVER been a consideration for the cost of my gift to the couple. It's the level of my friendship with them. And that's all that should matter. Yeah, I do believe in some minimum. If I'm invited to a wedding for someone I don't know that well, I'd give something worth at least $25. If it was my best friend? Heck, I might be willing to go way overboard and give several hundred...who knows?

Why would you get invited to a wedding of somebody you don't know very well? Maybe it's just me, but the weddings i've been to were all family or very close friends of mine.

Gift-giving is not a counting contest! It's giving from the heart. I suppose you count pennies when you give Christmas/birthday gifts?

You're the cheapass... yet you think i'm the one that count pennies for xmas and birthday gifts???

 

[FeathersMcGraw]

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Are you really that clueless? What's the average cost of a meal for a wedding? $50-100. You don't NEED to give exact change you know. If i'm invited to somebody's wedding... it's typically because i'm important enough in their life that they want me to celebrate with them. I'm not going to be a cheapass and try to figure out how much the meal is going to cost and give accordingly. I said MINIMUM should be what you ESTIMATE the cost of dinner is going to be. I would say we give typically 500-1000 at weddings when you adjust the cash and gifts.

I can't help but think that this whole tirade was just an excuse for you to flaunt your largesse.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: optoman
Most of you people are cheap. Our wedding was not that spectacular and the cost includes everything down to the donations to the church and tipping everyone. Her parents paid for most of it and the money we got is going to our future as a couple. If we wouldn't of had the wedding and done the Vegas thing her parents would of just given us the money instead of doing the wedding. We actaully took a gamble with using the money for the wedding. Everyone that went had a great time and we didn't have any no shows. How many of you have every been to a wedding where everyone showed up? Most of the money is actually going for a down payment for a house that we are buying right now. Yes, you go in to a wedding expecting not to get anything but come on people. It is hard for a couple to get started off these days.

BS! Not everyone has to live in a house and use wedding gift money as a down payment. Hell, I was married 10 years before I got my first house.

The wedding is a stepping stone. I don't know of anyone that gets married and says we don't need your money, just keep it. If they do they are just rich bastards. If you plan on going to a wedding please give at least the cost of the meal and more if you can. Some people can't and that is understandable. We had friends give us over $200 per person in cash and gifts and they were still in college. We will remember that when they get married and spend more on them.

My mother always told me to be generous with the money you have in life. It doesn't do any good if you can't share it and enjoy it with friends and family.

Again, BS! If someone says "don't give us money, we just appreciate you sharing in our joy" it doesn't mean they are rich bastards. It means they truly don't put a monetary value on friendship. But I do agree with your last statement there.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Well, not everyone can afford $500-1000 for cash/gifts. Many people live paycheck-to-paycheck and even $25 is a stretch. And the cost of my dinner has NEVER been a consideration for the cost of my gift to the couple. It's the level of my friendship with them. And that's all that should matter. Yeah, I do believe in some minimum. If I'm invited to a wedding for someone I don't know that well, I'd give something worth at least $25. If it was my best friend? Heck, I might be willing to go way overboard and give several hundred...who knows?

Why would you get invited to a wedding of somebody you don't know very well? Maybe it's just me, but the weddings i've been to were all family or very close friends of mine.

It happens <shrug>

Gift-giving is not a counting contest! It's giving from the heart. I suppose you count pennies when you give Christmas/birthday gifts?

You're the cheapass... yet you think i'm the one that count pennies for xmas and birthday gifts???

And, again, why do you think I'm a cheapass? Where have I ever said I gave a cheap gift or little or no money? You just sound like another materialistic buffoon.

 

[optoman]

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN

Originally posted by: optoman
We got married last year and I can tell you some people are cheap. The average cost per person for our wedding was around $100. We got anywhere from $200 to $25 per person back. That's from people who didn't give us gifts. We had one couple give us a candle, yes a candle that cost about $15. :|

Please give atleast $100 per person. If you know the wedding costs more or less then adjust accordingly. There are some people that can't afford to give much and we understood that but those people actually were giving more than most people at our wedding. The cheap people people were the ones that have money but won't part with it.

BTW - Our wedding cost around $20K but we made it back with the combination of presents and cash.

