Originally posted by: Codegen
Really. You can then have all the boppin' you want with no rugrat risk
Wanna know how I came into this world?
no
Originally posted by: Pepsi90919
Originally posted by: Codegen
Really. You can then have all the boppin' you want with no rugrat risk
Wanna know how I came into this world?
no
that's why the doctor asks you to drop off a "sample" every month for a few months the procedure is done. To make sure you don't have any sperm in your goo. Nothing like bringing in a cup of your own semen to a hot nurse
Oh, and it has to be fresh stuff too. SO you know she knows that you just wacked off before coming in to see her
Engineer
Elite Member
- Oct 9, 1999
- 39,230
- 701
- 126
Two times. Wasn't any better (or worse) the 2nd time around.
Never...and I mean Never...walk out of a vasectomy and say "Thank God that I don't ever have to do that again!".
Two months later, the doc. could (and did in my case) call and say "sir, I think we missed one! We'll do the 2nd one for free"!
Oh, the needle in the sack was the worst part...both times. Burns!!!
And the sizzle of the burning of the vas after cutting was nauseating...yuck!
Edit: I asked what the large pad attached to my leg was and they said it was to "ground" me to keep me from being shocked to death as they coiterized (speel?) the vas after they were cut. Talk about being in the electric chair! :Q
Oh, and Fritzo...it was the largest needle that I've ever seen. Must have been gallon size, or so it seemed!
Never...and I mean Never...walk out of a vasectomy and say "Thank God that I don't ever have to do that again!".
Two months later, the doc. could (and did in my case) call and say "sir, I think we missed one! We'll do the 2nd one for free"!
Oh, the needle in the sack was the worst part...both times. Burns!!!
And the sizzle of the burning of the vas after cutting was nauseating...yuck!
Edit: I asked what the large pad attached to my leg was and they said it was to "ground" me to keep me from being shocked to death as they coiterized (speel?) the vas after they were cut. Talk about being in the electric chair! :Q
Oh, and Fritzo...it was the largest needle that I've ever seen. Must have been gallon size, or so it seemed!
Originally posted by: redly1
Originally posted by: Pepsi90919
Originally posted by: Codegen
Really. You can then have all the boppin' you want with no rugrat risk
Wanna know how I came into this world?
no
that's why the doctor asks you to drop off a "sample" every month for a few months the procedure is done. To make sure you don't have any sperm in your goo. Nothing like bringing in a cup of your own semen to a hot nurse
Oh, and it has to be fresh stuff too. SO you know she knows that you just wacked off before coming in to see her
This brings up an interesting question:
If Nik (who has never masturbated) were to one day get a vasectomy and his doctor were to prescribe masturbation, how would he get a sample?
"Sir, I think you forgot to bring us a sample."
::spies hot nurse::
"No problem... coming right up..."
I wonder if doctors actually TELL people to do that... how do they expect them to get a sample otherwise?
::spies hot nurse::
"No problem... coming right up..."
I wonder if doctors actually TELL people to do that... how do they expect them to get a sample otherwise?
I had one over eight years ago. I was 33 at the time.
Of course my wife was OK with it. I figured after making my wife pregnant for the ninth
time, I did not want anymore children. (We only have seven kids, three miscarriages,
and before anyone asks, one pregnancy was a ground rule double.)
I had the operation on a Friday morning, the shot wasnt too bad.
I also could smell the burning of the VAS. There was a discomfort as I could feel the
doctor yanking on the VAS to get more of it and that was uncomfortable.
I laid on the couch for the weekend with ICE on my manly parts.
By monday I was back in operating mode. I tried it out and it still worked.
I am still making the wife happy with my performance. We have not had one
more child since then.
This is a very important (impotent) decision, the advice the doc gives you, is to consider
this operation non-reversible. So store away some of your manly juice just in case there
is a change of heart later on.
Of course my wife was OK with it. I figured after making my wife pregnant for the ninth
time, I did not want anymore children. (We only have seven kids, three miscarriages,
and before anyone asks, one pregnancy was a ground rule double.)
I had the operation on a Friday morning, the shot wasnt too bad.
I also could smell the burning of the VAS. There was a discomfort as I could feel the
doctor yanking on the VAS to get more of it and that was uncomfortable.
I laid on the couch for the weekend with ICE on my manly parts.
By monday I was back in operating mode. I tried it out and it still worked.
I am still making the wife happy with my performance. We have not had one
more child since then.
This is a very important (impotent) decision, the advice the doc gives you, is to consider
this operation non-reversible. So store away some of your manly juice just in case there
is a change of heart later on.
