for those who are married or intend to get married...

Page 3 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.

CPA

Elite Member
Nov 19, 2001
30,322
4
0
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
I don't buy that for a second. I'm considered a young father, and I don't believe I've hampered my future prospects in any way. Of course I'm much more fiscally responsible than 90% of the popluation, but still. Having kids while you're still in high school is not a good idea, but I don't believe you ruin your life by having kids in your early or middle twenties.
Yeah,how old are your kids? Come back come divorce time when you aren't left with a dollar or an hour to call your own and tell me how it was all so worth it.If I had it to do over I would have waiterd till much later to marry and have kids and might have passed on having kids entirely.
You sound bitter.

I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By your logic, no one should ever get married or ever have children.
 
L

Lola

We are both 21 now and both will be 22 next june when we take the plunge.
We have been together for a solid 4 years and lived togther for 3 years.
Yes, we know we are young, but we know what marriage means to each other and know the commitment we are making.
Honestly, i could not be happier.
Kids are not even in the big picture yet. a dog maybe, but no kids. We are responsible enough to get married, not ready for little ones yet. I hate the fact that people are telling me we should wait...we are ruining our OUR lives.... granted, times they are a changin... but we are not just doing a spur-of-the-moment thing. There is nothing i need to tell anyone nor do i make excuses why we are getting married.
He is my best friend and i do not need him... i want him. we are whole on our own, we do not need each other to be complete. we compliment each other and bring fulfillment to each others lives!

I am so happy! and on top of it, we are getting married here!
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,706
532
126
Originally posted by: Jzero
I will be 25 when I get married this November. What's the hurry? Well, when you find the right one, you find the right one. It wasn't really a rush, but why would I screw around for another 5 years knowing "the one" is right here?
Yep. Exactly my thoughts. There aren't a lot of good women out there, I'm certainly not going to throw one away because I haven't hit my magic 'marriage time' number.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,028
2,033
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
I don't buy that for a second. I'm considered a young father, and I don't believe I've hampered my future prospects in any way. Of course I'm much more fiscally responsible than 90% of the popluation, but still. Having kids while you're still in high school is not a good idea, but I don't believe you ruin your life by having kids in your early or middle twenties.
Yeah,how old are your kids? Come back come divorce time when you aren't left with a dollar or an hour to call your own and tell me how it was all so worth it.If I had it to do over I would have waiterd till much later to marry and have kids and might have passed on having kids entirely.
You sound bitter.

I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By your logic, no one should ever get married or ever have children.
Perhaps we'd be better off if half of us never did?


With medical care as good as it is now there's certainly no reason to be marrying,producing babies at age 19 or 20.I think people should enjoy their youth,establish themselves in their careers,there's no hurry to marry and reproduce.
 

blakeatwork

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2001
4,117
1
81
Originally posted by: Buttzilla
how old were you if you are and
how old do you think you'll be when you want to.

it's just i've been hearing quiet a few people getting married at such a young age, early - mid twenties. i dont plan on getting married till after professional school so probably around 30ish.

there's a couple of guys at my work, only 22-25 with a few kids already. i guess when you're ready you're ready but whats the rush?
I was 25, she was 26... We had been together for about 5 years, and living together for about 3.5-4... Wasn't a hard decision, we just took a relaxed approach to the planning and setups...
 

Descartes

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
13,968
0
0
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
I don't buy that for a second. I'm considered a young father, and I don't believe I've hampered my future prospects in any way. Of course I'm much more fiscally responsible than 90% of the popluation, but still. Having kids while you're still in high school is not a good idea, but I don't believe you ruin your life by having kids in your early or middle twenties.
Yeah,how old are your kids? Come back come divorce time when you aren't left with a dollar or an hour to call your own and tell me how it was all so worth it.If I had it to do over I would have waiterd till much later to marry and have kids and might have passed on having kids entirely.
You sound bitter.