Ummm why do u expect your guests to pay for your wedding..if you cant afford to get married in a big weddign why did you?

we didnt get married til we had enough saved up to pay it all ourselves and the same went for when we had chiildren..we didnt have any until we could afford them...this is strange to me to hav ur 'guests' pay for YOUR wedding...

maybe its a cultural thing...or im dumb

Lol, we didn't have a big wedding. I think we had about 125 people plus the band and clergy. The dinner was $75 which included the cake. The alcohol was about $2K and the place we had our reception let us bring our own and didn't charge us an open bottle fee. We also go to take all the alcohol home afterwards. We now have a nice bar.

We had an excellent wedding and everyone had a great time. The food was great and everyone still tells us we had one of the best weddings they have ever been to. The only problem we had with it was that we ran out of Jim Bean and had to use some Jack Daniels instead. There is no cost limit on getting my family together and have a kick ass night with all the people I love. We didn't expect to make as much as we did but some of the people are just really cheap. Come on, a frickin candle and you make over $100K.

 

[Looney]

Originally posted by: FeathersMcGraw

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Are you really that clueless? What's the average cost of a meal for a wedding? $50-100. You don't NEED to give exact change you know. If i'm invited to somebody's wedding... it's typically because i'm important enough in their life that they want me to celebrate with them. I'm not going to be a cheapass and try to figure out how much the meal is going to cost and give accordingly. I said MINIMUM should be what you ESTIMATE the cost of dinner is going to be. I would say we give typically 500-1000 at weddings when you adjust the cash and gifts.

I can't help but think that this whole tirade was just an excuse for you to flaunt your largesse.

I only go to weddings every few years... and they've always been close family or really close friends. So yes, i give a lot.

EDIT: i also said WE... i didn't say 'I' give that much, but i go as a family... so when we give, it's typically one big present with one big cash envelope by the 'xxxx family'.

And, again, why do you think I'm a cheapass? Where have I ever said I gave a cheap gift or little or no money? You just sound like another materialistic buffoon.

$25 for a wedding gift? Are you kidding? It should at least cover the cost of the dinner. Maybe i am materialistic, but then nobody will ever label me ungrateful or inconsiderate.

 

[pulse8]

Come on, a frickin candle and you make over $100K.

Maybe they just don't like you.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Originally posted by: FeathersMcGraw

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Are you really that clueless? What's the average cost of a meal for a wedding? $50-100. You don't NEED to give exact change you know. If i'm invited to somebody's wedding... it's typically because i'm important enough in their life that they want me to celebrate with them. I'm not going to be a cheapass and try to figure out how much the meal is going to cost and give accordingly. I said MINIMUM should be what you ESTIMATE the cost of dinner is going to be. I would say we give typically 500-1000 at weddings when you adjust the cash and gifts.

I can't help but think that this whole tirade was just an excuse for you to flaunt your largesse.

I only go to weddings every few years... and they've always been close family or really close friends. So yes, i give a lot.

And, again, why do you think I'm a cheapass? Where have I ever said I gave a cheap gift or little or no money? You just sound like another materialistic buffoon.

$25 for a wedding gift? Are you kidding? It should at least cover the cost of the dinner. Maybe i am materialistic, but then nobody will ever label me ungrateful or inconsiderate.

And if the wedding was a very simple one and it was for someone I don't know that much?

Not everyone attends 'high society' weddings held at some church in mid-town Manhattan with a reception at Smith and Wollensky's. There are many weddings that take place in the country in people's backyards with dinner being cooked by friends/family.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: pulse8

Come on, a frickin candle and you make over $100K.

Maybe they just don't like you.

BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!

 

[Saltin]

I'm getting married this September, let me tell you guys who don't know already, they cost an arm and a leg. It's staggering.

I would think as a rule, you would want to cover whatever you consume.

Depending on how fancy the joint is, the food will cost more or less per plate. Try to estimate the amount. If it's an open bar and you intend to drink, consider that too.

Consider $100 per person a good start. If you're young and don't have a job, it can be less, but if you're ok for money, cover the expense of having you at least!

