What a crappy birthday
-but-
If you were stuck somewhere and she had the car, would you expect her to pick you up?
...I bet you would, I know I would
If your girlfriend needs a ride somewhere at 8:30 then it's your job to pick her up or arrange a ride unless you are at work, in school or similar. Next time STFU and pick her @ss up, you'll save yourself a huge headache.
-but-
If you were stuck somewhere and she had the car, would you expect her to pick you up?
...I bet you would, I know I would
If your girlfriend needs a ride somewhere at 8:30 then it's your job to pick her up or arrange a ride unless you are at work, in school or similar. Next time STFU and pick her @ss up, you'll save yourself a huge headache.
LEt me guess - she got mad for some emotional totally irrational reason and then got mad when you didn't understand where she was coming from.
Dude - this is exactly what women do all the time. The only solution is to stop having sex with women and turn to men.
It wasn't worth it for me so I put up with it....
Dude - this is exactly what women do all the time. The only solution is to stop having sex with women and turn to men.
It wasn't worth it for me so I put up with it....
Wrong.
It's her problem and poor decision making that put that ho in the spot in the first place. She can always call a cab.
1) she obviously has a phone to call a cab
2) she can't take care of herself and expects OP to drop what he is doing - what? ho doesn't have a car?
3) If ho doesn't have a car, then ho needs to provide transportation for herself or at the very least know how to call a cab
4) repeat
5) ho can't provide transportation for herself, assumed she could call for a ride and expect the world to drop to give her a ride
6) selfish ho gets upset when world does not revolve around her
I'm being totally serious. That kind of crap is not acceptible.
Okay, I may have missed it in all of this, but did you go over to her place that night after all of this happened or not?
Edit: Sorry, I found it where you said you tried to call her all night without reaching her and got in touch with her the next morning.
I've got to say that both of you seemed to have handled this pretty badly, and I'm just going by what you've posted here.
She does come off as pretty irrational at first glance, but reading a bit more deeply, you certainly don't come off as a very concerned boyfriend. You said yourself that when she said she didn't have a ride you just said sorry, I can't help you out because I've been drinking, and then you later said that when she said she might have to walk the mile home in the dark you just told her that if she had to, then do it (politely). So it wasn't like she asked for a ride, you said no, and then she hung up on you. There was some conversation there and you didn't mention anything about showing any real concern for her situation. In fact, it sounds like you were pretty much just saying, tough luck. I think most of the guys here would have at least tried to show some concern for her situation and discussed her options with her trying to be helpful instead of just telling her to walk a mile in the dark if she had to (politely). So yes, she should have been able to find a ride on her own from someone or call a cab, but from your own description of the situation I can see her being a bit pissed at you over that conversation.
Now the calling back and forth between the two of you and not being able to get through is one of those things that could just happen, and it was pretty immature of her to decide to not answer any more calls later, but then you do pretty much the same thing by not even going over to check up on her that night. Again, sure you're mad that she's not answering your calls, but it also just adds fuel to the fire of her thinking you're not concerned about her at all.
Then, from your description of things, without even seeing her in person after all of this you send her an email telling her you need to stop seeing each other as a scare tactic to get her to apologize and say that she is in the wrong, and if she does, you'll veto it, otherwise it's over.
And then finally in your update, you say that she apologized, that she knew that she was in the wrong, and understood that her actions were irrational. You say nothing about YOU apologizing for any of the mistakes you made, or saying that you did anything wrong at all. Hopefully, you just left that part out, but if not, I think the two of you are going to have a lot more of these sorts of misunderstandings in your future.
Edit: Sorry, I found it where you said you tried to call her all night without reaching her and got in touch with her the next morning.
I've got to say that both of you seemed to have handled this pretty badly, and I'm just going by what you've posted here.
