Freedomsbeat's wild world of dating thread

[Wonderful Pork]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: gigapet
regardless of what her profile says she cannot change or prevent being attracted. If you create the attraction she will come 😉

On that note...When your hanging out with her....turn the tables on her.....Lets just be friends her FIRST! Tell her she is so cute and fun just like your little sister or soemthing to that effect. This may seem rediculous but lets face the facts chicks are rediculous and this may work to your advantage in this situation.

Really? Tell her that she reminds me of my sister? So play along with teh friends thing at first? Interesting approach!

not just reminds you of....emphasize it. Tell her she is so cute and fun you want to adopt her as your little sister.

this is a push pull strategy. She will be left thinking OMG why doesnt this guy wanna sleep with me like everyone else???

EDIT: just make sure you are congruent with this frame.

DUDE, you are a genuis.. Raelly, i never saw it this way at all... BRAVO again.

the less you want a girl, the more she will start to like you. Isn't that why most girls that like you aren't the ones you want to date? least, its that way for me...

 

[isasir]

LOL. Fun thread. If I were still single I'd probably be just like you, some confidence, some anxiety, but still a lost Indian guy in NY trying to find the one. 🙂

 

[sygyzy]

For someone who posts so many YAGT's, you sure do get a lot of dates. Even if they are not working out, you are getting more action than most guys.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: isasir
LOL. Fun thread. If I were still single I'd probably be just like you, some confidence, some anxiety, but still a lost Indian guy in NY trying to find the one. 🙂

🙂 Luckily I'm not the bitter Indian guy in NYC, just the lonely one with a sense of humor. Glad you appreciate this thread. I'm having a lot of fun updating it, no matter what happens. It allows me to stay honest and I've also received some great advice.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: sygyzy
For someone who posts so many YAGT's, you sure do get a lot of dates. Even if they are not working out, you are getting more action than most guys.

Well, here's my secret:

1) Have no fear
2) Have no shame
3) Be relatively friendly (not a push over)
4) Remember that you may die tomorrow so "I won't ask her today.. I'll ask her tomorrow!" isn't really an option
5) Rejection is somethign I expect, not fear..

I don't get action. I've been on this quest actively for 2 or 3 months and have had dozens of dates, held hands with a few girls (I'm so slick... For a 5 year old!) and made out with one. So, yeah, you can't be as pathetic as I am, I'm just at a point of gross indifference so it gives me this weird mutant ability to get dates. 😉

EDIT: Also, thanks to you guys, I'm learning from mistakes and not doing the same f-ups over and over again. Like remember how I posted "I held this girls hands and then things got weird." Someone replied "of course things got weird, you didn't make a move." The next time out I heard that advice in the back of my head and went for the move when I normallly would have waited for a "sign." SO, yeah, you guys are directly responsible for any "Action' that I might get. 😉

 

[slackerinabox]

8/26/05 -What to wear, what to wear???

OK, so I'm taking gigapet's great advice for the above situation - i'm hanging out with her yet will be very careful to make her think that i view her as a sister figure. BUT, she's very fashionable and I want to blend. I'm not trying to be fake, just respectful of her and the venue, know what I mean?

Any advice? this is her picture - not to be creepy but to understand her fashion sense.

http://www.swbfilms.com/sar.jpg
http://www.swbfilms.com/sar2.jpg

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
8/26/05 -What to wear, what to wear???

OK, so I'm taking gigapet's great advice for the above situation - i'm hanging out with her yet will be very careful to make her think that i view her as a sister figure. BUT, she's very fashionable and I want to blend. I'm not trying to be fake, just respectful of her and the venue, know what I mean?

Any advice? this is her picture - not to be creepy but to understand her fashion sense.

http://www.swbfilms.com/sar.jpg
http://www.swbfilms.com/sar2.jpg

she looks like she shops at gap. where are you going with her?

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
8/26/05 -What to wear, what to wear???

OK, so I'm taking gigapet's great advice for the above situation - i'm hanging out with her yet will be very careful to make her think that i view her as a sister figure. BUT, she's very fashionable and I want to blend. I'm not trying to be fake, just respectful of her and the venue, know what I mean?

Any advice? this is her picture - not to be creepy but to understand her fashion sense.

http://www.swbfilms.com/sar.jpg
http://www.swbfilms.com/sar2.jpg

she looks like she shops at gap. where are you going with her?

A burlesque show at a somewhat trendy nyc club

 

[gigapet]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: gigapet

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
8/26/05 -What to wear, what to wear???

OK, so I'm taking gigapet's great advice for the above situation - i'm hanging out with her yet will be very careful to make her think that i view her as a sister figure. BUT, she's very fashionable and I want to blend. I'm not trying to be fake, just respectful of her and the venue, know what I mean?

Any advice? this is her picture - not to be creepy but to understand her fashion sense.

http://www.swbfilms.com/sar.jpg
http://www.swbfilms.com/sar2.jpg

she looks like she shops at gap. where are you going with her?

