Help me out here. My Dad's Girlfriend keeps making efforts to

[Polish3d]

Originally posted by: Sukhoi

Originally posted by: Frackal
No, honestly this forum is filled with assh0les. Every time someone posts a thread you get 30-80% of people who post with something derisive, nasty, personal, etc... it wouldn't suprise me if most of you were cowards in real life, and frankly, it is pretty unwise to make the type of loose judgements I see here over and over.

When someone who has read one or two posts says "You're a f*cking asshole/idiot/moron/gay for your dad" or whatever it is really amazing in its absurdity.

It is almost always a waste to post anything personal in these forums because you have 30 inevitable losers coming out of the woodwork to rip apart the OP regardless of what they say.

I'll take the advice of the few and give her a greater chance, I guess, I just would prefer not to adopt a mother figure and don't understand why I am obligated to do so. I have a mom, and as I said, I am already nice and friendly with her, I just don't see a need to know her.

The rest of you who are posting these unclever little remarks or insults are essentially irrelevant. I don't care enough beyond typing this out what someone with your levels of info say, and it indicates something about you anyway that you would say it.

The few? It's everyone in the thread!

Most people on here posting as rudely as they are are doing so because they enjoy it. It happens on every single thread. I don't view the opinions of people who post things like that as important. Particularly when they are ignoring the actual question and instead just leaping to false conclusions "the jealous over Dad's attention" and such.

 

[Malignantx]

Originally posted by: Frackal

Originally posted by: Cal166

Originally posted by: Kev

Originally posted by: Frackal
So my dad has been dating this woman for ~2 years. She makes efforts to spend time with me and I do not understand why. We are polite, cordial, she is nice to me (and I'd expect nothing less) but I am 23, I will likely be living somewhere else soon. (For school) I already live alone ~80% of the time, taking care of the house while my Dad is up at her house.

I do not see any reason to establish any type of relationship with her beyond being polite, cordial, and comfortable enough for her to be over here or what not.



I was at my Grandpa's house for his birthday yesterday. It was my whole immediate family, and then her. What the ******? Doesn't she have her own ****** family? My Aunt is divorced too but you didn't see her boyfriend there.

Then she said to me at the party "I'm glad you came..." ??? What the hell? She's the guest, does she think that because she's come to 5 or 6 family functions that I couldn't make becuase of school or work stuff that suddenly she's can talk to me like I'm the guest????



This morning she left a note on the fridge saying "I am glad you came, I am looking forward to spending more time with you."

She is nice to me as I would expect, but why this effort to spend more time with me?

To some extent I inherently distrust her because I see a chance that our interests will conflict.

You seem like a real asshole.

I concur.

Really? Unimportant. Wholesale judgements made about a person from one post only indicate more about the person who would make such a judgement. You know nothing about me.


All I want to know is why she might wish to make such an effort to establish some sort of relationship with me. I won't even be around much longer, it just isn't necessary.

spoken like a true vulcan..

 

[Proletariat]

Amused you are seriously an ass.

Have you been in this position at this time in your life?

If no, seriously stfu.

 

[DAGTA]

Originally posted by: Frackal
Most people on here posting as rudely as they are are doing so because they enjoy it. It happens on every single thread. I don't view the opinions of people who post things like that as important. Particularly when they are ignoring the actual question and instead just leaping to false conclusions "the jealous over Dad's attention" and such.

Here you go

 

[BoomerD]

Dude, you're sure coming across like some little spoiled d*ck...IF she marries your dad, then she WILL technically, be your step-mom...like it or not...It sounds like she's TRYING to get on good terms with you, why are you being such a pussy about things?

NO, you DON'T have to be nice to her, or try to get to know her.
YES, it would probably make life better for your dad, (but it sounds like you don't care about that )
NO, you DON'T have to ever accept her in ANY way, nor even talk to her if you so choose
YES, it sure makes you look like a little b*tch...

Grow up, and accept that your parents are divorced, and your dad is/has moved on...

 

[interchange]

Here's an idea:

Why don't you talk to her about it? Let her know what you think -- that you're not ready for a new mom, that you're an adult, and that you appreciate her taking an interest in you, but you need to keep some professional distance for the time being. If she can't understand your position in that, then she's the insensitive one.

 

[Amused]

Originally posted by: Proletariat
Amused you are seriously an ass.

Have you been in this position at this time in your life?

If no, seriously stfu.

You pick ME out of all these other people to call an ass?

He's being a brat.

Now go worship your Che shirt and leave the adults to their business.

 

[Buck Armstrong]

Originally posted by: y2kc

Originally posted by: Frackal

Originally posted by: Shortcut
Seems like she's making a genuine effort to befriend you. You're an adult - so behave like one and reciprocate the goodwill.

I AM very friendly to her and make an effort to be nice and kind and allow them to feel comfortable around me.

