(EDIT: MY FINAL THOUGHTS...) Is it wrong for a 21 year old to date a 16 year old? Even if....

[BunLengthHotDog]

Anyone over 21 dating a 16 year old needs to look at themselves before asking such questions....what is it about a 16 y/o that attracts you to them. At that age you should be WAY past them in regards to maturity....an adult that gets jollies from dating a child has a much more serious problem than a "morality issue" ESPECIALLY if they have tried and failed to date women closer to their age and enjoy the lack of maturity a typical teenager would exhibit

The "later in life" argument does not apply, being 35 when your 40 is COMPLETELY different, there is no rationilizing dating / being sexually involved with a child.

 

[lowtech1]

ATOT is the wrong place to ask this kind of question, because most people here hasn?t made it past puberty or mature enough to answers.

It is a hard thing to say, and all depend on the person/couple. If you 2 are mature enough to have an intelligent conversation, then things should be okay.

I personally hasn?t date anyone more than 2 years younger than me, but has dated a woman that was 9 years older than me when I was 21 (she was my hot blond TA

 

[Renob]

Dude quite while your ahead, Oh nevermind your not ahead . Everytime you open your mouth you put your foot in it




As I said before your a loser, and one who is trying to defend his sick ways.

 

[Jumpem]

Originally posted by: BunLengthHotDog
Anyone over 21 dating a 16 year old needs to look at themselves before asking such questions....what is it about a 16 y/o that attracts you to them. At that age you should be WAY past them in regards to maturity....an adult that gets jollies from dating a child has a much more serious problem than a "morality issue" ESPECIALLY if they have tried and failed to date women closer to their age and enjoy the lack of maturity a typical teenager would exhibit

To make a long story short my parents kept completely sheltered for most of my time growing up. I'll admit that I never really developed as much as I should have socially. I never even drank until well after I had turned 21. Until very recently I wouldn't even have been comfortable having a conversation with a girl. What attracts me to her....almost everything. She's sweet, and always nice and caring. I talk to her about everything all the time. Her cute laugh and her smile. The way she can be light hearted and silly. I'm also physically attracted to her, but obviously I won't do anything regarding that.

 

[SlowSS]

You KNOW it's wrong when you have to ask about it.:frown:

 

[Jumpem]

Originally posted by: Renob
Dude quite while your ahead, Oh nevermind your not ahead . Everytime you open your mouth you put your foot in it


As for her brother, I don't really like him

So that makes it OK to bang a child.

As I said before your a loser, and one who is trying to defend his sick ways.

I'm NOT having sex with her. I don't plan to for quite a long while.

 

[Raiden256]

Originally posted by: BennyD
"date" = okay (just)

"assbang" = just plain wrong

Dude... I just spit out my coke.

ROFL!

 

[BunLengthHotDog]

To make a long story short my parents kept completely sheltered for most of my time growing up. I'll admit that I never really developed as much as I should have socially. I never even drank until well after I had turned 21. Until very recently I wouldn't even have been comfortable having a conversation with a girl. What attracts me to her....almost everything. She's sweet, and always nice and caring. I talk to her about everything all the time. Her cute laugh and her smile. The way she can be light hearted and silly. I'm also physically attracted to her, but obviously I won't do anything regarding that.

Being underdeveloped maturity wise will only lead to serious problems, get your shite straight and then try the dating pool again...The fact that you are attracted to someone 16 years old screams to me that you have not exceeded that level of developement, and need to get that checked out before trying to carry on in a succesful relationship. Its plainly obvious was attracts a male to a female, 16 year olds are obviously going to have some physical attributes that are more "attractive" than their 21 y/0 counterparts..but I was referring more to a mental attraction than physical.

 

[Renob]

I'm NOT having sex with her. I don't plan to for quite a long while.

I read your post wrong and edited my last post, but your still a loser.