A burlesque show at a somewhat trendy nyc club

nice pair of black shoes(think Kenneth Kole-esque make sure they are polished), Nice pair dark blue jeans, black button up shirt. and a decent looking wrist watch. if this is not nice enough you need to rethink this as a first date/hangout

 

[slackerinabox]

Thanks again giga, I have exactly what you describe and black's my favorite color.

I gotta buy you a thank you drinks sometime, you've been most helpful!
P.S. I wasn't asking you out on a date! 😉

 

[slackerinabox]

8/27/05 - Update

Last night I got the oddest rejection of my life. I was talking to this girl and everything was going smashing. She's really cute and quite funny as well. We've never dated, this was a pre-date screening. We get to chatting about astrology and I mention that I'm a pisces. She cut the conversation short and said "I'm sorry, I don't work well with pisces!" I was like "WTF!?" and she insisted that this isn't going anywhere since I'm a pisces and that she won't even continue the conversation. How f'in' weird?

Last night I also spoke to the girl I made out with on Wednesday - she invited me to join her while house sitting on sunday. A part of me is exciting - "Sammy's probably going to get some booty!" but, as is the norm in my life, there's a bit of a complication... She lives in New Jersey, an hour or more away from me! So, yeah, that's a 2+ hour journey to hang out with her for a few hours.

The girl who I'm insanely attracted to but who's only looking to make friends invited me out to a movie that's not out yet (huh?). I found that sweet and nice and, of course, I accepted... But I'm not going to allow myself to think of that as a sign of her interest. Time and again I've misread things like that as signs and then I'd get really hopeful, until I get the "I told you, I just want to be friends!" Girls are really confusing sometimes with the "i just want to be friends!" thing - I ended up holding hands/hugging/ her lying on me with a girl and, then when I tried to kiss her, she said "I just want to be friends!" Excuse me??? Why are you lying on me then! I've never snuggled with my buddy eric! what the hell's wrong with you!?!? OK, sorry for venting - I hate "I just want to be friends" that originate from non-friendly sources, does that make sense?

 

[isasir]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Thanks again giga, I have exactly what you describe and black's my favorite color.

I gotta buy you a thank you drinks sometime, you've been most helpful!
P.S. I wasn't asking you out on a date! 😉

Heh, as I mentioned in the stickied thread at the top, you both should go to the NYC ATOT meet and hit on the womenz at ESPNZone that day. 😀

 

[bleeb]

I've been thinking about your situation and perhaps dating so many times makes it even more difficult to pick a potential spouse.... pretty soon you get too picky, or you will always find a flaw in someone that you'll never be satisified....

unless of course you're just a superficial, shallow person and is only looking to get some poon.

or perhaps it's better to date a lot so that you can determine what you want, and to more precisely define what you are looking for.

WHAT are you looking for btw?

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: bleeb
I've been thinking about your situation and perhaps dating so many times makes it even more difficult to pick a potential spouse.... pretty soon you get too picky, or you will always find a flaw in someone that you'll never be satisified....

unless of course you're just a superficial, shallow person and is only looking to get some poon.

or perhaps it's better to date a lot so that you can determine what you want, and to more precisely define what you are looking for.

WHAT are you looking for btw?

I am SO not looking for a spouse! And I'm not looking just to get some poon. I'm looking for a girl I can spend time with, snuggle with, and have a nurturing/giving relationship with. That sounds gay, I know... I just want a girl who I like who likes me in return.

I'm NOT enjoying going on so many dates, let me clear that up. It's REALLY frustrating and really expensive (even if I just pay for myself). I'd love to quickly find that one girl I can just relax and watch dvds with on a saturday morning but, to get there, I have to go through these girls. Trust me, I'm not being superficial and I'm not being a "player" - a player would be someone who's dishonest and leads girls on. I get rejected 99.99% of the time so there's no one for me to lead on... There are 2 girls I'm kinda digging and they're both aware that I'm dating people and I agreed to be totally honest if things blossom with someone else. I don't have the time or energy for deception.

And this makes it seem like I have far more dates than I do. This week i just had one. There was one week when I had a max of 3...

About me being too picky.. I'm not picky on a physical level. Listen, I'm fat... I get angry at the girls who say "you're not my type" so I'm not a hypocrite. That girls I've gone on dates with range from average to chubby, and some were hot and some were not.. I am really picky about intelligence but I'd be superficial if that WASN'T my main concern, right? I'm not just looking to get laid, I assure you that. My cynical buddy did the math, I could have gotten laid many times over if I put my "date fund" into an "escort fund." But that's not what I'm looking for, since I've been honest all along I'll continue to be - I don't have a massive sex drive, I'm not as horny as most guys... Probably why these girls trust me so much?

 

[Don Vito Corleone]

Let me make a friendly suggestion, because you sound like a nice guy, and obviously have enough of a rap to get some interest from women.

You sound a little, er, backed up.

