Daycare - A this pisses me off thread by Sho'Nuff, the pasty white shogun of NH

[waggy]

most have this rule.

makes some sense. the idea of them eating what they are given at school is to get them eating new things. Also it the side issue of some kid bringing in name brand and another having fruit or generic.

to be honest i think the op is being slightly childish. this rule was in the paperwork he signed when he put his kids in.


As for the cost? no shock on. fucking daycare is high. Even where i live its $300-400 a week.

 

[AstroManLuca]

I would look for a new daycare.

This, our daycare is chill as fuck, which goes well with our daughter's laid back personality. Actually, I think they have an informal policy of not feeding the kids anything BUT stuff the parents send with them, but they would never let a kid go hungry like that because it's not run by retards.

Also it's not too expensive, which is especially amazing because it's Minnesota which has one of the highest prices of daycare in the country. Every other place we've looked at is an overly expensive stick-up-their-ass place where you have to go on a waiting list and sign up for a very strict schedule and crap like that, but this one is flexible. It's like a community co-op thing where all the parents contribute to improving the daycare. We buy books and toys, assemble new furniture, and one of the parents even made a whole new website for it with online sign up and everything.

 

[sjwaste]

That's crazy the price some of you all are paying for daycare. I'd love to see what kind of profit they are making by charging 1000-1500 a month per kid.

I've seen some of it and it's not what you think. My daughter's is more of a pre-school than a day care. It's organized as a non-profit and the director isn't getting rich. Places like this keep their staff on for 40 hours a week, rather than sending people home when enough kids don't show up. Every classroom has a lead teacher who has a bachelors in education (usually early childhood) or some related degree, plus an assistant who might but isn't required to have one. Plus, they have 4 infant levels, so it's a bit specialized. They pay decent benefits to try and retain, as well as take away from nearby similarly priced for-profits like Bright Horizons. There's a lot of overhead - you need a lot of space and plenty of insurance. Then, they're providing meals and laundry for all of these kids.

You can run these places very profitably, but it involves unskilled hourly staff who are OK being sent home if not enough kids are there. And then maintaining the max ratio the state allows, which is 4 kids to 1 adult for infants in this state. I'd suggest that's a good business plan, but as a parent, I wouldn't put my kid in one.

 

[waggy]

This, our daycare is chill as fuck, which goes well with our daughter's laid back personality. Actually, I think they have an informal policy of not feeding the kids anything BUT stuff the parents send with them, but they would never let a kid go hungry like that because it's not run by retards.

Also it's not too expensive, which is especially amazing because it's Minnesota which has one of the highest prices of daycare in the country. Every other place we've looked at is an overly expensive stick-up-their-ass place where you have to go on a waiting list and sign up for a very strict schedule and crap like that, but this one is flexible. It's like a community co-op thing where all the parents contribute to improving the daycare. We buy books and toys, assemble new furniture, and one of the parents even made a whole new website for it with online sign up and everything.

wouldn't happen to be with a church would it? also billed as a "preschool" type?

we sent both kids to a church sponsored "presschool". we found the church ones were FAR more laid back then the business oriented ones.

 

[SunnyD]

Daycare... lol.

My wife and I did the math at one point. Unless one and their spouse are both highly educated and both pulling in high 6-figure salaries, daycare just isn't worth it.

For the typical American family, we'll go with a number of around 45k/year for wages. Let's go with the OP's number of 30k+/year for daycare. You're netting an additional ~15k for your spouse to work? Sure you get some of that back in taxes... but still. And that will get eaten up by high medical care since daycare kids invariably get sick more often.

If you make more money, GREAT! But then you and your spouse are paying more in taxes too!

Long and the short of it is it's actually more economical and far more beneficial for someone to stay at home with the child until they're old enough to go to school. Sounds wasteful, but it's not.

My wife? She's working again, part time. The rub? She gets to take the little ones to work with her. She works at an indoor kid play place.

 

[Rakehellion]

Cliffs:
-OPs daughter just transitioned to 1-2 year old class at daycare
-Daughter is refusing to eat menu being offered to her - going largely without food while at school (unacceptable as daughter has no weight to lose)
-OP offers to bring in food he knows daughter will eat.
-School refuses, saying that daughter's doctor must approve alternative menu.
-OPs head explodes.

It's a liability thing. While you are the one choosing the meal, they are the ones physically giving it to her. If for some reason she chokes on her strained carrots or you accidentally replace her juice box with Drano, you could still sue the shit out of them.

 

[Uppsala9496]

There are strict dietary guidelines the school/daycare must follow. Annoying to get a doctors note when you the parent feed them breakfast and lunch everyday.
One of the reasons they require it is that some parents may not feed their kid nutritious food. Snack foods all day long is not good for anyone let alone developing bodies.

Hopefully your daughter gets out of the picky food phase quickly. Mine went through it when she was 4 and it was annoying as hell.

