<< sounds like a group of adolesents, that dont really know about relationships. >>
Better than a bunch of fruity patrolmen popping towels on eachother's asses back at the station.
sounds like a group of adolesents, that dont really know about relationships.
sounds like the 5-0 has nothing better to do than reading 50+ posts about an adolescent relationship.
sounds like the 5-0 has nothing better to do than reading 50+ posts about an adolescent relationship.
I guess I'm going to be the lone woman who thinks your g/f did something wrong. (edit - I'm wrong, weezergirl had some of the same thoughts I did)
Maybe I'm just old, but if you:
a. can't handle your alcohol and you still
b. get drunk, you should never
c. go off with some guy when you've got
d. a boyfriend who's worried about your fidelity and you definitely shouldn't
e. put yourself in a position to be kissed by some guy you
f. don't even know and then
g. call your b/f and give him a story about how you were so drunk and this meanie guy took advantage of you.
I am not saying that being drunk and foolish is an excuse for sexual assault, if that's really what happened. No is no and however you get drunk, you still have a right to not be touched or kissed against your will or wishes. But what I got from your description of what happened was that she was giving you excuses about what she did rather than being upset by what this guy did. She handed you the "I was drunk," the "he started it," the "I tried to tell him about you," the "It was only one kiss," and the "But it's you I really love" excuses. She was pretty good about covering her butt.
That said...a kiss is not cheating, but what disturbs me is that she couldn't just come out and say, "I did a bad thing - I kissed another guy because I was lonely, but I promise you I'll never do it again." She said, "I didn't really do anything wrong because none of it was my fault and even if it was, I was drunk anyway." I'm glad she told you about it (how likely was it that you'd hear about it from someone else?), glad that you talked to her and feel okay in your relationship now.
There are ways to cheat that have nothing to do with intercourse, by the way. For all those who say, "it's just a kiss, not really cheating," would you want your wife or g/f to go off kissing other guys or talking to them about your sex life or confiding really personal things to when you're not around? I'm not talking about guy friends, I'm talking about guys who are interested in having sex with her. Can you imagine your g/f getting drunk every weekend and going off into the dark, romantic woods with some guy and kissing him? No sex, but if she makes a habit out of it, how many times does she have to do it before you consider it cheating?
I hope everything continues to go smoothly and she learned a little something about being irresponsible when she drinks. If her judgment is impaired when she's had a few, then she needs to make sure she's not in a position to make this kind of decision again when she's drinking unless she wants a repeat performance.
Good luck.
Maybe I'm just old, but if you:
a. can't handle your alcohol and you still
b. get drunk, you should never
c. go off with some guy when you've got
d. a boyfriend who's worried about your fidelity and you definitely shouldn't
e. put yourself in a position to be kissed by some guy you
f. don't even know and then
g. call your b/f and give him a story about how you were so drunk and this meanie guy took advantage of you.
I am not saying that being drunk and foolish is an excuse for sexual assault, if that's really what happened. No is no and however you get drunk, you still have a right to not be touched or kissed against your will or wishes. But what I got from your description of what happened was that she was giving you excuses about what she did rather than being upset by what this guy did. She handed you the "I was drunk," the "he started it," the "I tried to tell him about you," the "It was only one kiss," and the "But it's you I really love" excuses. She was pretty good about covering her butt.
That said...a kiss is not cheating, but what disturbs me is that she couldn't just come out and say, "I did a bad thing - I kissed another guy because I was lonely, but I promise you I'll never do it again." She said, "I didn't really do anything wrong because none of it was my fault and even if it was, I was drunk anyway." I'm glad she told you about it (how likely was it that you'd hear about it from someone else?), glad that you talked to her and feel okay in your relationship now.
There are ways to cheat that have nothing to do with intercourse, by the way. For all those who say, "it's just a kiss, not really cheating," would you want your wife or g/f to go off kissing other guys or talking to them about your sex life or confiding really personal things to when you're not around? I'm not talking about guy friends, I'm talking about guys who are interested in having sex with her. Can you imagine your g/f getting drunk every weekend and going off into the dark, romantic woods with some guy and kissing him? No sex, but if she makes a habit out of it, how many times does she have to do it before you consider it cheating?
I hope everything continues to go smoothly and she learned a little something about being irresponsible when she drinks. If her judgment is impaired when she's had a few, then she needs to make sure she's not in a position to make this kind of decision again when she's drinking unless she wants a repeat performance.
Good luck.