She does come off as pretty irrational at first glance, but reading a bit more deeply, you certainly don't come off as a very concerned boyfriend. You said yourself that when she said she didn't have a ride you just said sorry, I can't help you out because I've been drinking, and then you later said that when she said she might have to walk the mile home in the dark you just told her that if she had to, then do it (politely). So it wasn't like she asked for a ride, you said no, and then she hung up on you. There was some conversation there and you didn't mention anything about showing any real concern for her situation. In fact, it sounds like you were pretty much just saying, tough luck. I think most of the guys here would have at least tried to show some concern for her situation and discussed her options with her trying to be helpful instead of just telling her to walk a mile in the dark if she had to (politely). So yes, she should have been able to find a ride on her own from someone or call a cab, but from your own description of the situation I can see her being a bit pissed at you over that conversation.
Now the calling back and forth between the two of you and not being able to get through is one of those things that could just happen, and it was pretty immature of her to decide to not answer any more calls later, but then you do pretty much the same thing by not even going over to check up on her that night. Again, sure you're mad that she's not answering your calls, but it also just adds fuel to the fire of her thinking you're not concerned about her at all.
Then, from your description of things, without even seeing her in person after all of this you send her an email telling her you need to stop seeing each other as a scare tactic to get her to apologize and say that she is in the wrong, and if she does, you'll veto it, otherwise it's over.
And then finally in your update, you say that she apologized, that she knew that she was in the wrong, and understood that her actions were irrational. You say nothing about YOU apologizing for any of the mistakes you made, or saying that you did anything wrong at all. Hopefully, you just left that part out, but if not, I think the two of you are going to have a lot more of these sorts of misunderstandings in your future.
thecoolnessrune
Diamond Member
- Jun 8, 2005
- 9,673
- 583
- 126
I find it surprising that one wouldn't ask if she had planned a route home or not.. I guess I just like details worked out..
Then again, I dont drink.. Then again, I wouldn't really party.. even on my bday.. And then again I just tend to be very protective of my girl's wellbeing..
So nevermind me, I dont particularly fit your personality
Then again, I dont drink.. Then again, I wouldn't really party.. even on my bday.. And then again I just tend to be very protective of my girl's wellbeing..
So nevermind me, I dont particularly fit your personality
- Jan 21, 2005
- 6,023
- 0
- 0
I'll clear a few things up.
I only talked to her one time, this was when she initially asked me for a ride. To spare details, I didn't go very deep into what I said earlier.. but it was a lot more than "tough luck". I repeatedly told her how sorry I was, and how I would do anything for her (include pick her up) if she had made arrangements with me earlier. I was literally mid sentence when she understood what I was saying and didn't want to bother hearing it, so she just gave me, "fine, bye".
Later on, I would have definitely driven over there to check up on her, due to her ignoring my calls. I have done that several times in the past when she has been mad--but this time it was different. I ended up talking to her friend on the phone, and her friend informed me that she was at her parents house. To spare my self an awkward moment, I stayed home, thinking that she would give me a call if she went home for the night. She never called, nor answered my calls, so I assumed that she just spent the night at her parents house. (Although she did bring up this exact same point, and I told her that her friend had given me the info, and she immediately understood).
When we spoke at lunch, we did both apologize to each other. I apologized for not immediately taking more action to help her out, but that was it. She apologized for all of the above.
So now I ask you
If you were stuck somewhere and she had the car, would you expect her to pick you up?
I know I would unless she was at work or in school etc....
IHateMyJob2004
Lifer
- Sep 29, 2004
- 18,656
- 67
- 91
Welcome to the real world, all women are messed up. gays really have things figured out if you ask me.
No. I would not. I would not expect her to pick me up. No way would I have that expectation. I really cannot fathom having that kind of expectation, honestly.
If I made the decision to put myself in a position where I could not transport myself would I place that unexpected burden on my partner without letting them know in advance.
Bad choices lead to bad outcomes.
Key here is she made the decision to be stuck and expected to be bailed out. That is the very defintion of selfishness.
That sounds more reasonable, especially the parts about her being at the parents' and the apologies. Thanks for clearing it up. Good luck to the two of you.
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