- and $15k/year per kid is expensive, but not out of line for daycare costs. I was paying about $14,400 a year for my daughter for the first 4 years of daycare (nw suburbs of chicago). Now that she is in preschool costs are much lower. Kindergarten next year and the cost gets even lower.

 

[sjwaste]

Daycare... lol.

My wife and I did the math at one point. Unless one and their spouse are both highly educated and both pulling in high 6-figure salaries, daycare just isn't worth it.

... snip.

OP and his spouse (as well as myself) are alumni of the Harvard of the South, James Madison University, so it's without question that they are highly educated.

But seriously, there are other factors. Some working moms do it to set a good example for their daughters. Some do it to keep career continuity, since those kids are eventually going to turn 5, head to school all day, and leave them with a lot of free time. Some do it because every dollar above the tuition bill provides additional opportunity for their children.

 

[Brovane]

Is this one of those Day Care places where they have a waiting list of people trying to geth their children in?

The Day Care is a business. I would consider looking elsewhere. However it sounds like the Day Care provides services that you consider are good for your children. Well if people want to play that game of requiring a DR note then go ahead and take your child to the MD. I would also ask the Day Care rep if they have a specific form that needs to be filled out by the DR or just a note would suffice. Take your child to the MD get something from the MD. The MD will probably laugh about the entire thing. Show-up with food and MD note in hand at DayCare. It has been IMHO when dealing with douches like this to just play their silly game and get the forms they are requesting turned in.

 

[Mixolydian]

The choice is that or one of us staying home full time.

I'd do that.

 

[sjwaste]

I'd do that.

Meatloaf wouldn't.

 

[Uppsala9496]

Is this one of those Day Care places where they have a waiting list of people trying to geth their children in?

The Day Care is a business. I would consider looking elsewhere. However it sounds like the Day Care provides services that you consider are good for your children. Well if people want to play that game of requiring a DR note then go ahead and take your child to the MD. I would also ask the Day Care rep if they have a specific form that needs to be filled out by the DR or just a note would suffice. Take your child to the MD get something from the MD. The MD will probably laugh about the entire thing. Show-up with food and MD note in hand at DayCare. It has been IMHO when dealing with douches like this to just play their silly game and get the forms they are requesting turned in.

I'm sure a simple phone call to the doc and the form faxed over will suffice. No need to spend the copay money on a visit.

OP - be prepared to fill out doc forms to allow the school to apply sunscreen to your kid. That I thought was messed up. You would think it would be the opposite - a doc note NOT to apply sunscreen.

 

[dabuddha]

I'll solve your problem for you. Find a new daycare.

My consulting fee is normally $100/hr and I'm billing you 2 hours for this advice.

 

[mvbighead]

Daycare... lol.

My wife and I did the math at one point. Unless one and their spouse are both highly educated and both pulling in high 6-figure salaries, daycare just isn't worth it.

For the typical American family, we'll go with a number of around 45k/year for wages. Let's go with the OP's number of 30k+/year for daycare. You're netting an additional ~15k for your spouse to work? Sure you get some of that back in taxes... but still. And that will get eaten up by high medical care since daycare kids invariably get sick more often.

If you make more money, GREAT! But then you and your spouse are paying more in taxes too!

Long and the short of it is it's actually more economical and far more beneficial for someone to stay at home with the child until they're old enough to go to school. Sounds wasteful, but it's not.

My wife? She's working again, part time. The rub? She gets to take the little ones to work with her. She works at an indoor kid play place.

Small midwest community for the win.

If I went with your 45k figure, and then figured the cost of our daycare at $150/month for an infant which works out to $7800, even if I round that up to $10k, as a family we are still netting a $35k difference. Well worth it, IMO.

As for the comment from someone that if you can't live off of one income while home raising your child, blah blah blah, yeah, right. At this stage, the kid is eating, pooping, sleeping, and maybe playing/learning. I would love to do that stuff all day with them, but I would much rather ensure that we can afford to take them to see things such as the Grand Canyon, Washington DC, Niagra Falls, the coast, etc. etc. Find a good day care with nice people, and allow your child a chance to interact with other children their own age. Allow your wife to interact with adults her own age.

My wife has expressed to me that she would love to stay home, and we've talked before about how possible that is. The long short of it is that it simply makes more sense to have the extra income to be able to provide for the kid. Soccer, hockey, football, tennis, piano lessons, etc. etc. etc. all cost money. Who knows, maybe my kid will be the next Mozart, or the next Peyton Manning. I'd prefer to have some extra money when those times come so they can go and do and learn the things they want to do.

 

[AstroManLuca]

wouldn't happen to be with a church would it? also billed as a "preschool" type?

we sent both kids to a church sponsored "presschool". we found the church ones were FAR more laid back then the business oriented ones.

It's actually in a rec center at a local park. Originally started by our neighborhood, but it went through a change in ownership. It's still a co-op nonprofit though.

Daycare... lol.

My wife and I did the math at one point. Unless one and their spouse are both highly educated and both pulling in high 6-figure salaries, daycare just isn't worth it.

