YAGT: I'm a jerk **UPDATED A THIRD TIME**

[Bryophyte]

The fact that you feel lousy about the situation means you aren't a jerk. A jerk would just discard someone without regard for her feelings. Your mutual friends should understand that you can't just make yourself love someone that you don't feel chemistry with. They might feel uncomfortable being in the middle if you were to have a fight with this girl, but really, it's only been two weeks. So you've had sex? So what, you're two consenting adults and she couldn't have possibly imagined herself to be *really* in love with you on the first date. Or after two weeks if she really examines her feelings objectively.

 

[trmiv]

Oh man. We've been text messaging (on cell phone) each other back and forth during the day while at work for the past few weeks. Well today I haven't really been sending her much because I've been busy. Oh ok, I havent wanted to. I sent her a text message saying I was busy and couldn't talk right now. So for some reason, she pops up on Yahoo messenger and says "Oh, too busy to message me, but not too busy to be online????" But I'm always online at work, busy or not busy. Anyway, told her that and she text messages me back "Are you mad at me? You seem very short with me, did I do something wrong?

I don't want to say anything major to her until I get off work and have a chance to sit down and talk to her. But I have a feeling this is going to go bad.

 

[imported_Papi]

Good luck, bud! You'll need it.

 

[Bryophyte]

Good luck! When I was younger, I didn't handle breakups well. *That* is being a jerk. I admire you for being mature enough to face this head on. Hopefully she will too, eventually.

 

[imported_Papi]

BTW can we get some pics?

 

[trmiv]

Just to add to this, SHE was the WAAAAY more aggressive party that first night we met each other. She definetely pushed the issue.

 

[Bryophyte]

Nothing wrong with that, unless she had ulterior motives.

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: trmiv
Just to add to this, SHE was the WAAAAY more aggressive party that first night we met each other. She definetely pushed the issue.

Have you thought that maybe you are just a little thrown by how fast tis relationship has escalated? Maybe you should tell her that things need to slow down a bit. There is a good chance that after you end things you might have a change of heart.

 

[trmiv]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv
Just to add to this, SHE was the WAAAAY more aggressive party that first night we met each other. She definetely pushed the issue.

Have you thought that maybe you are just a little thrown by how fast tis relationship has escalated? Maybe you should tell her that things need to slow down a bit. There is a good chance that after you end things you might have a change of heart.

Yea, that could be the case. I sure wasn't ready for this.

But I also find it weird that I have little feelings of closeness to this girl. I'm not interested in doing the normal "boyfriend/girlfriend" things with her. I'm usually a pretty thoughtful, romantic guy in a relationship, but that stuff is just not coming out at all. I have to end this....tonight.

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: trmiv

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv
Just to add to this, SHE was the WAAAAY more aggressive party that first night we met each other. She definetely pushed the issue.

Have you thought that maybe you are just a little thrown by how fast tis relationship has escalated? Maybe you should tell her that things need to slow down a bit. There is a good chance that after you end things you might have a change of heart.

Yea, that could be the case. I sure wasn't ready for this.

But I also find it weird that I have little feelings of closeness to this girl. I'm not interested in doing the normal "boyfriend/girlfriend" things with her. I'm usually a pretty thoughtful, romantic guy in a relationship, but that stuff is just not coming out at all. I have to end this....tonight.

Weel if I were you I still woul;d hedge my bets by tellng her I'd want to slow things down instead of just breaking it off. Get to know her better and you might find that you have the beggining of a good thing. At least you will be able to keep it wet for awhile!

 

[bleeb]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv
Just to add to this, SHE was the WAAAAY more aggressive party that first night we met each other. She definetely pushed the issue.

Have you thought that maybe you are just a little thrown by how fast tis relationship has escalated? Maybe you should tell her that things need to slow down a bit. There is a good chance that after you end things you might have a change of heart.

Yea, that could be the case. I sure wasn't ready for this.

But I also find it weird that I have little feelings of closeness to this girl. I'm not interested in doing the normal "boyfriend/girlfriend" things with her. I'm usually a pretty thoughtful, romantic guy in a relationship, but that stuff is just not coming out at all. I have to end this....tonight.

Weel if I were you I still woul;d hedge my bets by tellng her I'd want to slow things down instead of just breaking it off. Get to know her better and you might find that you have the beggining of a good thing. At least you will be able to keep it wet for awhile!

