How long do you think children should expect parents to support them?

[Oceandevi]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: joshsquall


A lot of parents (and children) are smart enough to realize that building up some savings before buying a house or renting a real place is a good thing. Starting off adult life in debt isn't exactly the best thing.

That's the child response I was waiting for. You have no stake in life or livelyhood, no consequences to decisions, that's the child speaking and the parents enabling.

Not having those consequences to your decisions still make one mentally a child.

You believe people are machines.

 

[evident]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: AreaCode707


If you're living at home, paying rent, that means that you CAN self-sufficiently meet your basic needs, you're just choosing to do so while living with your parents. My sister is a personality that could do this, for instance. She and my parents just enjoy each others' company that much. She's not doing this, but if she were then it would be the same as if she were providing for herself while living with roommates.

No. Not the same. Not anywhere near the same. While the 20+ something child lives at home it thinks itself an adult, but is still a child. It is defendant on the nest to provide it's basic needs - food, shelter, comfort. Even if it thinks it is contributing it is still a child and a child mentality. Until the child can learn to provide for itself it is still a child no matter what age.

i think you're generalizing a little too much bud. i'm 24 and living at home because i want to save $$$ and i get along fine w/ my parents. in fact, i'm supporting them by paying alot of their expenses at home because they've hit some tough times. i don't really mooch off of them for anything, except for the occasional meal, but iam normally at my GF's and we cook dinner. i could easily provide for myself, but this living arrangement is going to really put me ahead in a few years. how am i in a child mentality?

 

[MrChad]

I couldn't imagine moving back in with my parents after college. I looked forward to getting my first apartment and buying my first car on my own.

That said, my circumstances were fortunate. I paid my way through school through scholarships, so by the time I graduated I had a decent amount of savings and no debt. Not everyone is in the same situation just out of school.

Originally posted by: mugs
I don't see anything wrong with parents supporting their children until they have finished school and are able to get a decent job. I also don't see living at home as necessarily being supported by the parents. Living at home for a few years after college is practical. It allows you to get a good start financially. As long as you're contributing to the household and paying all of your expenses (including car, food, whatever), and saving your excess money rather than wasting it, I don't see anything wrong with staying at home for a few years after college.

I agree with this to an extent, but I also feel like living on your own builds all sorts of good character skills as well. Managing your own budget and being forced to live frugally are lessons you can carry with you throughout your life. Living at home simply shields you from the harsh realities of the real world that you're eventually going to have to face.

 

[zerocool84]

This is AT. You're a failure if you: make less than $100k, drive a car that costs less than a $40k, don't live in a 2 story house, don't drink microbrews, eat fast food, aren't married by 25, and many others

 

[Slew Foot]

Happens all the time out here in the bay area, Then again, loads of Asians around and the avg house is like 1 million bucks.

 

[Mr Smiley]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: mugs

Part of being an adult is making smart financial decisions. You could move out when you're 18 (or 21) and spend $1500 a month on rent and utilities. Or you could live at home for 3 more years and use the $54,000 you would have spent on rent and utilities as a down payment on a house. Which is smarter? Which puts you in a better position for the rest of your life?

The problem is the child is still relying on the adult/parent in the guise of "it's a good decision!" The child has no stake in this decision and relies on others, hence still a child.

As specified in the OP, rarely does what you propose happen. The child rationalizes their decisions as there are no real consequences. That's the child's mind by very definition.

So where is the line between child and adult? The adult must be completed cut off from their parents? Does accepting student loans or benefits from an employer make you a child as well?

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: Slew Foot
Happens all the time out here in the bay area, Then again, loads of Asians around and the avg house is like 1 million bucks.

Yeah, eff LA and those places. I watched house hunters or some shit on HGTV and people were buying and selling these tiny ass condos/homes/whatever for like 1.3 million dollars. 1.3 million around where I am could get you paradise.

I would move out of LA if possible.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: MrChad
I agree with this to an extent, but I also feel like living on your own builds all sorts of good character skills as well. Managing your own budget and being forced to live frugally are lessons you can carry with you throughout your life. Living at home simply shields you from the harsh realities of the real world that you're eventually going to have to face.

