Easiest way to get a girlfriend?

olds · Apr 19, 2011

SKORPI0 · Apr 19, 2011

D:

JulesMaximus · Apr 19, 2011

Just lie, nobody will believe you have a girlfriend...not one that isn't made out of plastic anyway.

JulesMaximus · Apr 19, 2011

davmat787 said:
Wait, the only reason you want a GF is to supposedly enhance your employment opportunities? I think you are "confused" on many levels....

Is there any other reason to have one?

JulesMaximus · Apr 19, 2011

oldsmoboat said:

She's too pudgy...and her elbows look kind of pointy.

zerocool84 · Apr 19, 2011

oldsmoboat said:

It's missing the holes in the sheets for the money spots.

Theb · Apr 19, 2011

Is it possible to OD on smug? I might need to pace myself in this thread.

Locut0s · Apr 19, 2011

If the OP is being completely serious and isn't trolling us then I think his post is a sign of a serious personality disorder. I'm not trying to diss the OP here I'm being serious. Viewing people as objects to further one's career sounds like classic psychopathy.

olds · Apr 19, 2011

Locut0s said:
If the OP is being completely serious and isn't trolling us then I think his post is a sign of a serious personality disorder. I'm not trying to diss the OP here I'm being serious. Viewing people as objects to further one's career sounds like classic psychopathy.

I have to bow down to Locut0s' expertise. If anyone know mental disorders, it's him. And neckbeard.

Imp · Apr 19, 2011

Locut0s said:
If the OP is being completely serious and isn't trolling us then I think his post is a sign of a serious personality disorder. I'm not trying to diss the OP here I'm being serious. Viewing people as objects to further one's career sounds like classic psychopathy.

From the stuff he posts in P&N (or was any political posts), he's either trolling full-time or just "that way".

qliveur · Apr 19, 2011

A C-note on a string and a brick.

Imdmn04 · Apr 20, 2011

I hire engineers as an engineering manager and I can tell you right now that I don't give a shit whether you have a girlfriend, wife, is gay, or a tranny as long as you get your shit done.

Newsflash, we are not looking for "team leaders and sociable team players", I want someone who can put their head down and do engineering work. I need you not to be socially awkward if you ever meet with customers, but that is only a plus, not a requirement. In fact, I can't have too many "team leader" types, I don't want ego-maniacs running around arguing with each other all day.

A good team consists of the following:

a few sr guys with one lead that has soft skills
a few mid-level engineers
a few jr engineers -> you are looking at a job here, I probably won't let you talk to the executives or the clients for a few years. So instead of trying to be smooth, you should focus on technical skills first. When you prove to me that you won't embarrass me in front of the clients or execs, then I will put you in a position where you actually get to use your "sociable" skills. Until then, you are barking up the wrong tree with your approach.

KaOTiK · Apr 20, 2011

oldsmoboat said:

the tissues are a nice touch

Muse · Apr 20, 2011

Hacp said:
I want one that doesn't require much attention, doesn't require lots of money to maintain, and is reasonably attractive. Knowing what you want is half the battle or so I've heard. Now, the other half is actually acquiring one. I am clueless on how to begin. Atot, help me.

OK, then you want one that isn't spoiled and is pretty self sufficient. It was suggested to me that the way to proceed is activities at which you meet girls. Sharing an interest is a good starting place.

Yeah I agree that the OP sounds pretty absurd. You don't look for a GF to further your career. Check yourself out.

fatpat268 said:
Employers don't give a shit if you have a girlfriend or not. What would make you think that?

I've had quite a few jobs and whether or not I had a GF never came up. Never!

Born2bwire · Apr 20, 2011

God, this is such a great thread. As for the OP, you should just go into a more secure line of work. Get into a union job, that's the way to go.

DaWhim · Apr 20, 2011

you only need an imaginary gf in this case.

bommy261 · Apr 20, 2011

thanks OP for the new sig. your reasons for having a girlfriend are pretty messed up. imo, just lie to the employer if they ask. with your current views of women, i doubt you'd keep a girl for long.

SSSnail · Apr 20, 2011

www.myredbook.com

They offer girl friends experience and services. Thank me later.

Gibson486 · Apr 20, 2011

Drako said:
Get a job - that's how you get a girlfriend.

Get a girlfriend, that is how you get a job....it's this horrible circle!

Gibson486 · Apr 20, 2011

Imdmn04 said:
I hire engineers as an engineering manager and I can tell you right now that I don't give a shit whether you have a girlfriend, wife, is gay, or a tranny as long as you get your shit done.

Newsflash, we are not looking for "team leaders and sociable team players", I want someone who can put their head down and do engineering work. I need you not to be socially awkward if you ever meet with customers, but that is only a plus, not a requirement. In fact, I can't have too many "team leader" types, I don't want ego-maniacs running around arguing with each other all day.

A good team consists of the following:

a few sr guys with one lead that has soft skills
a few mid-level engineers
a few jr engineers -> you are looking at a job here, I probably won't let you talk to the executives or the clients for a few years. So instead of trying to be smooth, you should focus on technical skills first. When you prove to me that you won't embarrass me in front of the clients or execs, then I will put you in a position where you actually get to use your "sociable" skills. Until then, you are barking up the wrong tree with your approach.

So, in other words, you do not work for a consulting firm?

IndyColtsFan · Apr 20, 2011

Bateluer said:
Now, in all fairness, effectively running a large guild in an MMO does require some organizational ability.

You have it on your resume, don't you?

zinfamous · Apr 20, 2011

Hacp said:
So I am going to be looking for work after I graduate college next year and I need every edge I can get. Someone recently said that interviewers like to hear that their potential employees have girlfriends, especially when you're talking about engineering (because most engineering guys don't have girlfriends). Its a way to differentiate myself.

Now I am set on obtaining a girlfriend but I need tips on how to proceed. I want one that doesn't require much attention, doesn't require lots of money to maintain, and is reasonably attractive. Knowing what you want is half the battle or so I've heard. Now, the other half is actually acquiring one. I am clueless on how to begin. Atot, help me.

Are you a brainless idiot douche in RL like you are on the forums?

that could hurt your chances.

SP33Demon · Apr 20, 2011

Girlfriends are the new resume builder!

Capt Caveman · Apr 20, 2011

If the OP had ever had a GF, he could fake it but that doesn't sound like the case.

Ask one of your guy friends if it would be alright if you told any interviewers that he is your SO.

dawp · Apr 20, 2011

If you have to ask how to get a girlfriend....

http://blog.rentafriend.com/rent-a-girlfriend/

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