BarkingGhostar
Diamond Member
- Nov 20, 2009
- 8,410
- 1,617
- 136
local
Golden Member
- Jun 28, 2011
- 1,851
- 515
- 136
That was going to be my second option, Heroin IV drip, but I was unsure of the possible suckage of overdosing on it and was too lazy to look it up at the time.
Zorba
Lifer
- Oct 22, 1999
- 15,613
- 11,255
- 136
Man, what the fuck is wrong with Humans.Amazing that we have had the technology and medicines to put people under for MAJOR surgeries in which a crazy amount of pain would otherwise be endured for quite a while now. Yet we can't seem to get it right when trying to kill people in a, at least I hope, a merciful way.
I raise you with the Judas Cradle, give me the slow roast over this any day:
The Judas Cradle, a terrible medieval torture where the victim would be placed on top of a pyramid-like seat. The victim's feet were tied to each other in a way that moving one leg would force the other to move as well - increasing pain.The triangular-shaped end of the judas cradle was inserted in the victim's anus or vagina. This torture could last, depending on some factors discussed below, anywhere from a few hours to complete days.
Death Factors
The time it took someone to die varied enormously from individual to individual. Torturers would sometimes add weight to the victim's legs as to increase pain and hurry the victim's death. Other torturers would place oil on the device which increased pain considerably.
This device was rarely, if at all, washed. If the victim did not die quickly enough, or their painful execution was interrupted, they would invariantly die from an infection.
The victim was sometimes rocked or made fall repeatedly onto the "pyramid". This was done so torturers could acquire vital information from the victim. If he or she refused to talk, the torturer would either add more weight to the victim or make him or her fall repeatedly on the device.
blankslate
Diamond Member
- Jun 16, 2008
- 8,774
- 556
- 126
Probably what Steve Jobs was purported to have said in his last moments...
"Oh wow" or something to that effect... I suspect the quick onset of shock will be bewildering given how rapidly the brain would starve for oxygen.
________
bradly1101
Diamond Member
GagHalfrunt
Lifer
- Apr 19, 2001
- 25,284
- 1,997
- 126
No, Detroit they have guns. Machetes and chainsaws are better for TV.
A lot.
How about the Pear of Anguish?
This heinous contraption was used during the Middle Ages as a way to torture women who were accused of facilitating a miscarriage. It was also used to punish liars, blasphemers, and homosexuals. The device was inserted into one of the prisoner's orifices — the vagina for women, the anus for homosexuals, and the mouth for liars and blasphemers (which is why it's also known as the Choke Pear). The device featured four metal leaves that slowly separated from each other as the torturer turned the screw at the top. The torturer could use it to tear the skin, or expand it to its maximal size to mutilate the victim. It rarely caused death, but
was often followed by other torture methods.
Or The Tub:
Known as the punishment of ‘sitting in the tub,’ the convicted person would be placed in a wooden tub with only their head sticking out. After that, the executioner would paint their faces with milk and honey; and soon, flies would begin to feed on them. The victim was also fed regularly and would end up swimming in their excrement. After a few days, maggots and worms would devour their body as they decayed alive.
Impalement:
Given his name, it should come as no surprise that this was the most favored method of execution by Vlad the Impaler. In 15th century Romania; the victim was forced to sit on a sharp and thick pole. When the pole was then raised upright, the victim was left to slide down the pole with their own weight. It could take the victim 3 days to die using this method and it has been said that Vlad once did this to 20,000 people all while enjoying a meal.
Of course we have everyones favorite, The Rack:
Designed to dislocate every joint of the victim’s body, it was believed to be the most painful form of medieval torture. This torture device was made out of a wooden frame with two ropes fixed to the bottom and the other two tied into the handle on top. Once the victim was bound and placed on top of the rack, the torturer would proceed to turn the handle. Eventually, the victim would be stretched till his limbs where dislocated. The torturers, however, (just to make sure those limbs where indeed dislocated) would continue to turn the wheel until the limbs were completely torn off the victim’s body.
A crowd favorite, The Breaking Wheel:
Also known as the Catherine Wheel, this is a torture device use to slowly kill the victim. First, the victim’s limbs were tied to the spokes of a large wooden wheel which would then be slowly revolved as the torturer simultaneously smashed the victim’s limbs with an iron hammer to break them in numerous places. As the bones were broken, the victim would be left on the wheel to die or could be place on top of a tall pole so the birds could feed on their flesh while still alive. This was slow indeed since it could have taken days before the victims would die from dehydration.
