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YAGT: So she wants to get engaged......bad...

Scarpozzi

Lifer
I've been going out with my gf for almost 1 year and 10 months.... She wants to get engaged....bad. She started crying tonight and asking me if I thought she was the one or what. I don't know what to tell her cause I'm not ready for that yet....of course I let her know. She's 19 and will turn 20 in 2 months just before our 2 year anniversary of being bf/gf. I'm 24. What should I do? I seriously haven't even thought about getting married or even engaged yet. I feel like I'm too young and not ready for the committment....but she's been pressuring me since last year.
 
Think about it real long and hard, because this will be a woman you spend both the good and bad times with in the future. 24 is perhaps a bit young, but as long as you both work towards the relationship, you can achieve anything.
 
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Tell her you aren't ready. If she can't deal, she's not the one.
That's what I did....then I came back to work to get some stuff done in the office while she pouts and cries.
 
You little bitch, most of us here can't even get a gf, and you're complaining bc some chick wants to be with you?!

Seriously...I would just have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Lay the cards out on the table. Let her know that you respect how she feels and that you do love her. Evaluate yourself and see if there is really any reason why you wouldn't be ready to get married...
 
ask her why it's so important to her.

but don't be pressured into anything you don't want to do.
you will know when it's the right time.
 
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Tell her you aren't ready. If she can't deal, she's not the one.
That's what I did....then I came back to work to get some stuff done in the office while she pouts and cries.

She's pregnant.

That's kind of a dick move, leaving her while she's ballin'. But she is being unreasonable, so I don't blame you.
 
I'm not sure SHE is ready. I mean, 20 years old? Wow.

Besides, what changes if you get engaged? Does it alter the closeness of your relationship in any way? If it doesn't, why the rush? I really don't see the point in getting engaged if marriage isn't around the corner...

Any relationship is susceptible to breakup, regardless of whether you're engaged, married with children, or boyfriend/girlfriend.
 
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Tell her you aren't ready. If she can't deal, she's not the one.
That's what I did....then I came back to work to get some stuff done in the office while she pouts and cries.

She's pregnant.

That's kind of a dick move, leaving her while she's ballin'. But she is being unreasonable, so I don't blame you.
LOL....she's not pregnant.
 
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Tell her you aren't ready. If she can't deal, she's not the one.
That's what I did....then I came back to work to get some stuff done in the office while she pouts and cries.

She's pregnant.

That's kind of a dick move, leaving her while she's ballin'. But she is being unreasonable, so I don't blame you.
LOL....she's not pregnant.

Have you tested lately?
 
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Just let her know how you feel, the ball will be in her court after that.
But it won't stop her from pressuring me to conform....and it won't stop her from wanting to stay over EVERY night. I've been pretty firm in letting her know how I feel, but she doesn't ever honor that....every time I think about it, it makes me realize that maybe she's not the one.
 
How much college does she have left? Tell her it'd be better if you two discussed the marriage thing when she finishes. The better her GPA, the better the bling.
 
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Tell her you aren't ready. If she can't deal, she's not the one.
That's what I did....then I came back to work to get some stuff done in the office while she pouts and cries.

I'm amazed that King Playa Himself (I remember your threads and our email convos! 😉) is almost trapped in The Web Of Eternal Suffering And Pain. :Q

Your GF is young and it shows. She's whining, crying, freaking the fck out on you, etc.

She's in love with the idea of being married, not necessarily to you (not a diss) but with the IDEA. Her friends and family are besieging her with visions of big, poofy white dresses, flowers, children, and happily ever after.

You, OTOH are just happy to have a pretty girl as a steady GF, right? Trust me, I've been in your shoes.

I am The Eternal Boyfriend. I'd date a girl, steady for YEARS and never think of getting married.

Years later and I haven't changed too much. Though at my advanced stage of hair loss, my tune is somewhat altered...if it felt right at this point, I MIGHT, whereas before it was HELL NO no matter what.

I would say she is not the one. Do not be forced, threatened, pressured or otherwise hoodwinked into getting married. The choice is yours and the world is full of other, very pretty, screwed up in the head women for you to plunder their wares like a vengeful pirate.

Put on your eyepatch, matey! Let's set sail!!! :beer:
 
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Tell her you aren't ready. If she can't deal, she's not the one.
That's what I did....then I came back to work to get some stuff done in the office while she pouts and cries.

She's pregnant.

That's kind of a dick move, leaving her while she's ballin'. But she is being unreasonable, so I don't blame you.
LOL....she's not pregnant.

Have you tested lately?
Yes...she just got off her period Sunday. Considering I've been busy with exams, it's highly unlikely....
 
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Tell her you aren't ready. If she can't deal, she's not the one.
That's what I did....then I came back to work to get some stuff done in the office while she pouts and cries.

She's pregnant.

That's kind of a dick move, leaving her while she's ballin'. But she is being unreasonable, so I don't blame you.
LOL....she's not pregnant.

Have you tested lately?
Yes...she just got off her period Sunday. Considering I've been busy with exams, it's highly unlikely....


what you mean is it's highly unlikely YOU got her pregnant
 
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
How much college does she have left? Tell her it'd be better if you two discussed the marriage thing when she finishes. The better her GPA, the better the bling.
She's basically a sophmore at this point....she's got probably 3+ years left. I think she wants a candlelight ceremony in her sorority....it's something they do when they get engaged....totally wanting it for the wrong reasons....though she does really love me- 😕
 
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