YAGT: My fault that she didn't arrange a ride home

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sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,030
4
61
Originally posted by: LLKOOLJ
Originally posted by: kstu
hooray for common sense and level-headedness, you're great six
Yeah she sounds like she would be fun. Get drunk and go over later for some booty:D

I'm not fun enough to date someone who would only be coming over for some booty. ;)
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
94
91
Geekbabe your head must be denser than tungsten if you seriously think he should have cancelled his plans when he had absolutely NO idea she would need a ride home while he was HAVING DINNER. I am at a loss for words regarding your inability to either admit you are wrong and your opinion was totally misdirected or you seriously needed Red to come in here and back you up. It is pretty obvious that option 2 is the winner. Either way makes you pathetic, so no answer will be good. Incoming ban on me even though I didn't need to resort to name calling *cough* Red *cough*.

The OP was going to maintain his plans to meet at 10, drinking or not. If she didn't need to be picked up, she would NEVER have known he was drinking and this wouldn't have ever been an issue. The logical progression of events for a night such as what the OP planned would be to have dinner, drink if you want, and cut yourself off so you can drive to meet someone at a later time. An unforseen event in the middle of that time period is in no way the OPs fault. It is unfortunate that it was his SO who needed something, but that doesn't change the fact that he had absolutely no idea he would need to be sober before 10. I almost can't believe I had to type this out because it should make sense to anyone with the cognitive skills of a network cable, but here we are.
 

apac

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2003
6,212
0
71
Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
...denser than tungsten...
...the cognitive skills of a network cable...

:laugh: cause I had to look up the density of tungsten.
 

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
Geekbabe your head must be denser than tungsten

Take a chill pill man. Everyone is stating their opinion based on their own life experiences and how they perceived the issue stated in the original post. Nobody here has any right to be calling each other names, unless otherwise provoked by other cheap shots. At which point you're just going off topic anyway, so save it for PM's.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,199
2,452
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
Geekbabe your head must be denser than tungsten if you seriously think he should have cancelled his plans when he had absolutely NO idea she would need a ride home while he was HAVING DINNER. I am at a loss for words regarding your inability to either admit you are wrong and your opinion was totally misdirected or you seriously needed Red to come in here and back you up. It is pretty obvious that option 2 is the winner. Either way makes you pathetic, so no answer will be good. Incoming ban on me even though I didn't need to resort to name calling *cough* Red *cough*.

The OP was going to maintain his plans to meet at 10, drinking or not. If she didn't need to be picked up, she would NEVER have known he was drinking and this wouldn't have ever been an issue. The logical progression of events for a night such as what the OP planned would be to have dinner, drink if you want, and cut yourself off so you can drive to meet someone at a later time. An unforseen event in the middle of that time period is in no way the OPs fault. It is unfortunate that it was his SO who needed something, but that doesn't change the fact that he had absolutely no idea he would need to be sober before 10. I almost can't believe I had to type this out because it should make sense to anyone with the cognitive skills of a network cable, but here we are.


I am trying to explain why I think this gal reacted as she did.Sorry but I totally understand why she'd be upset and still think he'd have been smarter to cancel altogether.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,125
30,076
146
Originally posted by: FilmCamera
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: BigJ
Originally posted by: zinfamous
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Hold up a minute,you were too drunk to give her a ride but were planning on going over
for to spend the night later?

I wasn't drunk at the time. I had stopped drinking. I just don't like driving with alcohol in my system. I was going to drive over there in an hour or so once I was sober.


ya, i have a problem with this too. I don't see how the hour or so between when you should have picked her up and when you planned on visiting makes any difference. If you respected her, and wanted to be with her, you would have picked her up. Just admit it to yourself, and move on, I suppose.

1 hour can mean the difference between nothing happening or a license revocation and thousands of dollars in attorney fees.



ie: he couldn't be bothered with picking her up,but when he was done drinking and socializing he'd have driven over there to let her suck him off.


Sorry but if he'd cancelled his plans entirely to having had too much to drink,I could go along with him.

Defending the immature girlfriend eh? And way to make assumptions about things you know nothing about. Guess we shouldn't expect much else from you though.


I'm with Geekbabe on this point. How do you think his actions/response were in any way more mature? Maybe the gf overreacted on the phone about his unwillingness to come, but just think about the situation a bit: I'll re-read, but if the OP feels that 2 glasses of wine will put him in driving trouble, then he must have the constitution of a squirrel. Sounds like a convenient excuse to me.

