Help me out here. My Dad's Girlfriend keeps making efforts to

[Polish3d]

No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

 

[Crucial]

Be glad she isn't snubbing you and the rest of your family while trying to take your dad and everything he has away from you and said family.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: linkgoron

Originally posted by: Frackal
I was at my Grandpa's house for his birthday yesterday. It was my whole immediate family, and then her. What the ******? Doesn't she have her own ****** family? My Aunt is divorced too but you didn't see her boyfriend there.

Please don't bring your GF/wife to dinner/holidays/birthdays/whatever with your family... Doesn't she have her own family to be with?!

Bullsh!t. There is nothing wrong with bringing a long-term, serious partner to a family get together.

If they get married, will they no longer have their own family???

Didn't think that through, did you?

 

[tommigsr]

Originally posted by: purbeast0
wow you sound like you are jealous cause she spends more time with your dad than you do.

all she's trying to do is be part of the family and you have to be a dick about it? grow the fvck up.

 

[MikeMike]

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

well they may have had reactions like that, but they were true.and you brought it upon yourself by reacting back to them.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

Listen, the fact of the matter is, you're being an immature brat here.

There is no other way to put that.

You DO have a need to know her, because she is your father's partner.

 

[Polish3d]

Originally posted by: Shortcut
Seems like she's making a genuine effort to befriend you. You're an adult - so behave like one and reciprocate the goodwill.

I AM very friendly to her and make an effort to be nice and kind and allow them to feel comfortable around me.

But am I really obligated to become friends with her? I wish I could explain all the factors going into my point of view on this. Unless they do get married or something, I think a basic, friendly, fairly comfortable relationship is quite fine. I don't believe I owe her my friendship or what not ... it just isn't necessary, I barely see her.

 

[Sukhoi]

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

The few? It's everyone in the thread!

 

[altonb1]

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

If you don't want the answer, why do you post here in the 1st place?

Your post above is basically a virtual version of, "...then I'll take my ball and go home...."

Whatever. don't ask for advice if you aren't willing to listen to it.

 

[CVSiN]

Originally posted by: purbeast0
wow you sound like you are jealous cause she spends more time with your dad than you do.

all she's trying to do is be part of the family and you have to be a dick about it? grow the fvck up.

QFT youre a bigger asshole than me by far.. geez... shes obviously farther into your dads life than you think..

family functions usually means the relationship is pretty darn serious,, you might not know it yet but you might have a new step mom and shes trying to treat you nice.. maybe you should respect your father and be a human being with some feelings you spoiled little brat.

23 and acting like a 10 year old whose jealous over his dads attentions..

seek help man.. grow up.

 

[gigapet]

your too old to be posting this kinda stuff.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

Nobody says you have to treat her like your mom. My dad has been married twice since my parents got divorced. I never treated or accepted either one of them as my "new mommy" and neither one of them were interested in having a new son.

I doubt this woman wants to be your mom. In my case both of my dad's exs (yeah, he blew both of those marriages too) turned out to be fairly cool.

Think of her along the same lines as you would one of your friend's parents. It's basically the same thing. (Except it's your dad...)

 

[linkgoron]

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: linkgoron

Originally posted by: Frackal
I was at my Grandpa's house for his birthday yesterday. It was my whole immediate family, and then her. What the ******? Doesn't she have her own ****** family? My Aunt is divorced too but you didn't see her boyfriend there.

Please don't bring your GF/wife to dinner/holidays/birthdays/whatever with your family... Doesn't she have her own family to be with?!

Bullsh!t. There is nothing wrong with bringing a long-term, serious partner to a family get together.

If they get married, will they no longer have their own family???

Didn't think that through, did you?

Sarcasem detector(whatever) broken?

 

[Polish3d]

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

Listen, the fact of the matter is, you're being an immature brat here.

There is no other way to put that.

You DO have a need to know her, because she is your father's partner.

I would recommend ceasing the namecalling and start reading my posts instead. I do know her. I am friendly with her. It is pretty comfortable when we are around one another. We joke and stuff. But I do not see any need for me to spend time with her at length, go places, etc. We won't be living together.

Do you really think that I am obligated to become close with her? I do not. I don't see it as necessary to my dad's happiness with her, which is the only reason why I would do it, and it is not of interest to me.

 

[EatSpam]

Chances are, she and your dad are getting serious and she wants to have a good relationship with you so things aren't uncomforable when she becomes part of your family. This is also why she was attending your family gatherings. My wife attended my family gatherings before we were married, as did the significant others of other members of my family.

