dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
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I got married 4 years ago. The vast majority of gifts were in the $25 range. Close relatives gave $50-$100. Aquantances I barely knew gave ~$10-$15. These $100+ figures so far in this thread are highly unrealistic.
Since you know these people personally, but aren't good friends, I'd feel $20-$30 is appropriate.
Since you know these people personally, but aren't good friends, I'd feel $20-$30 is appropriate.
What..supposed to ask the bride/groom how much the 'per head' is??
Not me...I give based on how well I know the bride/groom, not on how elaborate the wedding is. I mean, an elaborate wedding (or any wedding for that matter) is the responsibility of the bride/groom and their parents.
Indeed, wtf are you thinking spending $20k on a wedding and expecting all the guest to reimburse your ugrateful ass. People come to your wedding because you invited them, they DONT have to come, they DONT have to pay for there meal, they DONT have to give you a gift. If you get anything be happy and stfu!
Next time try having our wedding ceremony at taco bell?
the average dinner per person at a wedding is $100. but why not get something that's listed in the gift registry? that's what it's there for. you won't ever hear the bride and groom saying, 'oh what a cheap s.o.b....he got us what we wanted.' but you WILL hear them say, 'oh what a cheap s.o.b....a cheque for $18 dollars!'
dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
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Where the hell do you find a restaurant/caterer that charges that much? I spent $4.75 per person at my wedding for a great meal. That included the rent for the reception hall. The most fancy weddings I've ever been to were charged $12.50 per person...
$106. Oh wait this isn't an auction damn
I think it depends on tradtion if you should give gifts or money. I think if you are italian people give money straight up.
I watched some MTV special and hte guy said they needed 150 per person to make the money back. I think the wedding cost 45G's
Im planning my wedding right now and its gonna be about $75 per person. I don't know where you can get a meal for 4.75 a person. Mcdonalds more expensive then that. Unless you do all the cooking yourself.
On an unrelated note, I despise Miss Manners and her smug little attitude. I would like to hit her in the head with a hammer.
I work at a Marriott and the buffets depend on what they have. Are they just having a reception with punch,eclairs, coctail sandwiches or are they having a full dinner?
If they are having a full dinner then give a little more.
BTW a reception with finger foods cost around 10-15 a person and a full dinner costs around 30 a person and it goes up.
If they are having a full dinner then give a little more.
BTW a reception with finger foods cost around 10-15 a person and a full dinner costs around 30 a person and it goes up.
Some of you guys are really cheap bastards. I would think MINIMUM would be how much you think the cost of dinner is (and yes, you can estimate it... you don't need to ask). Thankfully my parents didn't raise me to be cheapasses, so when we go to weddings, we give both a nice present for their new life together, and money to at least cover the dinner.
Maybe it's just the way I was raised and the way I think but I wouldn't expect someone to give me a gift equal to the cost of their dinner at my wedding reception. I get a greater joy at seeing family/friends join me in celebration than I do at counting pennies. Like I said before, the cost of a wedding is the responsibility of the bride/groom and their parents, not the guests.
And, just because someone getting married wants to serve Porterhouse Steak and Lobster doesn't mean I need to pay for my dinner. I give a gift I think the couple will enjoy (or select from the registry). It may be more than dinner, it may be less. But, they will know it was something I thought they would enjoy and I'm sure they won't worry if I was shy a few dollars of my cost for having been there to celebrate their joy.
Besides, is every guest supposed to know the cost of their dinner? Is every guest to be supplied with a full invoice of the costs of the wedding? And how is every guest supposed to even know what is even going to be served for dinner?
depending on where they are held, weddings can easily cost up to $20k, especially for 200 guests. our wedding was only 150 guests and it was at least $30k.
that being said, we were just happy to be able to share the day with all the people who were able to attend, no matter what they gave us. gifts ranged from a sushi tray to $1000 cash.
that being said, we were just happy to be able to share the day with all the people who were able to attend, no matter what they gave us. gifts ranged from a sushi tray to $1000 cash.
Why can't they do both? Enjoy both the reception, and then have something to start a new life together with?
So now you're trying to justify your cheapass? I never said that people couldn't give gifts with meaning.
Besides, is every guest supposed to know the cost of their dinner? Is every guest to be supplied with a full invoice of the costs of the wedding? And how is every guest supposed to even know what is even going to be served for dinner?
Are you really that clueless? What's the average cost of a meal for a wedding? $50-100. You don't NEED to give exact change you know. If i'm invited to somebody's wedding... it's typically because i'm important enough in their life that they want me to celebrate with them. I'm not going to be a cheapass and try to figure out how much the meal is going to cost and give accordingly. I said MINIMUM should be what you ESTIMATE the cost of dinner is going to be. I would say we give typically 500-1000 at weddings when you adjust the cash and gifts.
If they can't enjoy what they were given as GIFTS, then they are boorish, materialistic snobs.