 

[Looney]

Originally posted by: conjur

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Originally posted by: FeathersMcGraw

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Are you really that clueless? What's the average cost of a meal for a wedding? $50-100. You don't NEED to give exact change you know. If i'm invited to somebody's wedding... it's typically because i'm important enough in their life that they want me to celebrate with them. I'm not going to be a cheapass and try to figure out how much the meal is going to cost and give accordingly. I said MINIMUM should be what you ESTIMATE the cost of dinner is going to be. I would say we give typically 500-1000 at weddings when you adjust the cash and gifts.

I can't help but think that this whole tirade was just an excuse for you to flaunt your largesse.

I only go to weddings every few years... and they've always been close family or really close friends. So yes, i give a lot.

And, again, why do you think I'm a cheapass? Where have I ever said I gave a cheap gift or little or no money? You just sound like another materialistic buffoon.

$25 for a wedding gift? Are you kidding? It should at least cover the cost of the dinner. Maybe i am materialistic, but then nobody will ever label me ungrateful or inconsiderate.

And if the wedding was a very simple one and it was for someone I don't know that much?

Not everyone attends 'high society' weddings held at some church in mid-town Manhattan with a reception at Smith and Wollensky's. There are many weddings that take place in the country in people's backyards with dinner being cooked by friends/family.

Well, like i said... i don't give based on how much i think the meal is going to cost... i just said that as a MINIMUM it should be that much. I'll give the same gift if it was in a fancy hall as if it was held in the country.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: Saltin
I'm getting married this September, let me tell you guys who don't know already, they cost an arm and a leg. It's staggering.

I would think as a rule, you would want to cover whatever you consume.

Depending on how fancy the joint is, the food will cost more or less per plate. Try to estimate the amount. If it's an open bar and you intend to drink, consider that too.

Consider $100 per person a good start. If you're young and don't have a job, it can be less, but if you're ok for money, cover the expense of having you at least!

So, have your parents and your bride's parents chip in and/or scale back. I mean, sheesh, what is it with people looking to 'recoup costs' of a wedding?

I will be marrying off two daughters and I can tell you I do not expect guests to help cover the cost of the weddings. The weddings will be whatever I can afford to provide and maybe a little more. As long as my daughters are happy then nothing else matters.

 

[optoman]

Originally posted by: conjur

Originally posted by: pulse8

Come on, a frickin candle and you make over $100K.

Maybe they just don't like you.

BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!

No, they are just cheap. Relatives of the wife and they stiffed another cousin a fee years earlier, just gave them a card.

BS! Not everyone has to live in a house and use wedding gift money as a down payment. Hell, I was married 10 years before I got my first house.

Try saving for a home in the Boston area and its not going to happen. Rent is $1500, mass is second in the country for taxes and fees. Too damn expensive to live here. We are moving back to Rochester, NY and our mortgage is going to be less than $600 a month. It makes no sense to rent again when we can get a kick ass house for about $120K. In the Boston area the $120K would be a down payment and the cut in salary is only about 25%.

I have been with my wife for about 5 years and married for about 6 months. We were engaged for about 20 months before the wedding. Like I said, her parents would of given us the money instead of having the wedding. We opted for the wedding and it was the best day of our lives. We had people flying in from Japan to upstate NY just for the wedding. He even gave a couple hundred. We got to see all our friends from college, it was just awesome.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

Well, like i said... i don't give based on how much i think the meal is going to cost... i just said that as a MINIMUM it should be that much. I'll give the same gift if it was in a fancy hall as if it was held in the country.

Then we'll just have to agree to disagree.

 

[Chess]

CHEAP is the key word,

it is sad, i go with my family and if its a close friend we give anywhere from 50-150, if its a relative or family member we give anywhere to 150-300.
My family is a big beliver in weddings, thank god only one person in our families combined has been divorced.

People dont realize that alot of people pay for the wedding out of there own pockets!

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: optoman

Originally posted by: conjur

Originally posted by: pulse8

Come on, a frickin candle and you make over $100K.

Maybe they just don't like you.

BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!

No, they are just cheap. Relatives of the wife and they stiffed another cousin a fee years earlier, just gave them a card.

So don't invite them if they have a history of giving cheap gifts and you expect something from everyone.

BS! Not everyone has to live in a house and use wedding gift money as a down payment. Hell, I was married 10 years before I got my first house.

