That doesn't sound like a big deal at all. She was drunk AND able to realize that it was wrong at the same time. I don't really comprehend how that constitutes cheating. I mean, she stopped the guy after HE kissed her and then called you and told you right away! You should be so lucky. $hit happens and it sounds like it was definitely not intentional. As I was reading your post I was expecting you to say she had slept with someone or at the very least engaged in something willingly. It almost seemed like a happy ending after that setup.
Anyways, good luck dealing with it. I can only hope you put things into perspective.
Anyways, good luck dealing with it. I can only hope you put things into perspective.
Sorry to be the "jackass", but how do we know all facts in the story are true. For all I know you could be pulling our legs, being that you're a 10-year old with nothing better to do than bother some people online because you have no friends.
But if you are telling the story how it supposedly is, how do we know you're telling us everything. You could leave out a few details here and there that would sway our judgement on the matter, yet we wouldn't know. To clear things up, why don't you tell us how you rectified the matter. Maybe then will I believe your story is totally truthful and not some piece of sh*t story you concocted to entertain yourself.
Thanks!
But if you are telling the story how it supposedly is, how do we know you're telling us everything. You could leave out a few details here and there that would sway our judgement on the matter, yet we wouldn't know. To clear things up, why don't you tell us how you rectified the matter. Maybe then will I believe your story is totally truthful and not some piece of sh*t story you concocted to entertain yourself.
Thanks!
It sounds like she pushed him away so its just a meaningles kiss. And more importantly she called you right after it happened which shows she cares a great deal for you. Definately giver her another chance
Am I the only one who thinks 2 or 3 seconds is a long time to not realize what was going on?... And exactly how intimate were they up to this point?... There's a little missing from this story... I think she's forgiveable... but damn!... I'd be pissssssed.
-Max
-Max
Gooberlx2
Lifer
- May 4, 2001
- 15,381
- 6
- 91
Yeah this isn't cheating by any sense. Sorry if anyone disagrees. First, she was drunk, and tried to push him off anyway. Eventually she did, even after one or two kisses based on your story. So what? She was drunk, and yet still managed to get him off 'cause she was thinking of you. A kiss means nothing, especially when under the influence. She I'd say you're safe in this boat,
Secondly, I don't think she cheated on her previous boyfriend either. Sorry, but it was only going 1 month and all she did was kiss you. (again, based on your story, unless you're leaving something out ). She then proceeds to break up wuth her old boyfriend, who (if you go by my standards) isn't really a boyfriend, as opposed to some guy she's dating. In college people are going to keep their eyes open (especially ladies) 'cause that's the prime time to look for a spouse. I believe the conception is that it get harder to gets dates, go out, find a relationship after college. So, in her eyes, you were the better choice, and since she had only been with that guy for 1 month, he wasn't hard to toss aside.
as ar as high school goes, everyone is stupid, guys and girls. I'd say the average length of a relationship in my high school was about 1 month, at the absolute maximum. (I on the other hand went for 2.5 years, regrettably)
Cheating doesn't necessarily have to involve sex. But in my experience and observations, it most often does.
I don't think you have something to worry about. Be happy
Secondly, I don't think she cheated on her previous boyfriend either. Sorry, but it was only going 1 month and all she did was kiss you. (again, based on your story, unless you're leaving something out
). She then proceeds to break up wuth her old boyfriend, who (if you go by my standards) isn't really a boyfriend, as opposed to some guy she's dating. In college people are going to keep their eyes open (especially ladies) 'cause that's the prime time to look for a spouse. I believe the conception is that it get harder to gets dates, go out, find a relationship after college. So, in her eyes, you were the better choice, and since she had only been with that guy for 1 month, he wasn't hard to toss aside. as ar as high school goes, everyone is stupid, guys and girls. I'd say the average length of a relationship in my high school was about 1 month, at the absolute maximum. (I on the other hand went for 2.5 years, regrettably)
Cheating doesn't necessarily have to involve sex. But in my experience and observations, it most often does.
I don't think you have something to worry about. Be happy
Alright, I've decided to do the following. I'm going to write up what I did to handle this situation. If anyone would like to hear it, drop me a PM and I'll send it to you.
I'm definately NOT going to post it to the thread until more people have a chance to read what I've written. But after some time (maybe tonight, or tomorrow at work) I'll post what I PM'ed to people to this thread.
I thank each and every one of you for your responses so far. They have all been insightful.
-Shy
I'm definately NOT going to post it to the thread until more people have a chance to read what I've written. But after some time (maybe tonight, or tomorrow at work) I'll post what I PM'ed to people to this thread.
I thank each and every one of you for your responses so far. They have all been insightful.
-Shy
If I were you I would have stayed, but only because of the way your post is written. She seems very apologetic, and told you immediately. Your story is well written and calm, so I think you probably stayed with her.
