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YAGT: I'm a jerk **UPDATED A THIRD TIME**

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HOW are you a jerk?? ... The girl obviously wanted to sleep with you on the 'first date' too .. otherwise it wouldn't have happened. She's developing feelings for you are you aren't for her ... too bad for her! ... i mean come on, its not your FAULT that you haven't developed feelings, it just didn't happen. Just be honest with her -- "hey, i'm not really looking to get into a very serious relationship with you at this point in time" -- chances are she'll take it just fine and you might still be able to have some fun too

AND TAKE THE "I'm a jerk" OUT OF YOUR TITLE ... ITS NOT LIKE YOU INTENTIONALLY SCREWED SOMEONE
 
Originally posted by: Lutefisks
Try to get her to dump you first.

perhaps picking your nose in front of her, or let out a big fart right in front of her son's face. 😀

but seriously, why did you bang her on the first date?
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"There was no pick! No pick!"

😀
 
Originally posted by: jdogg
HOW are you a jerk?? ... The girl obviously wanted to sleep with you on the 'first date' too .. otherwise it wouldn't have happened. She's developing feelings for you are you aren't for her ... too bad for her! ... i mean come on, its not your FAULT that you haven't developed feelings, it just didn't happen. Just be honest with her -- "hey, i'm not really looking to get into a very serious relationship with you at this point in time" -- chances are she'll take it just fine and you might still be able to have some fun too

AND TAKE THE "I'm a jerk" OUT OF YOUR TITLE ... ITS NOT LIKE YOU INTENTIONALLY SCREWED SOMEONE
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MichaelD?
 
Originally posted by: Lutefisks
Try to get her to dump you first.

perhaps picking your nose in front of her, or let out a big fart right in front of her son's face. 😀

but seriously, why did you bang her on the first date?
Click to expand...

Are you 12? Are you Gay? Are you Gay and 12?

I guess you have never been in the situation where a girl is all hot and bothered and things just click sexually. Things happen, you end up just getting on that same note over and over again and then you realize you guys don't have anything else but the sex.

He banged this chick because she wanted it. Doesn't matter if she wanted to sleep with him because she is looking for love, or sex, or a father. I doubt that was her intentions at the time. Mommys want lovin too. 🙂

Just talk to her. Give her the "slow down" speech. Tell her you enjoyed what you did together and regret nothing, but would like to get to know her better before you go any further. If you guys get to know each other better, fine. If you guys end up friends with benefits, great. Who knows, maybe she is just wanting some tail to blow some steam off.

Either way, cut it out now or you will have a very crushed girl later. And make sure you don't bring up the kid or her goals or anything. It will make her feel like a slut if you "took advantage of her" and now want nothing to do with her because of those things. You will also ruin any chance of another guy, who likes her and doesnt mind kids, to ever get her to trust that he does truely like her because you f'd and left. No need to drive this girl into her shell thinking she has a severe albatros around her neck with the kid. Don't be the jerk.
 
Originally posted by: TwinkleToes77
Be honest with her.. Tell her you are a jerk and you thought you would be ok with her having a kid and you really arent. ... it will hurt her feelings.. but anyway you do it it will anyways... so you might as well be truthful
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I agree with TwinkleToesSeventySeven on this one. You should break it off asap to stop her from getting too/overly emotionally attached. Also, this will allow her to move on and find some other chump to be her sugar daddy. Second, after you tell the truth, you will stop feeling like a bastard for using her. As long as you are honest about your feelings with her, then you just have to hope for the best with your "mutual friend." And with that mutual friend, sounds like you "like" her a lot but don't you know that guys and girls can't be friends?? (When Harry Met Sally) Good Luck! Have Fun! No Hacking!
 
Yea, I just need to be honest with her, that is what I'm going to do. I need to do it as soon as possible too. She sent me an offline message this morning before she left her house telling me to have a great day and everything. Damn that made me feel like crap given what I'm going to do. Oh well, can't always be the nice guy. Hopefully our mutual friend will be OK with it. She and her husband have become good friends to me, so I don't want to screw that up.
 
Originally posted by: trmiv
Yea, I just need to be honest with her, that is what I'm going to do. I need to do it as soon as possible too. She sent me an offline message this morning before she left her house telling me to have a great day and everything. Damn that made me feel like crap given what I'm going to do. Oh well, can't always be the nice guy. Hopefully our mutual friend will be OK with it. She and her husband have become good friends to me, so I don't want to screw that up.
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So how did it go? Did you break her heart yet?