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
I had 1 many moons ago. Had it done Fri morn, ice all weekend back at work on monday but I didnt want anything to do with heavy lifting. Wendsday thursday I was fine. I'd say it's like getting a tooth pulled. Do not consider it peremant, most men will revert in time. On the other hand it may not be reverceable. One fun side affect I had was a rupured sperm duct about a year later. It can happen, nothing to do about it, just a real crappy week. Doc gave me a script to give the wife after the operation, it said "Flush the system". I wore that piece of paper out (Doctors orders). Fill the cup 90 days later (mabee 30 days was a while ago) I passed muster. Free sperm counts for life if you want to check.
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
Originally posted by: djheater
Originally posted by: redly1
Originally posted by: Pepsi90919
Originally posted by: Codegen
Really. You can then have all the boppin' you want with no rugrat risk
Wanna know how I came into this world?
no
that's why the doctor asks you to drop off a "sample" every month for a few months the procedure is done. To make sure you don't have any sperm in your goo. Nothing like bringing in a cup of your own semen to a hot nurse
Oh, and it has to be fresh stuff too. SO you know she knows that you just wacked off before coming in to see her
This brings up an interesting question:
If Nik (who has never masturbated) were to one day get a vasectomy and his doctor were to prescribe masturbation, how would he get a sample?
Easy. Collect it in a condom (non-spermicidal variety.)
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
Nik has never masturbated?Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Originally posted by: djheater
Originally posted by: redly1
Originally posted by: Pepsi90919
Originally posted by: Codegen
Really. You can then have all the boppin' you want with no rugrat risk
Wanna know how I came into this world?
no
that's why the doctor asks you to drop off a "sample" every month for a few months the procedure is done. To make sure you don't have any sperm in your goo. Nothing like bringing in a cup of your own semen to a hot nurse
Oh, and it has to be fresh stuff too. SO you know she knows that you just wacked off before coming in to see her
This brings up an interesting question:
If Nik (who has never masturbated) were to one day get a vasectomy and his doctor were to prescribe masturbation, how would he get a sample?
Easy. Collect it in a condom (non-spermicidal variety.)
shens
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
IronWing
No Lifer
- Jul 20, 2001
- 73,161
- 34,484
- 136
Good. Go get wacked. Doc will hand you a pamplet, you'll say "cool". He'll say come back in two weeks if you don't cahnge your mind, snip-snip, wait, done, no kids, amen.
Tell the busy bodies who try to convince you that you might want kids to shove off.
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
don't be an ass. just because someone suggests he may regret the decision doesn't mean they are busy bodies.
IronWing
No Lifer
- Jul 20, 2001
- 73,161
- 34,484
- 136
Originally posted by: moshquerade
don't be an ass. just because someone suggests he may regret the decision doesn't mean they are busy bodies.
He has already stated that he's thought it through, discussed with others, and doesn't want kids. His question was about the procedure, not whether he wants kids or not.
Fritzo
Lifer
- Jan 3, 2001
- 41,920
- 2,161
- 126
OK, I have some time now to tell the tale:
My wife made the appt. for me, and I go to the doctor, who's name is (I am NOT kidding here) Dr. Dick Tapper. I didn't feel too comfortable with that, but I find out the guy is like a leader in the field, so I feel better. If you've done 20000 of these things, you can't screw it up. The next visit, I have to strip and put on a butt showing gown, then they put me on a table not unlike that one in the Frankenstein movies (sans those lightning shooting ball thingies).
Jeff the Gay Nurse comes in while I'm on the table, and goes "HI HI THIMPLY HI! You're here to get your vas snipped today?" I didn't know how to respond to that, so stupidly I go "Uhhh...yes." Jeff then flips open the undercarriage and starts inspecting the patient. He mentions something about a jungle, then starts shaving (my vision is blocked by a sheet- probably don't want to watch someone holding a razor down there anyway). I personally think he spent a little too much time down there, but then again, I can't see what he's doing.
Dr. Tapper arrives, and exclaimed "Finally...a large set! Those are so much easier. Been working on little guys all day!" I took that as a compliment. The Dr. asks Jeff the Gay Nurse to get the anesthetic ready. I'm thinking I'm going to get gassed or something...then Jeff the Gay Nurse proceeds to pull out THE BIGGEST FREAKIN NEEDLE I'VE EVER SEEN!!! Dr. Tapper pinches my sack quite firmly and says "You're going to feel a little pinch." Before I can say "MOMMY!" the Dr. jabs THE BIGGEST FREAKIN NEEDLE I'VE EVER SEEN through the sack area. The length of this needle surely went all the way though, then through the mattress and the anesthetic drained into a bucket underneath (this is an insurance scam- they probably reuse it for the next poor sap). The resulting sensation was not unlike someone wearing spiked steel toe boots getting a running start and doing a flying Ju-Su-Kwan-Do kick directly on the bull's-eye. My breath was taken away, so there was no scream, but there was a bit of a full body spasm. Jeff The Gay Nurse took my hand and started saying "You'll be OK in a minute." Jeff The Gay Nurse did not make me feel better.
