Alcoholism and Boundaries

[Mayne]

I guess i'm the jerk here. :shrug: Why are you getting married again? I never understood this concept.

 

[Darwin333]

Honestly, I would leave out all of the direct reminders about your sister's fuckups. Just say something like, "I need you to appreciate the situation as it is, the decision we have to make now, as I feel that I have been very generous and sympathetic to helping you out when you needed it."

Pointing the finger and reminding people of their problems never works. Certainly not with family.

Another agreement with this. Keep it short and sweet, no need to continue the argument or give them the ability to continue an argument even if they agree to no alcohol. What you wrote, while it may be factual, will potentially just cause even more unnecessary drama IMHO. Just remind them of your generosity and take a hard line, either no alcohol or start looking for a new place, my house my rules.

 

[Darwin333]

sorry, but it's kinda lame to tell grown adults they can't drink because someone doesn't know their limit.

Just like it is kind of lame to expect grown adults living with you to clean up after themselves and not eat food that is in the fridge 😕

 

[Mayne]

I was under the impression that this was 2 seperate apartments not a bunch of people living together and traipsing their way thru each others lives.

 

[Mayne]

if that is the living conditions...i totally agree with op.

 

[Darwin333]

Seems like you should have had a discussion instead of ordering a mandate. I'm not a pro on contract law, and if oral agreements let you just amend terms but either way it could have been handled better.

Shrug, I wouldn't have a discussion about the rules of my house either, it's my way or the highway because it is my fucking house, this goes double if I am doing you a favor.

 

[Darwin333]

I was under the impression that this was 2 seperate apartments not a bunch of people living together and traipsing their way thru each others lives.

No, they live in his basement which is not only a part of the actual house but also where his fiance must regularly go to do laundry. If it was two separate apartments then the OP would be out of line.

 

[Mayne]

I can understand that now...I would not be happy knowing I can not come home and have an ice cold beer. I would definitely be looking for a new place.

 

[TheSiege]

I sent the text yesterday and she never replied. I also gave them a small safe for their medication. I am out of the state until Thursday, at that point I will address it again and make sure, in person, she is clear of my expectations.

 

[whm1974]

I sent the text yesterday and she never replied. I also gave them a small safe for their medication. I am out of the state until Thursday, at that point I will address it again and make sure, in person, she is clear of my expectations.

At the moment, this is probably the best you can do. However if you and your sister can't come to an agreement, then serving an eviction notice may be in your near future.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Communicating ultimatums via text is just so pathetic IMO.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Communicating ultimatums via text is just so pathetic IMO.

I agree. Calling the person in question or meeting that person face to face is very important.
Seeing eye to eye or hearing the emotion in the voice is important in communications.
Of course, this is only needed for serious matters not for small talk.

 

[TheSiege]

We had two previous discussions in person that did not go well. I sent the text to make sure everything I wanted to say, was said. And thats why I will follow up, in person, when I am back in town