But am I really obligated to become friends with her? I wish I could explain all the factors going into my point of view on this. Unless they do get married or something, I think a basic, friendly, fairly comfortable relationship is quite fine. I don't believe I owe her my friendship or what not ... it just isn't necessary, I barely see her.

was she "the other woman"? if so i can understand your reluctance. do you feel that taking the extra step would be a betrayal to your mother?

I didn't even consider this possibilty. If she was "the other woman" before your parents divorced, then I can totally understand not even wanting to see or talk to her.

 

[SoulAssassin]

Originally posted by: purbeast0

dude my mom and dad split up 17 years ago when I was 7 and it was because my dad was having an affair, and now he's married to her and has a kid that is now 13 with her and my mom and him do not have a good relationship, so don't give me this crap about how tough going through a divorce is for the children, because i've been there done that way longer than you apparently have been.

It's all your fault they split up because you're a bad son. He wanted to have a son that wasn't as much of a c0ck.

 

[Tommouse]

No sympathy from me, my parents divorced when I was around 10, so about 10 years ago or so. I don't know I was just pretty young. Both have remarried. One for the better, one ... not so much. My step-dad is the freaking man, I am closer with him than my actual dad. My step-mom ... should fall off the face of the earth. What a waste of space, this past weekend she somehow called my sister fat (I heard this through my sister & my mom [not the most neutral sources on the subject]). So I'm guessing (at least hoping) that she wasn't that rude/insulting. Anyways, there is no reason to say that, even if my sister is a bit "plump" my step mom has no room to talk. She has also made snide comments me behind my back that my sister heard and relayed back to me.

So I'm batting .500 on the step parents. I can deal, I lived with my mom & step dad and am in college now and don't see my dad and step mom too much, a dinner here or there but that?s about it. I now just try to spend time with just my dad because that is where he can come out and be the man I knew before my step mom got her claws in him.

So be happy, be very happy that your dads g/f wants to get to know you. It could be much worse.

 

[Superself]

Originally posted by: gigapet
your too old to be posting this kinda stuff.

LMAO!

 

[GuitarDaddy]

I have to agree with everyone else, this is a classic case

1. Parents divorce badly
2. Child holds out hope it was all a bad dream, and Mom and Dad will reunite one day
3. Someone comes along that closes the door on that dream
4. Child becomes distant and resentful
5. New potential step parent tries to reach out to the child
6. Child rejects them

The reason everyone here is bagging on you so hard is, your not a child your a grown man and should be above this childish type behavior. Posting it here only reinforces the childishness.

Your an adult, if you don't want anything to do with her that is completely within your rights, however disrespectful it may be to your dad.

 

[Proletariat]

"Then she said to me at the party "I'm glad you came..." ??? What the hell? She's the guest, does she think that because she's come to 5 or 6 family functions that I couldn't make becuase of school or work stuff that suddenly she's can talk to me like I'm the guest????"

hes exactly right.

Shes a guest, this is his family what right does she have to say something like that?

 

[Tobolo]

She wants to BONE YOU!!!!

 

[EatSpam]

Originally posted by: Proletariat
"Then she said to me at the party "I'm glad you came..." ??? What the hell? She's the guest, does she think that because she's come to 5 or 6 family functions that I couldn't make becuase of school or work stuff that suddenly she's can talk to me like I'm the guest????"

hes exactly right.

Shes a guest, this is his family what right does she have to say something like that?

uh, you're reading too much into this. All she said was that she was glad to see him.

 

[loup garou]

Originally posted by: Proletariat
"Then she said to me at the party "I'm glad you came..." ??? What the hell? She's the guest, does she think that because she's come to 5 or 6 family functions that I couldn't make becuase of school or work stuff that suddenly she's can talk to me like I'm the guest????"

hes exactly right.

Shes a guest, this is his family what right does she have to say something like that?

To the pitchforks and torches!

:roll:

 

[BigJ]

Originally posted by: Proletariat
"Then she said to me at the party "I'm glad you came..." ??? What the hell? She's the guest, does she think that because she's come to 5 or 6 family functions that I couldn't make becuase of school or work stuff that suddenly she's can talk to me like I'm the guest????"

hes exactly right.

Shes a guest, this is his family what right does she have to say something like that?

Or how about she was genuinely glad he came to the function because she's missed him the last few ones?

She's not talking to him like a guest, she's talking to him like a person who genuinely wants to spend time with him.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: Proletariat
"Then she said to me at the party "I'm glad you came..." ??? What the hell? She's the guest, does she think that because she's come to 5 or 6 family functions that I couldn't make becuase of school or work stuff that suddenly she's can talk to me like I'm the guest????"

hes exactly right.

Shes a guest, this is his family what right does she have to say something like that?

You're just as much of an asshole as the OP. Why don't you two go cut yourselves, or eat other? Then you can cry your emo-kid angst about how your life isn't fair, etc etc.