Dude that is still leading her on to the possibility of something more (ie serious relationship). if you are sure you don't want to be with her, then STOP wasting your time and more importantly, wasting HER time. Don't be a TOOL! Also, make sure her intentions are what you are thinking. Maybe she just wants to have fun with you.... make sure the communication is clear.

 

[RIGorous1]

Originally posted by: trmiv
Oh man. We've been text messaging (on cell phone) each other back and forth during the day while at work for the past few weeks. Well today I haven't really been sending her much because I've been busy. Oh ok, I havent wanted to. I sent her a text message saying I was busy and couldn't talk right now. So for some reason, she pops up on Yahoo messenger and says "Oh, too busy to message me, but not too busy to be online????" But I'm always online at work, busy or not busy. Anyway, told her that and she text messages me back "Are you mad at me? You seem very short with me, did I do something wrong?

I don't want to say anything major to her until I get off work and have a chance to sit down and talk to her. But I have a feeling this is going to go bad.

What if she was tipped off by someone here and read this post hahaha now that would be ironic. especially about the "anal sex", "nose picking", "farting", and "being gay" :Q

on a more serious note take her out on another date and break it to her at the end. Be sure to tell her you "Want to be friends still" and that you are serious about it. Hang out with her a few times then time will make her for get out you.

 

[bleeb]

The problem with still hangin out is that the sexual tension might still be there...

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: bleeb

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv
Just to add to this, SHE was the WAAAAY more aggressive party that first night we met each other. She definetely pushed the issue.

Have you thought that maybe you are just a little thrown by how fast tis relationship has escalated? Maybe you should tell her that things need to slow down a bit. There is a good chance that after you end things you might have a change of heart.

Yea, that could be the case. I sure wasn't ready for this.

But I also find it weird that I have little feelings of closeness to this girl. I'm not interested in doing the normal "boyfriend/girlfriend" things with her. I'm usually a pretty thoughtful, romantic guy in a relationship, but that stuff is just not coming out at all. I have to end this....tonight.

Weel if I were you I still woul;d hedge my bets by tellng her I'd want to slow things down instead of just breaking it off. Get to know her better and you might find that you have the beggining of a good thing. At least you will be able to keep it wet for awhile!

Dude that is still leading her on to the possibility of something more (ie serious relationship). if you are sure you don't want to be with her, then STOP wasting your time and more importantly, wasting HER time. Don't be a TOOL! Also, make sure her intentions are what you are thinking. Maybe she just wants to have fun with you.... make sure the communication is clear.

Dude obviously you have never been in his situation! Maybe he is just overwhelmed! Of course only he knows for sure and I trust he will do the right thing. I just brought it up as it may be the case!

 

[bleeb]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: bleeb

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv
Just to add to this, SHE was the WAAAAY more aggressive party that first night we met each other. She definetely pushed the issue.

Have you thought that maybe you are just a little thrown by how fast tis relationship has escalated? Maybe you should tell her that things need to slow down a bit. There is a good chance that after you end things you might have a change of heart.

Yea, that could be the case. I sure wasn't ready for this.

But I also find it weird that I have little feelings of closeness to this girl. I'm not interested in doing the normal "boyfriend/girlfriend" things with her. I'm usually a pretty thoughtful, romantic guy in a relationship, but that stuff is just not coming out at all. I have to end this....tonight.

Weel if I were you I still woul;d hedge my bets by tellng her I'd want to slow things down instead of just breaking it off. Get to know her better and you might find that you have the beggining of a good thing. At least you will be able to keep it wet for awhile!

Dude that is still leading her on to the possibility of something more (ie serious relationship). if you are sure you don't want to be with her, then STOP wasting your time and more importantly, wasting HER time. Don't be a TOOL! Also, make sure her intentions are what you are thinking. Maybe she just wants to have fun with you.... make sure the communication is clear.

Dude obviously you have never been in his situation! Maybe he is just overwhelmed! Of course only he knows for sure and I trust he will do the right thing. I just brought it up as it may be the case!

CALM DOWN little man... Things are just more complicated because she has a kid. Things have to be handled promptly and not dragged on. Word?

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: bleeb

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: bleeb

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv
Just to add to this, SHE was the WAAAAY more aggressive party that first night we met each other. She definetely pushed the issue.

Have you thought that maybe you are just a little thrown by how fast tis relationship has escalated? Maybe you should tell her that things need to slow down a bit. There is a good chance that after you end things you might have a change of heart.

