Don't want my baby's photos to be on facebook - am I being unfair?

[GeekDrew]

I hate pictures that were taken of me when I was a kid. That said... I couldn't care less whether or not other people see them. I'm not a kid any more. Yeah, I share some on Facebook, but compared to a lot of people I see, very, very, little. I fail to see how it's such a big deal.

Oh, and if I ever see your kid out in public, I'll be sure to take a pic and upload it publicly, just to piss you off. Pull the stick out of your ass.

Finally, there's no way in hell I'd add anyone as a Facebook friend unless I were comfortable sharing some personal details. Not intimate secrets, but basic personal stuff... family, friends, general activities, pictures, etc. If I were somehow compelled to do so, I'd find a way to make sure they didn't see anything useful (I know there's some kind of group restrictions, but haven't paid much attention to them).

 

[KaOTiK]

I'm with you on this. Waaaay too many people don't value their privacy anymore.

Who knows too, kids nowadays are doing cyber bullying, it isn't too far of a stretch that when your kid is in school and a kid starts picking on them that that kid might come across your kids baby pictures on the net. I don't know about others, but I never liked others seeing my baby pictures regardless of who they were and now they can be used as ammo against you, fuck that.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

FB can be as public or private as you want. You can set limits on your albums so that only specific people can see them... not just friends or friends of friends, but specific people.

Personally I don't see what the big deal is but you're the parent so you can do whatever you want.

 

[Matthiasa]

Well you could put it up and properly protect it...
I have things on more then a few "social networking" sites and when you google my name I simply don't show up.
Can't say the same about others that share my name though.

 

[Deeko]

I agree, OP. I was just talking to my girlfriend about similar - several of her relatives have had babies in the past few years, and they flood Facebook with baby pictures...my comment was, if Facebook had existed when I was young, I sure wouldn't have wanted all these pictures posted. It seems...I dunno...rude to the kid?

Plus, like you said, babies are hideous creatures, they're very much a "beauty in the eye of the beholder" kind of thing...so I don't want to see your baby pictures, and if I have my way, you won't have to see mine either.

Edit - and I'm not your average Facebook-hating AT'er, either. I use Facebook plenty, and have plenty of pictures on there...but they're pictures I chose to post.

 

[JEDIYoda]

Minor controversy with my family and I'm wondering if I'm being weird... I don't want any pictures of our future baby (due in August) to end up on facebook and I'm being a little firm about it. I'm setting up a password protected smugmug site for friends and family but HATE the idea of posting baby pictures on facebook or having other family members upload and tag her in their photos, mostly because I just don't feel the need to document our baby's life in such a public manner. Hell, newborns kinda look like aliens and are only cute to parents/family, so the whole thing seems vain to me.

Am I being a stick in the mud? I hate googling myself and finding awful myspace profile pictures of myself in college (even though that profile is long gone). Imagine 18 years of photos all on facebook with only fuzzy privacy policies that can change and relatives I don't speak to anymore (with good reason!) peering at my kid.. Feels weird to me, or am I just crazy?

Its obvious that you have not been trained correctly.
The first thing is you always have the last words, which are -- YES!! Sweety!!
The second thing is that its better to let the wife have her way and the world be a happy place, than to get your way and be miserable forever!!

 

[lupi]

you're being a normal you.

 

[MotionMan]

Do you want Facebook and the whole internet to own photos of your baby?
If you upload them to Facebook, you do.

So what?

MotionMan

 

[MotionMan]

I agree, OP. I was just talking to my girlfriend about similar - several of her relatives have had babies in the past few years, and they flood Facebook with baby pictures...my comment was, if Facebook had existed when I was young, I sure wouldn't have wanted all these pictures posted. It seems...I dunno...rude to the kid?

Plus, like you said, babies are hideous creatures, they're very much a "beauty in the eye of the beholder" kind of thing...so I don't want to see your baby pictures, and if I have my way, you won't have to see mine either.

Edit - and I'm not your average Facebook-hating AT'er, either. I use Facebook plenty, and have plenty of pictures on there...but they're pictures I chose to post.

But what is OPs concern, ruining the kid's future chances of getting laid or posting ugly pictures? Neither concern seems valid or worth causing any family friction over.

MotionMan

 

[Chrono]

Hm... I don't think it's that big of a deal really but you can try using picaso or some other picture site and putting security on the album then sending them the link?