I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By your logic, a significantly smaller number of people should ever get married or ever have children.
I fixed it for you.
 

shimsham

Lifer
May 9, 2002
10,765
0
0
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Married at 22
kid #1 at 23
kid #2 at 24

I can play sports with them... football, etc. without needing to use a walker
We listen to a lot of the same music.
Much more fun taking them to amusement parks, etc. I don't have to stand and watch them ride - I can go on the rides too. (go to an amusement park and count the number of 50 yr olds on rides... not many of them - typically younger families)

And the kids will be gone to college when I'm 42. Early enough for me to seriously consider returning for a phd.
:beer:

 

vi edit

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 28, 1999
62,117
7,275
126
I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By that same logic, I feel I turned out better having come from a family that had parents that worked their assess off to just put food on the table. I recognize the sacrifices they made to support us and instilled a good work ethic in us. You don't need money to have love and instill good values in your children.

Too many kids these days are pampered beyond belief by parents "wishing the best for them". What's coming from it is that we have too many snot nosed little sh!ts running around that wouldn't know what a work ethic was if it kicked them in the crotch.
 

Sealy

Platinum Member
Aug 4, 2002
2,438
1
71
I was engaged at 22, married at 23, divorced at 24.

Remarried at 32, I have a 2 yr. old (had him before we got married) and am 3 months pregnant with our second. On July 31st we'll have been married for 1 yr.

I'm glad I waited until being 30 before having my first, I have way more patience, and I am so done the "club scene" that it does'nt bother me in the slightest that we hardly go anymore. You are ready to accept a more calm and peaceful simple life the older you are. IMHO :)
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,706
532
126
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
Aren't we the hopeless romantic? You do realize that getting married does not mean you have to have kids right away don't you? You can always wait until you're better off finacially.
 

Descartes

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
13,968
0
0
Originally posted by: vi_edit
I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By that same logic, I feel I turned out better having come from a family that had parents that worked their assess off to just put food on the table. I recognize the sacrifices they made to support us and instilled a good work ethic in us. You don't need money to have love and instill good values in your children.

Too many kids these days are pampered beyond belief by parents "wishing the best for them". What's coming from it is that we have too many snot nosed little sh!ts running around that wouldn't know what a work ethic was if it kicked them in the crotch.
So tribulation equals a quality person? There are no doubt a great number of parents who create such bastard children, but there are an even greater number of parents who produce far worse. I don't think the idea of creating a solid foundation for a child should be confused with lack of character instillment. I want financial success for my children for only one reason: I don't want to be a hindrance in their choices for success. Not getting a Bimmer on your 16th birthday is not tye type of hindrance I'm personally talking about.
 

BigPoppa

Golden Member
Oct 9, 1999
1,930
0
0
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
I don't buy that for a second. I'm considered a young father, and I don't believe I've hampered my future prospects in any way. Of course I'm much more fiscally responsible than 90% of the popluation, but still. Having kids while you're still in high school is not a good idea, but I don't believe you ruin your life by having kids in your early or middle twenties.
Yeah,how old are your kids? Come back come divorce time when you aren't left with a dollar or an hour to call your own and tell me how it was all so worth it.If I had it to do over I would have waiterd till much later to marry and have kids and might have passed on having kids entirely.
You sound bitter.

I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By your logic, no one should ever get married or ever have children.
Exactly. Every case is different. I'm sorry that you and your kids had to go through that, but your situation is no indicator of what will happen to every couple who has children early.

