How long do you think children should expect parents to support them?

[xanis]

I don't understand why people are so pissed off by people whose parents give them money and help to support them. There is NOTHING wrong with accepting help, monetary or otherwise, from parents or other people. So long as your parents have half a brain and teach you basic responsibility and money-management skills, there's nothing wrong with accepting money or housing that I can see.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: Xanis
I don't understand why people are so pissed off by people whose parents give them money and help to support them. There is NOTHING wrong with accepting help, monetary or otherwise, from parents or other people. So long as your parents have half a brain and teach you basic responsibility and money-management skills, there's nothing wrong with accepting money or housing that I can see.

It's one thing to accept. It's another to expect it.

 

[Reckoner]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: shadow9d9


It is much more worthwhile for a child to sit in front of a forum all day trying to bash people to feel better about themselves.

Funny, I don't feel better about myself from this shit. It's an attempt to help others become an adult.

Calling people failures at life isn't much help.

 

[ChaoZ]

Not this again. Some cultures want their kids out the minute they turn 18, and some cultures want their kids to live with them forever. Let's just leave it at that.

 

[Fenixgoon]

Originally posted by: Xanis
I don't understand why people are so pissed off by people whose parents give them money and help to support them. There is NOTHING wrong with accepting help, monetary or otherwise, from parents or other people. So long as your parents have half a brain and teach you basic responsibility and money-management skills, there's nothing wrong with accepting money or housing that I can see.

i think it's that a lot of people are irresponsible with money. hell, look at the collective personal debt and the clusterfuck known as the housing meltdown. irresponsibility.

for me, my parents prioritized my academics over having a job, so i didn't have one in HS. it's worked out well so far though - i've received incredible amounts of scholarship money because of my focus on academics.

i've earned a bit of money from my co-op jobs, so i feel like i should support myself as much as possible to minimize any additional costs to my parents. i am very grateful for their support and the sacrifices they've made.

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: Reckoner

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: shadow9d9


It is much more worthwhile for a child to sit in front of a forum all day trying to bash people to feel better about themselves.

Funny, I don't feel better about myself from this shit. It's an attempt to help others become an adult.

Calling people failures at life isn't much help.

It does help his miserable sense of self, though.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Xanis
I don't understand why people are so pissed off by people whose parents give them money and help to support them. There is NOTHING wrong with accepting help, monetary or otherwise, from parents or other people. So long as your parents have half a brain and teach you basic responsibility and money-management skills, there's nothing wrong with accepting money or housing that I can see.

It's one thing to accept. It's another to expect it.

I think that depends on your situation. I expected my parents to let me live with them while I went to a community college. I would have been surprised(and majorly screwed for a multitude of reasons) if my parents said, "Ok, you know how we said you are going to live with us while you go to the CC? Yeah, we changed our mind.. now GTFO!!!!!"

It's not like I get tons of luxuries though. I get food and a room, that's all. I am gracious to them for it though... Although I am 18, not in my mid 20s.

 

[xanis]

Originally posted by: Fenixgoon

Originally posted by: Xanis
I don't understand why people are so pissed off by people whose parents give them money and help to support them. There is NOTHING wrong with accepting help, monetary or otherwise, from parents or other people. So long as your parents have half a brain and teach you basic responsibility and money-management skills, there's nothing wrong with accepting money or housing that I can see.

i think it's that a lot of people are irresponsible with money. hell, look at the collective personal debt and the clusterfuck known as the housing meltdown. irresponsibility.

for me, my parents prioritized my academics over having a job, so i didn't have one in HS. it's worked out well so far though - i've received incredible amounts of scholarship money because of my focus on academics.

i've earned a bit of money from my co-op jobs, so i feel like i should support myself as much as possible to minimize any additional costs to my parents. i am very grateful for their support and the sacrifices they've made.

Exactly. My parents sacrificed a lot of time and money for me, and I'm VERY grateful. However, they also have taught me good financial responsibly. I use a debit card, only spend what I can afford, and pay off all my debts on-time.

 

[Bibble]

Children should expect parents to support them at least in a basic sense (home, food, school supplies) until 18. However, I think parents should expect their children to find some way to earn spending money once they are of competent age.

My original plan was to move out within 4 months of graduating college and get an apartment with my girlfriend, but she's taking a 5th year now so I may stay at home and save my money for a year. I don't expect my mother to have a problem with this, but if she does that's totally fine with me.

So long as children do not feel entitled to their parents' financial support, I don't see a problem.