What would I do if Psycho did that? Dump him. Because he knows where to stop when drinking so he doesn't lose control.
What would I do if Psycho did that? Dump him. Because he knows where to stop when drinking so he doesn't lose control.
This happened to me...girl for 4 and a half years..
she was drunk...a guy kissed her, she told me right away.
I think it is in your best interest to forgive her. I trust my girl-she would never try to hurt me like that. This girl sounds too much like that to let her go.
i say stay with her, forgive her, and WHOOP SOME SILLY A$$!!!!
sig.
she was drunk...a guy kissed her, she told me right away.
I think it is in your best interest to forgive her. I trust my girl-she would never try to hurt me like that. This girl sounds too much like that to let her go.
i say stay with her, forgive her, and WHOOP SOME SILLY A$$!!!!
sig.
I'd have told her how much it hurt me, told her she was never to let herself get into a fix like that again (sheesh, drunk that badly in the woods alone with a guy - dangerous!) - i.e. only to drink with girlfriends or me, thanked her for being honest, and then tried to continue with the relationship.
dude she was drunk and defended herself she obviously doens't want to cheat on you
thank god for that, someon needs to kick that surfers guys ass for persistenting after she said no.
thank god for that, someon needs to kick that surfers guys ass for persistenting after she said no.
The late night walk in the woods thing was not very smart, she is lucky something much much worse did not happen.
Other then that she did nothing wrong and there is no reason to do anything, (big assumption here that you are getting all the facts.)
Other then that she did nothing wrong and there is no reason to do anything, (big assumption here that you are getting all the facts.)
from what you tell, she is a slutty party girl, and will no doubt take some bone that isn't yours sooner or later.
I would drop her.
I would drop her.
Tough decision. I don't think what she did was cheating really, but I would think about this s little more. She cheated before, on more than one occasion. She seems to have a problem keeping out of these type of situations.
She dodged the bullet this time, but what about the next? If she does it again, to quote the famous relationship counselor Jerry Springer, "Kick her to da curb."
She dodged the bullet this time, but what about the next? If she does it again, to quote the famous relationship counselor Jerry Springer, "Kick her to da curb."
Few points from your story...
-became quite intoxicated
-got to talking with a male staffer. Apparently they stayed up fairly late talking
-wandering around the woods
-she was stumbling
-off the path to a large rock to sit down
Drinking, wandering around, in the woods, all night talking on a rock.
Sounds romantic i bet it was.
-became quite intoxicated
-got to talking with a male staffer. Apparently they stayed up fairly late talking
-wandering around the woods
-she was stumbling
-off the path to a large rock to sit down
Drinking, wandering around, in the woods, all night talking on a rock.
Sounds romantic i bet it was.
hmm, this situation is very tricky. on the one hand, she immediately told you after it happened and does seem very remorseful. obviously when she cheated on her last ex with you she immediately broke it off with him which shows she at least tries to be truthful. but on the other hand, it's weird that she even got into that situation in the first place. i know plenty of people who are going out with somebody and they never manage to accidentally get kissed by some guy. know what i mean? if you really want to be faithful, it's possible. so the kiss is partly her fault i believe. first off for getting so drunk that she couldn't control the situation and the fact that she was alone with some guy in the woods. kinda weird if u think about it. and obviously the guy thought she was sending some kind of signal if he was willing to attempt to kiss her. and obviously he wasn't trying to take advantage of her because he did stop when she told him that she didn't want to kiss him and that she had a boyfriend.
the real question is how do you really know what happened out there? what if she did more than what she said? granted she felt bad after, but if she didn't want to get in trouble with you yet still tell u some what of the truth, her story works. but in the end, it's definitely hard to trust somebody after something like that happens, and trust is definitely one of the most important things in a relationship. if you think you can trust her again then i definitely think it's worth trying it again.
the real question is how do you really know what happened out there? what if she did more than what she said? granted she felt bad after, but if she didn't want to get in trouble with you yet still tell u some what of the truth, her story works. but in the end, it's definitely hard to trust somebody after something like that happens, and trust is definitely one of the most important things in a relationship. if you think you can trust her again then i definitely think it's worth trying it again.
- Oct 28, 1999
- 62,484
- 8,345
- 126
The classic case of "it's the girls fault". Man I love how women always get stuck with the blame in cases of rape and drunken advances.
Assuming that everything went as you told us, then I don't see anything remotely close to cheating. She resisted not one, but two advances. In an inebriated state, with her history, I say you should be DAMN PROUD of her.
The only problem that I see here is that she needs to gain some sort of control with her alcohol consumption. If there is anything to get your panties in a bunch over here, it's the fact that she really needs to either not drink, or else learn some sort of self control. It almost did, and most very likely will land her in a situation will regret for the rest of her life.
