It's alright-ish. Really should be used as a last resort. Some little punks I see and hear about, even I want to kick their little asses for being such pricks. At the same time, someone must have screwed up along the way if non-physical punishment doesn't get the point across. Of course, if this does happen, I'd rather you just do it so the POS doesn't turn into the next serial killer.
AreaCode707
Lifer
- Sep 21, 2001
- 18,447
- 133
- 106
I believe in spanking but not for everyday events. Spanking in our house was reserved for two occasions.
1. Direct defiance. You tell the kid not to do something, s/he looks you in the eyes and does it deliberately anyway.
2. Anything where the child is putting him/herself in danger. Don't touch the stove, go into the street, etc.
1. Direct defiance. You tell the kid not to do something, s/he looks you in the eyes and does it deliberately anyway.
2. Anything where the child is putting him/herself in danger. Don't touch the stove, go into the street, etc.
my dad used to smack me around. just made me angry and forced me to defy him more.. one day i punched him back in the face, he stopped smacking me around that day.
oh yeah, my sister (having been beaten in the past) now choses to explain what her daughter did wrong and how her bad behavior affects other people. She punishes her by taking away priviledges and the little girl replies so well to it - she LEARNS what she did wrong instead of just fearing her mom. She's the best behaved 3 year old I know, and my sister or her husband never used violence to make their point.
I don't think anything on the level of child abuse territory should be inflicted on a child but spanking or some sort of light physical punishment is fine by me. I don't think young children understand why they should not do something because they have not developed the reasoning skills yet. Some physical deterrent or fear of a physical deterrent usually suffices until the child is old enough to understand. And when the kid is old enough to understand and they still do something wrong, that means they chose to do it and they need a reminder on the idea of consequences.
My mom is a small Asian woman, maybe 5'0" tall. She does not have the intimidation factor or the verbal influence (think yelling) of my father. Her simple approach for me to respect her was to simply twist my ears. She said it hurt her hands to spank me or the like so she chose to use what was used on her by her parents which was a simple ear twisting. My god I am still afraid of her doing that to this day (mind you I am 23 and this has not happened in many many years). It literally took her doing that once to put the equivalent of the fear of god in me to respect her and what she said.
My mom is a small Asian woman, maybe 5'0" tall. She does not have the intimidation factor or the verbal influence (think yelling) of my father. Her simple approach for me to respect her was to simply twist my ears. She said it hurt her hands to spank me or the like so she chose to use what was used on her by her parents which was a simple ear twisting. My god I am still afraid of her doing that to this day (mind you I am 23 and this has not happened in many many years). It literally took her doing that once to put the equivalent of the fear of god in me to respect her and what she said.
My parents never spanked me and I think I turned out all right. Definitely wasn't spoiled (but not deprived either). I had a bit of a rebellious stage, but what kid hasn't, I never did anything really bad.
I don't think spanking should be illegal or anything like that, I just don't think it's the best way to raise a kid. Sure, you can get your kid to shut up and stay in line maybe, but that won't make them understand what they did wrong and why it was wrong, and will only make them resent you and eventually rebel against you as they get older.
If spanking is to be used, as others said, it should only be used for serious offenses. If you spank your kids for everything (or as one wise poster so diligently put it, "for no reason at all", I cringe to see what his kids are going to turn out like), they will get used to it and not take you seriously when they really screw up. It's the same reason we don't sentence someone to 20 years for littering.
I will never lay a hand on my child.
<-- Got the back hand till I get nose bleeds & black eyes, canes several time per week since I was 1 year old. I have had many type of materials shattered over my bloody back (twice hospitalized for beating treatments): bamboo rods, rattan rods, electrical cables, chain, 2x2 wooden studs, broom sticks, wooden chair, thrown against wall (age 1 for crying), slapped, punched, and kicked.
IMHO, bonding time is much more productive/reward than the cane. Misbehavior is born out of neglect & reward for mischief, and educate the child as to their action/behavior/consequences is much more effective than swift capital punishment.
Not related but, extreme measure doesn't deter undesirable behavior -- Deterrence: States Without the Death Penalty Fared Better Over Past Decade
I was spanked as a child, occasionally. While I don't think that spanking is wrong, I think it should be avoided as much as possible. If I have kids, I intend to spank them as rarely as possible.
Part of the reason that I dislike corporal punishment is that it encourages children to fall into lock step. I personally want my kids to be rebels. That is not to say that I want them to break the law, or not to listen to anyone, but that I want them to question what people say, and never take anything on faith, even from me.
Part of the reason that I dislike corporal punishment is that it encourages children to fall into lock step. I personally want my kids to be rebels. That is not to say that I want them to break the law, or not to listen to anyone, but that I want them to question what people say, and never take anything on faith, even from me.
F*ck yes.
Not just spanking, but I'll beat with a belt, stick, wires, and even getting a ruler by hitting their knuckles with it.
Not just spanking, but I'll beat with a belt, stick, wires, and even getting a ruler by hitting their knuckles with it.
No... wtf is wrong with you people? 274 yes and 34 no?
oh yeah I forgot... child abuse is the cool nowadays right? :disgust:
oh yeah I forgot... child abuse is the cool nowadays right? :disgust:
I believe it's ok to tie them up and torture them. No seriously, if you don't spank your kids, they will be spoiled brats. I've seen it in action.
Not at all. I've seen parents begging their children to behave and the child just has no regard for them at all. Menendez brothers? They weren't abused, they were pampered and showed their appreciation. If you don't show your kids that there are bad results for bad actions, what can you expect when they grow up? You can expect them to run big companies and then sell out the employees' retirements when things go sour. You can expect them to become president and treat women like tramps and lie. Teach them respect and consequences, and they will be more likely to do the right thing when the time comes.
You don't think it may have something to do with, I don't know, the parenting skills instead of lack of physical abuse? Obviously if the parents are begging the children to behave and the kids aren't listening, the parents failed at raising their child.
Why do the 'bad results for a bad action' have to be physical abuse? Should the child grow up thinking that violence is the solution to any problem?
Respect and consequences != violence.
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