Don't want my baby's photos to be on facebook - am I being unfair?

[maziwanka]

It's your baby. You can do what you want to do.

yep. why the hell do other ppl care about this?

 

[slackerinabox]

Break out the internet burqa. And the physical burqa too. I think it's kind of dickish.

Taking pictures is normal. Nowadays, posting pictures on the internet is normal. What if your brother said he didn't want you to take pictures of his kid, let alone post them on the net?

What if he said he didn't want you to hug your nephew?

I dunno... there are worse things in the world than having a picture of you at age 1 sitting on a rug with a bunch of wood blocks being posted on the internet for all to see.

Funny you say that - my cousin said the same thing ("please, take pictures for yourself but please don't post to social networking sites") years ago and I still remember it, because it sounded really smart If anyone asked me to respect their privacy I would do so without hesitation, it's their child not mine.

If they didn't want me to hug them I will not be the creepy uncle who protests, though I may talk about them behind their back. I suspect people will call me uptight behind my back, and I don't care one bit.

 

[slackerinabox]

You're being up tight right until the point that some sick fuck finds pleasure in the picture of your kid. Yeah, I said it!

My wife had the same policy and I support her. While I am much more tech savvy than her and can articulate how to protect them, we've all but refrained from pics of the kids on the internet.

THANK YOU! I'm shocked how indifferent people are about posting really sensitive stuff.. I don't want weird comments from that weird uncle you're always worried about.. I don't want that racist cousin who dislikes that I'm in a mixed race relationship to see my kid. I just want to control things as much as possible, though of course I can't protector her from everything or keep her in a bubble. Why does it have to be all or nothing?

 

[OutHouse]

one more reason why i hate facebook. its just retarded that people in your family are throwing a fit about posting pictures on it.

fyi i use picassa to share pictures and only people i allow can see them. or i just freaking email them.

 

[slackerinabox]

I hate pictures that were taken of me when I was a kid. That said... I couldn't care less whether or not other people see them. I'm not a kid any more. Yeah, I share some on Facebook, but compared to a lot of people I see, very, very, little. I fail to see how it's such a big deal.

There's a picture of me when I was 10 months old taking a shit that my parents find HILARIOUS. Do I want co-workers to see that now? I was a hardcore punk brat growing up, do I want people to see angsty 14 year old me with my skinhead punk friends? I'm glad that the pictures exist somewhere but I'd be mortified if an uncle's friend tagged me years ago leaving it easy for future H.R. departments to find.. (they weren't racist skinheads, they were confused vegan earth loving skinheads, but a picture of bald kinds wearing chains with their middle fingers up says something very dark that's not the whole story)

Finally, there's no way in hell I'd add anyone as a Facebook friend unless I were comfortable sharing some personal details. Not intimate secrets, but basic personal stuff... family, friends, general activities, pictures, etc. If I were somehow compelled to do so, I'd find a way to make sure they didn't see anything useful (I know there's some kind of group restrictions, but haven't paid much attention to them).

I use my facebook to keep in touch with clients (birthday reminders, etc.) as well as marginal acquaintances. In fact, I'm quite the opposite - I rarely use facebook to communicate with people I really know (that's what email's for), so I just use it differently than you. And the guy I just worked with in a business sense does not need to see my newborn!

 

[TridenT]

You're crazy. Babies are cute and in 6 months no one is going to care.

FTFY.

 

[slackerinabox]

one more reason why i hate facebook. its just retarded that people in your family are throwing a fit about posting pictures on it.

fyi i use picassa to share pictures and only people i allow can see them. or i just freaking email them.

Yep, I'm going to suggest that family use email or link to my password protected gallery to share photos. I'll suggest picasa too while walking them through the security settings (which they'll forget but a public/untagged photo on picasa's not really that scary to me vs facebook). I don't think it's asking too much - I'm not going to demand that they not take pictures - that's asinine. I'm just going to insist no social networking.

 

[TwiceOver]

Meh. I have a site for my son, it's not password protected or anything. Just make sure all the "bits & pieces" are not showing. We don't have him on Facebook or anything, but I dont' see harm in having pictures (thousands) of him on a website.

 

[mugs]

Oh what the hell... I just searched for my name in GIS (edit: Google Image Search). My last name is pretty rare (at least as a last name), so only the first dozen or so pictures are results for my first and last name. 4 of them are from me; 2 are current and former Facebook profile thumbnails (neither is a picture of me), and 2 are screenshots of apps I reviewed on iTunes. After that it's mostly male underwear models, mug shots, and some straight up gay porn.