 

[isekii]

Originally posted by: BunLengthHotDog

To make a long story short my parents kept completely sheltered for most of my time growing up. I'll admit that I never really developed as much as I should have socially. I never even drank until well after I had turned 21. Until very recently I wouldn't even have been comfortable having a conversation with a girl. What attracts me to her....almost everything. She's sweet, and always nice and caring. I talk to her about everything all the time. Her cute laugh and her smile. The way she can be light hearted and silly. I'm also physically attracted to her, but obviously I won't do anything regarding that.

Being underdeveloped maturity wise will only lead to serious problems, get your shite straight and then try the dating pool again...The fact that you are attracted to someone 16 years old screams to me that you have not exceeded that level of developement, and need to get that checked out before trying to carry on in a succesful relationship. Its plainly obvious was attracts a male to a female, 16 year olds are obviously going to have some physical attributes that are more "attractive" than their 21 y/0 counterparts..but I was referring more to a mental attraction than physical.

I don't know about you but 21y/o's have pretty nice jammies~ much more than lets say a 16 year old~

pretty much the 16y/o's got going for them is their age~.. maybe their innocent look~ but that's about it i think.

 

[Jumpem]

Originally posted by: BunLengthHotDog

To make a long story short my parents kept completely sheltered for most of my time growing up. I'll admit that I never really developed as much as I should have socially. I never even drank until well after I had turned 21. Until very recently I wouldn't even have been comfortable having a conversation with a girl. What attracts me to her....almost everything. She's sweet, and always nice and caring. I talk to her about everything all the time. Her cute laugh and her smile. The way she can be light hearted and silly. I'm also physically attracted to her, but obviously I won't do anything regarding that.

Being underdeveloped maturity wise will only lead to serious problems, get your shite straight and then try the dating pool again...The fact that you are attracted to someone 16 years old screams to me that you have not exceeded that level of developement, and need to get that checked out before trying to carry on in a succesful relationship.

I've got my stuff straight quite a bit over the past year. I am nowhere near as shy and introverted as I used to be. I'm not afraid to have conversations with people I don't really know anymore. I was homeschooled since sixth grade, so I was always around adults and became quite mature early. I was always better at dealing with adults than people my age. I've dated girls closer to my age but things didn't work out. I just started talking to her one day and thought she was great, so after asking her mom we decided to go out.

 

[isekii]

Originally posted by: Renob
I'm NOT having sex with her. I don't plan to for quite a long while.

I read your post wrong and edited my last post, but your still a loser.

lol renob your post makes me laugh so much~ ^_^

 

[erikiksaz]

I'm nearly 18 (2 days away!) and i'm still cautious when it comes to 16 year olds! WTF are you doing? If i have trouble finding intellectually stimulating girls at age 18, don't you think it'll be a tad difficult for you? I mean, things are always fun and all in the beginning, but that's so superficial man. Once the superficiality peels away, what's going to be under there? 16 year old's haven't experienced much, i can vouch for that. And the fact that she's in high school means that she can't help but meet new people--people that will further her maturity. I say just move on, she's a kid and you're an adult

 

[BunLengthHotDog]

I've got my stuff straight quite a bit over the past year. I am nowhere near as shy and introverted as I used to be. I'm not afraid to have conversations with people I don't really know anymore. I was homeschooled since sixth grade, so I was always around adults and became quite mature early. I was always better at dealing with adults than people my age. I've dated girls closer to my age but things didn't work out. I just started talking to her one day and thought she was great, so after asking her mom we decided to go out.

If you have tried and failed to date someone closer to your age, and get along much better with a 16 year old, you have not matured past that stage....You are 21 but have the mind of a 16 or 17yo boy (not being judmental or anything, its just how I see this).

 

[bolomite]

Originally posted by: SoloKid
Dang, in college and cannot find someone around your age? You must be an engineering major or cs.

back to studying.