Help a woman out, date one with a sense of self-relience, or maybe both of them need to grow up before they attempt the dating thing again.
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
94
91
Originally posted by: SagaLore
Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
Geekbabe your head must be denser than tungsten

Take a chill pill man. Everyone is stating their opinion based on their own life experiences and how they perceived the issue stated in the original post. Nobody here has any right to be calling each other names, unless otherwise provoked by other cheap shots. At which point you're just going off topic anyway, so save it for PM's.

I'm chilled just fine. It's just that this is classic GB/RD behavior and they are completely in the wrong. The OP didn't do anything wrong other than not responding well enough immediately, but never getting a second chance to correct it really removes his fault in this situation all together. My statement that you quoted was simply a comparison because if this really doesn't make sense to her, then I don't even know what else to say.
 

DaShen

Lifer
Dec 1, 2000
10,710
1
0
Originally posted by: zinfamous
I'm with Geekbabe on this point. How do you think his actions/response were in any way more mature? Maybe the gf overreacted on the phone about his unwillingness to come, but just think about the situation a bit: I'll re-read, but if the OP feels that 2 glasses of wine will put him in driving trouble, then he must have the constitution of a squirrel. Sounds like a convenient excuse to me.

Help a woman out, date one with a sense of self-relience, or maybe both of them need to grow up before they attempt the dating thing again.

BINGO
 

apac

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2003
6,212
0
71
Originally posted by: zinfamous
Originally posted by: FilmCamera
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: BigJ
Originally posted by: zinfamous
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Hold up a minute,you were too drunk to give her a ride but were planning on going over
for to spend the night later?

I wasn't drunk at the time. I had stopped drinking. I just don't like driving with alcohol in my system. I was going to drive over there in an hour or so once I was sober.


ya, i have a problem with this too. I don't see how the hour or so between when you should have picked her up and when you planned on visiting makes any difference. If you respected her, and wanted to be with her, you would have picked her up. Just admit it to yourself, and move on, I suppose.

1 hour can mean the difference between nothing happening or a license revocation and thousands of dollars in attorney fees.



ie: he couldn't be bothered with picking her up,but when he was done drinking and socializing he'd have driven over there to let her suck him off.


Sorry but if he'd cancelled his plans entirely to having had too much to drink,I could go along with him.

Defending the immature girlfriend eh? And way to make assumptions about things you know nothing about. Guess we shouldn't expect much else from you though.


I'm with Geekbabe on this point. How do you think his actions/response were in any way more mature? Maybe the gf overreacted on the phone about his unwillingness to come, but just think about the situation a bit: I'll re-read, but if the OP feels that 2 glasses of wine will put him in driving trouble, then he must have the constitution of a squirrel. Sounds like a convenient excuse to me.

Help a woman out, date one with a sense of self-relience, or maybe both of them need to grow up before they attempt the dating thing again.

I do not drive if I feel any effect of alcohol, regardless of how much I've had. Disagreeing with his choice to not drink and drive is not the best foundation for an argument.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,125
30,076
146
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Why do some people have so much trouble understanding this concept:

Dinner with wine at 8PM.
Plans for me to come over at 10PM.

I drank at 8, but not so much that I would need to stay home all night. At the same time, I wasn't going to drive right after drinking.

This seems very clear cut to me.


My thinking is this: It sounds like the GF overreacted a bit. But, you seemed firm in setting times and sticking to some pre-determined schedule, so much so that helping her out a bit would be too much to inconvenience you. You make sacrifices in relationships. If both of you are willing to break up over this piddly little incident, then wtf is the point of dating each other?

If she went psycho, fine. But if she was showing that she was upset because you couldn't adjust your 2-hour plan to help her out, then I don't see how she's in the wrong.
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
94
91
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
Geekbabe your head must be denser than tungsten if you seriously think he should have cancelled his plans when he had absolutely NO idea she would need a ride home while he was HAVING DINNER. I am at a loss for words regarding your inability to either admit you are wrong and your opinion was totally misdirected or you seriously needed Red to come in here and back you up. It is pretty obvious that option 2 is the winner. Either way makes you pathetic, so no answer will be good. Incoming ban on me even though I didn't need to resort to name calling *cough* Red *cough*.

