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Coming Out Of the Closet

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Originally posted by: Audiophile1980
You know I've gotten a lot of advice.
What happened last night hurt like hell.
I think it was necessary though. I've been dying to be myself for 24 years. Now that I'm out I won't wait one more day.
That's who I am and that's the way that I act. If they can't deal with it and expect me to act differently around them, I simply won't be around them. Of course, I understand it will take them time, which I will give...but if they can't deal with the outted me, I can't be with them.
I won't act the way they want me to for one more day.
Click to expand...

don't "act" . . ..

. .. . just "be"

😉

(and i guess it's off to the gay bars and clubs you go) 😀
(couldn't resist, either)
:roll:
 
Originally posted by: Audiophile1980
This post clearly has a different tone than the others...
I only have just the one guy friend. The rest are all women.
Now, he is a homophobe and indeed he may have a similar reaction to the one you had.
I'm not sure that I would call what I've been doing 'lying.'
It's a very complicated thing. But you know, before coming out (and with this guy that's still now I guess) I would never let him change or anything like that in front of me.
I can't personally imagine being angry with someone about that. Honestly, it's a LOT harder day to day for the person in the closet than those being deceived. It's more like lying to yourself than others. I would hope that he would understand this rather than seeing it your way.
Time will tell.
Click to expand...

while coming out is about you, i think you do need to try to empathize with your friend's feelings.

i think there's a difference between a homophobe and just someone who's confused because their close friend dropped a bombshell on him.

don't be quick to discount him or isoloate yourself from him. i think you should tell him that you want to give him time to absorb everything and that you'll be there to talk when he's ready.

otherwise, good luck with everything 😀

 
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he's the skinny dude with the glasses (and red eyes) since he's in most of the pics that weren't 'for the straight crowd.'
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Yeah...I don't have my glasses on in all pics though. I'm wearing the blue shirt from 'bluenotes jeanswear' in most of the pics but also the black UoG t-shirt in the others.

Also, that girl is NOT a lesbian...
sorry guys.
 
OK, there is some hotness going on with those chicks. How is it again that you don't want to nail them?
 
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: iamme
ok, am i the only one who saw the first pic of the girl and thought she was the lesbian? :evil:
Click to expand...

I did for a second.

She's hot! 😛
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Yea me too, i thought this was a "lesbian coming out of the closet" thread. And was thinking to myself, cool this is just what this forum needs to fill the gap.

Anyway, i digress. Sorry you hurt, but you did what your heart was telling you to do. Done live a lie, be who you are. If your friends are giving you the cold shoulder now, then they were never your friends.
 
:thumbsup:

They're not being very supportive... but that's their perogative you must realize.

Whatever the circumstances, you haven't been (been able) to be honest about who you are to them... you've always known who you are but THEY NEVER HAVE...

You're basically a completely new person to them and they have to adapt to this new friend they've just discovered...

Capische?

I assure you it will sort itself out, try not to lose your perspective and endeavor to obtain objectivity about this... There have been a LOT of people who've been through a MUCH WORSE coming out than you, I can assure you.

Cheers!

I'm happy you can now BE who you always WERE. That's an honorable achievement and I'm proud of you, even though I don't know you 🙂
 
 
Originally posted by: thelanx
I think notfred was the one I read about coming out, not sure tho. (My apologies notfred if it wasn't you) Give it time, and there definitely are a lot of accepting people out there. I know a couple people here at school who are gay and although I can't really know their viewpoint, they seem pretty happy and accepted. Granted it's really liberal here in Boston and at college, but keep ya hopes up. There's nothing wrong with you, it's the haters and unaccepting ppl who need help. I'm sure as time goes by you will find more and more ppl who accept you for who you are.
Click to expand...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

It's not notfred...
 
Originally posted by: JDub02
OK, there is some hotness going on with those chicks. How is it again that you don't want to nail them?
Click to expand...

Maybe his plan is to tell them he's gay so that they'll try and "convert" him and it'll miraculously work. 😀
 
Originally posted by: Shelly21
Originally posted by: thelanx
I think notfred was the one I read about coming out, not sure tho. (My apologies notfred if it wasn't you) Give it time, and there definitely are a lot of accepting people out there. I know a couple people here at school who are gay and although I can't really know their viewpoint, they seem pretty happy and accepted. Granted it's really liberal here in Boston and at college, but keep ya hopes up. There's nothing wrong with you, it's the haters and unaccepting ppl who need help. I'm sure as time goes by you will find more and more ppl who accept you for who you are.
Click to expand...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

It's not notfred...
Click to expand...

Does that mean it's Fred? 😕
 
Originally posted by: Audiophile1980
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he's the skinny dude with the glasses (and red eyes) since he's in most of the pics that weren't 'for the straight crowd.'
Click to expand...

Yeah...I don't have my glasses on in all pics though. I'm wearing the blue shirt from 'bluenotes jeanswear' in most of the pics but also the black UoG t-shirt in the others.

Also, that girl is NOT a lesbian...
sorry guys.
Click to expand...

Wow, you are a good looking guy. REOW!
😉
 
I got 2 gay kids in my fraternity. Well actually one now. 2 graduated last year, but they were the funniest kids. Just a little gay at times.
 
Originally posted by: isasir
Originally posted by: JDub02
OK, there is some hotness going on with those chicks. How is it again that you don't want to nail them?
Click to expand...

Maybe his plan is to tell them he's gay so that they'll try and "convert" him and it'll miraculously work. 😀
Click to expand...

I had a friend in college that did that. It wasn't exactly his fault, though. The guys he shared a house with would tell all the women at parties that he was gay.

It didn't help that he was the only one out of the 6 or so that didn't play football.

Ahh .. college .. good times.
 
lol whats up with the chick in the blue shirt in pic 02 ... let her know you are supposed to wear a strapless bra with a shirt like that haha.

and on subject, good luck dude, i am straight but i am sure that was a hard thing to do. time always heals things, so you will be aight in the long run.
 
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