Sounds like you are entirely overreacting and reading way too much into things. And you sound like you aren't ready "for a new mommy" which is a very 6 year old type of emotion.

Just relax and accept this woman's offer of friendship and be prepared for her to marry your dad.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: linkgoron

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: linkgoron

Originally posted by: Frackal
I was at my Grandpa's house for his birthday yesterday. It was my whole immediate family, and then her. What the ******? Doesn't she have her own ****** family? My Aunt is divorced too but you didn't see her boyfriend there.

Please don't bring your GF/wife to dinner/holidays/birthdays/whatever with your family... Doesn't she have her own family to be with?!

Bullsh!t. There is nothing wrong with bringing a long-term, serious partner to a family get together.

If they get married, will they no longer have their own family???

Didn't think that through, did you?

Sarcasem detector(whatever) broken?

Dammit, I've been too lazy to change the batteries.

 

[DAGTA]

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

You're 23. IF your dad marries her, she's isn't going to expect you to call her 'mom'. Your mother is your mom and always will be. If your dad does remarry, then you'll probably be on a first-name basis with his wife and her with you. It wouldn't hurt to actually try to get along with the person.

If you don't want to get to know her then don't. However, if your dad does marry her and her feelings are hurt by you ignoring her, your dad is probably going to let you know how much he appreciates you being an ass.

ATOT is not your online blog. If you post your life problems here, you better expect people to reply and not always be favorable to you.

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: Frackal
... I posted this is to attempt to get an objective perspective on the info provided ...

Here's an objective perspective: you're being a jackass to her, lighten up.

 

[datalink7]

Originally posted by: Frackal

Originally posted by: Cal166

Originally posted by: Kev

Originally posted by: Frackal
So my dad has been dating this woman for ~2 years. She makes efforts to spend time with me and I do not understand why. We are polite, cordial, she is nice to me (and I'd expect nothing less) but I am 23, I will likely be living somewhere else soon. (For school) I already live alone ~80% of the time, taking care of the house while my Dad is up at her house.

I do not see any reason to establish any type of relationship with her beyond being polite, cordial, and comfortable enough for her to be over here or what not.




I was at my Grandpa's house for his birthday yesterday. It was my whole immediate family, and then her. What the ******? Doesn't she have her own ****** family? My Aunt is divorced too but you didn't see her boyfriend there.

Then she said to me at the party "I'm glad you came..." ??? What the hell? She's the guest, does she think that because she's come to 5 or 6 family functions that I couldn't make becuase of school or work stuff that suddenly she's can talk to me like I'm the guest????



This morning she left a note on the fridge saying "I am glad you came, I am looking forward to spending more time with you."

She is nice to me as I would expect, but why this effort to spend more time with me?

To some extent I inherently distrust her because I see a chance that our interests will conflict.

You seem like a real asshole.

I concur.

Really? Unimportant. Wholesale judgements made about a person from one post only indicate more about the person who would make such a judgement. You know nothing about me.


All I want to know is why she might wish to make such an effort to establish some sort of relationship with me. I won't even be around much longer, it just isn't necessary.

Wholesale judgements? They never said you were and asshole. They said you seem like an asshole. Of course we don't know anything about you. All we know about you is from what you post.

And from what you post you seem like an asshole.

 

[MikeMike]

Originally posted by: Frackal

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

Listen, the fact of the matter is, you're being an immature brat here.

There is no other way to put that.

You DO have a need to know her, because she is your father's partner.

I would recommend ceasing the namecalling and start reading my posts instead. I do know her. I am friendly with her. It is pretty comfortable when we are around one another. We joke and stuff. But I do not see any need for me to spend time with her at length, go places, etc. We won't be living together.

Do you really think that I am obligated to become close with her? I do not. I don't see it as necessary to my dad's happiness with her, which is the only reason why I would do it, and it is not of interest to me.

you do seem like you are 13 and throwing a hissy fit.

 

[Buck Armstrong]

Originally posted by: Frackal
So my dad has been dating this woman for ~2 years. She makes efforts to spend time with me and I do not understand why. We are polite, cordial, she is nice to me (and I'd expect nothing less) but I am 23, I will likely be living somewhere else soon. (For school) I already live alone ~80% of the time, taking care of the house while my Dad is up at her house.