<< Hey, Shayon, you got pic of your girliefriend? That could make the difference....if she hot, I mean super hot, that might be reason to stick around...nice pic of you on you Mp3.com site... >>
I knew as soon as I read that you knew my real name that you checked out that site.
I had a feeling that, eventually, someone was gonna check it out and say, "Hey, look at the skinny indian kid. It sure is funny that I thought he could kick that guy's a$$!"
And do I have a pic of her? Yeah, but I really don't see what business it is of yours
In all seriousness, I have a few back home. I'm taking a little vacation for the weekend, but when I get back home on Monday, maybe I'll scan her for you perverts.
-Shy
You made a good choice, Shy.
One of the things people don't realize is that life has a way of presenting us with situations that we swore we would never do... and the more we judge people, the more likely we are going to end up being judged. There's some old saying about 'walking a mile in a person's shoes' and what I think it means is that you never really know what you would do in a certain situation until you have been in that situation yourself!
Shy, one day you may be presented with the opportunity to kiss someone who is not your significant other, and you may or may not pass that test with flying colors. What you hopefully will have is a mate who understands that sometimes things happen and it's really the big picture you have to look at, not the isolated incidents. If the big picture is ultimately good, it is best to forgive the flaws. Mistakes are made by all of us at some time or another.
Best wishes to you both~
One of the things people don't realize is that life has a way of presenting us with situations that we swore we would never do... and the more we judge people, the more likely we are going to end up being judged. There's some old saying about 'walking a mile in a person's shoes' and what I think it means is that you never really know what you would do in a certain situation until you have been in that situation yourself!
Shy, one day you may be presented with the opportunity to kiss someone who is not your significant other, and you may or may not pass that test with flying colors. What you hopefully will have is a mate who understands that sometimes things happen and it's really the big picture you have to look at, not the isolated incidents. If the big picture is ultimately good, it is best to forgive the flaws. Mistakes are made by all of us at some time or another.
Best wishes to you both~
<< how likely was it that you'd hear about it from someone else? >>
If she had not told me, I absolutely would NEVER have found out. I do not know a single person there, and additionally, nobody else was around when it happened.
She has very few friends there, and the only person she's even mentioned it to was a co-worker who asked why she wasn't eating.
You post gave me a lot to think about, ChrichtonsGirl. Much appreciated.
<< "Cuz...I'm a big Hawaiian kid...I'll go kick his @ss for you...hehe....hey, then you could pay me with your $3.05 in earning... >>
I was about to say, "Hey, I've only made $3.04 but I just noticed... I made a penny yesterday! Woohoo!
-Shy
<< But I did make an ultimatum. She once again promised me that this would not happen. I believed her the first time, and I do believe her now, but I have made it known that if this ever happens again, thats it. I will absolutely break up with her and not look back. It was hard enough to deal with this once, and I refuse to have to deal with it again. >>
That should scare her into being faithful.
LMAO
<< pics? >>
I do recall saying, "wait until monday and then MAYBE, you perverts"
did I not say that?
am i hallucinating?
-Shy
<< LOL!
thats you in the picture?!
damn! lol!
is she indian too? >>
nope, she's a beautiful, white, jewish girl.
and although I'm not sure what you meant by "damn! lol!" I'll take it as a compliment
-Shy
See, this is what happens when people dont take my (much debated) advice. Some of you love to slam on me for being "so mean" yet, I, and people who think like me, dont find themselves in this situation.
<< That night, while on the phone with her, I told her I wouldn't break up with her >>
I am sure she felt relieved. Its good to let her know she can get drunk and fool around with a guy in
the woods, its her right after all.
<< and lapsed into a depression I hadn't felt since Junior High. >>
yup. Typical.
<< but I contemplated driving my car off the road while driving home from work. >>
good thinking. This is so ridicoulous, its not even funny.
<< That night when she called, I had nothing to say. I had thought about it the whole day long, but I couldn't come up with anything. >>
How about "goodbye"?
<< And then I broke down and started to cry. >>
I wont even comment on this.
<< Sure, it was irresponsible of her to drink and end up out in the woods with this guy. >>
God, that just sounds great, doesnt it?
<< I realized that hardly anything had happened at all. >>
Rationalize it to yourself, if it makes you feel better.
<< she tore my heart out when she told me >>
Yet you learned Nothing from the experience.
<< And of course, she certainly could have tried harder to avoid his advances. >>
If she cared about you, I'm sure she would have.
<< So what now? Well, things between us are certainly getting better. >>
For her. She is not the hurt one here. I am sure she feels great that she can get away
with anything as far as you were concerned, she doesnt need to drive her car off a cliff.