Why are you so intent on calling me a cheapass? Jesus H. Fvcking Christ on a popsicle stick! I give what I am able to afford and what I think the couple will enjoy. And at what point does a person no longer become a cheapass? When they estimate the cost of their gift within $2 of the cost of their dinner? $5? $10?
[/quote]Besides, is every guest supposed to know the cost of their dinner? Is every guest to be supplied with a full invoice of the costs of the wedding? And how is every guest supposed to even know what is even going to be served for dinner?
Are you really that clueless? What's the average cost of a meal for a wedding? $50-100. You don't NEED to give exact change you know. If i'm invited to somebody's wedding... it's typically because i'm important enough in their life that they want me to celebrate with them. I'm not going to be a cheapass and try to figure out how much the meal is going to cost and give accordingly. I said MINIMUM should be what you ESTIMATE the cost of dinner is going to be. I would say we give typically 500-1000 at weddings when you adjust the cash and gifts.
Well, not everyone can afford $500-1000 for cash/gifts. Many people live paycheck-to-paycheck and even $25 is a stretch. And the cost of my dinner has NEVER been a consideration for the cost of my gift to the couple. It's the level of my friendship with them. And that's all that should matter. Yeah, I do believe in some minimum. If I'm invited to a wedding for someone I don't know that well, I'd give something worth at least $25. If it was my best friend? Heck, I might be willing to go way overboard and give several hundred...who knows?
Gift-giving is not a counting contest! It's giving from the heart. I suppose you count pennies when you give Christmas/birthday gifts?
Most of you people are cheap. Our wedding was not that spectacular and the cost includes everything down to the donations to the church and tipping everyone. Her parents paid for most of it and the money we got is going to our future as a couple. If we wouldn't of had the wedding and done the Vegas thing her parents would of just given us the money instead of doing the wedding. We actaully took a gamble with using the money for the wedding. Everyone that went had a great time and we didn't have any no shows. How many of you have every been to a wedding where everyone showed up? Most of the money is actually going for a down payment for a house that we are buying right now. Yes, you go in to a wedding expecting not to get anything but come on people. It is hard for a couple to get started off these days.
The wedding is a stepping stone. I don't know of anyone that gets married and says we don't need your money, just keep it. If they do they are just rich bastards. If you plan on going to a wedding please give at least the cost of the meal and more if you can. Some people can't and that is understandable. We had friends give us over $200 per person in cash and gifts and they were still in college. We will remember that when they get married and spend more on them.
My mother always told me to be generous with the money you have in life. It doesn't do any good if you can't share it and enjoy it with friends and family.
The wedding is a stepping stone. I don't know of anyone that gets married and says we don't need your money, just keep it. If they do they are just rich bastards. If you plan on going to a wedding please give at least the cost of the meal and more if you can. Some people can't and that is understandable. We had friends give us over $200 per person in cash and gifts and they were still in college. We will remember that when they get married and spend more on them.
My mother always told me to be generous with the money you have in life. It doesn't do any good if you can't share it and enjoy it with friends and family.
waggy
No Lifer
- Dec 14, 2000
- 68,143
- 10
- 81
Originally posted by: Moralpanic
Why can't they do both? Enjoy both the reception, and then have something to start a new life together with?
So now you're trying to justify your cheapass? I never said that people couldn't give gifts with meaning.
Besides, is every guest supposed to know the cost of their dinner? Is every guest to be supplied with a full invoice of the costs of the wedding? And how is every guest supposed to even know what is even going to be served for dinner?
Are you really that clueless? What's the average cost of a meal for a wedding? $50-100. You don't NEED to give exact change you know. If i'm invited to somebody's wedding... it's typically because i'm important enough in their life that they want me to celebrate with them. I'm not going to be a cheapass and try to figure out how much the meal is going to cost and give accordingly. I said MINIMUM should be what you ESTIMATE the cost of dinner is going to be. I would say we give typically 500-1000 at weddings when you adjust the cash and gifts.
well if you want people to pay for the wedding tell them on the inventation. im sure that will work out very nicely.
anyway. when the wife and i was married we got pretty good amount from people. we avaraged around $100 for each person. granted some gave less and some gave more. Some business partners of my father that have known me for years gave us well over a grand each.
My step-mother's father (who only meet me once) gave us $2000. but he was (he died 2 years ago) a very wealthy old man and didnt have any grandkids. so he was very nice to us.
But to expect the guest to pony up enough to pay for the wedding is silly. That is NOT WHY THEY ARE INVITED! we spent a good deal but we didnt expect to get it back. i was happy to see my friends and family have a good time.
Ummm why do u expect your guests to pay for your wedding..if you cant afford to get married in a big weddign why did you?
we didnt get married til we had enough saved up to pay it all ourselves and the same went for when we had chiildren..we didnt have any until we could afford them...this is strange to me to hav ur 'guests' pay for YOUR wedding...
maybe its a cultural thing...or im dumb
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