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Your Best Jokes

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^ No, he shouldn't. The guy on Page 1 jokes on Jesus, and people enjoy it. That's bordering on blasphemous and no one cares. If that's legal, it's all legal.
 
Originally posted by: SouthPaW1227
^ No, he shouldn't. The guy on Page 1 jokes on Jesus, and people enjoy it. That's bordering on blasphemous and no one cares. If that's legal, it's all legal.
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Absence of comment does not necessarily mean absence of care. 😛

Personally, I don't like either.
 
Originally posted by: GhettoPeanut
Originally posted by: KingPhil
Q: Why don't sharks eat black people when they are swimming?

A: Because they think its whale poop.
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you should be banned
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but only because it is the dumbest joke in the history of dumb jokes...
 
Originally posted by: JoeKing
Two sausages are cooking in a frying pan. One sausage says, "Hey, is it just me, or is it warm in here?" To which the other sausage replies, "AAAAAHHH!!! A Talking Sausage!!!"
--
Why does Helen Keller need two hands to masturbate?
One to masturbate with, the other to moan.
--
Did you hear the one about the American Indian that had to sleep in the hotel lobby because he didn't have a reservation?
--
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing.
--
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
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pretty great elephant joke
 
Originally posted by: SouthPaW1227
^ No, he shouldn't. The guy on Page 1 jokes on Jesus, and people enjoy it. That's bordering on blasphemous and no one cares. If that's legal, it's all legal.
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I tell you what, you go to downtown Baltimore and yell "You n1ggers suck!", and I'll sit here and yell "Blow me, Jesus!" and let's see who comes out ahead.

:thumbsup:
 
Originally posted by: JoLLyRoGer
Originally posted by: pclstyle
Fvck PETA, here goes:





A baby seal walks into a club.






😀
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WINNAR! I laughed out loud for more than three minuites [tears streaming down my face].

Best joke of the thread!!:laugh:
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😕 My god, do you live in a cave or something? That joke is like 50 years old!
 
Originally posted by: MaverickBP
Originally posted by: tasburrfoot78362
Here is another stupid joke then, if you didn't get the last one.

A guy is sitting in an airplane on some international flight, and there is an old lady with a dog in front of him. And no matter what, the dog won't leave him alone, because he keeps licking him in the face. He man repeatedly asks the old woman to control her dog, but she simply replies "Oh, no my sweet pookums".
So after getting fed up with it, then man lights up a cigar and starts blowing smoke at the dog and the lady. The lady is choking on the smoke, and asks the guy to put out the cigar. The man simply replies that he will get rid of the cigar if she gets rid of the dog. The woman replies that she could never do any such thing.
After a few more minutes, the lady simply can't stand it anymore, so she opens the windows, grabs the dog, tosses it out, and grabs the cigar, and tosses it out. A few minutes go by, and the man looks out the window, and the dog is sitting on the wing of the plane. And guess what it has in its mouth?

Nope, the brick! 🙂

-----
Tas.
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ok yes they were both stupid...and they are sitting on a plane and she just opens a WINDOW!!!
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Its a biplane ass...
 
Originally posted by: akubi
Originally posted by: pclstyle
might take a sec to figure this one out:

Town drunk Pete has been pounding drafts at the local bar all day. " I gotta crap" he slurs to the bartender. So he staggers to the toilet. A few minutes later the bartender hears a blood-curdling scream coming from the restroom. A little while later, another one. The bartender storms to the back and pounds on the door. "What the hell is going on in there? You're scaring the hell out of the customers!" Pete says, "Everytime I flush something jumps out the toilet and squeezes the hell outta my nuts!" The bartender kicks the door in. "You a**hole! Your sitting on the mop bucket!" 😛
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😕
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ROTFLOL
 
Originally posted by: tennesota
The Potato Garden

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden,
but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who
used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son
and described his predicament:

Dear Fred,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be
able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be
digging up a garden plot... If you were here, all my troubles would be over; you
would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad,

For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's
where I buried the BODIES.

Love, Fred

At 4 am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug
up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old
man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his
son:

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under
the circumstances.

Love, Fred
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AWESOME....
 
Originally posted by: Locut0s
Some of my colleagues think that the chemicals we are experimenting with could potentially cause brain damage, however I think that fish crunchy bits of salami my new red hippie noodle. Naked pool frogs?

Give a man a match and he'll be warm for an hour... Set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

-----------------------------------
Here are some others
-----------------------------------

Corporate Motto: READY - FIRE - AIM !!!

Inasmuch as the earth is 2/3 water and 1/3 land, it is clear that our time should be divided. 2/3 fishing and 1/3 work.

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me. - Ashleigh Brilliant

There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never quit AND never win are idiots.

Another month ends. All targets met. All systems working. All customers satisfied. All staff eagerly enthusiastic. All pigs fed and ready to fly.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

They can't fire me, slaves have to be sold.

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

They say that you are put on earth to accomplish a certain amount of things. Right now I am so far behind... I'll never die...

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has determined that the maximum safe load capacity on my butt is two persons at a time, unless I install handrails or safety straps. Since you have arrived sixth in line to RIDE MY ASS today, please take a number and WAIT YOUR TURN!

Those that make the rules don't play the game!

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.

Never have I seen a word as accurate as politics. Poly meaning many, and tic being a blood-sucking thing.

I used to like political jokes until so many of them got elected!

When I was young I was told that anyone could be President. I'm beginning to believe it.

If you read a dictionary, you'll be really smart. If you eat a dictionary, you'll be really full.

(on a lecturer's door): The probability of finding me in this office is inversely proportional to the magnitude of your urgency.

If you freeze to death and end up in hell... wouldn't you be really comfortable some point along the way?

If God is inside us, then I hope he likes fajita's, cause that's what he's getting.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

This is a sign written on a back of a truck: Overtakers beware, you might meet the Undertaker

I brake for No Apparent Reason

I want to die in my sleep like grandpa, not terrified and screaming like his passengers.

If you set out to fail, and actually succeed, which have you done?

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all
get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
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Good for sigs.... 🙂
 
Originally posted by: samgau
Originally posted by: tennesota
The Potato Garden

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden,
but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who
used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son
and described his predicament:

Dear Fred,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be
able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be
digging up a garden plot... If you were here, all my troubles would be over; you
would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad,

For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's
where I buried the BODIES.

Love, Fred

At 4 am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug
up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old
man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his
son:

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under
the circumstances.

Love, Fred
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AWESOME....
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:thumbup; There's a similiar one, where one guy calls the FBI, claiming his friend has drugs hidden out in this firewood pile and they come and chop up all the wood for him - Merry Christmas, buddy!
 
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