Try saving for a home in the Boston area and its not going to happen. Rent is $1500, mass is second in the country for taxes and fees. Too damn expensive to live here. We are moving back to Rochester, NY and our mortgage is going to be less than $600 a month. It makes no sense to rent again when we can get a kick ass house for about $120K. In the Boston area the $120K would be a down payment and the cut in salary is only about 25%.

I have been with my wife for about 5 years and married for about 6 months. We were engaged for about 20 months before the wedding. Like I said, her parents would of given us the money instead of having the wedding. We opted for the wedding and it was the best day of our lives. We had people flying in from Japan to upstate NY just for the wedding. He even gave a couple hundred. We got to see all our friends from college, it was just awesome.

[/quote]
The cost of living where you are doesn't matter to me. I've a friend in Seattle who just recently was able to buy a condo (and he makes darn good money as a Network Administrator). He'll be getting married next year and the two of them plan on buying a house. I'm sure my gift to him will be substantial because he's a good friend, not because he may put Prime Rib on my plate or he needs help buying a home.

I'm glad you had a great time at your wedding but, come on! You can't expect to use wedding gift bounty to buy a house! Oh, and btw, it's "would have", not "would of".

 

[RossMAN]

Create a poll

$100

 

[dirtboy]

Nothing over $2.

 

[dirtboy]

Originally posted by: optoman
We got married last year and I can tell you some people are cheap. The average cost per person for our wedding was around $100. We got anywhere from $200 to $25 per person back. That's from people who didn't give us gifts. We had one couple give us a candle, yes a candle that cost about $15. :|

Please give atleast $100 per person. If you know the wedding costs more or less then adjust accordingly. There are some people that can't afford to give much and we understood that but those people actually were giving more than most people at our wedding. The cheap people people were the ones that have money but won't part with it.

BTW - Our wedding cost around $20K but we made it back with the combination of presents and cash.

If you couldn't afford a fancy wedding maybe you shouldn't have had one. Talk about greedy... you invite people and expect them to pay for your ceremony. Jeez. They were there to celebrate your wedding, not pay for it.

 

[Wolverine27]

Originally posted by: optoman
We got married last year and I can tell you some people are cheap. The average cost per person for our wedding was around $100. We got anywhere from $200 to $25 per person back. That's from people who didn't give us gifts. We had one couple give us a candle, yes a candle that cost about $15. :|

Please give atleast $100 per person. If you know the wedding costs more or less then adjust accordingly. There are some people that can't afford to give much and we understood that but those people actually were giving more than most people at our wedding. The cheap people people were the ones that have money but won't part with it.

BTW - Our wedding cost around $20K but we made it back with the combination of presents and cash.

I think you're confused. You don't invite people to weddings to see what kind of gifts you can get. You invite guests because you want them to celebrate with you.

 

[blakeatwork]

Originally posted by: conjur

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

What..supposed to ask the bride/groom how much the 'per head' is??

Not me...I give based on how well I know the bride/groom, not on how elaborate the wedding is. I mean, an elaborate wedding (or any wedding for that matter) is the responsibility of the bride/groom and their parents.

Some of you guys are really cheap bastards. I would think MINIMUM would be how much you think the cost of dinner is (and yes, you can estimate it... you don't need to ask). Thankfully my parents didn't raise me to be cheapasses, so when we go to weddings, we give both a nice present for their new life together, and money to at least cover the dinner.

Maybe it's just the way I was raised and the way I think but I wouldn't expect someone to give me a gift equal to the cost of their dinner at my wedding reception. I get a greater joy at seeing family/friends join me in celebration than I do at counting pennies. Like I said before, the cost of a wedding is the responsibility of the bride/groom and their parents, not the guests.

And, just because someone getting married wants to serve Porterhouse Steak and Lobster doesn't mean I need to pay for my dinner. I give a gift I think the couple will enjoy (or select from the registry). It may be more than dinner, it may be less. But, they will know it was something I thought they would enjoy and I'm sure they won't worry if I was shy a few dollars of my cost for having been there to celebrate their joy.

Besides, is every guest supposed to know the cost of their dinner? Is every guest to be supplied with a full invoice of the costs of the wedding? And how is every guest supposed to even know what is even going to be served for dinner?

Have you ever actually planned a wedding, or had to budget for one???

