Don't want my baby's photos to be on facebook - am I being unfair?

[slackerinabox]

Minor controversy with my family and I'm wondering if I'm being weird... I don't want any pictures of our future baby (due in August) to end up on facebook and I'm being a little firm about it. I'm setting up a password protected smugmug site for friends and family but HATE the idea of posting baby pictures on facebook or having other family members upload and tag her in their photos, mostly because I just don't feel the need to document our baby's life in such a public manner. Hell, newborns kinda look like aliens and are only cute to parents/family, so the whole thing seems vain to me.

Am I being a stick in the mud? I hate googling myself and finding awful myspace profile pictures of myself in college (even though that profile is long gone). Imagine 18 years of photos all on facebook with only fuzzy privacy policies that can change and relatives I don't speak to anymore (with good reason!) peering at my kid.. Feels weird to me, or am I just crazy?

Edit: Just spoke it over with the mrs, we're standing firm. I understand the perspective of people who think my attitude's a bit dickish or paranoid but I feel strongly about privacy concerns and keeping family moments just for family (and select friends). Smugmug's great because it archives our photos and videos while providing a great password protected front end that has some nice features (inlaws can order prints) while also giving us the security we need.

 

[cronos]

It's your baby. You can do what you want to do.

 

[Drako]

I'm with you, but I'm a curmudgeon according to my wife :biggrin:

 

[ProfJohn]

You're crazy. Babies are cute and in 18 years no one is going to care.

 

[Jaepheth]

I have MS Paint approximations of myself instead of photos on facebook. I think it's a good compromise.

 

[Mxylplyx]

Yeah, you're being a little weird. Trust me, aside what you may think, your baby isnt going to be that special. It's just another baby picture among the billions already posted. It's certainly not worth battling your wife over.

 

[slackerinabox]

I'm with you, but I'm a curmudgeon according to my wife :biggrin:

I know! I feel like a stick in the mud but I would feel AWFUL if I grew up now and there were 30 years of awkward baby photos out there, just a google search away. I'm so glad that the picture of me pooping for the first time exists only in the bottom of my mom's dresser.

 

[BurnItDwn]

facebook is indeed too public IMO, put them some place protected online. You don't want some comments from some idiot in google's cache to affect her later in life IMO.

 

[apac]

I think you're being pretty uptight about it. But then, I don't hide much from the internet.

Regardless of what you do, your family will probably upload photos at point or another. From family get togethers, etc. You can do as you please but you'll create drama if you try to keep the rest of the family in line with your wishes.

If you don't want people on Facebook to see photos, de friend them.

 

[slackerinabox]

Yeah, you're being a little weird. Trust me, aside what you may think, your baby isnt going to be that special. It's just another baby picture among the billions already posted. It's certainly not worth battling your wife over.

I think the complete opposite, I'm asian and we're not big on vanity I feel that posting baby pictures = unnecessarily braggy or attention whorey. In fact, I haven't posted a new picture to my facebook since I got married. I feel no need to share, I'm not that special after all.

 

[apac]

I think the complete opposite, I'm asian and we're not big on vanity I feel that posting baby pictures = unnecessarily braggy or attention whorey. In fact, I haven't posted a new picture to my facebook since I got married. I feel no need to share, I'm not that special after all.

Then what's the issue? If you don't use facebook anyway, so why are you concerned about not posting photos? Seems like not posting photos would be par for the course.

I get the impression your main concern is with your family posting pictures. Sorry, Charlie, it's been my experience that family does what family wants, no matter what rules you try to put down. I don't think it's worth the fighting to try and keep them from putting pictures up publicly.

 

[slackerinabox]

I think you're being pretty uptight about it. But then, I don't hide much from the internet.

Regardless of what you do, your family will probably upload photos at point or another. From family get togethers, etc. You can do as you please but you'll create drama if you try to keep the rest of the family in line with your wishes.

If you don't want people on Facebook to see photos, de friend them.

I'll agree with you on that - other people will post her pictures and I can't stop that, attempting to with seem nazi-esque...

 

[slackerinabox]

Then what's the issue? If you don't use facebook anyway, so why are you concerned about not posting photos? Seems like not posting photos would be par for the course.