- M4H

 

[GuitarDaddy]

Originally posted by: Proletariat
"Then she said to me at the party "I'm glad you came..." ??? What the hell? She's the guest, does she think that because she's come to 5 or 6 family functions that I couldn't make becuase of school or work stuff that suddenly she's can talk to me like I'm the guest????"

hes exactly right.

Shes a guest, this is his family what right does she have to say something like that?

You must be 13 also?


Since when is saying "I'm glad you came" treating someone like a guest?
I guess she should have said "WTF are you doing here"

 

[Polish3d]

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy
I have to agree with everyone else, this is a classic case

1. Parents divorce badly
2. Child holds out hope it was all a bad dream, and Mom and Dad will reunite one day
3. Someone comes along that closes the door on that dream
4. Child becomes distant and resentful
5. New potential step parent tries to reach out to the child
6. Child rejects them

The reason everyone here is bagging on you so hard is, your not a child your a grown man and should be above this childish type behavior. Posting it here only reinforces the childishness.

Your an adult, if you don't want anything to do with her that is completely within your rights, however disrespectful it may be to your dad.

Wrong again. What is with you people thinking you can come to such sweeping conclusions after two posts. My mom has been re-married for a long time.


Look, this is almost a waste of time, other than to provide the vultures of ATOT another person to pick on.


Let me make this point for the billionth time, since some of you pundits never seem to read as much as you write.

I AM FRIENDLY TO HER. WE GET ALONG FINE. I DON'T SEE A NEED TO GO DO ACTIVITIES AND SUCH.



And here is a big reason why. I don't like posting personal stuff as I said because all most people in this forum like to do is rip others apart: My dad hates my mom so severely that I have learned not to even mention her around him. And I mean, not ever. I am not joking when I say that I lie about where I am going when I am going to see my mom becuase of how my dad reacts.

They have not spoken in 8 years. My mom treats me like an adult and allows me to speak of my father and in return I was glad to make efforts on her behalf to get to know my stepfather, who I like.

The way my father reacts about my mom, how he won't help my 18 year old sister at all with college pr anything else UNLESS she moves out of my mom's house and comes to live with him (he uses money as a weapon to carry on this endless battle with my mom).


THIS IS really the reason why I resent the whole idea that I am supposed to make a friendship with this new person. I don't mind being congenial and allowing my dad to be happy with her, beyond that though, I am not certain.

 

[JS80]

so...is she hot?

 

[Phoenix86]

Self-ownage 2006

 

[loup garou]

Originally posted by: Frackal
And here is a big reason why. I don't like posting personal stuff as I said because all most people in this forum like to do is rip others apart: My dad hates my mom so severely that I have learned not to even mention her around him. And I mean, not ever. I am not joking when I say that I lie about where I am going when I am going to see my mom becuase of how my dad reacts.

They have not spoken in 8 years. My mom treats me like an adult and allows me to speak of my father and in return I was glad to make efforts on her behalf to get to know my stepfather, who I like.

The way my father reacts about my mom, how he won't help my 18 year old sister at all with college pr anything else UNLESS she moves out of my mom's house and comes to live with him (he uses money as a weapon to carry on this endless battle with my mom).


THIS IS really the reason why I resent the whole idea that I am supposed to make a friendship with this new person. I don't mind being congenial and allowing my dad to be happy with her, beyond that though, I am not certain. [/b]

At least now we know where you get it from...christ.

 

[KarenMarie]

She probably just wants to have a relationship with you. she is your dad's choice and wants you to be more than ok with it.

maybe you are reading more into it than there is. Her telling you that she is glad you came... might mean nothing more than she is glad you came because she knows it will please your dad.

if you cause a fuss, you will be putting your dad in a very awkward position.

and maybe.... if you give her 1/2 a chance, she could be a good friend to you.

EDIT: "THIS IS really the reason why I resent the whole idea that I am supposed to make a friendship with this new person. I don't mind being congenial and allowing my dad to be happy with her, beyond that though, I am not certain. "

So, you are taking it out on this woman, who did nothing to you, because your dad is unreasonable? Just asking.

 

[BigJ]

Originally posted by: Frackal



And here is a big reason why. I don't like posting personal stuff as I said because all most people in this forum like to do is rip others apart: My dad hates my mom so severely that I have learned not to even mention her around him. And I mean, not ever. I am not joking when I say that I lie about where I am going when I am going to see my mom becuase of how my dad reacts.

They have not spoken in 8 years. My mom treats me like an adult and allows me to speak of my father and in return I was glad to make efforts on her behalf to get to know my stepfather, who I like.

The way my father reacts about my mom, how he won't help my 18 year old sister at all with college pr anything else UNLESS she moves out of my mom's house and comes to live with him (he uses money as a weapon to carry on this endless battle with my mom).


THIS IS really the reason why I resent the whole idea that I am supposed to make a friendship with this new person. I don't mind being congenial and allowing my dad to be happy with her, beyond that though, I am not certain.

So what it comes down to is your getting back at your dad by distancing yourself from his partner.