My mom was 21 when she had me, 23 brother, and 25 for my sister. My mom has been a part-time nurse (LPN) since before I was born. My dad was an E-6 in the Montana Army National Guard. My mom is still a nurse, but my dad is now making ~60k/yr as a Chief Warrant Officer rank 3, still in the MtANG. My parents simply worked hard for everything we have.
 

shimsham

Lifer
May 9, 2002
10,765
0
0
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
I don't buy that for a second. I'm considered a young father, and I don't believe I've hampered my future prospects in any way. Of course I'm much more fiscally responsible than 90% of the popluation, but still. Having kids while you're still in high school is not a good idea, but I don't believe you ruin your life by having kids in your early or middle twenties.
Yeah,how old are your kids? Come back come divorce time when you aren't left with a dollar or an hour to call your own and tell me how it was all so worth it.If I had it to do over I would have waiterd till much later to marry and have kids and might have passed on having kids entirely.
You sound bitter.

I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By your logic, no one should ever get married or ever have children.
Perhaps we'd be better off if half of us never did?


With medical care as good as it is now there's certainly no reason to be marrying,producing babies at age 19 or 20.I think people should enjoy their youth,establish themselves in their careers,there's no hurry to marry and reproduce.
wow.

i agree that what you have described probably happens more often these days than not, but to each his own. with all the decisions we make in life, some of them are bound to be poor. but it works out for a lot of people also.

 

SilentZero

Diamond Member
Apr 8, 2003
5,158
0
76
I got married at 20, wife was 21. We've been married for 6+ years, and its been great. Alot of people say don't get married young, but I can honestly say im happy I did. I didn't really miss out on anything. My wife and I are expecting our first child this year, and things couldn't be better. She grad from college already, and im due to graduate and start my masters this year. I really think it depends on you and your future wifes mind set going into it.

Children are a different story altogether. My wife and I have waited to have kids mainly because we wanted to travel and study as much as we could before having children, as well as being able to provide a financially stable environment for our family. My only suggestion is to make sure your ready for the responcibility that comes with marriage and children, and of course make sure that you have a strong foundation with your future wife.
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,145
9
81
Originally posted by: vi_edit
I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By that same logic, I feel I turned out better having come from a family that had parents that worked their assess off to just put food on the table. I recognize the sacrifices they made to support us and instilled a good work ethic in us. You don't need money to have love and instill good values in your children.

Too many kids these days are pampered beyond belief by parents "wishing the best for them". What's coming from it is that we have too many snot nosed little sh!ts running around that wouldn't know what a work ethic was if it kicked them in the crotch.
I fully agree with this. While i did come from a wealthy family i was not spoiled.

If i wanted anything i had to work for it. Want an new game for my intelivision? great gotta mow the yard 2 times (we had a 2.5 acre yard). Anything i wanted that was not for x-mas or b-day i had to earn. While i have money i do NOT want to spoil my daughter. My sister spoils her 2 kids pretty bad. They have every new toy out. They are also little snots. If you don't have as much as they do then you aren't as good as them.

Me and my wife have a nice small house (looking to get a bigger one. we want another kid) and 2 nice used cars. To my niece this means we are poor. We don't have a huge house with new cars or a swimming pool.

While it is true we don't have a new huge house or nice new cars i do have a nice bank account and NO DEPT. to bad the little snot wouldn't understand that.

My other sisters were either drug addicts or just stupid. 3 out of the 4 of them are in dept up to there eyes and NO way to ever get out.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,028
2,033
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: BigPoppa
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
I don't buy that for a second. I'm considered a young father, and I don't believe I've hampered my future prospects in any way. Of course I'm much more fiscally responsible than 90% of the popluation, but still. Having kids while you're still in high school is not a good idea, but I don't believe you ruin your life by having kids in your early or middle twenties.
Yeah,how old are your kids? Come back come divorce time when you aren't left with a dollar or an hour to call your own and tell me how it was all so worth it.If I had it to do over I would have waiterd till much later to marry and have kids and might have passed on having kids entirely.
You sound bitter.

I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By your logic, no one should ever get married or ever have children.
Exactly. Every case is different. I'm sorry that you and your kids had to go through that, but your situation is no indicator of what will happen to every couple who has children early.