I'm in the midst of planning mine, aqnd even going "cheap" it's still going to be fairly expensive. We don't expect everyone to be dropping 50's in our hat at the end of the night, but we do know what each person will generally give, based on what we know of them. Outsde of the cost of a Pavillion, DJ, bartender and minister to administer the wedding, there's still cost of food, porta-potty rentals (we're having an outdoor reception at my fiance's parents), event insurance, bridal gown, my Armour (handmade by the way), and other assorted little things that crop up, like photographer andcatering staff....

It'll be a great time, and I'm sure everyone will enjoy a wedding that's not so stuffy as typical ones (medieval theme), but the money that could conceivably go into this, would be nuts..

 

[Wolverine27]

Originally posted by: pulse8

Originally posted by: optoman
We got married last year and I can tell you some people are cheap. The average cost per person for our wedding was around $100. We got anywhere from $200 to $25 per person back. That's from people who didn't give us gifts. We had one couple give us a candle, yes a candle that cost about $15. :|

Please give atleast $100 per person. If you know the wedding costs more or less then adjust accordingly. There are some people that can't afford to give much and we understood that but those people actually were giving more than most people at our wedding. The cheap people people were the ones that have money but won't part with it.

BTW - Our wedding cost around $20K but we made it back with the combination of presents and cash.

You should've just charged a cover to get in.

LOL! Add a minimum gift requirement on the invitations as well...and voila...you've just turned a wedding into a profit machine!!!

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: blakeatwork

Originally posted by: conjur

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

What..supposed to ask the bride/groom how much the 'per head' is??

Not me...I give based on how well I know the bride/groom, not on how elaborate the wedding is. I mean, an elaborate wedding (or any wedding for that matter) is the responsibility of the bride/groom and their parents.

Some of you guys are really cheap bastards. I would think MINIMUM would be how much you think the cost of dinner is (and yes, you can estimate it... you don't need to ask). Thankfully my parents didn't raise me to be cheapasses, so when we go to weddings, we give both a nice present for their new life together, and money to at least cover the dinner.

Maybe it's just the way I was raised and the way I think but I wouldn't expect someone to give me a gift equal to the cost of their dinner at my wedding reception. I get a greater joy at seeing family/friends join me in celebration than I do at counting pennies. Like I said before, the cost of a wedding is the responsibility of the bride/groom and their parents, not the guests.

And, just because someone getting married wants to serve Porterhouse Steak and Lobster doesn't mean I need to pay for my dinner. I give a gift I think the couple will enjoy (or select from the registry). It may be more than dinner, it may be less. But, they will know it was something I thought they would enjoy and I'm sure they won't worry if I was shy a few dollars of my cost for having been there to celebrate their joy.

Besides, is every guest supposed to know the cost of their dinner? Is every guest to be supplied with a full invoice of the costs of the wedding? And how is every guest supposed to even know what is even going to be served for dinner?

Have you ever actually planned a wedding, or had to budget for one???

I'm in the midst of planning mine, aqnd even going "cheap" it's still going to be fairly expensive. We don't expect everyone to be dropping 50's in our hat at the end of the night, but we do know what each person will generally give, based on what we know of them. Outsde of the cost of a Pavillion, DJ, bartender and minister to administer the wedding, there's still cost of food, porta-potty rentals (we're having an outdoor reception at my fiance's parents), event insurance, bridal gown, my Armour (handmade by the way), and other assorted little things that crop up, like photographer andcatering staff....

It'll be a great time, and I'm sure everyone will enjoy a wedding that's not so stuffy as typical ones (medieval theme), but the money that could conceivably go into this, would be nuts..

So...you're doling out lots of cash to have a memorable wedding but instead of relishing what will be great memories, you're more worried about your bank account balance when it's finished?

No sympathy here.

Go elope if you're worried about money. Get married at the county courthouse.

Either enjoy the wedding and forget the cost or sit and worry yourself to death wondering if Susie and Bob will pony up their 'share' of the cost.

