Beating your children: Whats so wrong?

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Gintaras

Gintaras

Golden Member
Dec 28, 2000
1,892
1
71
Don't worry about...those "now children" will go years later to those S&M Mistresses - to get spanked and whipped and they'll have to pay alot $$$ to get what they've missed in their childhood....
It's written in human DNA...
Anybody wonders why those wimpy and powerful politicians visit so often S&M Mistress to gtr whipped and spanked?
They try to recover what they've missed in their childhood....

Plus...Society has changed...MEN becoming like a WOMEN - very sensitive...It's difficult to say some work to younger empleyee - HE might get upset and walk out...
On forums, no one is able to call an IDIOT - idiot..Idiots today are most protected species...
Who do you think re-elect politicians if no idiots?
That's why all this fight going on - to protect idiots..

Before parents used to beat children to get them on THE RIGHT PATH OF LIFE...
Nowadays, Children kill Parents to get themselves into Jail...

Do I want a child who later gonna kill me?

Gay/Lesbian PROPAGANDA is up...What for? To reduce birth of newborns?

Gay/Lesbian is NOT about Arts, Literature, Science, Film...etc...
It's about anyones Sexual Preference...

How do you think, people will look at you, if you'll be marching streets of some big city with posters: I DO HAVE SEX WITH A Woman( I'm a man) or I DO HAVE SEX WITH WITH A MAN(if it's a woman)?

Do you have to announce everyone youir sexuality? IS it ok?

In Europe, politicians were even further...and people started making jokes:

"Soon, children in Kindergarden would have to choose thjeir sexuality..."




JumBie said:
Whats going on in today's society? We have labeled spanking or hitting in anyway, shape, or form towards our children as a sinister act that only someone who is crazy would ever commit. It makes me look back, mind you I am not that old but as someone who is in my early twenties and also someone who was "abused" as a child I think I can vouch that there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

I grew up on a street that was very diverse, my neighbors were of many backgrounds: Indians, Italians, Russians, Jamaicans etc... Our sub-division was relatively new hence there were a great abundance of children playing outside at all times of the day. Most of us children got along quite well, and our parents the same. I remember almost every children on that street getting beat by their parents. Some got slapped, spanked, hair pulled, I mean the list goes on. It wasn't anything new to us, we would laugh at each other when we saw it happen but we always knew that the same could happen to us at any point in time.

All the parents were relatively blind to the fact that there was anything wrong with what they were doing. Most of them being immigrants who probably experienced the same "abuse" as a child. I look at these children who have now grown up into adults, most of these kids that i grew up with have done relatively well in life. Almost all of them are in university and pursuing great degrees, none of them exhibit any form or psychological distress that could ever be attributed to the "abuse" that we received as children.

Why is it that today if you are seen hitting your child you are a "bad" parent, the same goes for yelling at your child. What are we suppose to do? Talk to our children as if they are mentally inclined (no offense) with a soft spoken voice, no matter what they did. I find this ridiculous, society has become so soft in every aspect. I am not saying that I am going to "abuse" my child when and if I do have some, but I am also not saying that hitting your child is wrong. There obviously is a line that defines what hitting your child is vs bruising and battering them and putting them in medical distress. Once again, I just don't understand why this practice is frowned upon, anyone care to chime in? Feel free.
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KMFJD

KMFJD

Lifer
Aug 11, 2005
32,690
52,135
136
I still remember the day in grade 2, an asshat was taken to the principals office for doing something wrong, he got the strap, the principal then brought him in front of the class and asked him to describe the paddling he got....needless to say no one acted up in class that year
 
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KMFJD

KMFJD

Lifer
Aug 11, 2005
32,690
52,135
136
I also remember a time where i was in trouble for writing some bad words on paper when i didn't fully know English and the teacher wanting to apply capital punishment on me, my parents were contacted before this was done

/around 81-83
 
S

shadow9d9

Diamond Member
Jul 6, 2004
8,132
2
0
QueBert

QueBert

Lifer
Jan 6, 2002
22,978
1,178
126
DCal430 said:
Do you people think this is ok too:

http://hiphopwired.com/2013/04/03/dad-hands-out-fade-to-teenage-daughters-over-twerk-video-video/
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He should get a parenting award, I bet both of his daughters will think twice before Twerking again. And even if they don't learn a thing, the fact he made an attempt is worthy of praise. Not knowing him or either of his daughters, I can say with almost 100% certainty that teenage girls who make videos such as they did won't respond a bit to a lecture or being grounded.
 