Yea, that could be the case. I sure wasn't ready for this.

But I also find it weird that I have little feelings of closeness to this girl. I'm not interested in doing the normal "boyfriend/girlfriend" things with her. I'm usually a pretty thoughtful, romantic guy in a relationship, but that stuff is just not coming out at all. I have to end this....tonight.

Weel if I were you I still woul;d hedge my bets by tellng her I'd want to slow things down instead of just breaking it off. Get to know her better and you might find that you have the beggining of a good thing. At least you will be able to keep it wet for awhile!

Dude that is still leading her on to the possibility of something more (ie serious relationship). if you are sure you don't want to be with her, then STOP wasting your time and more importantly, wasting HER time. Don't be a TOOL! Also, make sure her intentions are what you are thinking. Maybe she just wants to have fun with you.... make sure the communication is clear.

Dude obviously you have never been in his situation! Maybe he is just overwhelmed! Of course only he knows for sure and I trust he will do the right thing. I just brought it up as it may be the case!

CALM DOWN little man... Things are just more complicated because she has a kid. Things have to be handled promptly and not dragged on. Word?

I got your little man right here pugsly! LOL!!!

 

[bleeb]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: bleeb

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: bleeb

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

Originally posted by: trmiv
Just to add to this, SHE was the WAAAAY more aggressive party that first night we met each other. She definetely pushed the issue.

Have you thought that maybe you are just a little thrown by how fast tis relationship has escalated? Maybe you should tell her that things need to slow down a bit. There is a good chance that after you end things you might have a change of heart.

Yea, that could be the case. I sure wasn't ready for this.

But I also find it weird that I have little feelings of closeness to this girl. I'm not interested in doing the normal "boyfriend/girlfriend" things with her. I'm usually a pretty thoughtful, romantic guy in a relationship, but that stuff is just not coming out at all. I have to end this....tonight.

Weel if I were you I still woul;d hedge my bets by tellng her I'd want to slow things down instead of just breaking it off. Get to know her better and you might find that you have the beggining of a good thing. At least you will be able to keep it wet for awhile!

Dude that is still leading her on to the possibility of something more (ie serious relationship). if you are sure you don't want to be with her, then STOP wasting your time and more importantly, wasting HER time. Don't be a TOOL! Also, make sure her intentions are what you are thinking. Maybe she just wants to have fun with you.... make sure the communication is clear.

Dude obviously you have never been in his situation! Maybe he is just overwhelmed! Of course only he knows for sure and I trust he will do the right thing. I just brought it up as it may be the case!

CALM DOWN little man... Things are just more complicated because she has a kid. Things have to be handled promptly and not dragged on. Word?

I got your little man right here pugsly! LOL!!!

ANYWAYS... getting back to topic and trying to be an "adult" and attempting to help someone solve his problem. Someone mentioned in this thread to talk to your "mutual" friend about not having the "chemistry" with the girl. That way, they will have some foresight into the situation when the girl will talk to the mutual friend. That way, the mutual friend will still remain the "mutual" friend.

 

[trmiv]

yea good idea about talking to the mutal friend. what sucks is, she just left for vacation for two weeks. damn the timing!!!!

 

[imported_Papi]

*cough*thatwasme*cough*
so how'd it go?

 

[trmiv]

hasn't yet. wasn't able to talk to her tonight

 

[imported_Papi]

Originally posted by: trmiv
hasn't yet. wasn't able to talk to her tonight

wasn't able or chickend out?

 

[trmiv]

a little of both i guess. i really want to talk to our mutual friend first.

 

[imported_Papi]

Originally posted by: trmiv
a little of both i guess. i really want to talk to our mutual friend first.

good call, maybe in the mean time, tell her that you wanna slow down. Get to know eachother a little and do little things. Try to keep distance (sexaully).

 

[Mrburns2007]

If there is no other woman in your life then I don't know why you wouldn't just hang with her a while and see if your feelings grow.

Enjoy the sex as well

 

[geckojohn]

First of all, you're not a jerk for not feeling a spark w/ this chick. Just explain to your mutual friend that this isn't the girl that you really want a commitment with. She should be understanding if she's really your friend. Once you explain it to her, tell this girl that the relationship isn't working out and that you aren't compatible together. Tell her you have different goals and needs. Hope this helps.. good luck! Also, don't have have anymore sex with her and DON'T get her pregnant!