For the typical American family, we'll go with a number of around 45k/year for wages. Let's go with the OP's number of 30k+/year for daycare. You're netting an additional ~15k for your spouse to work? Sure you get some of that back in taxes... but still. And that will get eaten up by high medical care since daycare kids invariably get sick more often.

If you make more money, GREAT! But then you and your spouse are paying more in taxes too!

Long and the short of it is it's actually more economical and far more beneficial for someone to stay at home with the child until they're old enough to go to school. Sounds wasteful, but it's not.

My wife? She's working again, part time. The rub? She gets to take the little ones to work with her. She works at an indoor kid play place.

Depends entirely on the cost. Our daycare is only open for 6 hours a day, so in order for both of us to get in enough hours at work, we have to have one person go to work really early and pick her up, and the other parent has to drop her off and then stay late. It's not the most convenient but it works and it allows us to both keep our jobs. We would never even consider a full time daycare for that type of money - we simply can't afford it since we aren't wealthy. But we've found a place that works for us and allows us to keep our jobs.

And there is something to be said for daycare. Your child ends up being very well-adjusted and gets used to meeting new people and playing with other kids. I suppose if you have one stay at home parent you can take them out to socialize. But I think it's a worthwhile experience.

 

[rasczak]

I would look for a new daycare.

This.

 

[Fausto]

This.

Yep. If you can't come to a solution with the management of this particular daycare, I'd start looking around for one that's more flexible with regard to foods. You are paying for this, so you might as well be happy with what you get in return.

 

[Greenman]

You need to find a different set of strangers to raise your kids.

I used to recommend that children be raised by their mother, but it turns out that's the thinking of an unenlightened sexist caveman. I've evolved since then, so now I recommend hiring random people off the street, or from a craigslist add. It's important that a child spend most of his waking hours with people that really don't give a shit about him, it prepares him for adult life.

 

[Hoober]

How about not having children if you can't look after them?

Putting a 2 year old in child care is despicable.

People are so selfish these days, they want everything. 'I want kids, but I still want to work so I can still buy all the stuff I like'.

What's with all the window lickers lately?

 

[sjwaste]

What's with all the window lickers lately?

Lately?

 

[AstroManLuca]

How about not having children if you can't look after them?

Putting a 2 year old in child care is despicable.

People are so selfish these days, they want everything. 'I want kids, but I still want to work so I can still buy all the stuff I like'.

Onto the ignore list you go!

 

[Vdubchaos]

With our first child we considered Day Care. But after all the research we have done, all the parents we spoke with and cost analysis it just didn't make sense FOR US.

Having my wife stay at home has been the best parenting decision we have EVER made. It was important to both of us to have a parent raise our children and give them extra attention especially when they were young.

Mind you, it took a LOT of sacrifice to do so. No house for YEARS, no new car every 3 years, no going out to eat or extra spending money......no other BS most people think is needed in their life.

I'm glad we stuck to it and it worked out great.

Sure it wasn't easy (very hard) but we wouldn't change a thing if we were to go back. Extra money my wife would've made would've been wasted on Daycare and other useless BS anyways. We have low standards so things like new cars etc mean NOTHING to us.

OP, I would def change daycare!!! Vote with your money

 

[Uppsala9496]

You need to find a different set of strangers to raise your kids.

I used to recommend that children be raised by their mother, but it turns out that's the thinking of an unenlightened sexist caveman. I've evolved since then, so now I recommend hiring random people off the street, or from a craigslist add. It's important that a child spend most of his waking hours with people that really don't give a shit about him, it prepares him for adult life.

you home school your kids too? can't have strangers educating them. they allowed to interact with anyone aside from mom and dad?

 

[Vdubchaos]

you home school your kids too? can't have strangers educating them. they allowed to interact with anyone aside from mom and dad?

Many parents do. And once you find out what our education system is about, you will want to as well.

 

[Legios]

Daycare... lol.

My wife and I did the math at one point. Unless one and their spouse are both highly educated and both pulling in high 6-figure salaries, daycare just isn't worth it.

For the typical American family, we'll go with a number of around 45k/year for wages. Let's go with the OP's number of 30k+/year for daycare. You're netting an additional ~15k for your spouse to work? Sure you get some of that back in taxes... but still. And that will get eaten up by high medical care since daycare kids invariably get sick more often.

If you make more money, GREAT! But then you and your spouse are paying more in taxes too!

Long and the short of it is it's actually more economical and far more beneficial for someone to stay at home with the child until they're old enough to go to school. Sounds wasteful, but it's not.

My wife? She's working again, part time. The rub? She gets to take the little ones to work with her. She works at an indoor kid play place.

You are not taking into account of career opportunities to move up. We scraped by with 2 in daycare at first but years later both our careers have advanced while cost of daycare has dropped with them moving into after school care only. I have dealt with stay at home parents. They are a weird bunch with hours of only kids to talk to.....