boomhower

boomhower

Diamond Member
Sep 13, 2007
7,228
19
81
boomhower said:
There's a difference between discipline and abuse. I have to educate many parents on this in what seems like a daily basis. It's not a hard concept but it eludes a lot of people. You can't treat a child like an adult, their not.
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shortylickens said:
whats yur job?
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Cop. Not to say I encourage parents to spank their kids as I don't. Everyone is free to raise and discipline their kids as they see fit as long as it's legal. But many parents are afraid of spanking as they think they are going to get charged with child abuse. That certainly isn't the case. But there is a right way and a wrong way if you are going to do it, you can't cross the line. (granted in almost all cases there is a complete and total lack of punishment or parenting in general, it's not a lack of spanking. It's a lack of parental involvement in general. It's built up over years until the parents can't take it anymore. In almost every case if the parents had been involved in both praise, discipline, and plain old just giving the child some attention over the years I wouldn't ever get called.)

I didn't elaborate much in my previous post but some kids just don't give you many options when they don't respond to anything else. My daughter responds pretty well to having things taken away and timeouts. I've spanked her once, for bold face lying to me. My step-son not so much. Only thing that make a difference with him are spankings, we've tried everything and that's the only thing that seems to make him think about what he's doing. His momma deals those out, I don't lay a hand on him.

I can certainly understand those who are against it. It's not a pretty sight and certainly should be a very last resort. It can easily be used to get what appears to be a faster change in behavior, to me that's not the idea. In my house it's an absolute last resort when everything else has been exhausted. Of course that can change depending on the transgression. You don't lie or steal in my house.
 
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V

Vdubchaos

Lifer
Nov 11, 2009
10,408
10
0
boomhower said:
Cop. Not to say I encourage parents to spank their kids as I don't. Everyone is free to raise and discipline their kids as they see fit as long as it's legal. But many parents are afraid of spanking as they think they are going to get charged with child abuse. That certainly isn't the case. But there is a right way and a wrong way if you are going to do it, you can't cross the line.
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This is correct

Just keep in mind it's pain in the ass dealing with....
a) school (if they find out)
b) police (investigating)
c) Social worker
 
sdifox

sdifox

No Lifer
Sep 30, 2005
100,332
17,913
126
tcG said:
Corporal punishment is animalistic.
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You are denying you are an animal?

I would say I was over punished. Not by my dad, rather the school system. My dad hated having to punish us kids but it was done when needed. I remember grade 7 really well. My dad's friend was the chair of the parent school council so I got put in the special class where the focus is university admission. Back then you write an exam and get distributed based on your mark/selection of school. We are talking parents going to school begging teachers to beat their kid kind of setup.

One of our classmate happened to have a father that manufactured ratan furniture. One day he walks into class with a bundle of ratan that were probably 1.5-2" in diameter and about 4' long. Then said to the teacher "Please call me before you run out."

The standard was 80 percent. If your quiz, test did not meet that standard, you were hit on your palm with ratan, once per percent.

So the subject teacher punishes you. Not all of them did but most did.

Then when the home form teacher sees it, you get punished again.

And she was pregnant at the time. I think we did manage to use up the bundle and got another delivery.

I got the most beating since I was student number 1 of the class and my grades sucked.

This was early 80s.

Now the school system in Taiwan is in complete chaos because they changed to western style school and kids are overprotected. You hear about kids beating up teacher but no consequence but teacher can't even touch a student. I am talking holding a student, not even beating.
 
sourceninja

sourceninja

Diamond Member
Mar 8, 2005
8,805
65
91
boomhower said:
Cop. Not to say I encourage parents to spank their kids as I don't. Everyone is free to raise and discipline their kids as they see fit as long as it's legal. But many parents are afraid of spanking as they think they are going to get charged with child abuse. That certainly isn't the case. But there is a right way and a wrong way if you are going to do it, you can't cross the line.

I didn't elaborate much above but some kids just don't give you many options when they don't respond to anything else. My daughter responds pretty well to having things taken away and timeouts. I've spanked her once, for bold face lying to me. My step-son not so much. Only thing that make a difference with him are spankings, we've tried everything and that's the only thing that seems to make him think about what he's doing. His momma deals those out, I don't lay a hand on him.
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Exactly, I didn't mind time outs, I've always been able to keep myself entertained using just my mind. I would study the wall and imagine race cars driving in the cracks, etc. I could in theory just stare at a wall for hours and be happy (as a child).

My parents then tried "punishments" like withholding things I enjoy. Again, it didn't bother me and created TONS of work for them to pull the TV out or make sure I didn't get to do something that my sister was doing. Sometimes this punished them as they would have to babysit me when my sister was at a event because I would be "punished" by not being allowed to go to the event. Eventually they just figured out spanking worked the best for me. I didn't like it and I would modify my behavior to not receive it.