In summary - is your kid's name extremely rare? If so, GIS can either have pictures of him or gay porn. If not, his pictures will be mixed in with who knows how many other kids have the same name.

 

[M0oG0oGaiPan]

No one wants to see baby pictures on facebook. You're doing us all a favor.

 

[lxskllr]

I'm with you. Online pictures documenting your kid's life could be a potential security risk in the future. Whether it is now, or not isn't relevant. Once the genie's out of the bottle, you won't be putting him back.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Minor controversy with my family and I'm wondering if I'm being weird... I don't want any pictures of our future baby (due in August) to end up on facebook and I'm being a little firm about it. I'm setting up a password protected smugmug site for friends and family but HATE the idea of posting baby pictures on facebook or having other family members upload and tag her in their photos, mostly because I just don't feel the need to document our baby's life in such a public manner. Hell, newborns kinda look like aliens and are only cute to parents/family, so the whole thing seems vain to me.

Am I being a stick in the mud? I hate googling myself and finding awful myspace profile pictures of myself in college (even though that profile is long gone). Imagine 18 years of photos all on facebook with only fuzzy privacy policies that can change and relatives I don't speak to anymore (with good reason!) peering at my kid.. Feels weird to me, or am I just crazy?

Edit: Just spoke it over with the mrs, we're standing firm. I understand the perspective of people who think my attitude's a bit dickish or paranoid but I feel strongly about privacy concerns and keeping family moments just for family (and select friends). Smugmug's great because it archives our photos and videos while providing a great password protected front end that has some nice features (inlaws can order prints) while also giving us the security we need.

I'm with you man. I can't stand that people post pictures on Facebook of other people. It pisses me off to no end knowing my GF posts crap there about our lives and our children. It's no one elses business but ours. Why she feels her "internet" friends need to know is beyond me. If you can't take the time to call someone or mail them a picture, they're not that important to you.

 

[airdata]

What's the big deal?

Are you running off to the presses and printing hard copies of pictures to send to relatives, or you're just going off grid?

I have a 4 week old, and while I'm not spamming all over my facebook, I can't see the harm in sharing the biggest part of my life.

 

[Ryland]

We don't have any pictures of ourselves or our son posted online. If we want someone to have a picture we email it to them. I have never seen a reason why my pictures need to be in the public domain...

 

[Turin39789]

I don't get the concern. We have pictures of our baby on facebook, certainly not all of the pictures but she is not absent. She is an important part of our life and facebook is an easy way to share her with our family.

 

[slackerinabox]

I'm with you. Online pictures documenting your kid's life could be a potential security risk in the future. Whether it is now, or not isn't relevant. Once the genie's out of the bottle, you won't be putting him back.

That's the thing - right now it's just vain to me, in a few years? My camera geotags with long. and lat. coordinates, I can disable it but what if my inlaws don't on their iPhones? Technology will evolve and privacy will continue to get thrown out the window. I always snicker when I see four square check ins - "Ha, Bob's at McDonalds - perfect time to steal his home theater system!" Which is a joke but, really, we tell and show people way too much, and I'm ok with being "weird" because I frankly believe that the masses are wrong on this.

Just yesterday I proved my point by clicking to a friend of a friend's baby album, which featured a just delivered/gooey baby.. Something that strangers just have no need to see.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

That's the thing - right now it's just vain to me, in a few years? My camera geotags with long. and lat. coordinates, I can disable it but what if my inlaws don't on their iPhones? Technology will evolve and privacy will continue to get thrown out the window. I always snicker when I see four square check ins - "Ha, Bob's at McDonalds - perfect time to steal his home theater system!" Which is a joke but, really, we tell and show people way too much, and I'm ok with being "weird" because I frankly believe that the masses are wrong on this.

Just yesterday I proved my point by clicking to a friend of a friend's baby album, which featured a just delivered/gooey baby.. Something that strangers just have no need to see.

It's funny because people that think it's fine to put everything on Facebook say, "It's not like you are going to be important and anything you do will come back to hurt you."
But they put things up thinking they are important to everyone else.

 

[dpodblood]

Why do people seem to think that everything on facebook is open to the outside world? If you don't want every one in the world seeing your profile or your photo's just lock down your account. Set up your profile so only your friends and family can see your information, pictures, posts, whatever. I have my profile set up so that my family and friends can see everything, while I keep others things hidden from my co-workers. And furthermore, if you dislike that creepy uncle or racist cousin of yours so much, why don't you just de-friend them? I don't see the point of remaining internet friends with anyone you don't want to associate with in real life.