I get the impression your main concern is with your family posting pictures. Sorry, Charlie, it's been my experience that family does what family wants, no matter what rules you try to put down. I don't think it's worth the fighting to try and keep them from putting pictures up publicly.

I don't post pictures at all but the mrs... Not that I can tell her what to do, but I think my argument's valid - why doesn't anyone care about privacy anymore?

 

[KeithTalent]

Don't worry man, I support you in this. Heck, I don't even want my picture up on Facebook and would never put my kid up on it. If you want to see my kid, come to my house, or I'll bring it to you, otherwise you can go fuck yourself.

KT

 

[apac]

I don't post pictures at all but the mrs... Not that I can tell her what to do, but I think my argument's valid - why doesn't anyone care about privacy anymore?

Ahhh. Well, in that case you have to ask yourself if you really want to have this argument with her, because it will lead to one. People who get entrenched in social networking (myself included) will only let you take it from their cold, dead hands. It becomes a part of life. Methinks you will lose this battle one way or another - it would be in your best interest accept it now, rather than fight her on it and lose anyway because, as you said, "Not that I can tell her what to do".

 

[Mxylplyx]

I think the complete opposite, I'm asian and we're not big on vanity I feel that posting baby pictures = unnecessarily braggy or attention whorey. In fact, I haven't posted a new picture to my facebook since I got married. I feel no need to share, I'm not that special after all.

I dont post pictures either, my wife does it. Just because you feel no need to share doesnt mean everyone else feels that way. If you decide to go to battle with your wife over this one small issue, you two probably got a bumpy road ahead when the "real" issues start.

 

[slackerinabox]

I dont post pictures either, my wife does it. Just because you feel no need to share doesnt been everyone else feels that way. If you decide to go to battle with your wife over this one small issue, you two probably got a bumpy road ahead when the "real" issues start.

Ha, I'm not battling over this and she kinda agrees with me as is, she just doesn't want to appear weird to relatives. I don't get it though, people are posting pictures of premmies in in critical condition, nothing seems private anymore and I'd personally hate being born into hundreds of strangers (weirdos who I barely remember from elementary school) leering at and judging baby photos. Heck, I add clients to my facebook and don't necessarily want them to know I'm a dad... I don't personally know everyone on my facebook and feel very weird about broadcasting my personal life. I figured a smugmug gallery open only to family members seemed like an ok compromise

 

[Texashiker]

Minor controversy with my family and I'm wondering if I'm being weird...

Your just a concerned parent - I know lots of people that do not post pics of their kids on the net.

Your request is perfectly fine, and don't worry about what other people think.

 

[edro]

Do you want Facebook and the whole internet to own photos of your baby?
If you upload them to Facebook, you do.

You have valid concerns.

 

[Mr. Pedantic]

I think you're being a bit uptight about it, but I can understand why you would want to do this. As far as impacting on people's lives, baby photos are pretty harmless - nobody is going to use them as incriminating evidence or anything. But once they're up, they're up. I think that putting them on a private photo gallery online would be much better.

 

[moshquerade]

good intentions, but i say good luck. others will take pics of your baby and they will end up online.

 

[Squisher]

I really don't understand your reluctance unless you plan on shielding the child from ever being viewed in public, but to each their own. Then again I don't facebook.

 

[slackerinabox]

Don't worry man, I support you in this. Heck, I don't even want my picture up on Facebook and would never put my kid up on it. If you want to see my kid, come to my house, or I'll bring it to you, otherwise you can go fuck yourself.

KT

Thanks man - I feel like the whole world is going mad about this... Babies grow into kids grow into preteens and... It just seems like a very slippery slope and if I don't set the ground rules now then it's basically just turning her childhood into a reality show.. I know it's not abnormal - I've seen people I don't know grow up online.. But I find that it's weird that that's acceptable.

 

[AreaCode707]

I'm supportive of your stance. There's no obvious harm in having the pictures up but what goes on the internet stays on the internet forever, and I think it's well within your parental rights to ask for photos to remain private. Let the child decide for him or herself how public they want their life to be.

It would annoy the heck out of me to know that my childhood photos were publicly accessible; nothing like having a coworker Google you and have a nice photo of you as a two year old in a diaper covered in chocolate cake and cheerios.

 

[Numenorean]

Facebook probably won't even exist when he grows up.