Did your parents call you names and/or degrade you when you were a child?

[Vonkhan]

Nope, they just refused to buy me cool stuff

 

[KarmaPolice]

I've been through sad times in my life but my Mom and Dad have never done anything towards that they thought was not in my interests. They are totally supportive in whatever I want to do.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: LolaWiz

Originally posted by: MrsBugi

Originally posted by: LolaWiz
not really. My dad kind of over-reacted with a lot of things, but he never really said mean stuff like that. He was the "yeller" my mom was the "peace at all costs" parent. When they were together, they evened each other out... When they got a divorce, it became harder for them to agree on a parenting style because they had joint custody.

i will NEVER ever say something like that to my children. Things like that stay in their little minds forever.
Even if a parent is mad at a child... they are mad at the ACTIONS of the child, not the child themselves. You have to make them aware of that.

You are going to be such a wonderful parent. :thumbsup: It's sad how few people realize the truth in those words.

Thank you... I know you will be too... A hot AND caring mommy! :heart:

I love how people who aren't parents yet tell other people how they're going to be.... heheheh

Lol...I was just about to point that out. Nothing wrong with saying good luck, but you can't know how someone is going to be as a parent. Everyone can sound like a good parent on paper.

 

[soydios]

"Selfish little child" was what I heard most when my parents were displeased with me when I was a young teen. But, it trained me to avoid being selfish.

 

[SampSon]

Once, then I rid the world of them.

 

[lokiju]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Uh, no. My parents didn't suck at parenting.

- M4H

QFT

 

[theprodigalrebel]

No, but my Dad used to make really weird jokes about my then-overbite

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Yep. They still do , constantly.

Korea ftw....

 

[Fern]

No, I was blessed with very good parents.

Fern

 

[FeuerFrei]

Originally posted by: Fern
No, I was blessed with very good parents.

Fern

Thanks, son!

 

[Mill]

My parents very rarely if ever insulted anything I did. They may have disagreed with what I did, been disappointed, or even insulted by something, but they never verbally abused me in such a manner. Probably the worst thing they ever said was calling me a jerk or something like that (and I was a jerk at the time).

Now my friend's dad... my friend had a bit of a weight problem. Plus, he really hated his little brother (12 year age gap) because he had been an only child before that. Now, it was true that his parents essentially ignored him once his little brother arrived, so I understand why he pestered the little munchkin. One day I was at his house and he stole his little brother's sandwich. He was running up the stairs and his Dad asked him if he stole the sandwich. He said yes, and said he would give it back. His Dad becomes ENRAGED and starts yelling at him over and over: JUST EAT IT YOU PIG. EAT IT PIG EAT IT.

Needless to say I was like WTF?

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Actually, being degraded day in and out actually helped me. I have absolutely no emotion to name calling anymore because i Could care less.

I also have a handy ability to shut out everything

In Korea, some people (My family members) regard name calling as discipline..and it works.

 

[Mill]

Originally posted by: tenshodo13
Actually, being degraded day in and out actually helped me. I have absolutely no emotion to name calling anymore because i Could care less.

I also have a handy ability to shut out everything

In Korea, some people (My family members) regard name calling as discipline..and it works.

Obviously it works well. See gunman Cho. :roll:

I'm sure having no emotion and shutting everything out is real healthy.

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Originally posted by: Mill

Originally posted by: tenshodo13
Actually, being degraded day in and out actually helped me. I have absolutely no emotion to name calling anymore because i Could care less.

I also have a handy ability to shut out everything

In Korea, some people (My family members) regard name calling as discipline..and it works.

Obviously it works well. See gunman Cho. :roll:

I'm sure having no emotion and shutting everything out is real healthy.

Yeah, probably not healthy.

Probably also the reason why I always feel crappy.

 

[xanis]

I don't think my parents have ever verbally abused me to the extend of degrading me, but they've said their share. Mainly I just get called "a lazy piece of crap" or something to that effect. I just tune it out.

 

[Mill]

Originally posted by: tenshodo13

Originally posted by: Mill

Originally posted by: tenshodo13
Actually, being degraded day in and out actually helped me. I have absolutely no emotion to name calling anymore because i Could care less.

I also have a handy ability to shut out everything

In Korea, some people (My family members) regard name calling as discipline..and it works.

Obviously it works well. See gunman Cho. :roll:

I'm sure having no emotion and shutting everything out is real healthy.