 

[FelixDeCat]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: FelixDeKat


You still dont get it. What people do is not up to you, its up to them. Your opinion is worthless.:thumbsdown:

So - what is your reason for still living at home? Answer the question, I've given you outs.

What is your reason to assume I still live at home? You are too immature to understand people can live their lives as they please, spidey07s opinion of them be damned.

 

[mugs]

I don't see anything wrong with parents supporting their children until they have finished school and are able to get a decent job. I also don't see living at home as necessarily being supported by the parents. Living at home for a few years after college is practical. It allows you to get a good start financially. As long as you're contributing to the household and paying all of your expenses (including car, food, whatever), and saving your excess money rather than wasting it, I don't see anything wrong with staying at home for a few years after college.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Reckoner

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: shadow9d9


It is much more worthwhile for a child to sit in front of a forum all day trying to bash people to feel better about themselves.

Funny, I don't feel better about myself from this shit. It's an attempt to help others become an adult.

Calling people failures at life isn't much help.

It may light a fire under their butts though. I don't know, my dad moved out of our apartment when I was 18 and I had to pay for everything. I ended up moving in with my uncle (I paid rent) while I went to school full time and worked full time. I was completely embarassed by having to live with family. I think it pushed me harder.

To me, there's nothing wrong with living with your parents if you're working towards some goal. Living there because it's easy is wrong.

 

[soccerballtux]

Only until you've graduated. That's assuming they're paying for your college.
Education is far far too expensive. We need to get the government out of the picture so that the prices can fall.

Axe tenure. Axe pell grants. Axe all the government student loans. Prices didn't balloon until colleges figured out there was a limitless free money out there.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: mugs
I don't see anything wrong with parents supporting their children until they have finished school and are able to get a decent job. I also don't see living at home as necessarily being supported by the parents. Living at home for a few years after college is practical. It allows you to get a good start financially. As long as you're contributing to the household and paying all of your expenses (including car, food, whatever), and saving your excess money rather than wasting it, I don't see anything wrong with staying at home for a few years after college.

And some people take longer to finish school than others... Not everyone goes into an Ivy League university with the desire to be a lawyer, engineer, doctor, etc like on this forum... Many people don't know what the hell they want to even do. (Some even go through four years of school and get their degree to find out they hate the work) Not knowing what you want to do in life makes even going to college extremely difficult. All this time and work spent on something you don't see the purpose in.

I don't see what's wrong with living with your parents if you are having trouble in life.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: shadow9d9


It is much more worthwhile for a child to sit in front of a forum all day trying to bash people to feel better about themselves.

Funny, I don't feel better about myself from this shit. It's an attempt to help others become an adult.

Part of being an adult is making smart financial decisions. You could move out when you're 18 (or 21) and spend $1500 a month on rent and utilities. Or you could live at home for 3 more years and use the $54,000 you would have spent on rent and utilities as a down payment on a house. Which is smarter? Which puts you in a better position for the rest of your life?

 

[daniel1113]

Children should expect parents to support them until they are 18. As for the age in which parents should no longer support their children, well, I cannot answer that question, as everyone's situation is completely different. The key is that any help after 18 shouldn't be expected.

I moved out when I was 18, and although my parents paid for my college tuition, I paid for everything else. After graduation, I worked and supported myself for a year before deciding to attend to law school. I figured out how much it would cost me for three years of grad school and asked my dad if he would loan me the balance, and he obliged. He is in a position where he can give me an interest free loan for three years, but I wouldn't say he is supporting me, as he knows I am going to pay him back. I also don't think it is out of line for parents to help kids in that manner.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: mugs

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: shadow9d9


It is much more worthwhile for a child to sit in front of a forum all day trying to bash people to feel better about themselves.

Funny, I don't feel better about myself from this shit. It's an attempt to help others become an adult.

Part of being an adult is making smart financial decisions. You could move out when you're 18 (or 21) and spend $1500 a month on rent and utilities. Or you could live at home for 3 more years and use the $54,000 you would have spent on rent and utilities as a down payment on a house. Which is smarter? Which puts you in a better position for the rest of your life?

Even smarter to go to college while living at your parents to be something that pays well. Although that is difficult for people who don't know what they want to do either.

 

[BoomerD]

The child should expect their parents to support them until they turn 18 or graduate from high school. Beyond that, they're sponging off the parents.

Yes, some parents may permit the child to live at home while they go through college. That's up to the parents, not the child.