.
My mom was 21 when she had me, 23 brother, and 25 for my sister. My mom has been a part-time nurse (LPN) since before I was born. My dad was an E-6 in the Montana Army National Guard. My mom is still a nurse, but my dad is now making ~60k/yr as a Chief Warrant Officer rank 3, still in the MtANG. My parents simply worked hard for everything we have.
We live in very different times now.My best advice is this,don't say "yes" to having a baby or two unless you can visalise yourself raising that child alone,totally responsible for every aspect of care including fiscal support
 

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,706
532
126
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
I don't buy that for a second. I'm considered a young father, and I don't believe I've hampered my future prospects in any way. Of course I'm much more fiscally responsible than 90% of the popluation, but still. Having kids while you're still in high school is not a good idea, but I don't believe you ruin your life by having kids in your early or middle twenties.
Yeah,how old are your kids? Come back come divorce time when you aren't left with a dollar or an hour to call your own and tell me how it was all so worth it.If I had it to do over I would have waiterd till much later to marry and have kids and might have passed on having kids entirely.
You sound bitter.

I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By your logic, no one should ever get married or ever have children.
Perhaps we'd be better off if half of us never did?


With medical care as good as it is now there's certainly no reason to be marrying,producing babies at age 19 or 20.I think people should enjoy their youth,establish themselves in their careers,there's no hurry to marry and reproduce.
Maybe you should mail your advice back in time to your younger self. Seems like she could use it more then we can. Just because your marriage wasn't great, doesn't mean mine isn't going to be.
 

BigPoppa

Golden Member
Oct 9, 1999
1,930
0
0
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: BigPoppa
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
I don't buy that for a second. I'm considered a young father, and I don't believe I've hampered my future prospects in any way. Of course I'm much more fiscally responsible than 90% of the popluation, but still. Having kids while you're still in high school is not a good idea, but I don't believe you ruin your life by having kids in your early or middle twenties.
Yeah,how old are your kids? Come back come divorce time when you aren't left with a dollar or an hour to call your own and tell me how it was all so worth it.If I had it to do over I would have waiterd till much later to marry and have kids and might have passed on having kids entirely.
You sound bitter.

I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By your logic, no one should ever get married or ever have children.
Exactly. Every case is different. I'm sorry that you and your kids had to go through that, but your situation is no indicator of what will happen to every couple who has children early.


.
My mom was 21 when she had me, 23 brother, and 25 for my sister. My mom has been a part-time nurse (LPN) since before I was born. My dad was an E-6 in the Montana Army National Guard. My mom is still a nurse, but my dad is now making ~60k/yr as a Chief Warrant Officer rank 3, still in the MtANG. My parents simply worked hard for everything we have.
We live in very different times now.My best advice is this,don't say "yes" to having a baby or two unless you can visalise yourself raising that child alone,totally responsible for every aspect of care including fiscal support
Oh, as for myself I won't be getting married anytime before i'm 25 and have completed pharmacy school. I saw how hard my parents had to work when I was little. I want to be better off than my parents were, and getting my Pharm.D will be a huge step in that direction. I was just saying you have to go on a case by case basis rather than just making the blanket statement that no one should persue marriage and kids at an early age.
 

Sealy

Platinum Member
Aug 4, 2002
2,438
1
71
There really is no rule when it comes to what age people should do things. However I do believe that every person needs to go through certain stages in life in order to be ready for marriage/children.

Eg. Everyone needs to be independant of their parents, a bf/gf for a part of their life to be able to develop their own person.
Also, everyone needs to go through a "party" stage in their life. A time to do goofy things that you can laugh at down the road.

I truly feel that if you don't go through these things, and jump right into responsibility, you'll end up going through them down the road. Or at the very least resent your situation because you did'nt have a 'selfish' time.

Obviously everyone is different and situations and time frames are going to be different for each person. Some way or another all the stages must be gone through. :) Again IMHO!
 