Next time you're having success with the touchy-feely/making out vibe, just put on the full-court press and sleep with the girl. She's essentially giving you the green light to do that, so feel free to press the issue a little bit - in my experience, probably 95% of the time it's easily attainable once you progressed that far. Obviously if she tells you or gives you body language telling you no, that means no, but women usually don't make out with guys (particularly in public) unless they want more.

I'm probably guilty of having too much casual sex - I sleep with women on the first date probably 85% of the time - but sometimes (OK, usually) that's just what a guy needs, you know? Women largely want the same things we do - I've never had any compunction about telling them on a first date that I usually have sex on the first date, and it's been my experience that they appreciate a fairly direct approach.

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: DonVito
Let me make a friendly suggestion, because you sound like a nice guy, and obviously have enough of a rap to get some interest from women.

You sound a little, er, backed up.

Next time you're having success with the touchy-feely/making out vibe, just put on the full-court press and sleep with the girl. She's essentially giving you the green light to do that, so feel free to press the issue a little bit - in my experience, probably 95% of the time it's easily attainable once you progressed that far. Obviously if she tells you or gives you body language telling you no, that means no, but women usually don't make out with guys (particularly in public) unless they want more.

I'm probably guilty of having too much casual sex - I sleep with women on the first date probably 85% of the time - but sometimes (OK, usually) that's just what a guy needs, you know? Women largely want the same things we do - I've never had any compunction about telling them on a first date that I usually have sex on the first date, and it's been my experience that they appreciate a fairly direct approach.

I've only had sex on the first date once and felt kinda guilty about it, since I really had no interest in the girl after that. I applaud you though, that's really hard for me to even consider doing. THe girl I made out with on wednesday - I KNOW she would have and, let's be totally honest and not idealistic her - fck yeah, I would have played along... she just lives in N.J. and had to catch a 1 AM train. There was no time to go back to my hood and i wasn't going to go back to NJ with her when I had work in 8 hours. Listen, I progressed from getting a hug on a first date to holding hands like a 5 year old to making out and getting a follow up date. I'm getting there! Baby steps, baby steps..

All of this is quite ironic because in H.S. it only used to take me one date for a girl to be really into me.. Now it's so hard it's frustrating! Luckily I have a fairly good sense of humor.

 

[MrMaster]

Originally posted by: DonVito
Let me make a friendly suggestion, because you sound like a nice guy, and obviously have enough of a rap to get some interest from women.

You sound a little, er, backed up.

Next time you're having success with the touchy-feely/making out vibe, just put on the full-court press and sleep with the girl. She's essentially giving you the green light to do that, so feel free to press the issue a little bit - in my experience, probably 95% of the time it's easily attainable once you progressed that far. Obviously if she tells you or gives you body language telling you no, that means no, but women usually don't make out with guys (particularly in public) unless they want more.

I'm probably guilty of having too much casual sex - I sleep with women on the first date probably 85% of the time - but sometimes (OK, usually) that's just what a guy needs, you know? Women largely want the same things we do - I've never had any compunction about telling them on a first date that I usually have sex on the first date, and it's been my experience that they appreciate a fairly direct approach.

I agree

 

[MetalMat]

Man that sucks dude 🙁 I had a chick all over my jock last night, but she has a kid which kind of sucks 🙁

 

[dug777]

i find this thread intriguing...

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: dug777
i find this thread intriguing...

Thanks.. I hope it educational to some ("how much can one guy fvck up before scoring") and laugh out loud to others ("how pathetic can one guy be?"). Either way, it feels goot to get this all out and it helps when people identify my mistakes and helps me fix myself up and such. It's been very, very helpful!

 

[MetalMat]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: dug777
i find this thread intriguing...

Thanks.. I hope it educational to some ("how much can one guy fvck up before scoring") and laugh out loud to others ("how pathetic can one guy be?"). Either way, it feels goot to get this all out and it helps when people identify my mistakes and helps me fix myself up and such. It's been very, very helpful!

This thread is awesome. It gives all us swingin ATOTers somewhere to gather 🙂

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

I'm too lazy to read the thread... has this guy gotten laid yet?

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
I'm too lazy to read the thread... has this guy gotten laid yet?

not, appearenly, in some time.

maybe he should add clifss to the op?

*cliff*

havent scored yet


??

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: AccruedExpenditure
I'm too lazy to read the thread... has this guy gotten laid yet?

not, appearenly, in some time.

maybe he should add clifss to the op?

*cliff*

havent scored yet


??

hah! it's just not about getting laid.. i'm visiting my sis but probably won't do cliffs anyways cause I'm lazy 😉 but, yeah...

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: MetalMat

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

Originally posted by: dug777
i find this thread intriguing...

Thanks.. I hope it educational to some ("how much can one guy fvck up before scoring") and laugh out loud to others ("how pathetic can one guy be?"). Either way, it feels goot to get this all out and it helps when people identify my mistakes and helps me fix myself up and such. It's been very, very helpful!

This thread is awesome. It gives all us swingin ATOTers somewhere to gather 🙂

Haha, i'm not very swingin', but thanks 😉