 

[MotionMan]

Just gonna put this here:

http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=2168812

MotionMan

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

I know! I feel like a stick in the mud but I would feel AWFUL if I grew up now and there were 30 years of awkward baby photos out there, just a google search away. I'm so glad that the picture of me pooping for the first time exists only in the bottom of my mom's dresser.

How long do you think it takes for a baby to mature?

 

[SlowSpyder]

I'm with you, but I'm a curmudgeon according to my wife :biggrin:

I read that as cumdungeon. Hmph.

 

[Deeko]

But what is OPs concern, ruining the kid's future chances of getting laid or posting ugly pictures? Neither concern seems valid or worth causing any family friction over.

MotionMan

I don't see why it has to be friction. Just politely ask them not to do it. If they throw a fit about it, they're probably the types of assholes that will cause family friction regardless, so its not like you can avoid it.

 

[gorcorps]

Meh, I understand not wanting to post them yourself... but banning your family from doing it is ridiculous. You can ask, but you can't really stop them.

 

[Perknose]

But what is OPs concern, ruining the kid's future chances of getting laid or posting ugly pictures? Neither concern seems valid or worth causing any family friction over.

MotionMan

You don't seem to understand the concept of privacy or parenthood. If the OP doesn't want pics of his baby on Facebook, it doesn't matter whether you or anyone else thinks his concern is valid or not. His wife is in basic agreement, the only family friction would come from his relatives not respecting his daughter's privacy rights in this one small respect, as determined by her father.

OP, I'm with you and KT and the few others who support your stance.

Facebook is a holding pen full of clueless idiots and the trolls and commercial interests who prey on them for fun and profit. It's no place to "share" anything really meaningful to you. There are countless other more controllable avenues to do so on the net.

If you wish, attempt to explain to the rest of your family why you don't with to, although good luck with that.

You don't need to pander to the lowest common denominator just because it's popular and "convenient" with the clueless masses, which includes your less net savvy relatives.

And, yes, I have an FB account.

 

[slackerinabox]

Just spoke it over with the mrs, we're standing firm. I understand the perspective of people who think my attitude's a bit dickish or paranoid but I feel strongly about privacy concerns and keeping family moments just for family (and select friends). Smugmug's great because it archives our photos and videos while providing a great password protected front end that has some nice features (inlaws can order prints) while also giving us the security we need.

 

[silverpig]

Break out the internet burqa. And the physical burqa too. I think it's kind of dickish.

Taking pictures is normal. Nowadays, posting pictures on the internet is normal. What if your brother said he didn't want you to take pictures of his kid, let alone post them on the net?

What if he said he didn't want you to hug your nephew?

I dunno... there are worse things in the world than having a picture of you at age 1 sitting on a rug with a bunch of wood blocks being posted on the internet for all to see.

 

[Deeko]

Nowadays, posting pictures on the internet is normal.

Its a mater of respect, both for the parent making the request, and the child.

What if your brother said he didn't want you to take pictures of his kid, let alone post them on the net?

I would shrug and say ok. In fact, while my brother does not have any rules like that, and posts pictures of his son on Facebook, I sent him pictures I took over Christmas via a secure Windows Live album rather than posting them on Facebook for this exact reason. Its up to him if he wants those pictures posted, not me.

What if he said he didn't want you to hug your nephew?

I would shrug and say ok. I might ask why, but again - its about respect for the parent & their wishes for their child.

I dunno... there are worse things in the world than having a picture of you at age 1 sitting on a rug with a bunch of wood blocks being posted on the internet for all to see.

Of course there are, not everything has to be the ultimate extreme - but that doesn't mean you can't be respectful.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Don't see what the big deal is but to each their own. I enjoy seeing new pics of my nephew that are posted by my sister-in-law on her facebook page.

Do you plan to be so protective of the child in all facets when he/she grows-up?

 

[BTA]

Don't blame you. We'd probably feel the same way.

 

[CFP]

Who would have thought that facebook considerations would actually come into play with yet-to-be-borns at the inception of the service?

Jesus.

 

[MarkXIX]

You're being up tight right until the point that some sick fuck finds pleasure in the picture of your kid. Yeah, I said it!

My wife had the same policy and I support her. While I am much more tech savvy than her and can articulate how to protect them, we've all but refrained from pics of the kids on the internet.

 

[CFP]

Pics of the kids in general are rarely enjoyed by anyone outside of direct family. Friends are only pretending. Why even put them on the net in the first place?

 

[mpo]

We don't post pictures of our child on Facebook. For the occasional picture that does get posted by family (mainly group shots) we've asked the picture not be tagged or labeled.

I don't think the OP is out of line.