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Funniest Chat Quotes

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<Rentasmo> there was a gay guy at a support group I went to who brought a dog in a bag
<Rentasmo> we didn't know he had a dog till he let it out
<Capnplank> did he bring enough for everyone?
<MrConceited> He was gay, not korean
 
#99835 +(16786)- [X]

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?
 
#2507 +(1018)- [X]

<briansex> i am sliding my hand up your leg what do u do?
<sully> I tell you I'm a guy?

#12547 +(373)- [X]

<veggie> when matthew was just learning to talk we were on the bus
<veggie> and he couldnt quite pronounce truck
<veggie> he pronounced it fuck
<sully> back to work with you 🙂
<sully> LOL veggie
<veggie> so he looks out the bus window and says really loud...
<veggie> OH MOMMY BIG FUCK
<sully> LOL!
<veggie> hahaha
<veggie> BIG HUGE FUCK
<veggie> firetruck = firefuck
<veggie> dumptruck = dumpfuck
<veggie> etc..

#12500 +(153)- [X]

<mrs> ontariom the phone is for you
<sully> OntarioM is ~Ontario@CPE************.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com * Toronto Man
<sully> OntarioM on #toronto #phonesex #masturbation
<sully> Coincidence?

Those are all yllus on this forum.
 
<AnimeMan> my bed is evil.
<norad> how so?
<AnimeMan> it's a spy.
<norad> how can a bed be a spy?
<AnimeMan> well at night.. it squeeks.
<AnimeMan> It's as if it's telling my mum, "he's masturbating, he's masturbating!"
 
Originally posted by: iRONic
*** Now talking in #12-15yrz
<Salamander> Hi all!!
<Petri> Hi a/s/l?
<Salamander> 53/m/CA
<Petri> I think ur in the rong place
<Salamander> Oh no, I dont think I am...
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Lol
 
Originally posted by: kthroyer
Maybe I'm the most immature 35yr old out there, but this one had me cracking up at work:

#796356 +(2948)- [X]

<MftS> Who the f*** is the one naming hurricanes?
<MftS> They somehow manage to give them the least threatening names ever.
<MftS> If I turned on the news and heard that Hurricane Erin was coming I'd think to myself, "Erin? I could take that slut."
<MftS> If I turned on the news and heard that Hurricane Dicksmasher was approaching, I'd grab all the money in the house, shove it in my pockets, and get the f*** out of there.

#796206 +(404)- [X]
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bwhahaha i had to LOL :laugh:
 
#797984 +(1442)- [X]

<+Scott> I had my dreams crushed yesterday. It turns out the newspaper headline "Village still looking for paedophile" wasn't a vacancy.
 
Originally posted by: RadiclDreamer
I was wondering of anyone would pick up on the Profit joke
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yea, i was laughing hysterically when i read that. sadly my gf doesnt get it 🙁. now she's mad at me cuz i wont explain it to her. not really funny if you have to explain it
 
Originally posted by: iRONic
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.
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LOL! :laugh:
 
*chuckle*

#577451 +(7168)- [X]

<DmncAtrny> I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING."
<DmncAtrny> And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer
<DmncAtrny> and run like hell
Click to expand...
 
<possessed27> i <3 philosophy
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> wtf does that mean
<possessed27> rotate it 90 degrees, you foo
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> wtf
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> i "ball sac" philosophy?
 
<Nash> YES&#8230;they caught the bastard who made the blaster virus
<Nash> looks like he will be getting 10 yrs max in prison
<DDR4life> serves him right
<DROSS> Someone is soon going to discover how strangely painful the shower hour in prison is
<FiringSquad> He&#8217;ll probably catch a different type of virus in prison
<LexiusTheGenuis> poor kids virginity is going to the recycle bin
<Sczoyd> cellmates will probably be giving him some rather large uploads
<Antibig> theyll be installing some new hardware in his rectum
<FiringSquad> looks like his unprotected port is going to be probed
<Sczoyd> I hope he doesnt mind other men using his hard drive
<JSP> a roll like him is going to get rolled a lot
<Sczoyd> his prison mates are going to have a lot of fun with their new laptop
<ShinKurro> someone will find out a new way to spread viruses
<Nash> okay, that wasn&#8217;t really called for.
 
Originally posted by: Dean

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
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hahahahhaha, oh man. even funnier than the 404 one.

bleh, i dont have bash.org at work. but i remember one:

<1> does anyone know python?
<2> hssssshssssssh
<1> the computer language.

 
SparTacus (rulimbaww@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
*SparTacus is now known as Betty_Guns
wacko Jacko (lbeedy@1C57684.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
<wacko_Jacko>ok spartacus just came n here i know it. which one of you is that loser?
<hunney> I am spartacus
<ji_pper>no im spartacus
<Betty_Guns>I am spartacus
<mistr andersn>I?m spartacus
<wacko_Jacko>ur all freaks thats what u r
 
Originally posted by: iRONic
<possessed27> i <3 philosophy
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> wtf does that mean
<possessed27> rotate it 90 degrees, you foo
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> wtf
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> i "ball sac" philosophy?
Click to expand...

:laugh:
 
<lawngnome> isnt chelsea clinton like, 10 years old?
<fire_hawk> what?! no! She's going to Stanford next year!
<lawngnome> wow...
<lawngnome> pretty f*cking smart 10 year old.
 
<Toke> I remember that time i was talking to mod on ICQ
<Toke> and she was telling me about how you guys confiscated your sons marijuana
<Toke> and she turned around and saw you rollin up a joint
<fodders_DS> i had to burn the evidence
 
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