LOL

 

[Babbles]

I think once somebody hits the age of 20 or 21 or thereabouts, nothing younger than 20, then age really doesn't matter.
That is just my personal opinion though. Even somebody that is 18 or 19 is still proabably too young; they probably do not know what they want in life.

 

[PhaZe]

She's too damn young. What kinds of stuff could you two possible have in common besides religion. Do you know what would classified as if you were to go to jail for statutory rape?(for any one reason of the hundreds possible, hypothetically speaking of course ) Probably a child molestor..
Dating a minor is immoral to me (5 year diff come on!)and as a Christian I don't see how you don't think it is. Sorry it's just that I'm an older brother and I still look at my sis as a child (almost 16). It's hard. You're an adult, date adults please.
Analyze the relationship if you were to have one. She's 16, and SOME HOW you guys are still together and you guys marry when she's 18.
you're willing to wait almost 2 years before any action?
unreal

my 2 cents.

 

[spidey07]

21/2 = 10.5.

Add seven = 17.5.

NOPE!!! Way too young you sicko. I mean really. WAY To young. 16. For christs sakes, you wanna date a high school chick?

 

[zippy]

Originally posted by: erikiksaz
I'm nearly 18 (2 days away!) and i'm still cautious when it comes to 16 year olds!

Same here. I'm wouldn't date a girl 2 years younger than me right now. I've been through so much more and feel considerably more mature than I was 2 years ago. Still, the girls my age aren't mature enough for me...it's frustrating to say the least. I can't wait for college next year - hopefully the ladies will be more mature and less shallow. Cept for my ex-gf (we only went out for a few weeks), who turned out to be 180degrees from what I thought she was, I haven't liked any girl as more than a friend in about 1 year. :Q

 

[zCypher]

People under 20-21 years old aren't quite the same psychologically. I can't imagine wanting to date someone much younger than me. I would want to date someone that is close to the same age, or in the same "stage" of their life so as to have things in common to relate to. I wouldn't want to date an elementary student while in high school, or a high school student while in college, or .. etc. Or, be living on my own working full time and dating someone who lives with their parents has no job and goes to school... it would just be odd. It's a completely different lifestyle and you see things much diffferently at different stages of your life.

It's your call, but I wouldn't go for it.

 

[narzy]

its wrong you sick fsck!

friggin child molester...

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: Jumpem
To make a long story short my parents kept completely sheltered for most of my time growing up. I'll admit that I never really developed as much as I should have socially. I never even drank until well after I had turned 21. Until very recently I wouldn't even have been comfortable having a conversation with a girl. What attracts me to her....almost everything. She's sweet, and always nice and caring. I talk to her about everything all the time. Her cute laugh and her smile. The way she can be light hearted and silly. I'm also physically attracted to her, but obviously I won't do anything regarding that.

Allow me to put it in simple terms:

YOU ARE AN ADULT

SHE IS A CHILD

It doesn't get any more complex than that.

Now go find yourself someone your own age.

: ( Hopper

 

[spidey07]

half your age plus seven years. Works for almost all situations.

18/2 = 9 + 7. 16 is OK.
26/2 = 13+7. 20 is OK.
32/2 = 16+7. 23 is OK.
50/2 = 25 + 7. 32 is OK.

Seems to work out fine.

 

[zippy]

Originally posted by: spidey07
half your age plus seven years. Works for almost all situations.

18/2 = 9 + 7. 16 is OK.
26/2 = 13+7. 20 is OK.
32/2 = 16+7. 23 is OK.
50/2 = 25 + 7. 32 is OK.

Seems to work out fine.

I just came up with one that seems to be even better IMO.

3/4 your age + 3

(18*3/4)+3 = 16.5
(26*3/4)+3 = 22.5
(32*3/4)+3 = 27
(50*3/4)+3 = 40.5

Rounding down is acceptable.

 

[Jumpem]

Thanks everyone for your advice and opinions! I really appreciate it even if we don't necessarily see eye to eye. I've thought about it all and will continue to do so.