Assuming that everything went as you told us, then I don't see anything remotely close to cheating. She resisted not one, but two advances. In an inebriated state, with her history, I say you should be DAMN PROUD of her.
The only problem that I see here is that she needs to gain some sort of control with her alcohol consumption. If there is anything to get your panties in a bunch over here, it's the fact that she really needs to either not drink, or else learn some sort of self control. It almost did, and most very likely will land her in a situation will regret for the rest of her life.
Drop her lack a sack of potato's. She cheated, plain and simple so let her go. Even though she did tell you about it, I'm certain her version of the story isn't quite 100% correct.
Let her go have her fun and go start dating yourself. Once she sees you seeing other women, she'll know what she did was wrong and maybe she'll come back. If she doesn't, obviously she didn't really mean "sorry" now did she? Either way, she's bad news and you shouldn't stick with bad news.
vash
Let her go have her fun and go start dating yourself. Once she sees you seeing other women, she'll know what she did was wrong and maybe she'll come back. If she doesn't, obviously she didn't really mean "sorry" now did she? Either way, she's bad news and you shouldn't stick with bad news.
vash
ask yourself this question, is this the girl or the kind of girl that have always imagined would be the mother of your children? This chick who goes and gets drunk and goes wandering off with some guy? Is that who you want your kid's mom to be?
- Oct 28, 1999
- 62,484
- 8,345
- 126
Speaking from experience, I can say that if a person loves you enough, they CAN change and help themselves.
I used to have a terrible problem with hard alcohol. I had no self control over the amount that I would consume and would wind up drunk as a skunk. There was a final incident that visgf and I both now refer to as "The Long Island Night" where if I had not puked, I probably would have either wound up in a hospital, or worse, dead.
I ruined an entire bed set, redecorated a wall, and stained some new, white carpet. That was probably the single most stressful point in our two and a half years together. I seriously thought she was done with me.
From that point on, I made a promise to her, as well as myself that I would NEVER be in that situation again. 1.5 years later, I have not had a single mixed drink or a shot of hard alcohol.
One's commitment level to a goal is directly proportional to the commitment level twords their loved one. visgf was far more important to me than any mixed drink or shot.
I truely feel sorry for anyone who does not have a significant other that they aren't willing to make a similar sacrifice for.
I used to have a terrible problem with hard alcohol. I had no self control over the amount that I would consume and would wind up drunk as a skunk. There was a final incident that visgf and I both now refer to as "The Long Island Night" where if I had not puked, I probably would have either wound up in a hospital, or worse, dead.
I ruined an entire bed set, redecorated a wall, and stained some new, white carpet. That was probably the single most stressful point in our two and a half years together. I seriously thought she was done with me.
From that point on, I made a promise to her, as well as myself that I would NEVER be in that situation again. 1.5 years later, I have not had a single mixed drink or a shot of hard alcohol.
One's commitment level to a goal is directly proportional to the commitment level twords their loved one. visgf was far more important to me than any mixed drink or shot.
I truely feel sorry for anyone who does not have a significant other that they aren't willing to make a similar sacrifice for.
<< I truely feel sorry for anyone who does not have a significant other that they aren't willing to make a similar sacrifice for. >>
Hey, gimme a break man, I haven't met that girl yet.
ask yourself this question, is this the girl or the kind of girl that have always imagined would be the mother of your children? This chick who goes and gets drunk and goes wandering off with some guy? Is that who you want your kid's mom to be?
I think this a little harsh. I mean they are only in college, you are supposed to have FUN. I dont think either of them are close to marriage, although I do feel it was a mistake to get herself into that situation there are 3 things that would have to consider if I was going to forgive her. First is she telling you the truth. Do you trust her after this has happened? And third is she really worth it to you?
I think this a little harsh. I mean they are only in college, you are supposed to have FUN. I dont think either of them are close to marriage, although I do feel it was a mistake to get herself into that situation there are 3 things that would have to consider if I was going to forgive her. First is she telling you the truth. Do you trust her after this has happened? And third is she really worth it to you?
- Oct 28, 1999
- 62,484
- 8,345
- 126
Urinal Mint, it goes both ways. She had a fairly colorful history and had her share of things that she was shameful of before she met me. She has made a very similar sacrifice as mine. Together we have grown to be much better people than what we once were.
I see this as a time to strengthen a relationship, not weaken it.
I see this as a time to strengthen a relationship, not weaken it.
<< Urinal Mint, it goes both ways. She had a fairly colorful history and had her share of things that she was shameful of before she met me. She has made a very similar sacrifice as mine. Together we have grown to be much better people than what we once were.
I see this as a time to strengthen a relationship, not weaken it. >>
Agreed, but you realize a lot of people like taking the easy way out... and in some cases, that might be for the better.
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 25K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes + WCL Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 24K
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 23K
-
-
Facebook
Twitter