Numbness set in around the loins, and once again I was at rest. Then, as if he was performing some kind of blessing ceremony, the good Dr. starts holding his tools up to the light one by one to inspect them. First there was this miniature meat hook, then a tiny scythe looking thing (something the Grim Reaper for Midgets would carry), a soldiering iron (again...not kidding. At least it wasn't an arc welder- my insurance didn't cover that).
Dr. Tapper and Jeff The Gay Nurse crouch over and get to work. It sounds like they're shaking a silverware tray down there, and I feel pokes and prods, but nothing bad. The Dr. says "OK, you're going to feel a little tug." No problem...I've been tugging that area for years. What he failed to mention was he was going to be tugging my innards out through a hole he made while distracting me with a shaking silverware tray...the bastard!!! This was a strange feeling...as if someone tied a string to your intestines and started to pull them out of an orifice. I let out a hearty ascending "ooooOOOOOOOOOOOHGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Jeff The Gay Nurse promptly gave the good Dr. another needle, which he didn't bother inserting (why bother, my insides were outside at that point) and he started squirting the needle all over. "Better?" he asked. "Yes...*pant pant*....that much...*pant pant*...better." I was ready to ask if I could suck on one of those syringe things in the hopes I would be knocked out.
Misfortune came my way in the form of a loose sheet. The blocking sheet fell down on one side, allowing me to see the good Dr. holding a tube (much like a piece of spaghetti) out of a hole in the sack with a little meat hook, and then getting ready to SOLDIER IT!!! I was like an XBox waiting for a mod chip! He sticks it on the tube, which begins to smoke. My nuts were smoking. Yes...smoking. The tube breaks, and then he ties a square knot in both ends (I confirmed this with my Cub Scout manual after the procedure). The nuts stopped smoking around this point, which is a good thing. Jeff The Gay Nurse gave the good Dr. a needle and some thread...sewed up a couple of things with a lovely cross stitch...and then declared "All done!" I was told to lay there for 15 minutes to contemplate the tortures that I underwent in order to have nonchildmaking sex. Well...at least I can get busy without fumbling for condoms now.
WRONG!!!! I was told by the hot desk receptionist "No ejaculations for 2 weeks"..as if she were mocking my situation. 2 WEEKS! The last time I went 2 weeks without spilling some was when I was 16 and broke both arms---and even then I found a way! That was the roughest part.
I had to drop off "samples" 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks, and 6 months afterwards to make sure I had no swimmers left. It was interesting telling the wife I needed to go crank one off for the doctor. I was deemed sterile after 6 weeks, and the fun began.
Only side effect is I get a bit of itching around the scar. I didn't get any swelling or infections like some people. You're supposed to lay down for three days...I have the feeling that people that don't do this are the ones that get problems. You FEEL like you can go for a 5 mile hike afterwards, but after 30 minutes on your feet you get a throbbing like you won't believe down there (not the good kind either).
So, that's my story. This is also the longest thing I've ever posted to ATOT! Am I supposed to do cliffs or something?
My wife made the appt. for me, and I go to the doctor, who's name is (I am NOT kidding here) Dr. Dick Tapper. I didn't feel too comfortable with that, but I find out the guy is like a leader in the field, so I feel better. If you've done 20000 of these things, you can't screw it up. The next visit, I have to strip and put on a butt showing gown, then they put me on a table not unlike that one in the Frankenstein movies (sans those lightning shooting ball thingies).
Jeff the Gay Nurse comes in while I'm on the table, and goes "HI HI THIMPLY HI! You're here to get your vas snipped today?" I didn't know how to respond to that, so stupidly I go "Uhhh...yes." Jeff then flips open the undercarriage and starts inspecting the patient. He mentions something about a jungle, then starts shaving (my vision is blocked by a sheet- probably don't want to watch someone holding a razor down there anyway). I personally think he spent a little too much time down there, but then again, I can't see what he's doing.