I moved out at 16 and never went back, even though I maintained a good relationship with my mom...to the point where she moved in with us when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Trident...having trouble in life doesn't mean your parents have the obligation to continue to support you.

Spidey, we are pretty much in agreement on this one. If the child continues living at home, they maintain the dependent child relationship, and are not self-sufficient adults.

(sez the guy with a 30 year old daughter and 3 grandkids who moved in with us in December.) :roll:

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: mugs

Part of being an adult is making smart financial decisions. You could move out when you're 18 (or 21) and spend $1500 a month on rent and utilities. Or you could live at home for 3 more years and use the $54,000 you would have spent on rent and utilities as a down payment on a house. Which is smarter? Which puts you in a better position for the rest of your life?

The problem is the child is still relying on the adult/parent in the guise of "it's a good decision!" The child has no stake in this decision and relies on others, hence still a child.

As specified in the OP, rarely does what you propose happen. The child rationalizes their decisions as there are no real consequences. That's the child's mind by very definition.

 

[lokiju]

I moved out when I was 20 and had wanted to since I was 18 but didn't have anything pushing me to do so really until I was 20.

My parents didn't charge me for my room or even anything like food, utilities, etc. But I ate most of my meals on my own dime and bought all my own belongings since the age of 16.

Really it was when they said that I'd have to start paying to stay longer that got my brother (who was 23 atm) and I to get out of there and get an apartment together.

 

[TraumaRN]

I graduated college at 21 and had a house about ~11 months later. I stayed at my parents during that time and saved money, without them I would never have been able to afford a house and would have been stuck paying rent into a dead end apartment someplace.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: BoomerD
The child should expect their parents to support them until they turn 18 or graduate from high school. Beyond that, they're sponging off the parents.

Yes, some parents may permit the child to live at home while they go through college. That's up to the parents, not the child.

I moved out at 16 and never went back, even though I maintained a good relationship with my mom...to the point where she moved in with us when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Trident...having trouble in life doesn't mean your parents have the obligation to continue to support you.

Spidey, we are pretty much in agreement on this one. If the child continues living at home, they maintain the dependent child relationship, and are not self-sufficient adults.

(sez the guy with a 30 year old daughter and 3 grandkids who moved in with us in December.) :roll:

What if you can't support yourself? Would you let your daughter just rot on the street? I don't think I could do that to any future children I have.

 

[irishScott]

If possible, the parents should give the kid a full ride through at least 4 years of college. Beyond that it's up in the air. Personally my parents have agreed to partially pay for my grad school as well, but finances are my last real practical tie to them, and I'm one of the most independent people you'll meet. I'm getting a Computer Engineering degree with a minor in Bioelectrical Engineering. I'll find a decent salary somewhere unless the economy really dives into the shitter, and I'll blow the first month on celebrating my own little personal independence day.

I'm used to a high-middle class life, right now I drive a 2001 Volvo S60 Turbo more-or-less fully loaded that my parents pay for (was 17k used), but to be honest I'd be perfectly happy with some basic 90s corolla so long as it ran well (only other requirements being V6, working AC, radio, and all levers/buttons/lights functional). At least it'd be mine. Only reason I haven't gone off already is because I don't want student loans up the ass.

 

[BlackTigers]

My parents supported me all through my life.

Starting college in three months, and they offered to let me keep my room at home if I payed a little rent.

But if not, I'll be supporting myself before I turn 18 (moving out at 17...). This will be fun.

 

[TridenT]

Originally posted by: irishScott
If possible, the parents should give the kid a full ride through at least 4 years of college. Beyond that it's up in the air. Personally my parents have agreed to partially pay for my grad school as well, but finances are my last real practical tie to them, and I'm one of the most independent people you'll meet. I'm getting a Computer Engineering degree with a minor in Bioelectrical Engineering. I'll find a decent salary somewhere unless the economy really dives into the shitter, and I'll blow the first month on celebrating my own little personal independence day.

I'm used to a high-middle class life, right now I drive I 2001 Volvo S60 Turbo more-or-less fully loaded that my parents pay for (was 17k used), but to be honest I'd be perfectly happy with some basic 90s corolla so long as it ran well (only other requirements being V6, working AC, radio, and all levers/buttons/lights functional). At least it'd be mine. Only reason I haven't gone off already is because I don't want student loans up the ass.

You're very fortunate.

Oh and I would be happy with any car that my parents got me if it worked and didn't have terrible gas mileage, but I won't be getting one.