I did that in college to an extent that I've never had to do since, regardless of where I was living. I think it was beneficial for me to have worked since I was 14 and paid for pretty much anything I wanted to buy, because I didn't have the option of using a credit card to buy stuff. If I didn't have the money, I couldn't buy things. I've never carried a balance on a credit card. Having to pay $1100 for car insurance every 6 months when I started driving also forced me to plan for future expenses and keep a buffer in my savings account. I liked to keep it over $2000 at all times, and I rarely let it drop below that in college.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: evident


i think you're generalizing a little too much bud. i'm 24 and living at home because i want to save $$$ and i get along fine w/ my parents. in fact, i'm supporting them by paying alot of their expenses at home because they've hit some tough times. i don't really mooch off of them for anything, except for the occasional meal, but iam normally at my GF's and we cook dinner. i could easily provide for myself, but this living arrangement is going to really put me ahead in a few years. how am i in a child mentality?

Because you refuse to provide for yourself, that's fine, that's your choice, that's the child in you. Your girl is your supplement parent until the day the child in you puts a roof over your own head. An adult doesn't depend on others for support for the basic necessities.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: evident


i think you're generalizing a little too much bud. i'm 24 and living at home because i want to save $$$ and i get along fine w/ my parents. in fact, i'm supporting them by paying alot of their expenses at home because they've hit some tough times. i don't really mooch off of them for anything, except for the occasional meal, but iam normally at my GF's and we cook dinner. i could easily provide for myself, but this living arrangement is going to really put me ahead in a few years. how am i in a child mentality?

Because you refuse to provide for yourself, that's fine, that's your choice, that's the child in you. Your girl is your supplement parent until the day the child in you puts a roof over your own head. An adult doesn't depend on others for support for the basic necessities.

lol

So what about married couples? They are apparently children, but married, fucking away, having children, and soon going to be on social security. Yep.. Total children, because they rely on each other.

Oh and same for anyone who is disabled and cannot work even if they wanted to... Children.

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: evident


i think you're generalizing a little too much bud. i'm 24 and living at home because i want to save $$$ and i get along fine w/ my parents. in fact, i'm supporting them by paying alot of their expenses at home because they've hit some tough times. i don't really mooch off of them for anything, except for the occasional meal, but iam normally at my GF's and we cook dinner. i could easily provide for myself, but this living arrangement is going to really put me ahead in a few years. how am i in a child mentality?

An adult doesn't depend on others for support for the basic necessities.

Have you ever taken out a loan or used a credit card???

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: zerocool84

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: evident


i think you're generalizing a little too much bud. i'm 24 and living at home because i want to save $$$ and i get along fine w/ my parents. in fact, i'm supporting them by paying alot of their expenses at home because they've hit some tough times. i don't really mooch off of them for anything, except for the occasional meal, but iam normally at my GF's and we cook dinner. i could easily provide for myself, but this living arrangement is going to really put me ahead in a few years. how am i in a child mentality?

An adult doesn't depend on others for support for the basic necessities.

Have you ever taken out a loan or used a credit card???

You obviously do not understand. Spidey07 is the pinnacle of perfection. So he obviously would not do anything that is against his arguments.

 

[erub]

Originally posted by: mugs
I don't see anything wrong with parents supporting their children until they have finished school and are able to get a decent job. I also don't see living at home as necessarily being supported by the parents. Living at home for a few years after college is practical. It allows you to get a good start financially. As long as you're contributing to the household and paying all of your expenses (including car, food, whatever), and saving your excess money rather than wasting it, I don't see anything wrong with staying at home for a few years after college.

Seems like it is personally all against spidey here. I'll join the chorus, haha. My situation, my parents paid for my room and board during college and grad school (I had academic scholarships for the tuition). Then I got a job, and moved to PHX. Well guess what, the economy sucks right now, so I got laid off 7 months into the job. I moved back home to Dallas while I look for another job (luckily had no apartment lease in PHX).

I do have plenty of money in the bank, so I could get an apartment without any difficulty, but what would be the point? Right now I can travel around if I want, as well as look for jobs all over the country, so why tie myself to a lease? My parents are happy to have me here, hell my sister and brother-in-law lived here for 7 months, and she is a pediatrician making $100/hour (far more than spidey will ever hope to make) between her residency and fellowship. No debt for them either, just trying to save up some money.

 

[imported_Lothar]

Originally posted by: spidey07
If you still living at home at age 24 you are a complete failure at life honestly. If you can't put a roof over your head and provide for your life and self, well that's failure at life.