The OP was going to maintain his plans to meet at 10, drinking or not. If she didn't need to be picked up, she would NEVER have known he was drinking and this wouldn't have ever been an issue. The logical progression of events for a night such as what the OP planned would be to have dinner, drink if you want, and cut yourself off so you can drive to meet someone at a later time. An unforseen event in the middle of that time period is in no way the OPs fault. It is unfortunate that it was his SO who needed something, but that doesn't change the fact that he had absolutely no idea he would need to be sober before 10. I almost can't believe I had to type this out because it should make sense to anyone with the cognitive skills of a network cable, but here we are.


I am trying to explain why I think this gal reacted as she did.Sorry but I totally understand why she'd be upset and still think he'd have been smarter to cancel altogether.

Holy...are you kidding me?

Lets play the night out like this:

OP has dinner at 8:00/8:30 and drinks SOME
OP watches TV w/ roommate and stops drinking with the intent of being sober by 10
OP does NOT receive a phone call from GF at any time during the night
OP is sober by 10 and proceeds to meet his pre-arranged 10:00 date

ok, in this situation, she had absolutely no idea he was drinking and he still made his deadline just fine.

In the situation as it happened, inject a random phone call between lines 2 and 4, then remove line 3. He was drunk, but would be sober by 10:00 and still be able to make his date. If he had any clue that she would need a ride, he wouldn't have been drinking. Any responsible adult should be able to arrange a ride to/from wherever they are ahead of time, not at the last minute. The reason everyone knows more than just 1 person is incase that 1 person isn't available. What if he was outside helping a neighbor and couldn't hear the phone? Would he still be at fault? Wouldn't he still be able to make his 10:00 date? This is the most insane argument I've ever heard. If my soon to be wife ever did anything even half this unreasonable we would have broken up long ago. I wouldn't be able to tolerate that kind of selfish attitude, and I also wouldn't cancel my plans that I would still be able to meet.
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
94
91
Originally posted by: zinfamous
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Why do some people have so much trouble understanding this concept:

Dinner with wine at 8PM.
Plans for me to come over at 10PM.

I drank at 8, but not so much that I would need to stay home all night. At the same time, I wasn't going to drive right after drinking.

This seems very clear cut to me.


My thinking is this: It sounds like the GF overreacted a bit. But, you seemed firm in setting times and sticking to some pre-determined schedule, so much so that helping her out a bit would be too much to inconvenience you. You make sacrifices in relationships. If both of you are willing to break up over this piddly little incident, then wtf is the point of dating each other?

If she went psycho, fine. But if she was showing that she was upset because you couldn't adjust your 2-hour plan to help her out, then I don't see how she's in the wrong.

If he was playing xbox, then you have a point, but he did something that impaired his ability to drive safely. He had no plans to meet up with her beforehand so he should be able to drink if he wants to. Expecting someone to drop what they are doing when they had no idea it was coming is pretty selfish, especially since he couldn't do anything due to the alcohol, which he had every right to drink.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,125
30,076
146
Originally posted by: Descartes
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Originally posted by: Descartes
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Originally posted by: zinfamous
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Hold up a minute,you were too drunk to give her a ride but were planning on going over
for to spend the night later?

I wasn't drunk at the time. I had stopped drinking. I just don't like driving with alcohol in my system. I was going to drive over there in an hour or so once I was sober.


ya, i have a problem with this too. I don't see how the hour or so between when you should have picked her up and when you planned on visiting makes any difference. If you respected her, and wanted to be with her, you would have picked her up. Just admit it to yourself, and move on, I suppose.

Maybe we feel differently about drinking and driving. A good friend of mine killed someone last week. At this point, I don't drive if I can feel any buzz. An hour would have made a difference in this case.

Bah, come on man. How old are you (that was a rhetorical question; I know how old you are)? Find a friend to pick her up. Get a cab. Do something...

I agree it's a lot of drama for a simple issue, but you sounded awfully flippant about it. Maybe I'm whipped and giving the woman too much credit though.

Yeah. You're right. The thing is, she really didn't give me a chance to help her out. After the initial call where I told her I couldn't come, she didn't answer a single phone call for the rest of the night. If she couldn't find a ride, I would have definitely taken action (ie called a cab.. but after I knew her family/friends couldn't pick her up--they live VERY close).

Ahh, well that says a lot more. Sorry if I missed that part. I still think it probably had a lot to do with how you told her you couldn't make it. In my experience, women like to see how willing you are to do something even if they know you can't do it.

edit: After I got off the phone, I waited about 5 minutes for a call back. She didn't call back, so I called her ~10 times within the next 20 minutes. I was actively trying to help (I realize I should have done that right off the bat).