Then we have the Spanish Donkey:
One of the torture devices during the Spanish Inquisition, this is probably one of the most gruesome of them all. The victim is put astride, naked, on a donkey-like apparatus, which is actually a vertical wooden board with a sharp V-wedge on top of it. After that, the torturer would add varying weights to the victim’s feet until finally the wedge sliced through the victim’s body.
Merry Christmas!
snoopy7548
Diamond Member
- Jan 1, 2005
- 8,234
- 5,302
- 146
A lot.
How about the Pear of Anguish?
This heinous contraption was used during the Middle Ages as a way to torture women who were accused of facilitating a miscarriage. It was also used to punish liars, blasphemers, and homosexuals. The device was inserted into one of the prisoner's orifices — the vagina for women, the anus for homosexuals, and the mouth for liars and blasphemers (which is why it's also known as the Choke Pear). The device featured four metal leaves that slowly separated from each other as the torturer turned the screw at the top. The torturer could use it to tear the skin, or expand it to its maximal size to mutilate the victim. It rarely caused death, but
was often followed by other torture methods.
Or The Tub:
Known as the punishment of ‘sitting in the tub,’ the convicted person would be placed in a wooden tub with only their head sticking out. After that, the executioner would paint their faces with milk and honey; and soon, flies would begin to feed on them. The victim was also fed regularly and would end up swimming in their excrement. After a few days, maggots and worms would devour their body as they decayed alive.
Impalement:
Given his name, it should come as no surprise that this was the most favored method of execution by Vlad the Impaler. In 15th century Romania; the victim was forced to sit on a sharp and thick pole. When the pole was then raised upright, the victim was left to slide down the pole with their own weight. It could take the victim 3 days to die using this method and it has been said that Vlad once did this to 20,000 people all while enjoying a meal.
Of course we have everyones favorite, The Rack:
Designed to dislocate every joint of the victim’s body, it was believed to be the most painful form of medieval torture. This torture device was made out of a wooden frame with two ropes fixed to the bottom and the other two tied into the handle on top. Once the victim was bound and placed on top of the rack, the torturer would proceed to turn the handle. Eventually, the victim would be stretched till his limbs where dislocated. The torturers, however, (just to make sure those limbs where indeed dislocated) would continue to turn the wheel until the limbs were completely torn off the victim’s body.
A crowd favorite, The Breaking Wheel:
Also known as the Catherine Wheel, this is a torture device use to slowly kill the victim. First, the victim’s limbs were tied to the spokes of a large wooden wheel which would then be slowly revolved as the torturer simultaneously smashed the victim’s limbs with an iron hammer to break them in numerous places. As the bones were broken, the victim would be left on the wheel to die or could be place on top of a tall pole so the birds could feed on their flesh while still alive. This was slow indeed since it could have taken days before the victims would die from dehydration.
Then we have the Spanish Donkey:
One of the torture devices during the Spanish Inquisition, this is probably one of the most gruesome of them all. The victim is put astride, naked, on a donkey-like apparatus, which is actually a vertical wooden board with a sharp V-wedge on top of it. After that, the torturer would add varying weights to the victim’s feet until finally the wedge sliced through the victim’s body.
Merry Christmas!
The next time your kid acts up and whines about his "punishment", read him these descriptions as bedtime stories.
Zanovar
Diamond Member
- Jan 21, 2011
- 3,446
- 232
- 106
Nooooo daddy, I'll be good I PROOOOMISE just don't use the Pearls of Anguish on my butthole please!
Not likely from what she says but in all fairness I'm pretty sure I was replying to Highland
Actually, the brain has some oxygen already in it so one will not lose conciseness instantly at all. This was brought to light when the French were using the guillotine, a man destined for execution had tried to make the case for it's inhumane nature. He proved it by telling onlookers that after his head was separated he would blink his eyes as many times as possible after the event. Come his day he was able to blink his eyes 13 times, this stunned onlookers at the time who had assumed that complete death was near instantaneous, the guillotine was phased out. As for me, I'd prefer a firing squad, why not some excitement vs laying on a bed waiting for a needle.
Shrug, if his face was blinking and not grimacing in crazy pain then I'd still say that it was pretty merciful, especially for the day. I'm with you on the firing squad though, I'd get some way cooler last words like "step closer you assholes, I don't want you to miss" or something.
- Jun 22, 2004
- 4,344
- 712
- 121
I think if given a choice, many people would pick bullet to the brain because it's the most immediate and merciful. Yet, that method is banned because it's icky. Ironic that the most humane method is not allowed.
GagHalfrunt
Lifer
- Apr 19, 2001
- 25,284
- 1,997
- 126
And what if you're ready to stare death in the face and instead of using a blade they have an enormous woman jump on your head?
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