Area707 - by providing a roof over the head still classifies as failure of the child. The now mid 20s child can't even meet it's basic needs without assistance. The child is a failure at life and the parents are enabling this failure.

18 is the bar. Above and beyond that will only lead to the child's failure in life.

I make well above 6 figures and can buy my own house anytime I feel like it. :roll:

I don't see any incentive to do so since I'm single and don't have a family.
Only a complete idiot would choose to rent an apartment when they can stay home for free.

 

[imported_Lothar]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707
If you're living at home, paying rent, that means that you CAN self-sufficiently meet your basic needs, you're just choosing to do so while living with your parents. My sister is a personality that could do this, for instance. She and my parents just enjoy each others' company that much. She's not doing this, but if she were then it would be the same as if she were providing for herself while living with roommates.

My mom doesn't charge me any rent.
If she starts to, there would be little incentive for me to stay.

Originally posted by: spidey07
No. Not the same. Not anywhere near the same. While the 20+ something child lives at home it thinks itself an adult, but is still a child. It is defendant on the nest to provide it's basic needs - food, shelter, comfort. Even if it thinks it is contributing it is still a child and a child mentality. Until the child can learn to provide for itself it is still a child no matter what age.

:roll:

 

[evident]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: evident


i think you're generalizing a little too much bud. i'm 24 and living at home because i want to save $$$ and i get along fine w/ my parents. in fact, i'm supporting them by paying alot of their expenses at home because they've hit some tough times. i don't really mooch off of them for anything, except for the occasional meal, but iam normally at my GF's and we cook dinner. i could easily provide for myself, but this living arrangement is going to really put me ahead in a few years. how am i in a child mentality?

Because you refuse to provide for yourself, that's fine, that's your choice, that's the child in you. Your girl is your supplement parent until the day the child in you puts a roof over your own head. An adult doesn't depend on others for support for the basic necessities.

yup. you're a genius :roll: im a stupid idiot for not pissing my $ away for an apartment and laughing all the way to the bank, and my gf is doing the exact same thing

 

[theblackbox]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: evident


i think you're generalizing a little too much bud. i'm 24 and living at home because i want to save $$$ and i get along fine w/ my parents. in fact, i'm supporting them by paying alot of their expenses at home because they've hit some tough times. i don't really mooch off of them for anything, except for the occasional meal, but iam normally at my GF's and we cook dinner. i could easily provide for myself, but this living arrangement is going to really put me ahead in a few years. how am i in a child mentality?

Because you refuse to provide for yourself, that's fine, that's your choice, that's the child in you. Your girl is your supplement parent until the day the child in you puts a roof over your own head. An adult doesn't depend on others for support for the basic necessities.

so you catch all your own food, built your own house (with your hands), and make your own clothes.

i hate to tell you that everyday you depend on others for support the basic necessities.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: erub

Originally posted by: mugs
I don't see anything wrong with parents supporting their children until they have finished school and are able to get a decent job. I also don't see living at home as necessarily being supported by the parents. Living at home for a few years after college is practical. It allows you to get a good start financially. As long as you're contributing to the household and paying all of your expenses (including car, food, whatever), and saving your excess money rather than wasting it, I don't see anything wrong with staying at home for a few years after college.

Seems like it is personally all against spidey here. I'll join the chorus, haha. My situation, my parents paid for my room and board during college and grad school (I had academic scholarships for the tuition). Then I got a job, and moved to PHX. Well guess what, the economy sucks right now, so I got laid off 7 months into the job. I moved back home to Dallas while I look for another job (luckily had no apartment lease in PHX).

I do have plenty of money in the bank, so I could get an apartment without any difficulty, but what would be the point? Right now I can travel around if I want, as well as look for jobs all over the country, so why tie myself to a lease? My parents are happy to have me here, hell my sister and brother-in-law lived here for 7 months, and she is a pediatrician making $100/hour (far more than spidey will ever hope to make) between her residency and fellowship. No debt for them either, just trying to save up some money.

Your sister is a lucky SOB. I wish I could make $100/hr... O_O

 

[imported_Lothar]

Originally posted by: SlitheryDee
Parents owe it to their kids to kick them out at 18. Some support should be provided as needed thereafter, but parents should strongly discourage the children from moving back in after age 20. To learn how to deal with the world they've got to get out on their own and deal with it.

That mentality is what leads to most Americans not giving a shit about their parents.