Yeah, not doing it immediately is what screwed it all up. I've had that same experience with every women I've ever known. The slightest hesitation means they'll say, "Fine, forget it" and there's little recompense that can be offered.


OK, missed this point earlier. She's psycho. I think you did all that you could. You're attempts to call her back construe an effort to fix what could be considered an error on your part. She's an immature bitch for not realizing it.

Hit it for some make-up nookie, then dump her ass anyway. ;) Cruel but...you know.
 

MrDudeMan

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
15,069
94
91
Originally posted by: zinfamous

OK, missed this point earlier. She's psycho. I think you did all that you could. You're attempts to call her back construe an effort to fix what could be considered an error on your part. She's an immature bitch for not realizing it.

Hit it for some make-up nookie, then dump her ass anyway. ;) Cruel but...you know.

lol, nice
 

James Bond

Diamond Member
Jan 21, 2005
6,023
0
0
Well, I'm back... I can't believe I missed so much :)

I realize that most YAGT's are very biased, but I honestly have tried *very* hard to make this thread as informational (from both POVs) as possible.

During lunch we talked.

The main reason she was upset was because she felt that I didn't care about what happened to her. I told her that I did care, and that she never gave me a chance to help her out by ignoring all of the calls, etc.

I'm preparing to be flamed/shens'd for whats coming next, but I swear in all honesty that this is the truth:
About 5 minutes after our initial conversation, we both called each other about 8 times. None of our calls successfully went through. We both hit each others voice mail, assuming that the other was canceling the calls, but in reality, they were colliding (I assume). At that point, she thought that I was ignoring her calls completely, thus forming the assumption that I didn't care what happened to her, and would rather continue to drink. She became angry, and decided not to answer any calls for the rest of the night. I had trouble believing that she had tried to call me at all, and she insisted on showing me her phone log which did indeed show several unanswered outgoing calls, just after our conversation.

Because she was still upset today, she placed blame on me for things that I could not control, which she was very apologetic for during lunch. I told her that I couldn't be with someone who would scapegoat blame the way she had--she knew that she was in the wrong, and understood that her actions were irrational.
 

newb111

Diamond Member
Oct 8, 2003
6,991
1
81
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Well, I'm back... I can't believe I missed so much :)

I realize that most YAGT's are very biased, but I honestly have tried *very* hard to make this thread as informational (from both POVs) as possible.

During lunch we talked.

The main reason she was upset was because she felt that I didn't care about what happened to her. I told her that I did care, and that she never gave me a chance to help her out by ignoring all of the calls, etc.

I'm preparing to be flamed/shens'd for whats coming next, but I swear in all honesty that this is the truth:
About 5 minutes after our initial conversation, we both called each other about 8 times. None of our calls successfully went through. We both hit each others voice mail, assuming that the other was canceling the calls, but in reality, they were colliding (I assume). At that point, she thought that I was ignoring her calls completely, thus forming the assumption that I didn't care what happened to her, and would rather continue to drink. She became angry, and decided not to answer any calls for the rest of the night. I had trouble believing that she had tried to call me at all, and she insisted on showing me her phone log which did indeed show several unanswered outgoing calls, just after our conversation.

Because she was still upset today, she placed blame on me for things that I could not control, which she was very apologetic for during lunch. I told her that I couldn't be with someone who would scapegoat blame the way she had--she knew that she was in the wrong, and understood that her actions were irrational.

Now that sounds more mature of both of you (if indeed you aren't lying to each other)
/thread
 

apac

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2003
6,212
0
71
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Well, I'm back... I can't believe I missed so much :)

I realize that most YAGT's are very biased, but I honestly have tried *very* hard to make this thread as informational (from both POVs) as possible.

During lunch we talked.

The main reason she was upset was because she felt that I didn't care about what happened to her. I told her that I did care, and that she never gave me a chance to help her out by ignoring all of the calls, etc.

I'm preparing to be flamed/shens'd for whats coming next, but I swear in all honesty that this is the truth:
About 5 minutes after our initial conversation, we both called each other about 8 times. None of our calls successfully went through. We both hit each others voice mail, assuming that the other was canceling the calls, but in reality, they were colliding (I assume). At that point, she thought that I was ignoring her calls completely, thus forming the assumption that I didn't care what happened to her, and would rather continue to drink. She became angry, and decided not to answer any calls for the rest of the night. I had trouble believing that she had tried to call me at all, and she insisted on showing me her phone log which did indeed show several unanswered outgoing calls, just after our conversation.