If it was up to me, I'd do the opposite. I'd buy her flowers every day for a week, sleep with her and do it several times a night. Hold the door open for her, treat her like a goddess (ignore the kid though, you don't want the kid to get too attached to you). For some reason, girls don't like nice guys. They'll mistreat a nice guy and slave for a jerk. Its always been that way. So, once she got used to it, I'd slow down and eventually stop all that. Then she'll feel like, damn, he sucks. I don't like him. Blah blah blah. Then she'll take a dump and freedom from the mess without having to be a jerk.

But don't take my advise, no one ever thinks that works; eventhough it happens that way so often in life.
 
Maybe speak with the mutual friends first, and tell them that you don't think it is working out the way you had hoped. Thank them for trying, and try is what you've done, with sincerity at that, but it's just not what you are looking for right now.

Maybe ask them for their advice. And explain that you'd like to remain friends with this girl (even if you don't want to, say it to save face with them)

I think it's best you get out ASAP because of the child. You don't want to have the child become attached to you, and you don't want to become attached to the child. Even if it's not something you wanted, and think that you don't, kids have a funny way of leaving an impression on us. We miss them, even if they are not ours.
 
Tell her that the more you get to know her, the more you are realizing that you have different goals in life that just aren't compatible. You don't want her to waste time on a relationship with you when you don't see it going anywhere, as she has a child who depends on her now.
 
Originally posted by: BigDan
Tell her that the more you get to know her, the more you are realizing that you have different goals in life that just aren't compatible. You don't want her to waste time on a relationship with you when you don't see it going anywhere, as she has a child who depends on her now.
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Nah, that'll just devastate her. Try the nice guy approach I suggested. She'll get bored of you real quick and it'll be over before you know it.
 
Originally posted by: minendo
Originally posted by: Spac3d
Cliff notes? Or is "I'm a jerk" the shortened version?😕
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Nailed chick at first meeting. Not able to cope with her having a son. No spark.
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So, essentially, I'm a jerk is the short version.

Keep it in your pants next time fvcker. 🙂
 
Why dont you dump her off to some ATOT guy. They cant seem to find a girl that would give it up, you are trying to get rid of one. 😉

-MC
 
Originally posted by: MattCo
Why dont you dump her off to some ATOT guy. They cant seem to find a girl that would give it up, you are trying to get rid of one. 😉

-MC
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LOL, good idea. Any takers?
 
Good thing you waited until after you slept with her to make the realization that you don't want to be with her.
rolleye.gif
 
Originally posted by: Garet Jax
Good thing you waited until after you slept with her to make the realization that you don't want to be with her.
rolleye.gif
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Yea, I'm sure I'm the first guy that's pulled that one.
rolleye.gif
 
Look, life is full of failed romances and hurt feelings. Her feelings would be hurt worse if it lasted longer, or if you say anything that insults her. Be nice, stay friends if she can bear it. She'll be more embarrassed than heartbroken; as long as she isn't kicked while she's down, she'll get over it. It's only been two weeks. The only real hurts I've had from failed romances involved relationships that lasted more than a few months. Say only nice things about her to your mutual friends. Badmouthing her is what will make you look like a jerk, not hitting it off won't, it's just chemistry.
 
Oh, and don't beat yourself up, from what I can see, you aren't a jerk and by being honest, you *are* being the nice guy.
 
Originally posted by: jdogg
HOW are you a jerk?? ... The girl obviously wanted to sleep with you on the 'first date' too .. otherwise it wouldn't have happened. She's developing feelings for you are you aren't for her ... too bad for her! ... i mean come on, its not your FAULT that you haven't developed feelings, it just didn't happen. Just be honest with her -- "hey, i'm not really looking to get into a very serious relationship with you at this point in time" -- chances are she'll take it just fine and you might still be able to have some fun too

AND TAKE THE "I'm a jerk" OUT OF YOUR TITLE ... ITS NOT LIKE YOU INTENTIONALLY SCREWED SOMEONE
Click to expand...

Didn't you read the story, he did intentionally screw her, the first time they met in fact. Unless he unintentionally slept with her.

I would actually take TekChik's advice
 
I wouldn't badmouth her, I have nothing bad to say about her. She's a nice person, but I just don't see this being a lasting serious relationship, so I want to end it before it goes any farther. I don't want to hurt the poor girl, and I also don't want to piss of our friend. Let this be a lesson to you all, think long and hard before being "hooked-up" by friends. And if you do, TAKE IT SLOW!!
 
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