No wonder I see a lot of eighty something year olds shuffling their feet at the grocery store alone barely being able to walk or push the cart.
Their sons or grandsons can't help because the parents probably treated them like crap and they are probably just returning the favor.

 

[Taejin]

Originally posted by: spidey07
If you still living at home at age 24 you are a complete failure at life honestly. If you can't put a roof over your head and provide for your life and self, well that's failure at life.

Area707 - by providing a roof over the head still classifies as failure of the child. The now mid 20s child can't even meet it's basic needs without assistance. The child is a failure at life and the parents are enabling this failure.

18 is the bar. Above and beyond that will only lead to the child's failure in life.

Why 18? Why not 17? Why not 19? 18 cause the law says so? It seems like you're the one who is failing at life here.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: Lothar

I make well above 6 figures and can buy my own house anytime I feel like it. :roll:

I don't see any incentive to do so since I'm single and don't have a family.
Only a complete idiot would choose to rent an apartment when they can stay home for free.

Dude, at least pay your parents some rent. :Q

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: mugs

Originally posted by: Lothar

I make well above 6 figures and can buy my own house anytime I feel like it. :roll:

I don't see any incentive to do so since I'm single and don't have a family.
Only a complete idiot would choose to rent an apartment when they can stay home for free.

Dude, at least pay your parents some rent. :Q

I think he was joking. If he isn't.. What a bastard...

 

[manowar821]

Originally posted by: spidey07
If you still living at home at age 24 you are a complete failure at life honestly. If you can't put a roof over your head and provide for your life and self, well that's failure at life.

Area707 - by providing a roof over the head still classifies as failure of the child. The now mid 20s child can't even meet it's basic needs without assistance. The child is a failure at life and the parents are enabling this failure.

18 is the bar. Above and beyond that will only lead to the child's failure in life.

Hey. Go fuck yourself.

 

[MrChad]

Originally posted by: TridentTBoy3555
So what about married couples? They are apparently children, but married, fucking away, having children, and soon going to be on social security. Yep.. Total children, because they rely on each other.

Oh and same for anyone who is disabled and cannot work even if they wanted to... Children.

Originally posted by: zerocool84
Have you ever taken out a loan or used a credit card???

Originally posted by: theblackbox
so you catch all your own food, built your own house (with your hands), and make your own clothes.

i hate to tell you that everyday you depend on others for support the basic necessities.

Are you all seriously so obtuse that you can't understand the difference between a child's dependency on his/her parents and other dependencies in a normal adult life? Obviously no one in modern society is truly independent, but adults are responsible for providing themselves clothing, food and shelter, whereas a child is not. Whether that responsibility is fulfilled via a business transaction (such as a credit card or loan), personal relationship or simply getting a job, earning money and paying for goods and services, it is still very clearly an adult responsibility.

 

[imported_Lothar]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: AreaCode707


If you're living at home, paying rent, that means that you CAN self-sufficiently meet your basic needs, you're just choosing to do so while living with your parents. My sister is a personality that could do this, for instance. She and my parents just enjoy each others' company that much. She's not doing this, but if she were then it would be the same as if she were providing for herself while living with roommates.

No. Not the same. Not anywhere near the same. While the 20+ something child lives at home it thinks itself an adult, but is still a child. It is defendant on the nest to provide it's basic needs - food, shelter, comfort. Even if it thinks it is contributing it is still a child and a child mentality. Until the child can learn to provide for itself it is still a child no matter what age.

Eh, I will respectfully disagree. I was out of the house at 18, so I'm not arguing in self-defense, but I do know people that are both self-sufficient ($70k+ a year, good social lives) and live at home.

Anyway, my question really pertained more to the kids that expect tuition, rent, car, gas, and spending money and, to end our difference of opinion, let's say live outside of the home.

Those are the responsibility of the parents.
It is the child's responsibility to bring the good grades home.

As long as my children keep a 3.3 GPA and don't pick stupid majors like psychology, liberal arts, social science, medieval history, or any other equivalent stupid degree they can expect their undergrad tuition to be fully covered(after scholarships are accounted for).
In fact, if they decide that they want to also get a Masters/PhD, I will gladly give them an "interest free" loan for it.

I would prefer my child to bring an "A" on his/her report card than to bring a "C" due to him/her working a stupid $8-10/hr job at CVS or some other stupid job on campus.
If "work" is the issue preventing one from bringing me an "A" on their report card, then they need to quit it.