Did your parents call you names and/or degrade you when you were a child?

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L

Lola

not really. My dad kind of over-reacted with a lot of things, but he never really said mean stuff like that. He was the "yeller" my mom was the "peace at all costs" parent. When they were together, they evened each other out... When they got a divorce, it became harder for them to agree on a parenting style because they had joint custody.

i will NEVER ever say something like that to my children. Things like that stay in their little minds forever.
Even if a parent is mad at a child... they are mad at the ACTIONS of the child, not the child themselves. You have to make them aware of that.
 
M

MrsBugi

Platinum Member
Aug 19, 2005
2,481
5
0
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
not really. My dad kind of over-reacted with a lot of things, but he never really said mean stuff like that. He was the "yeller" my mom was the "peace at all costs" parent. When they were together, they evened each other out... When they got a divorce, it became harder for them to agree on a parenting style because they had joint custody.

i will NEVER ever say something like that to my children. Things like that stay in their little minds forever.
Even if a parent is mad at a child... they are mad at the ACTIONS of the child, not the child themselves. You have to make them aware of that.
Click to expand...

You are going to be such a wonderful parent. :thumbsup: It's sad how few people realize the truth in those words.
 
irishScott

irishScott

Lifer
Oct 10, 2006
21,562
3
0
No names. I was taught early that name-calling was bad (even before Sesame Street and Shining Time Station got to it). I was spanked from time to time if I did anything extremely wrong and made the sit on the stairs (time out) for lesser offenses.
 
L

Lola

Originally posted by: MrsBugi
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
not really. My dad kind of over-reacted with a lot of things, but he never really said mean stuff like that. He was the "yeller" my mom was the "peace at all costs" parent. When they were together, they evened each other out... When they got a divorce, it became harder for them to agree on a parenting style because they had joint custody.

i will NEVER ever say something like that to my children. Things like that stay in their little minds forever.
Even if a parent is mad at a child... they are mad at the ACTIONS of the child, not the child themselves. You have to make them aware of that.
Click to expand...

You are going to be such a wonderful parent. :thumbsup: It's sad how few people realize the truth in those words.
Click to expand...

Thank you... I know you will be too... A hot AND caring mommy! :heart:
 
irishScott

irishScott

Lifer
Oct 10, 2006
21,562
3
0
Originally posted by: uhohs
they still do. chinese parents ftw.
:disgust:
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You have dishonored your ancestors. Now commit suicide you worthless insult to your genes!
 
B

bignateyk

Lifer
Apr 22, 2002
11,288
7
0
I dont think theyve ever explicitly called me stupid, but they have said things that ive done are stupid.

i.e. "That was f'ing stupid. Dont do that again."

Although my mom did call my sister a bitch a few times.
 
M

MrsBugi

Platinum Member
Aug 19, 2005
2,481
5
0
Originally posted by: uhohs
they still do. chinese parents ftw.
:disgust:
Click to expand...

:(

It's so sad how much of that is such a deeply ingrained cultural pattern. I've always found it mind-boggling that Asian parents tend to degrade their kids in an attempt to motivate them to do better. As if "YOU'RE SO STUPID YOU DIDN'T GET AN A INSTEAD OF AN A- ON THAT MATH TEST, YOU DUMMY IDIOT!" would motivate a child to think, "Wow, you're right! Thanks, Mom and Dad! I'm going work harder!" It really does have an impact on a child's self-esteem and sense of self-worth. It's unfortunate how many cases I see like this among my clients.
 
P

paulxcook

Diamond Member
May 1, 2005
4,277
1
0
Nope, no namecalling from my parents, or to my future kids. How can you expect a kid to behave if you don't yourself?
 
M

mooglekit

Senior member
Jul 1, 2003
616
0
0
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
i will NEVER ever say something like that to my children. Things like that stay in their little minds forever.
Even if a parent is mad at a child... they are mad at the ACTIONS of the child, not the child themselves. You have to make them aware of that.
Click to expand...
Wise words...my wife and I are planning on having kids soon, so we've enjoyed a lot of discussions on parenting styles:) There are some things that you just don't do to children, degrading/insulting them resides on that list.

 
slag

slag

Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
10,473
81
101
Originally posted by: MrsBugi
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
not really. My dad kind of over-reacted with a lot of things, but he never really said mean stuff like that. He was the "yeller" my mom was the "peace at all costs" parent. When they were together, they evened each other out... When they got a divorce, it became harder for them to agree on a parenting style because they had joint custody.

i will NEVER ever say something like that to my children. Things like that stay in their little minds forever.
Even if a parent is mad at a child... they are mad at the ACTIONS of the child, not the child themselves. You have to make them aware of that.
Click to expand...

You are going to be such a wonderful parent. :thumbsup: It's sad how few people realize the truth in those words.
Click to expand...

I have kids. Some kids are terrors the second they exit the womb.
Its always their actions and sometimes the kids as well that no degree of parenting will fix until the kid is old enough to realize what they are doing.
 
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