Dr. Tapper arrives, and exclaimed "Finally...a large set! Those are so much easier. Been working on little guys all day!" I took that as a compliment. The Dr. asks Jeff the Gay Nurse to get the anesthetic ready. I'm thinking I'm going to get gassed or something...then Jeff the Gay Nurse proceeds to pull out THE BIGGEST FREAKIN NEEDLE I'VE EVER SEEN!!! Dr. Tapper pinches my sack quite firmly and says "You're going to feel a little pinch." Before I can say "MOMMY!" the Dr. jabs THE BIGGEST FREAKIN NEEDLE I'VE EVER SEEN through the sack area. The length of this needle surely went all the way though, then through the mattress and the anesthetic drained into a bucket underneath (this is an insurance scam- they probably reuse it for the next poor sap). The resulting sensation was not unlike someone wearing spiked steel toe boots getting a running start and doing a flying Ju-Su-Kwan-Do kick directly on the bull's-eye. My breath was taken away, so there was no scream, but there was a bit of a full body spasm. Jeff The Gay Nurse took my hand and started saying "You'll be OK in a minute." Jeff The Gay Nurse did not make me feel better.
Numbness set in around the loins, and once again I was at rest. Then, as if he was performing some kind of blessing ceremony, the good Dr. starts holding his tools up to the light one by one to inspect them. First there was this miniature meat hook, then a tiny scythe looking thing (something the Grim Reaper for Midgets would carry), a soldiering iron (again...not kidding. At least it wasn't an arc welder- my insurance didn't cover that).
Dr. Tapper and Jeff The Gay Nurse crouch over and get to work. It sounds like they're shaking a silverware tray down there, and I feel pokes and prods, but nothing bad. The Dr. says "OK, you're going to feel a little tug." No problem...I've been tugging that area for years. What he failed to mention was he was going to be tugging my innards out through a hole he made while distracting me with a shaking silverware tray...the bastard!!! This was a strange feeling...as if someone tied a string to your intestines and started to pull them out of an orifice. I let out a hearty ascending "ooooOOOOOOOOOOOHGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Jeff The Gay Nurse promptly gave the good Dr. another needle, which he didn't bother inserting (why bother, my insides were outside at that point) and he started squirting the needle all over. "Better?" he asked. "Yes...*pant pant*....that much...*pant pant*...better." I was ready to ask if I could suck on one of those syringe things in the hopes I would be knocked out.
Misfortune came my way in the form of a loose sheet. The blocking sheet fell down on one side, allowing me to see the good Dr. holding a tube (much like a piece of spaghetti) out of a hole in the sack with a little meat hook, and then getting ready to SOLDIER IT!!! I was like an XBox waiting for a mod chip! He sticks it on the tube, which begins to smoke. My nuts were smoking. Yes...smoking. The tube breaks, and then he ties a square knot in both ends (I confirmed this with my Cub Scout manual after the procedure). The nuts stopped smoking around this point, which is a good thing. Jeff The Gay Nurse gave the good Dr. a needle and some thread...sewed up a couple of things with a lovely cross stitch...and then declared "All done!" I was told to lay there for 15 minutes to contemplate the tortures that I underwent in order to have nonchildmaking sex. Well...at least I can get busy without fumbling for condoms now.
WRONG!!!! I was told by the hot desk receptionist "No ejaculations for 2 weeks"..as if she were mocking my situation. 2 WEEKS! The last time I went 2 weeks without spilling some was when I was 16 and broke both arms---and even then I found a way! That was the roughest part.
I had to drop off "samples" 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks, and 6 months afterwards to make sure I had no swimmers left. It was interesting telling the wife I needed to go crank one off for the doctor. I was deemed sterile after 6 weeks, and the fun began.
Only side effect is I get a bit of itching around the scar. I didn't get any swelling or infections like some people. You're supposed to lay down for three days...I have the feeling that people that don't do this are the ones that get problems. You FEEL like you can go for a 5 mile hike afterwards, but after 30 minutes on your feet you get a throbbing like you won't believe down there (not the good kind either).
So, that's my story. This is also the longest thing I've ever posted to ATOT! Am I supposed to do cliffs or something?
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
episodic
Lifer
- Feb 7, 2004
- 11,088
- 2
- 81
I have had one. I had two kids, that was enough for me.
I was put under for mine.
I woke up, had to wear a jock strap for a while, keep real clean, etc.
I had no pain, minimal swelling, etc.
I just got rechecked (it has been 6 years) and I am totally sterile still.
No ill effects.
I was put under for mine.
I woke up, had to wear a jock strap for a while, keep real clean, etc.
I had no pain, minimal swelling, etc.
I just got rechecked (it has been 6 years) and I am totally sterile still.
No ill effects.
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