But at the end of the day, it's your life, and your kid. Do what you think is right for your child, and don't make your decision based on what others might think.

 

[slackerinabox]

It's funny because people that think it's fine to put everything on Facebook say, "It's not like you are going to be important and anything you do will come back to hurt you."
But they put things up thinking they are important to everyone else.

It's a weird, contradictory stance - I complete agree. "It's safe because no one cares!" Then why post it in the first place? Security concerns aside, I find the whole thing completely self indulgent and, honestly, would be an absolute hypocrite because I've ignored people based on their obnoxious (in volume mostly, but sometimes content.. Especially baby penises everywhere.... Come on, put some pants on!) posting of baby pics. We get it, you procreated - good for you!

 

[slackerinabox]

Why do people seem to think that everything on facebook is open to the outside world? If you don't want every one in the world seeing your profile or your photo's just lock down your account. Set up your profile so only your friends and family can see your information, pictures, posts, whatever. I have my profile set up so that my family and friends can see everything, while I keep others things hidden from my co-workers. And furthermore, if you dislike that creepy uncle or racist cousin of yours so much, why don't you just de-friend them? I don't see the point of remaining internet friends with anyone you don't want to associate with in real life.

But at the end of the day, it's your life, and your kid. Do what you think is right for your child, and don't make your decision based on what others might think.

Because I have inlaws and parents who have completely public profiles, if they post pics and then tag me then - boom, pictures are public. I don't have my creepy uncles as friends but other people do. Also, I remember facebook changing their security settings and all of my pictures going public to my network (not just friends). I had to actively go back and change the security settings on hundreds of pictures, what's to stop them from changing their policy again and the inlaws/friends not doing the necessary updates? Or a security break? Or anything! Again, it's all trivial until someone posts a torrent of millions of facebook pictures and their tags. I'm of the belief that "ya, I'm not that important - who cares?" but, honestly, why should I willingly give out this information instead of just trying to protect my own privacy as much as possible

 

[dpodblood]

I can see your point there. At the end of the day though I think it will be hard to control what your in laws are posting on the internet, unless they really respect your wishes.

 

[slackerinabox]

I can see your point there. At the end of the day though I think it will be hard to control what your in laws are posting on the internet, unless they really respect your wishes.

It'll be hard but I talked it over with my wife and agreed to be those asshole parents that actively monitor our parents/family and, if they don't respect our wishes, will call them on it until they do. I don't care if I alienate people - it's my kid after all. I've had relatives from india who I've never met commenting on my wedding pictures (to my mom) even though they're completely locked down on facebook. That's an intimate, personal thing to me and I have no idea how they saw it but they did, and I won't repeat that mistake again.

 

[OCGuy]

Dont worry they will be on 4 chan once she is 15 and breaks it off with her 18 yr old senior boyfriend....he will post all of the sexts.

 

[Zombie]

I am not on Facebook but my wife is and we have may be 2-3 pictures of the kids. We are very careful in posting pictures or life details. What I have found though is that you cannot control what others do with the picture they take of you.

I am not sure how you can control others from posting pictures of you they took with their camera. Even if you convince them to remove them, the pictures are already in some cache somewhere.

 

[slackerinabox]

I am not on Facebook but my wife is and we have may be 2-3 pictures of the kids. We are very careful in posting pictures or life details. What I have found though is that you cannot control what others do with the picture they take of you.

I am not sure how you can control others from posting pictures of you they took with their camera. Even if you convince them to remove them, the pictures are already in some cache somewhere.

I've agreed to selectively post Holiday greeting style professional photographs, 3 times a year max. As long as I control what is shown then I'm ok with that.

About family not respecting my wishes - my inlaws and family already know that I'm completely capable of standing my ground, even if it means hurting a lot of feelings. They've seen it already and I have no problem doing it again. Does that make me a dick? Probably. But I'm kinda proud of it because I used to be the guy who let everyone run my life with their.. opinions.. If they post one picture? Sure, that's a slip and they'll just get a nice reminder... If they systematically do so then they lose photo taking privileges and even visitation rights. It's not about silly facebook photos, it's about them not respecting my explicitly stated wishes for my daughter's privacy.

Sounds dickish but I have a lot of family drama, from jealous half-siblings (jealous because they feel that my parents spoiled me and my sister while ignoring them) to an uncle who happens to like to spread rumors and lies because he hates my mom. I just don't need my kid to be dragged into this drama so like to keep everything on lock down, and will be militant about it if I have to! My uncle sent emails of a picture of my niece, making fun of her for being dark! Of course she's dark, we're indian! I just don't have the patience to deal with b.s. like that.