Next up was labor punishments. These kinda worked, but they needed to be backed up with spankings. I forgot to take the trash out for a few weeks, so my father filled the trash cans with weight and had me move them back and forth a few dozen times. This only worked because I knew if I didn't perform this annoying and frustrating task I would get the belt. However, having done that punishment once, I never forgot to take the trash out again. Another time I slammed a door so I was forced to spend 30 minutes opening and closing the door quietly under the watchful eye of my father. Another good lesson that stuck, but only because I knew not doing his punishment would lead to a spanking.

Honestly, I think the key is you don't hit your kids out of frustration or anger. You only do it after a period of calm reflection on the problem and after explaining to them why they are being punished. Hitting out of anger is abuse. Hitting to correct behavior (with the correct amount of force based on the size/age of the child) is just good parenting.
 
Murloc

Murloc

Diamond Member
Jun 24, 2008
5,382
65
91
I think using a belt or a paddle crosses the line and is abuse.
You can accomplish corporal punishment with slapping and spanking already, why go overboard.

I think the problem is parents who let their kids go crazy and do anything while they just do their own thing because they don't want to be bothered or have some weird ideology. Or those who will buy a kid anything as soon as he begins making a scene in a supermarket because they first said no.
This create entitlement.
 
sourceninja

sourceninja

Diamond Member
Mar 8, 2005
8,805
65
91
Murloc said:
I think using a belt or a paddle crosses the line and is abuse.
You can accomplish corporal punishment with slapping and spanking already, why go overboard.

I think the problem is parents who let their kids go crazy and do anything while they just do their own thing because they don't want to be bothered or have some weird ideology. Or those who will buy a kid anything as soon as he begins making a scene in a supermarket because they first said no.
This create entitlement.
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A belt is really a psychological element to the spanking (when used right). My dad didn't have to use the belt after he used it a few times. He just had to start taking it off to correct behavior.
 
R

rasczak

Lifer
Jan 29, 2005
10,437
23
81
shadow9d9 said:
You have no proof of that whatsoever... it is simply something you tell yourself to rationalize and justify the violence.
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I rationalize this, I was spanked when I did something worth spanking. I learned my lessons from it and they made me a better person who really thought about what was right from what was wrong. Violence? If you think spanking is a violent act, I'd hate to see what other skewed ideas you have about child rearing.

This will be the last time I respond to you on this topic.
 
dabuddha

dabuddha

Lifer
Apr 10, 2000
19,579
17
81
rasczak said:
I rationalize this, I was spanked when I did something worth spanking. I learned my lessons from it and they made me a better person who really thought about what was right from what was wrong. Violence? If you think spanking is a violent act, I'd hate to see what other skewed ideas you have about child rearing.

This will be the last time I respond to you on this topic.
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You should see his posts in the links BoberFett posted. It seems like he does not discipline his kids whatsoever. They eat whenever and whatever they want. He won't punish them. etc. It's parents like him that produce those punk ass kids I see on the metro every day.
 
F

Fausto

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2000
26,521
2
0
dabuddha said:
You should see his posts in the links BoberFett posted. It seems like he does not discipline his kids whatsoever. They eat whenever and whatever they want. He won't punish them. etc. It's parents like him that produce those punk ass kids I see on the metro every day.
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As usual, you're trying too hard. I'm going to chalk it up to shitty parenting.
 
SlitheryDee

SlitheryDee

Lifer
Feb 2, 2005
17,252
19
81
sourceninja said:
A belt is really a psychological element to the spanking (when used right). My dad didn't have to use the belt after he used it a few times. He just had to start taking it off to correct behavior.
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This is something people who are against corporal punishment don't get. A spanking is a traumatic experience when use properly. It's supposed to be traumatic, but the pain of the actual spanking is the least of it. As soon as you let the kid know that a spanking is in their near future they start thinking about it, worrying about it, and building it up in their mind as something awful. After letting them stew awhile the parent will make them do something demeaning like bend over and grab their ankles or the arm of a chair or something. Then comes the sound of the belt sliding through the belt loops, bringing their terror to a sharp edge. Usually what follows is two or three sharp, but controlled strokes with the belt and it's over. It may not have hurt at all really, but it was still an experience they won't forget.

Some parents forget that you can't do that very often though. The traumatic effect of a whipping loses potency the more often you use it and eventually the kid learns not to fear it. If it gets to that point some parents just escalate the pain factor, which was never really the effective part of the punishment to start with. That's when it turns from a useful tool to simple abuse.
 
dabuddha

dabuddha

Lifer
Apr 10, 2000
19,579
17
81
Fausto said:
No, pathetic is a grown man as in need of attention as you seem to be.
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Could you please pass me the crack that you are smoking because I really have no idea what you're talking about. I don't see any of my posts as being attention whoring at all but whatever floats your boat :)
 
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