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Children or no?

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Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
Reading this thread, i got to thinking... I feel bad because i feel i am still too selfish to have children.
Those that have kids, did that feeling stop as soon as you found your wife was pregnant? when the baby was delivered? or did it ever go away?
🙁
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Never really had the feeling to begin with... you've already decided to share your life with one person, when you have kids that's that many more people to share your life with.
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Ditto.

Although I'm not sure how selfishness and wanting to have kids contradict each other. For some people, having kids is an act of selfishness. You'd need to specify what it is you're afraid of giving up.....vegging infront of the TV every night?.....spending all your money on designer clothes?
 
Not an option (wife has serious health issues), and I'm fine with it. Partly because I don't have/don't want to make the time/money to properly raise a child and partly because it's too damn sick a world we live in. I enjoy playing around with my neices and nephews, but I also enjoy being able to pick up and go/do whatever I want.
 
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
Reading this thread, i got to thinking... I feel bad because i feel i am still too selfish to have children.
Those that have kids, did that feeling stop as soon as you found your wife was pregnant? when the baby was delivered? or did it ever go away?
🙁
Click to expand...

My wife and I were together for 6yrs before our son was born, and we both occasionally felt a little selfish and really really scared to death of the responsibility, and wondered if we were parent material. For me that didn't change until the first time I saw him in the delivery room the night he was born. That instant I knew it was meant to be and everything would work out fine🙂
Did it change our lives 180 degrees? "HELL YES" Has it been tough financially and emotionally? "HELL YES" Would I trade one second of it? "HELL NO" There is something about having a child that just can't be explained, and you can't prepare for it.
 
I have a daughter, she will turn 11 next month. I was able to stay at home, work, and raise her. No regrets.

She is a bright, very intelligent girl, goes to a Montessori school, smart, very cute, funny, compassionate, plays the piano, has one blue eye, one brown! Well mannered, I have people tell me how well mannered she is. I feel damn lucky to have her as my daughter. Kids today, she's a gem.
🙂
 
Originally posted by: jread

I have a feeling this is going to become quite an issue in the future...

...I guess I can't say that I'll never want them but I don't like the idea right now (or anytime soon). We barely get by financially and I feel like we wouldn't be able to support a child if we had one. I also am selfish and have way too much that *I* want to do first.

I guess if we did have one then it would just be *one*. Also, as sad as this is, I worry about if I have a special needs child (it can happen to anyone). I honestly don't think I have what it takes to handle that.
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I don't see a future for you two. At least not a rosy one if you stick together. I appreciate your frankness, and hope your ex-fiancee does too.
 
Originally posted by: jread
Who has children? Who is planning on having children? Who is not planning on children? What are your reasons for or against having them?

I personally do not want children but my fiancee does. I have a feeling this is going to become quite an issue in the future.
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I hope you have a good lawyer.
 
Originally posted by: jread
Who has children? Who is planning on having children? Who is not planning on children? What are your reasons for or against having them?

I personally do not want children but my fiancee does. I have a feeling this is going to become quite an issue in the future.
Click to expand...
you should settle that issue before you get married.
 
Originally posted by: jread
I personally do not want children but my fiancee does. I have a feeling this is going to become quite an issue in the future.
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So you'll be having kids then.

<-- Three boys, and my wife still wants to try for a girl!
 
Have kids before you get too old and the other parents at the children's playground stare at you, wondering "Is he the kid's dad? the grand-dad? grand-dad's grand-dad?"
 
I don't want kids and will not marry a woman intent on having them. I'm an awesome uncle, though.

edit: Also, settle the kids issue before marrying her. She will get pregnant; the question is will you accept it with grace or resent her and the kid for it.
 
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: jread
Who has children? Who is planning on having children? Who is not planning on children? What are your reasons for or against having them?

I personally do not want children but my fiancee does. I have a feeling this is going to become quite an issue in the future.
Click to expand...
you should settle that issue before you get married.
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PRENUP PRENUP PRENUP PRENUP PRENUP PRENUP PRENUP PRENUP PRENUP PRENUP PRENUP
 
Have 3 girls ages 6,7,9 with another on the way 😀

Had my first one just before my 19th birthday

Didn't want to be the old parent that I saw alot of my friends/relitives with

And yes all of them live with me 😀


Wouldn't have done a thing differently either if given the option
It's tough but there worth it
 
I have a daughter 8 years old and a son 3 years old.

Super duper fun when they are being good and minding.

Complete opposite when they want to be.

I am 36 years young, but they are working on that. 😉
 
Pros: Kids help you stay young through play. They give you an excuse to wear T-shirts, jeans and sneakers and play video games. You get to re-discover thing through their eyes.

Cons: Remember how much of a little sh!t you were growing up; multiply that by two. They are expensive.
 
I have 2 girls, 12 & 6 (6 yr old in sig)

My wife and I discussed it before we got engaged, we thought it was important to go into the marriage knowing where each of us stood on the major issues. I would have more if we weren't getting too old!
 
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