"fake" things in movies that piss you off.

[Aikouka]

Rear-view mirrors aren't in cars because the cars are usually just sitting on slabs around a green screen. If they went to an internal shot, they may not be able to avoid showing the mirror, which would end up causing problems.

 

[vi edit]

Sex scenes last 30 seconds and the woman is satisfied.

 

[RedRooster]

I agree with the phone thing. I always hate how when they answer, within a second they instantly know not only who it is but what they're calling about.
ring ring..."Hello?" *less than 1 second* "What?! What hospital is she at?!"

 

[JimKiler]

Lack of peripheral vision.

I dislike it when Hollywood shows someone sneaking up behind another person when in fact the main character is in an open room and would see someone coming a mile away, but because the villan is off camera, the main character has no peripheral vision. Just trying to sneak out of my daughter's room when she is falling asleep and not making a sound makes me realize how hard it would be when the hero expects it to happen.

 

[clamum]

The single most annoying thing to me is the "clicking" noise made when someone holds up a gun. Scenes where someone is suddenly surrounded by multiple people pulling guns on them, and you hear a chorus of clicking sounds as they all point their guns at once...those scenes make me want to punch my TV.

Yes, guns make clicking sounds, but only when you engage the slide (a two hand process), or draw the hammer back. But no one is ever doing that when those sound effects are being used.

I've even seen movies where the shooter draws his gun, the clicking sound is made, then the shooter slowly lowers his gun during the scene only to suddenly point it at the same person again and have the clicking sound. GRRRRRR

I get that it's for effect, but damn, it drives me nuts.

YES. Probably the most annoying for me too. Anytime someone draws a gun and brings it up into view, "CLICK". Wtf is that shit? I guess it's for more effect since now when audiences hear "CLICK" they know a gun is out, but fuck is that stupid.

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

Why are they always so cool and hang up without saying bye on the phone?

Yeah, its a weird social convention, but I have no doubt if I just started hanging up on my friends and family without saying "bye" they'd think I was being a dick or pissed at them or some such.

 

[ShawnD1]

Labor and childbirth takes a total of 5 minutes.

This one really made my mom's blood boil. A woman is stuck in an elevator and someone is forced to deliver a baby. That shit takes like 20 hours. Were they stuck in that elevator all damn day?

 

[jagec]

lol this one.

you always have some guy/gal living in a very nice and trendy apartment or loft. the place is huge! a nice living room (and furniture) and 2-3 bedrooms.

Then they talk about how poor they are. etc.

In their defense, do you know how hard it is to fit an entire camera crew and their equipment in a typical New York apartment?

 

[JamesV]

When there is a gunfight, and the hero or heroes fully jump out of cover, exposing themselves clearly before they start firing. This bugs me to no end; especially when the opponents are firing thousands of rounds that can't seem to hit a guy that is completely in the open.

See the latest Resident Evil for blatant overuse of this mechanic.

 

[ShawnD1]

In their defense, do you know how hard it is to fit an entire camera crew and their equipment in a typical New York apartment?

They don't use a real room. They use a fake room with 1 of the walls missing. How did you think they film scenes in the bathroom or inside a bedroom? They could use a real NYC apartment size, but people not living in that city would wonder why they are living in a janitor's closet.

 

[AstroManLuca]

Yeah, its a weird social convention, but I have no doubt if I just started hanging up on my friends and family without saying "bye" they'd think I was being a dick or pissed at them or some such.

Yeah I know what you mean. I felt a bit miffed the other day when I was speaking with a coworker and she hung up without saying "bye." And that's with someone in the same building as me!

This one really made my mom's blood boil. A woman is stuck in an elevator and someone is forced to deliver a baby. That shit takes like 20 hours. Were they stuck in that elevator all damn day?

It can happen though. It's not typical, but it can. Typical labor lasts for many hours, and then it takes another ~1 hour (on average) of pushing. But some women go through labor very quickly and it can sneak up on them, and sometimes pushing only takes a few minutes. It happens more often in movies than it ought to in real life, but it's not an impossibility.

 

[Ricochet]

Wilhelm scream. Please get rid of it.

 

[crashtestdummy]

Oh, here's another one: Heroes in battle never wear helmets, yet never get killed by blows to the head. They do this so that the audience knows where to look, but it makes no "realistic" sense.