Because she was still upset today, she placed blame on me for things that I could not control, which she was very apologetic for during lunch. I told her that I couldn't be with someone who would scapegoat blame the way she had--she knew that she was in the wrong, and understood that her actions were irrational.

"So what have we learned?"

As many people have reiterated before this, it's always always better to cool off and talk about things reasonably. Usually, that means don't listen to the "drop her like a bad habit" posters. Or, better yet, don't post a YAGT in the first place because those comments will bias your opinion of her even more.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,125
30,076
146
Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
Originally posted by: zinfamous
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Why do some people have so much trouble understanding this concept:

Dinner with wine at 8PM.
Plans for me to come over at 10PM.

I drank at 8, but not so much that I would need to stay home all night. At the same time, I wasn't going to drive right after drinking.

This seems very clear cut to me.


My thinking is this: It sounds like the GF overreacted a bit. But, you seemed firm in setting times and sticking to some pre-determined schedule, so much so that helping her out a bit would be too much to inconvenience you. You make sacrifices in relationships. If both of you are willing to break up over this piddly little incident, then wtf is the point of dating each other?

If she went psycho, fine. But if she was showing that she was upset because you couldn't adjust your 2-hour plan to help her out, then I don't see how she's in the wrong.

If he was playing xbox, then you have a point, but he did something that impaired his ability to drive safely. He had no plans to meet up with her beforehand so he should be able to drink if he wants to. Expecting someone to drop what they are doing when they had no idea it was coming is pretty selfish, especially since he couldn't do anything due to the alcohol, which he had every right to drink.


A dinner he made with his roommate is no different than playing X-Box. if the relationship was worth anything, he could delay/postpone the chow (Hint: he can always cook again, eat later--the notion that 'I must have this warm food now' being stronger than the need to help out an SO is blatantly immature. His roommate shouldn't care if he needs to help his lady out) The alcohol thing is a different issue. I don't feel the effects after 2 glasses of wine. It's no problem for me. Half a bottle...maybe. Personally, I have no experience thinking that amount of alcohol would affect my ability to drive. So, I'm interpreting his initial response as a convenient excuse--based on my experience

However, He did try to call her back and check up on her, several times. She reacted like a child. I did not see this bit of info earlier, so now I think the OP needs to walk away from this one.
 

rasczak

Lifer
Jan 29, 2005
10,437
22
81
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: K1052
Originally posted by: DeadByDawn
Originally posted by: Red Dawn
Originally posted by: yllus
Unfortunately, she's decided to use this event to "train" you. Which in itself isn't a bad thing, we all do it to our significant others. But usually for a better reason than this.

If you apologize and say that she was right, you'll set a precedent that you're not going to like very much. Hold firm on this one, even if it means a breakup.
Yeah real good advice:roll:

I think it's good advice.

Me too, either that or he decides never to do anything that could impair his ability to operate a car without her say so. :roll:

Could he possibly have been a little more helpful? Yes, though it doesn't sound like she gave him much of a chance and is blowing this totally out of proportion.

He'd have been MUCH better off if he'd simply apologised,stated he'd had too much to drink to drive safely and cancelled the entire evening.

I agree with your thinking on a lot of things, but I cannot agree with your here. You are misconstruing the issue.

Stated: He could not pick her up (drinking) (did not want to drive after having drunk) very understandable. He said he tried to reach her to set something up. She wouldn't answer until the next morning. So how is he supposed to help when she wouldn't even answer his call? She shouldn't have went for a "swim" if she knew her friend was leaving early. What's that tell you already? That she assumed he would be able to pick her up. Note that she didn't tell him anything about needing a ride later. Granted he could have tried to arrange something during their first call but she hung up promptly after he said he would not be able to pick her up. If he'd made plans to be with her LATER taht evening after she'd gone to the gym, and given himself plenty of time to the the alcohol diminish, why should he cancel the date they had planned on?
 

James Bond

Diamond Member
Jan 21, 2005
6,023
0
0
Originally posted by: zinfamous
Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
Originally posted by: zinfamous
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Why do some people have so much trouble understanding this concept:

Dinner with wine at 8PM.
Plans for me to come over at 10PM.

I drank at 8, but not so much that I would need to stay home all night. At the same time, I wasn't going to drive right after drinking.

This seems very clear cut to me.


My thinking is this: It sounds like the GF overreacted a bit. But, you seemed firm in setting times and sticking to some pre-determined schedule, so much so that helping her out a bit would be too much to inconvenience you. You make sacrifices in relationships. If both of you are willing to break up over this piddly little incident, then wtf is the point of dating each other?