Yeah, probably not healthy.

Probably also the reason why I always feel crappy.

YGPM

 

[Kirby]

Nope. Good parents raising me, good parents now that I'm somewhat grown.

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Originally posted by: Mill

Originally posted by: tenshodo13

Originally posted by: Mill

Originally posted by: tenshodo13
Actually, being degraded day in and out actually helped me. I have absolutely no emotion to name calling anymore because i Could care less.

I also have a handy ability to shut out everything

In Korea, some people (My family members) regard name calling as discipline..and it works.

Obviously it works well. See gunman Cho. :roll:

I'm sure having no emotion and shutting everything out is real healthy.

Yeah, probably not healthy.

Probably also the reason why I always feel crappy.

YGPM

What does YGMP mean?

 

[lyssword]

Yep, constantly degrading names since the age of 5 to age of 20. Now I moved out and really happy

 

[shopbruin]

Originally posted by: Dacalo
No my parents (Asian) never did such a thing. Both my father and mother were usually quiet and rarely yelled, and when they did yell, they never called me names or anything.

They would tell me what I did wrong, and if severe enough, discipline me with a stick to the calves.

yeah you know what i don't recall my parents calling me names. i do remember the whacking with the infamous "gai mo so" when i didn't want to do my homework. i can't remember why i was being a punk too, i just didn't want to spell the word "squirrel" i think. i vaguely remember the word squirrel and trying to write it out over and over and i couldn't remember how to do it, and i kept sneaking a look at the correct spelling.

what a rebel i was. anyways, i listen to my parents all the time (even now)

 

[angminas]

If your parents raised you poorly, get a handle on yourself before you have kids. Even if it takes years. To do otherwise is to doom your kids to more of the same.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

If they did I don't remember it. Usually it was a dumbass little brother that got most of the verbal abuse, and deservedly. I just got smacked upside the head.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson
My Dad was like that, he's gotten much more mellow since then though. Especially since my son came along. He adores my son, and I know he'd lay his life on the line for him. He's the polar opposite with him vs. the way he was with my brother and I.

I caught the brunt of his verbal abusiveness mainly because I always stepped in if he was coming down on my little brother and made myself the target of his words.

My brother never seemed grateful for it, nor did he ever share the contempt for my father that I had at the time. That, for a very long while, caused me to resent my brother as well. It also caused me to question if I was wrong in thinking Dad shouldn't be like that....it made me think it might be normal, bthat all families are like that and just don't talk about it. Of course I know better now at the ripe old age of 30. My brother is one of the most well adjusted, well rounded, nicest individuals you'll ever meet. I hope I had something to do with that.

Only after moving out did I learn to let go of a lot of that inward hatred and resentment. Even that took time though, the damage was already done.

It got to a point where I realized I was old and competent enough to know better than to blame any of my lifes failings on the way he treated me. That was an easy trap to fall into though.

My confidence is very close now to where it should have been all along and I think he sees that and respects it. I know he's sorry for what he did, though he's from the generation that doesn't really apologize, confess wrong doing, or talk about feelings. I know from his actions and words here and there though. And again, especially from the way he treats my son.

From the day my son was born my father changed 100%, it was a huge shock to me because I feared he might treat him the same way we got treated.

I love my Dad, it took me a long time to, but I do. I'll never forget what I went through, but I will forgive it. Otherwise, having resentemnt still will only poison me, and more importantly my relationship with my son.

I have full custody of my son, and his mother calls once in awhile, but otherwise isn't in his life. So naturally there are times when we get on each others nerves and we try each others patience. He's 9 too, so he's starting to really form his own identity, which is hard for both of us.

As long as I can remember though I've never ended a phone call, or left him with my parents to go somewhere, or dropped him off at school, or tucked him in good night without saying I love you to him....not once.

It's something my Dad never did and I guess it's important to me to know that no matter what my son and I may go through I will always love him. He gripes about it once in awhile if his friends are around or something, but I laugh and tell him tough titties, I'll tell him that every day, until the day I die.

:heart:

Breaking the pattern is something everyone can do. Kudos to you.

 

[TheRyuu]

Maybe as a joke or something but never for real...

 

[BabaBooey]

Ahh yes,memories.....:roll:


My dad made it a point to degrade me on EVERY thing I did...daily.....thank god the ass died in 85..



Thanks dad...hope ya are rotting in hell...