Hoober

Diamond Member
Feb 9, 2001
4,361
13
81
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
I don't buy that for a second. I'm considered a young father, and I don't believe I've hampered my future prospects in any way. Of course I'm much more fiscally responsible than 90% of the popluation, but still. Having kids while you're still in high school is not a good idea, but I don't believe you ruin your life by having kids in your early or middle twenties.
Yeah,how old are your kids? Come back come divorce time when you aren't left with a dollar or an hour to call your own and tell me how it was all so worth it.If I had it to do over I would have waiterd till much later to marry and have kids and might have passed on having kids entirely.
I think there's a certain expectation when you decide to get married and have children that your money and your time are no longer yours. How does that have anything to do with divorce or possible divorce? I'm very happy spending time with my wife and my son. I wouldn't trade it for all the tea in China. I look forward to going home from work every evening to spend time with my family and I hate dropping my son off at daycare in the morning because that's less time I get to spend with him. It's too bad you're so bitter about your life, it's a sad thing to see.
 

Pliablemoose

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
25,195
0
56
Everyone needs to be independant of their parents, a bf/gf for a part of their life to be able to develop their own person.
Also, everyone needs to go through a "party" stage in their life. A time to do goofy things that you can laugh at down the road.
I've found this to be very true, especially the whole "living on your own thing" IMHO, one needs to be single & living on their won for @ least a year before they can be tolerated in a relationship.

I also feel pretty strongly that if you end a serious relationship, you need ~1 year to get your head back together.
 

gopunk

Lifer
Jul 7, 2001
29,239
2
0
well for those arguing with geekbabe... what is the advantage of having kids at such a young age? if you really love the person you want to marry, what's waiting a few years going to harm?
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,028
2,033
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: PingSpike
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Hoober
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: CPA
It amazes me when people think getting married in the mid-20's is surprising.

My mom was married when she was 18. It used to be that way all the time, even younger.

Now we consider a 22 year old a teenager and believe you shouldn't get married until your 30. Why?
Because you ruin your life and your future prospects in all areas of life by marrying and having kids early,you also hamper the prospects of your children as the younger you have kids the less fiscally stable you are likely to be.
I don't buy that for a second. I'm considered a young father, and I don't believe I've hampered my future prospects in any way. Of course I'm much more fiscally responsible than 90% of the popluation, but still. Having kids while you're still in high school is not a good idea, but I don't believe you ruin your life by having kids in your early or middle twenties.
Yeah,how old are your kids? Come back come divorce time when you aren't left with a dollar or an hour to call your own and tell me how it was all so worth it.If I had it to do over I would have waiterd till much later to marry and have kids and might have passed on having kids entirely.
You sound bitter.

I'm speaking some hard truth here.Lots of marriages end in divorce and many times one parent gets stuck pulling the good ship parenthood and all the sacrificres that entails...alone. Sorry but if I'd had any idea at age 21 that this was how things would have turned out I'd have waited.My kids turned out ok but life sure could have been better for them and for me.
By your logic, no one should ever get married or ever have children.
Perhaps we'd be better off if half of us never did?


With medical care as good as it is now there's certainly no reason to be marrying,producing babies at age 19 or 20.I think people should enjoy their youth,establish themselves in their careers,there's no hurry to marry and reproduce.
Maybe you should mail your advice back in time to your younger self. Seems like she could use it more then we can. Just because your marriage wasn't great, doesn't mean mine isn't going to be.
My advice is sensible and sound.When I was young a high school diploma was all it took to get a job that paid well enough to support a family.I work along side 26 yr olds carrying 100k in student loans earning 35k a year in starter jobs still relying on mom and dad for $$.We also live in a time when half of all marriages end in divorce,many of those involving kids.Never say never my friend,the odds are not in your favor.

50/60 percent of marriages end in divorce.Come back in smugness when your youngest is grown and gone and your marriage is still intact.
 

ASK THE COMMUNITY