If she went psycho, fine. But if she was showing that she was upset because you couldn't adjust your 2-hour plan to help her out, then I don't see how she's in the wrong.

If he was playing xbox, then you have a point, but he did something that impaired his ability to drive safely. He had no plans to meet up with her beforehand so he should be able to drink if he wants to. Expecting someone to drop what they are doing when they had no idea it was coming is pretty selfish, especially since he couldn't do anything due to the alcohol, which he had every right to drink.


A dinner he made with his roommate is no different than playing X-Box. if the relationship was worth anything, he could delay/postpone the chow (Hint: he can always cook again, eat later--the notion that 'I must have this warm food now' being stronger than the need to help out an SO is blatantly immature. His roommate shouldn't care if he needs to help his lady out) The alcohol thing is a different issue. I don't feel the effects after 2 glasses of wine. It's no problem for me. Half a bottle...maybe. Personally, I have no experience thinking that amount of alcohol would affect my ability to drive. So, I'm interpreting his initial response as a convenient excuse--based on my experience

However, He did try to call her back and check up on her, several times. She reacted like a child. I did not see this bit of info earlier, so now I think the OP needs to walk away from this one.

I had had more than 2 glasses, I'm not sure who started that number. I had drank ~half bottle when I talked to her.
 

kaizersose

Golden Member
May 15, 2003
1,196
0
76
Originally posted by: Tizyler
she knew that she was in the wrong, and understood that her actions were irrational.

after a woman says that is when you are supposed to propose to her
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,125
30,076
146
Originally posted by: apac
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Well, I'm back... I can't believe I missed so much :)

I realize that most YAGT's are very biased, but I honestly have tried *very* hard to make this thread as informational (from both POVs) as possible.

During lunch we talked.

The main reason she was upset was because she felt that I didn't care about what happened to her. I told her that I did care, and that she never gave me a chance to help her out by ignoring all of the calls, etc.

I'm preparing to be flamed/shens'd for whats coming next, but I swear in all honesty that this is the truth:
About 5 minutes after our initial conversation, we both called each other about 8 times. None of our calls successfully went through. We both hit each others voice mail, assuming that the other was canceling the calls, but in reality, they were colliding (I assume). At that point, she thought that I was ignoring her calls completely, thus forming the assumption that I didn't care what happened to her, and would rather continue to drink. She became angry, and decided not to answer any calls for the rest of the night. I had trouble believing that she had tried to call me at all, and she insisted on showing me her phone log which did indeed show several unanswered outgoing calls, just after our conversation.

Because she was still upset today, she placed blame on me for things that I could not control, which she was very apologetic for during lunch. I told her that I couldn't be with someone who would scapegoat blame the way she had--she knew that she was in the wrong, and understood that her actions were irrational.

"So what have we learned?"

As many people have reiterated before this, it's always always better to cool off and talk about things reasonably. Usually, that means don't listen to the "drop her like a bad habit" posters. Or, better yet, don't post a YAGT in the first place because those comments will bias your opinion of her even more.


:thumbsup: :D to both posts

gl, OP.

Such a silly situation, but based on what you've said, I find it hard to deny. Strange....
 

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Well, I'm back... I can't believe I missed so much :)

I realize that most YAGT's are very biased, but I honestly have tried *very* hard to make this thread as informational (from both POVs) as possible.

During lunch we talked.

The main reason she was upset was because she felt that I didn't care about what happened to her. I told her that I did care, and that she never gave me a chance to help her out by ignoring all of the calls, etc.

I'm preparing to be flamed/shens'd for whats coming next, but I swear in all honesty that this is the truth:
About 5 minutes after our initial conversation, we both called each other about 8 times. None of our calls successfully went through. We both hit each others voice mail, assuming that the other was canceling the calls, but in reality, they were colliding (I assume). At that point, she thought that I was ignoring her calls completely, thus forming the assumption that I didn't care what happened to her, and would rather continue to drink. She became angry, and decided not to answer any calls for the rest of the night. I had trouble believing that she had tried to call me at all, and she insisted on showing me her phone log which did indeed show several unanswered outgoing calls, just after our conversation.

Because she was still upset today, she placed blame on me for things that I could not control, which she was very apologetic for during lunch. I told her that I couldn't be with someone who would scapegoat blame the way she had--she knew that she was in the wrong, and understood that her actions were irrational.

Boo!!! I require more drama.... still two hours of work left!