 

[Juddog]

Oh, here's another one: Heroes in battle never wear helmets, yet never get killed by blows to the head. They do this so that the audience knows where to look, but it makes no "realistic" sense.

Not a movie, but they did this with a lot of Game of Thrones characters, where in the books they wore helmets during various scenes, but the shows have them in battle, fully armored except for the head. Like you said, it's so that you know who's doing what, but it's definitely unrealistic.

 

[AstroManLuca]

Wilhelm scream. Please get rid of it.

I've been hearing it in advertisements now. It was funny when you'd occasionally hear it in a movie every few years, but now it's so overused. I hear it in nearly every movie I watch now. Most action movies and comedies have it.

 

[Juddog]

Sex scenes last 30 seconds and the woman is satisfied.

She's just faking it.

 

[amdhunter]

How men meet women and are banging them within minutes.
Everyone knows it takes months or even years of stalking to get into a woman's pants.

 

[Puppies04]

All the people moaning about hacking or computer usage not being realistic can you stop for a minute and consider how much eye bleach you would need after seeing some 20 year old overweight spotty nerd typing endless lines of code then stopping to navigate to redtube on his laptop so he can masturbate while eating cheetos then finishing in a wank sock before getting back to the hacking.

On a related note, does anyone have a link to that stupid CSI (i think) sketch where 2 people try to counter being hacked by using a keyboard at the same time.

 

[SphinxnihpS]

This doesn't bug me, but it's funny.

 

[Sixguns]

How any time a semi passes a car/person they are always using the airhorn. Its the same soundbit for every movie/show and its annoying.

 

[Jeff7]

Wilhelm scream. Please get rid of it.

This.
It's everywhere. Something explodes, someone falls, someone sneezes....
I'm sure they intentionally try to work it in somewhere, somehow.



There's also a glass-break sound somewhere too that I've heard several times, like some kind of ceramic urn shattering. I first had it firmly imprinted into my mind during one of the Red Letter Media movie reviews, and I've since heard it in several movies and TV shows. It's the Wilhelm Scream of glass breaking.

Oh, here's another one: Heroes in battle never wear helmets, yet never get killed by blows to the head. They do this so that the audience knows where to look, but it makes no "realistic" sense.

Related to helmets: Spacesuit helmets. They're made so you can see the actor's face. Lots of internal lighting, no tinting, lots of room to move around in (or to allow aliens the ability maneuver themselves into available orifices), and always made of glass from the 1600s that would shatter under the stress of a space slug crawling across it at a leisurely pace.

Lack of peripheral vision.

I dislike it when Hollywood shows someone sneaking up behind another person when in fact the main character is in an open room and would see someone coming a mile away, but because the villan is off camera, the main character has no peripheral vision. Just trying to sneak out of my daughter's room when she is falling asleep and not making a sound makes me realize how hard it would be when the hero expects it to happen.

MST3K had fun with that.
"Let's go this way, even though I see them running that way!"

"I refuse to look to the right. It would be caving in to look that way, so I won't."


Related: Maybe it's just me, with respect to sensing other people around you: The ability to sense when someone's walking behind you by feeling the vibrations made in the floor, or hearing the slight change in any ambient noise that's caused by their occlusion or absorption of sound.

When there is a gunfight, and the hero or heroes fully jump out of cover, exposing themselves clearly before they start firing. This bugs me to no end; especially when the opponents are firing thousands of rounds that can't seem to hit a guy that is completely in the open.

See the latest Resident Evil for blatant overuse of this mechanic.

Addon: Anything more resilient than aluminum foil is capable of stopping any bullet, unless it's convenient to the plot to have it fly right through.
Except for windows. You can always shoot through them. Well, usually.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

What about the ridiculously intricate graphics and animations on computer systems when a "hacker" is running shit from a command line?

Even worse, sparks flying from keyboards or monitors when a computer crashes.

 

[Ausm]

Tits.

 

[SunnyD]

Sex scenes last more than 5 seconds.

ftfy, because men.

Also, the ever popular stealth knockout blow to the back of the head/pistolwhip/etc. In real life, that almost never works unless you split a skull and the victim ends up laying in a pool of their own blood.

 

[SphinxnihpS]

women. every women in the movie is hot. even the background women. teh women the star held teh door for? hot. The women he purchased soup from? hot.

and the hero always has the new gun that never needs reloading.

I miss the 50s-70s movies too, when most actors were just regular looking folks, even action heroes.