 

[optoman]

Originally posted by: dirtboy

Originally posted by: optoman
We got married last year and I can tell you some people are cheap. The average cost per person for our wedding was around $100. We got anywhere from $200 to $25 per person back. That's from people who didn't give us gifts. We had one couple give us a candle, yes a candle that cost about $15. :|

Please give atleast $100 per person. If you know the wedding costs more or less then adjust accordingly. There are some people that can't afford to give much and we understood that but those people actually were giving more than most people at our wedding. The cheap people people were the ones that have money but won't part with it.

BTW - Our wedding cost around $20K but we made it back with the combination of presents and cash.

If you couldn't afford a fancy wedding maybe you shouldn't have had one. Talk about greedy... you invite people and expect them to pay for your ceremony. Jeez. They were there to celebrate your wedding, not pay for it.

Like I said before, we didn't expect to make the money back. We did and it was a bonus. Do you people honestly think that people who throw weddings don't expect to get some money and gifts back from the people? The people giving the wedding will typically know who can't give a gift or money because of their financial situation but then there are others who just don't give squat but expect it back in return.

The wedding is a day to celebrate the joining of two people and to start a new life. The couple tries to have a nice reception and hopes everyone has a good time. It is extremely helpful to give them a headstart on life and get them going in the right direction. Most people only get one shot at their wedding and they want it to be the best possible. Most young couples don't have much money and with the economy being in the crapper, its even harder to get a good start.

WE DIDN'T EXPECT TO GET ENOUGH MONEY FOR A DOWN PAYMENT ON A HOUSE!!!

 

[blakeatwork]

Originally posted by: conjur

Originally posted by: blakeatwork

Originally posted by: conjur

Originally posted by: Moralpanic

What..supposed to ask the bride/groom how much the 'per head' is??

Not me...I give based on how well I know the bride/groom, not on how elaborate the wedding is. I mean, an elaborate wedding (or any wedding for that matter) is the responsibility of the bride/groom and their parents.

Some of you guys are really cheap bastards. I would think MINIMUM would be how much you think the cost of dinner is (and yes, you can estimate it... you don't need to ask). Thankfully my parents didn't raise me to be cheapasses, so when we go to weddings, we give both a nice present for their new life together, and money to at least cover the dinner.

Maybe it's just the way I was raised and the way I think but I wouldn't expect someone to give me a gift equal to the cost of their dinner at my wedding reception. I get a greater joy at seeing family/friends join me in celebration than I do at counting pennies. Like I said before, the cost of a wedding is the responsibility of the bride/groom and their parents, not the guests.

And, just because someone getting married wants to serve Porterhouse Steak and Lobster doesn't mean I need to pay for my dinner. I give a gift I think the couple will enjoy (or select from the registry). It may be more than dinner, it may be less. But, they will know it was something I thought they would enjoy and I'm sure they won't worry if I was shy a few dollars of my cost for having been there to celebrate their joy.

Besides, is every guest supposed to know the cost of their dinner? Is every guest to be supplied with a full invoice of the costs of the wedding? And how is every guest supposed to even know what is even going to be served for dinner?

Have you ever actually planned a wedding, or had to budget for one???

I'm in the midst of planning mine, aqnd even going "cheap" it's still going to be fairly expensive. We don't expect everyone to be dropping 50's in our hat at the end of the night, but we do know what each person will generally give, based on what we know of them. Outsde of the cost of a Pavillion, DJ, bartender and minister to administer the wedding, there's still cost of food, porta-potty rentals (we're having an outdoor reception at my fiance's parents), event insurance, bridal gown, my Armour (handmade by the way), and other assorted little things that crop up, like photographer andcatering staff....

It'll be a great time, and I'm sure everyone will enjoy a wedding that's not so stuffy as typical ones (medieval theme), but the money that could conceivably go into this, would be nuts..

So...you're doling out lots of cash to have a memorable wedding but instead of relishing what will be great memories, you're more worried about your bank account balance when it's finished?

No sympathy here.

Go elope if you're worried about money. Get married at the county courthouse.

Either enjoy the wedding and forget the cost or sit and worry yourself to death wondering if Susie and Bob will pony up their 'share' of the cost.

No, the whole point is that we're not, as our theme lends itself to a conservative budget...

my other point is that if you haven't planned one, don't be so judgemental of those who have.... it's amazing what type of things you forget, and then suddenly find in your lap, that are reuired... it's like getting nickle and dimed for car repairs..