YAGT: So she wants to get engaged......bad...

[poopaskoopa]

Tell her you're not ready and pray that she'll break up with you over it.

 

[blahblah99]

You can:

1) Get married and be happy with what you have...

or

2) DTB and work hard to reach the pinnacle of your success to realize your dreams THEN get married.

Sounds to me like she's a dream killer.

 

[rh71]

I don't think it's fair to judge someone else from another person's words so I'll just skip that part... it's about you anyway... what does "i'm not ready" really mean ? Either you're not sure if you want to spend the rest of your life with her (but you should know after 1 year)... or you really don't want to do it... let the poor girl go.

If you knew she was your future wife, where's the harm in getting engaged, but making no plans for the wedding ? We were engaged for 2.5 years before we finally wed. Nobody cared, but we knew what we were doing. Where is your relationship heading from your viewpoint ? I don't know is not an answer after a year.

 

[Brian23]

Originally posted by: rh71
I don't think it's fair to judge someone else from another person's words so I'll just skip that part... it's about you anyway... what does "i'm not ready" really mean ? Either you're not sure if you want to spend the rest of your life with her (but you should know after 1 year)... or you really don't want to do it... let the poor girl go.

If you knew she was your future wife, where's the harm in getting engaged, but making no plans for the wedding ? We were engaged for 2.5 years before we finally wed. Nobody cared, but we knew what we were doing. Where is your relationship heading from your viewpoint ? I don't know is not an answer after a year.

The problem is maybe he is just dating her because he enjoys spending time with her. That doesn't nesscessarily mean that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Geting married is a big deal and I'm sure he wants to take his time to decide if she really is who he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

 

[Wuffsunie]

Not quite 20 years old? Been badgering you since just after the first year together? Second year of college? Bad mojo.

Your position seems decent enough. A job enough to afford what you have is certainly a bonus. You financially stable, though? Reasonably debt free? Nice nest egg? Willing to foot her bills with no/little hope of recompence? Willing to deal with rugrats in the first two years? (Not a certainity, but she sounds like the kind of gal who would want a full blown Family soon as possible.) Willing to get a full blown pre-nup in case this tanks in a few years? Have the stones to offer that to her? If the answer to more than one of these is a negative, you have no business even thinking of getting married.

It's best to get together in a normal, typical situation with her and talk this over. Don't try buttering her up with dinner out or anything, don't make it a huge specitical, and don't try and deflect it by doing something "special" for her. Explain to her, face to face, that you're not ready, neither of you are in a position to make it work, and anything this important that's that rushed is almost certain to fail. Maybe later, when you're both more mature... but not now.

 

[cmdrmoocow]

Originally posted by: bobbybe01
You little bitch, most of us here can't even get a gf, and you're complaining bc some chick wants to be with you?!

:thumbsup:

 

[oboeguy]

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Tell her you aren't ready. If she can't deal, she's not the one.

EXACTLY.

She has some serious confidence issues if she can't deal with not being engaged after only a couple of years (took me 3.5 then another 1.5 to actually get married). Plus the age! 20? WTF she needs to get married at that age? Serious issues.

 

[jjones]

If she deals with adult conversations by crying and pouting you can well imagine what married life would be like. Hopefully she'll grow up but I wouldn't hold my breath about that.

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
Tell her you aren't ready. If she can't deal, she's not the one.

what he said. if she really loves you and cares for you, then sticking it out until you are ready should not be a problem at all.

i do not understand why women find being engaged such a big deal lol. other than a word, knowing you are going to get married soon, and a ring, its nothing different than being gf/bf. and if you ARENT considering this girl to be your wife ever in the future, you best get out of it right now.