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A man walks into a bar...

Smackey

Member
Mar 7, 2001
108
0
0

A man walks into a bar with a roll of ashphalt under his arm and says: "A pint, please. Oh, and one more for the road."
 

compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,062
869
126
A bear walks into the bar.
Bartender says, we don't serve bears beers here.

Oh, really? Well, you'd better serve me a beer, or I am going to eat that waitress over there. Bar tender says, we don't server bears beers here. Ok, but I warned you. The bear then tears the waitress to shreds, and comes back to the bar.
Bartender says, we don't serve bears beers here, especially bears on drugs?
Hmmmmm, asks the bear?

Bartender says, what about that bar-bitch-uate? ;)
 

compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,062
869
126
A man walks into a store.
Man: Got any nuts?
Clerk: Nope
Man: got any dates?
Clerk: If I had nuts, I'd have dates
 

Joemonkey

Diamond Member
Mar 3, 2001
8,862
2
0
Cheeseburger walks into a bar, the bartender says "sorry but we don't serve food here"
 

Zolty

Diamond Member
Feb 7, 2005
3,603
0
0
A string walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Sorry, we dont serve strings here" so the next day, the string comes back. He stops right outside the door and starts twisting and turning and writhing around, then walks in. The bartender says, "Aren't you the string that walked in here?" The string says "Nope, frayed knot!"
 

funboy6942

Lifer
Nov 13, 2001
14,989
250
126
50
A man walks into a bar..........an knocks himself out and eveyone laughs at his expense.
A man walks into a bar..........and orders a drink.
A man walks into a bar..........and stays awhile, gets drunk, hops into his car thinking he is fine to drive but ends up going the wrong way on the highway passes out and kills a family of 3 but survives to get ass raped in jail when the courts find him guilty of man slaughter in the first degree and has to serve 4 life sentances back to back with no possibility of parole and 30 years later dies of ass cancer from all the ass raping he recieved while in prision. No one misses him when he is buried and it put in the ground without one person showing up for his funeral. Ends up going straight to hell where the father of the family he killed is waiting for him (because he used to sodomize his son) and ass rapes the man thoughout his enternal damnation.
Dont drink and drive.
 

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,713
10
56
Originally posted by: Smackey

A man walks into a bar with a roll of ashphalt under his arm and says: "A pint, please. Oh, and one more for the road."
:beer: :beer:

 
Jun 19, 2004
10,861
1
81
Originally posted by: funboy42
A man walks into a bar..........an knocks himself out and eveyone laughs at his expense.
A man walks into a bar..........and orders a drink.
A man walks into a bar..........and stays awhile, gets drunk, hops into his car thinking he is fine to drive but ends up going the wrong way on the highway passes out and kills a family of 3 but survives to get ass raped in jail when the courts find him guilty of man slaughter in the first degree and has to serve 4 life sentances back to back with no possibility of parole and 30 years later dies of ass cancer from all the ass raping he recieved while in prision. No one misses him when he is buried and it put in the ground without one person showing up for his funeral. Ends up going straight to hell where the father of the family he killed is waiting for him (because he used to sodomize his son) and ass rapes the man thoughout his enternal damnation.
Dont drink and drive.


damn dude....you got issues.
 

bigrash

Lifer
Feb 20, 2001
17,653
28
91
Originally posted by: funboy42
A man walks into a bar..........an knocks himself out and eveyone laughs at his expense.
A man walks into a bar..........and orders a drink.
A man walks into a bar..........and stays awhile, gets drunk, hops into his car thinking he is fine to drive but ends up going the wrong way on the highway passes out and kills a family of 3 but survives to get ass raped in jail when the courts find him guilty of man slaughter in the first degree and has to serve 4 life sentances back to back with no possibility of parole and 30 years later dies of ass cancer from all the ass raping he recieved while in prision. No one misses him when he is buried and it put in the ground without one person showing up for his funeral. Ends up going straight to hell where the father of the family he killed is waiting for him (because he used to sodomize his son) and ass rapes the man thoughout his enternal damnation.
Dont drink and drive.
wtf?
 

DaShen

Lifer
Dec 1, 2000
10,710
1
0
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Originally posted by: funboy42
A man walks into a bar..........an knocks himself out and eveyone laughs at his expense.
A man walks into a bar..........and orders a drink.
A man walks into a bar..........and stays awhile, gets drunk, hops into his car thinking he is fine to drive but ends up going the wrong way on the highway passes out and kills a family of 3 but survives to get ass raped in jail when the courts find him guilty of man slaughter in the first degree and has to serve 4 life sentances back to back with no possibility of parole and 30 years later dies of ass cancer from all the ass raping he recieved while in prision. No one misses him when he is buried and it put in the ground without one person showing up for his funeral. Ends up going straight to hell where the father of the family he killed is waiting for him (because he used to sodomize his son) and ass rapes the man thoughout his enternal damnation.
Dont drink and drive.
damn dude....you got issues.
Agreed... the guy has a fixation, he needs to address. (the aristocrats) ;)
 

OOBradm

Golden Member
May 21, 2001
1,730
0
76
Originally posted by: funboy42
A man walks into a bar..........an knocks himself out and eveyone laughs at his expense.
A man walks into a bar..........and orders a drink.
A man walks into a bar..........and stays awhile, gets drunk, hops into his car thinking he is fine to drive but ends up going the wrong way on the highway passes out and kills a family of 3 but survives to get ass raped in jail when the courts find him guilty of man slaughter in the first degree and has to serve 4 life sentances back to back with no possibility of parole and 30 years later dies of ass cancer from all the ass raping he recieved while in prision. No one misses him when he is buried and it put in the ground without one person showing up for his funeral. Ends up going straight to hell where the father of the family he killed is waiting for him (because he used to sodomize his son) and ass rapes the man thoughout his enternal damnation.
Dont drink and drive.
unecessary dude
 

ahurtt

Diamond Member
Feb 1, 2001
4,283
0
0
A horse walks into a bar and sits down at the bar. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy. Why the long face?"
 
Dec 5, 2005
247
0
0
a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "whats with the long face?"

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both proceed to get trashed, after awhile the giraffe passes out on the floor. When the guy goes to leave the bar, the bartender says, "hey you can't leave that lying there..." the drunk says, "its not a lion its a giraffe."
 

ahurtt

Diamond Member
Feb 1, 2001
4,283
0
0
Originally posted by: chairbornrangerx
a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "whats with the long face?"

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both proceed to get trashed, after awhile the giraffe passes out on the floor. When the guy goes to leave the bar, the bartender says, "hey you can't leave that lying there..." the drunk says, "its not a lion its a giraffe."
If you didn't add on the giraffe joke you'd have gotten yours in first :)
 

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