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Funniest Chat Quotes

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<faustwork> the gf wants underwear for xmas
<faustwork> i cant stand going shopping for em tho
<faustwork> i feel like a goon
<faustwork> maybe its because i rub them all on my face
 
<DaGGeR> When you talk to a woman about sex it's sexual harassment but when they talk to you about sex it's $2.99 a minute =)
 
<{FDISK}> I've listened to so many MP3s I can identify the encoder and bitrate by ear.
<{FDISK}> Surprisingly, I'm still single.
 
punkass keith: did i tell you my aborted baby idea?
ecj: no what is it
punkass keith: if i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of beign pregnat so i would deliver a potatoe sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of perservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house. and i would do it until i had so many the rooms walls were nothign but potatoe sized aborted fetuses. then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy i could have aborted their ass.
 
ShortyMcStupid : Ever hear of Evel Knievel?
ShortyMcStupid : Well I'm going to be a daredevil like him.
ShortyMcStupid : Except I'm going to be Ku Klux Knievel.
ShortyMcStupid : I'm going to try to jump 50 black guys with a steam roller.
 
<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't shut the fuck up about being on atkins
 
Originally posted by: acid45
ShortyMcStupid : Ever hear of Evel Knievel?
ShortyMcStupid : Well I'm going to be a daredevil like him.
ShortyMcStupid : Except I'm going to be Ku Klux Knievel.
ShortyMcStupid : I'm going to try to jump 50 black guys with a steam roller.
Click to expand...

As Dave Chappelle once said.

You ever hear something so racist that you dont even get mad? You're just like "damn that was racist"
 
Originally posted by: acid45
punkass keith: did i tell you my aborted baby idea?
ecj: no what is it
punkass keith: if i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of beign pregnat so i would deliver a potatoe sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of perservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house. and i would do it until i had so many the rooms walls were nothign but potatoe sized aborted fetuses. then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy i could have aborted their ass.
Click to expand...

:shocked:
 
<baietas> hey ppl.. quick question.. just downloaded every KDE3.0.1 RPM for my distro (mandrake) but when i try to install it it asks for some other files taht i dont have.. what do i do?
<Epesh> get those files
 
<Crimson_Dynamo> If I were stranded on a desert isle, I think I would make a girl out of coconuts, but she'd probably just want to be friends

Cmon, someone else post some 🙂
 
<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/
 
Originally posted by: RedArmy
<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/
Click to expand...

nice... 🙂
 
Originally posted by: RadiclDreamer
Originally posted by: acid45
ShortyMcStupid : Ever hear of Evel Knievel?
ShortyMcStupid : Well I'm going to be a daredevil like him.
ShortyMcStupid : Except I'm going to be Ku Klux Knievel.
ShortyMcStupid : I'm going to try to jump 50 black guys with a steam roller.
Click to expand...

As Dave Chappelle once said.

You ever hear something so racist that you dont even get mad? You're just like "damn that was racist"
Click to expand...

qft
 
milnarmo: damn i'm never gonna get a fishing license
milnarmo: lucky i already have my phishing license
darkwing14: what?
milnarmo: please enter your credit card number and expiration date to continue this conversation
 
Originally posted by: Agentbolt
<someone> I liked the Swedish Chef the best
<someone else> Beeker wanted to kill people
<someone else> You could tell
<another someone else> It was in his eyes

Can't recall the names, but I always thought that was hysterical. I must be easily amused.
Click to expand...

I can't keep reading this stuff at work... now everyone is looking at me funny cause i can't stop laughing...
 
<evenpar123|Dean> how much is long distance?
<Slant> evenpar123|Dean: Depends on your carrier.
<evenpar123|Dean> Satan
<Slant> 666 cents a minute.
 
Originally posted by: RadiclDreamer
<Belial`> you still cant say anything with certainty though
<Belial`> since the bible has like, a fucking black hole between jesus being a kid and his preaching days
<Catoptromancy> Phase 1, birth
<Catoptromancy> Phase 2, ???
<Catoptromancy> Phase 3, Prophet
Click to expand...

lol
 
Originally posted by: iRONic
#10372 +(3455)- [X]

<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns
Click to expand...

HAHAHAHHA
 
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