I do not see any reason to establish any type of relationship with her beyond being polite, cordial, and comfortable enough for her to be over here or what not.

I was at my Grandpa's house for his birthday yesterday. It was my whole immediate family, and then her. What the ******? Doesn't she have her own ****** family? My Aunt is divorced too but you didn't see her boyfriend there.

Then she said to me at the party "I'm glad you came..." ??? What the hell? She's the guest, does she think that because she's come to 5 or 6 family functions that I couldn't make becuase of school or work stuff that suddenly she's can talk to me like I'm the guest????

This morning she left a note on the fridge saying "I am glad you came, I am looking forward to spending more time with you."

She is nice to me as I would expect, but why this effort to spend more time with me?

To some extent I inherently distrust her because I see a chance that our interests will conflict.

Honestly: sounds like she's going out of her way to be nice and develop a relationship with you, and you sound like a selfish 5-year-old adjusting to his new live-in stepmom. Its natural to resent step-parents if you're young, but you're a grown man, and plenty old enough to start seeing your dad as a man, rather than as your "daddy". So please consider the following:

1. This woman loves your father; you are very important to your father; therefore, becoming closer to you is important to this woman. Why? Because it makes your dad happy. So this woman is voluntarily engaging in an awkward situation in order to MAKE YOUR DAD HAPPY...which probably means she loves him. Also, you are "part" of your dad's life, so by getting to know you, she is not only pleasing him, but she's also getting to know him better as well.

2. Don't you take your girlfriend to family events? Most people do. So she is there as your dad's "date", not your new mommy. Every man wants his family to know, accept, and love his woman. What if Dad said, "Hey son, please come to the next family reunion, but don't bring your b*tch"? If he considers her part of the family, then so should you.

3. You are a grown man, so you can understand that dad is also a man, with needs of his own. This is not about YOU, its about him. So don't treat her well for your own sake, do so for HIS sake (he's had to consider your snotty little wants and needs for 23 years, so now you can do the same for him). Does his happiness not mean anything to you?

So whenever this annoying woman tries to bond with you, just be nice and tell yourself you're doing it for your dad.

 

[y2kc]

Originally posted by: Frackal

Originally posted by: Shortcut
Seems like she's making a genuine effort to befriend you. You're an adult - so behave like one and reciprocate the goodwill.

I AM very friendly to her and make an effort to be nice and kind and allow them to feel comfortable around me.

But am I really obligated to become friends with her? I wish I could explain all the factors going into my point of view on this. Unless they do get married or something, I think a basic, friendly, fairly comfortable relationship is quite fine. I don't believe I owe her my friendship or what not ... it just isn't necessary, I barely see her.

was she "the other woman"? if so i can understand your reluctance. do you feel that taking the extra step would be a betrayal to your mother?

i guess it's really none of my business but the reason i ask is that i can tell that my son (17) is going to resent my next partner as well (he's shown signs while i was in a brief relationship a while after his mom and i broke up) and i fail to see the reason behind it.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Frackal

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

Listen, the fact of the matter is, you're being an immature brat here.

There is no other way to put that.

You DO have a need to know her, because she is your father's partner.

I would recommend ceasing the namecalling and start reading my posts instead. I do know her. I am friendly with her. It is pretty comfortable when we are around one another. We joke and stuff. But I do not see any need for me to spend time with her at length, go places, etc. We won't be living together.

Do you really think that I am obligated to become close with her? I do not. I don't see it as necessary to my dad's happiness with her, which is the only reason why I would do it, and it is not of interest to me.

Living together has nothing to do with it. It's all about establishing a positive relationship as she becomes part of your family.

I called you a brat because you're acting like one. Sorry if my vocabulary isn't up to your standards.

 

[Kev]

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass.

 

[linkgoron]

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: linkgoron

Originally posted by: Amused

Originally posted by: linkgoron

Originally posted by: Frackal
I was at my Grandpa's house for his birthday yesterday. It was my whole immediate family, and then her. What the ******? Doesn't she have her own ****** family? My Aunt is divorced too but you didn't see her boyfriend there.

Please don't bring your GF/wife to dinner/holidays/birthdays/whatever with your family... Doesn't she have her own family to be with?!

Bullsh!t. There is nothing wrong with bringing a long-term, serious partner to a family get together.

If they get married, will they no longer have their own family???

Didn't think that through, did you?

Sarcasem detector(whatever) broken?

Dammit, I've been too lazy to change the batteries.

Happens sometimes...