<< A lot of people suggest that I beat this guy up. >>
Why? he was just taking advantage of a good situation.
<< So we're still happily together. >>
Well, at least she's happy.
What I am trying to say is, get a backbone! stand up for yourselves!! This is so simple, I cant even explain it.. its just nuts. People like you dont listen to people like me, because females have clouded your judgement, and made you think that this sort of stuff is ok, and you should put up with it, and you are a better man if lay down and take it. They tell you people like me are jerks, and on and on, (the usual list) and that they will like you more if you are a floormat, and you end up in a position like this, where the female gets to fool around on you, and you end up suicidal, HOW IS THAT A GOOD THING??? Men like me have a backbone, and the girls we date dont have the guts to do stuff like this because they know we will leave them. Bottom Line. Before the flames start, I am not talking about the bang em and leave em theory, I am talking about Standing up for yourself. The women guys like us date know thier bounds, and know that they will lose us, and that influences their decision making process. With guys like you, they know they can pull it off, and you will still stick around, they just have to shed some tears, and look sad, and you wont mention it again. Its pathetic.
>>>Zips up flame suit, because groups of people will claim I am wrong<<<
<< That night, while on the phone with her, I told her I wouldn't break up with her >>
I am sure she felt relieved. Its good to let her know she can get drunk and fool around with a guy in
the woods, its her right after all.
<< and lapsed into a depression I hadn't felt since Junior High. >>
yup. Typical.
<< but I contemplated driving my car off the road while driving home from work. >>
good thinking. This is so ridicoulous, its not even funny.
<< That night when she called, I had nothing to say. I had thought about it the whole day long, but I couldn't come up with anything. >>
How about "goodbye"?
<< And then I broke down and started to cry. >>
I wont even comment on this.
<< Sure, it was irresponsible of her to drink and end up out in the woods with this guy. >>
God, that just sounds great, doesnt it?
<< I realized that hardly anything had happened at all. >>
Rationalize it to yourself, if it makes you feel better.
<< she tore my heart out when she told me >>
Yet you learned Nothing from the experience.
<< And of course, she certainly could have tried harder to avoid his advances. >>
If she cared about you, I'm sure she would have.
<< So what now? Well, things between us are certainly getting better. >>
For her. She is not the hurt one here. I am sure she feels great that she can get away
with anything as far as you were concerned, she doesnt need to drive her car off a cliff.
<< A lot of people suggest that I beat this guy up. >>
Why? he was just taking advantage of a good situation.
<< So we're still happily together. >>
Well, at least she's happy.
What I am trying to say is, get a backbone! stand up for yourselves!! This is so simple, I cant even explain it.. its just nuts. People like you dont listen to people like me, because females have clouded your judgement, and made you think that this sort of stuff is ok, and you should put up with it, and you are a better man if lay down and take it. They tell you people like me are jerks, and on and on, (the usual list) and that they will like you more if you are a floormat, and you end up in a position like this, where the female gets to fool around on you, and you end up suicidal, HOW IS THAT A GOOD THING??? Men like me have a backbone, and the girls we date dont have the guts to do stuff like this because they know we will leave them. Bottom Line. Before the flames start, I am not talking about the bang em and leave em theory, I am talking about Standing up for yourself. The women guys like us date know thier bounds, and know that they will lose us, and that influences their decision making process. With guys like you, they know they can pull it off, and you will still stick around, they just have to shed some tears, and look sad, and you wont mention it again. Its pathetic.
>>>Zips up flame suit, because groups of people will claim I am wrong<<<
Unixfreak,
I am ashamed to admit that I read some of your post. Not all of it, of course, but enough to get the gist of what you were saying.
When you write these things, does it fully compensate for your severe feelings of inadequacy? Or do you still walk away feeling empty and inferior, no matter how much machismo you put into your posts?
Just curious.
I am ashamed to admit that I read some of your post. Not all of it, of course, but enough to get the gist of what you were saying.
When you write these things, does it fully compensate for your severe feelings of inadequacy? Or do you still walk away feeling empty and inferior, no matter how much machismo you put into your posts?
Just curious.
<< >>>Zips up flame suit, because groups of people will claim I am wrong<<< >>
Well if anyone wants to do the flaming, I'll leave it to them. I figured you'd post on this eventually, and as nice as it is to hear "you did the right thing" sometimes it is more helpful to hear "you did the wrong thing and here is my explanation why I think so".
I may not agree with you UnixFreak, but I thank you for taking the time to comment.
-Shy
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